They had made camp in the prison yard, and from afar Daryl kept watch. He eyed the little campfire where everyone had gathered. Everyone except for Rick, that is. He had walked the fences three times now, checking to make sure they were secure, when in reality he was avoiding Lori. She was due any time now, and of course the drama of who the actual father was was causing some friction between the two.
Daryl had put his money on Shane.
"Here ya go." Carol slid a napkin of food onto the overturned bus, and then joined Daryl on watch. "You've got to keep your strength up."
It was a measly meal for providing strength. "Little Shane must be hungry."
"Be nice." Carol swatted his arm. She grunted and the rubbed her shoulder.
"You alright?" The two of them had grown to be close. Teetering on the edge of friendship, but there were things he still wouldn't discuss with anyone.
"I'm fine. That rifle has a killer kickback, though."
"Here." Daryl held his hand out, offering to give her a massage.
"Oh, you don't have to-" She began to protest.
"Nah, c'mon I did this for Gabry all the time." Talking about her still wasn't something he'd openly do, but now it was almost as if she'd never been real in the first place. He gave Carol's shoulder a squeeze.
"Dang," Carol said as he worked the muscle, "this Gabry girl must have had it nice."
Daryl smiled. He'd never thought he was anything special to Gabry, because she was his better half. It being seen the other way around, well, that made him think otherwise. "She did more for me than I could ever do for her."
"Oh yeah?" Carol murmured, wanting to hear. "How's that?"
"She was just...there." He shrugged.
"I'm sure it was mutual." She credited him.
"I know I put her through hell sometimes. I'm sure I'd given her more than one reason leave me. It's hard to believe that a girl like her loved a guy like me." Daryl chuckled dryly.
He had been arrested over something he couldn't even remember, other than the fact that it was stupid. Sure, he had made her cry before, but it was nothing like this: She was sobbing so hard that she couldn't speak, yet hardly breath. Richard had posted bail for him, and filled out whatever paperwork while she just stood there with her hand covering her mouth, trying to stop herself from crying out loud.
The front door of the county jail hadn't closed before she turned around and slapped him across the face. He was stunned. She then proceeded to punch him in the arm, beat his chest, and push him away. She was crying so hard now that she was hyperventilating.
"Gabry." He reached out for her arm, but she snatched it away.
"Don't! How-" She swallowed back a sob, "how could you?"
He couldn't remember his explanation for whatever it was he had done. She wouldn't let him explain as she struck him across the face again.
"Gabry, that's enough!" Richard had stepped in. "If you're not going to talk to him, I'm taking you home."
She stuck her finger in Daryl's face. "You need to grow the fuck up." That was his first time hearing her cuss. He looked into her red-rimmed eyes, full of rage and anger and disappointment, and he was sorry. More sorry than he would ever be able to convince her.
He'd gone home, just knowing that he'd fucked it all up. He had ruined it, thrown away the best thing that he had had over something stupid. And he had cried. Almost as hard as she had.
There was a knock at the door the next morning, and it had been her. Her eyes were puffy like his, and they stood there for a good while before she finally said, "I'm sorry."
He was staggered. "For what?"
"Being like that...yesterday."
"You had every right to be mad."
She sighed. "I wasn't mad so much as I was disappointed. I don't...I don't want you to think that I hate you because of something stupid you did. And I don't want you hating me because of the way I reacted."
"I don't hate you." He said quickly. "I hate myself, if anything."
"Well, I love you..." That was her first time saying it to him. He almost couldn't believe what she had just said, but the way his heart pounded told him it was true. "If that makes a difference to you."
He clenched his jaw. "Why?" Why did she stick around him? Why did she put up with him? Why did she put herself through all of this?"
"Why?" She repeated back. "Because men like you are hard to come by."
Daryl shook his head. "No. There's a whole prison full of them."
"No." She retorted. "Truth is I don't even know why I love you, Daryl. I just do. Why does God love all the sinners? Because he just does, that's why. So accept it." She turned and walked back to her car, and Daryl stood there watching her. She had to be joking him.
"Hey, Gabry!" He called, and she turned her head. "It's safe to say that...I feel the same." He didn't have to say that he loved her. That she already knew, because it was obvious, but he felt the need to reinforce it, "I love you."
"That girl loved me like God loved the sinners. Unconditionally." Daryl told Carol. "I don't know if I could do it if I stood where she stood."
Carol looked up at him. "Wish I had somebody like that. Come on, let's get back."
* * *
Daryl's sleep was plagued with images of her. Usually he was too exhausted to even dream, but tonight he was restless. He dreamed he was in the woods, and she was running, circling him almost playfully. He'd catch a glimpse of the white hem of her dress and sprint off in that direction, but he was never fast enough. "Come find me. Come find me." Her voice echoed, laughing at his attempt to catch her.
"Gabry, it's not safe." He hadn't dreamed her up in some fantasy. His mind was too absorbed with the harshness of the reality around him to forget it. Even in sleep.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned around and there she was. Her beautiful blond hair clung to her scalp, which was halfway ripped off of her skull. Those lips he had kissed were gone, and now all that awaited him was yellowing teeth. Her green eyes, were now a green of a different, more septic, shade. What had she become?
"Come find me."
"Daryl!" Someone whispered harshly, and he opened his eyes to find Herschel looming over him. The old man had been on watch, and had shaken him awake.
Daryl snatched up his crossbow, and stood up on drowsy legs to begin his search. He had to find her before she became one of those things. He marched off into the darkness.
"Daryl, where are you going?" Herschel called after him.
"To find..." He stopped, coming to his senses. It was futile to go off into the darkness, with no direction, not even a mere idea of where she would be. So Daryl went back and sat down next to the old man.
"To find who? Your brother?"
Daryl shook his head. "Nah. I ain't worried 'bout him."
"Then tell me who it is you're worried about." Herschel gently urged. Daryl looked into the dying fire, unable to speak. He hadn't told anyone else about her except Carol, and he didn't know if he could stomach the pain of bringing her up to anyone else. "Gabry?" Daryl cut his eyes over to Herschel. "You were talking in your sleep."
"Gabry..." Was his girl. Was no one. Was gone. Was supposed to be his wife. Was supposed to be here. Was dead.
Herschel saw the lost look in Daryl's eyes, like he was trying to remember something he had forgotten. Softly he said, "I understand." and then he said no more.