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Soundtrack
Universe and You - KT Tunstall
You know there's no need to hide away
You know I tell the truth
We are just the same
Stay - Rihanna
I threw my hands in the air,
Said, "Show me something"
He said, "If you dare
Come a little closer"
***
Fifty two degrees.
It's not even December yet, and for some god forsaken reason it is fifty two degrees, an uncharacteristic low in Santa Barbara.
I shiver in my denim jacket, tugging the zipper up to my neck. The coat itself was a steal I spotted in a consignment shop last month when I went shopping with Trinity and Tilly. I've been trying to stay true to the sentiment of 'dressing for me,' and as such, have been experimenting with all sorts of interesting clothing. This jacket, with an asymmetrical zipper and a button collar has become one of my favorites to wear to the barn on the increasingly chilly November mornings.
Most of the horses are already turned out in the paddock when I arrive, and I spot Hercules bouncing around in an attempt to get Bambi to play with him. The sight brings a grin to my face.
"Morning, Grace!"
I turn towards the voice, which turns out to be Marilyn working Lavender in the round ring.
"Good Morning!" I call back.
I head to Alice's stall, where she's standing pretty in her baby blue blanket. Last night, the temperatures dropped to almost 30 degrees, and we blanketed all of the horses after dinner. It was quite adorable to see them all decked out in their multicolored gear. Nero looked particularly majestic, as his black blanket brought out the grey in his wonderfully curly mane.
I swear, that horse is fit for a Greek god.
"Morning, Alley Cat," I soothe, scratching the mare behind the ears. "Will you let me put on a saddle today?"
I've tried three times now, and though she's fine when I place the saddle pad on, she bolts as soon as she spots the saddle. I'm not sure where her fear stems from. From what I understand, she was pretty bombproof during her show jumping days.
I lead Alice out of her stall, clipping her into the crossties before removing her blanket. She snorts in protest.
"Aw, baby," I chuckle, patting her side. "Are you cold, too?"
I begin to run the curry comb over her, chatting to her about m week as if she's going to respond. Talking to the mare has become my guilty pleasure, and many jokes have been made about it at my expense.
"You going to saddle her today??
I turn and glance over my shoulder to see Tyler entering the barn, one of the barn cats in his arms. He sets her down on a tack box and slowly approaches Alice.
"I'm gonna try to," I say, running a comb through her mane. Seeing that it's tangle-free, I begin to absentmindedly throw a loose running braid into her long locks. "I don't know if she'll let me."
"Don't worry, if anyone can convince that mare to take a saddle, its you."
"And why would you say that?"
He flashes me a killer grin. "Because you're the only one more hard headed than she is."
I scoff, tossing a hoof pick at his chest in protest.
He chuckles, placing the pick back with the brushes before grabbing Scarlett's halter off her stall.
Before leaving the barn, he turns to me.
"You need something?" I ask.
"Yeah, I was gonna ask you-" he pauses, as if weighing his words in his mind.
"Ask me-" I trail off, waiting for him to continue.
"You know what, never mind. It's nothing."
"Tyler," I laugh, watching as he heads out the barn. I turn my attention back to Alice, rolling my eyes. "Can you believe this, girl? And we're hardheaded."
I tie off her braid and take her off the crossties, waiting for Marilyn to finish up with Lavender before leading Alice out to the round ring. While I'm lunging, I have Levi set down her saddle and pad on the fence.
"Come on girl, three more laps," I urge, my voice light and airy. I smile at the flickering of her ear towards my voice, the ever attentive angel.
Her walk becomes more and more brisk every day, and her previous limp is nonexistent now. The vet is coming out later this week, and I won't be surprised if she gets her clean bill of health.
After I'm satisfied with lunging, I bring her into the center of the ring.
"You gonna let me do this?" I ask softly, scratching below her forelock.
I pick up her saddle pad, bringing it to her face and letting her inspect it before placing it on her back. She stands till, completely disinterested with the process.
"Good girl," I praise, running my fingers up and down her neck.
I go to pick up the saddle, staying a good distance away from her at first. She eyes me curiously, shifting her weight.
"I promise you, there's nothing scary about this saddle," I soothe, beginning to walk towards her. She takes a step to the side, but otherwise allows me to approach her.
I stop a few feet in front of her, the saddle slung over my arm.
"Come on sweetie," I urge. "You can trust me."
We stay locked in a standoff for what seems like an eternity before she ever-so-cautiously closes the distance between us and tentatively begins to nose at the saddle. Her warm blue eyes have a fear hidden behind them, but it's clouded by a blind trust that I know I don't deserve. I have a strong urge to reach out and stroke her, but I don't want to distract her from the saddle. We've made more progress today than all our other sessions combined, and I don't want to ruin our streak.
Once she seems to be at ease with the saddles presence, I walk around to her side and, after verbally reassuring her that everything's going to be okay, swing the saddle onto her back.
When she doesn't react, aside from stomping her foot, I almost start to jump up and down in excitement.
I fasten the girth on her left side, before crossing over to do the same on her right.
The moment I begin to tighten the girth, she bolts, trotting to the other side of the pen. She bucks a total of six times, managing to toss the saddle off with the last one.
I place my hands on my hips.
"Really, girl?"
The mare continues to trot around the ring for a few laps, before slowing to a walk. She drops her head to the ground, as if searching for grass in the sand.
I collect the saddle off the floor, along with the pad, and place them back on the fence.
"Well, you did pretty good today. I'm proud of you, girl," I say, grinning at the mare as she eyes me curiously. "We'll get it eventually."
I reach into my pocket to pull out a small alfalfa cube, and she quickly lifts her head from the ground, intrigued by the possibility of a treat.
"So that got your attention, huh?" I chuckle.
I clip her lead on, handing her the alfalfa which she graciously accepts. When it's gone, she presses her muzzle against my shoulder, asking for more.
I chuckle, scratching her cheek. "Let's get you back."
Once she's settled into her stall, I head out to the arena to watch Tilly jumping Amethyst. I have to admit they're a quite impressive pair, taking jump after jump, the tallest looking to be around a meter.
When I feel someone step beside me on the rail, I smile.
"That mare doesn't even look like she's trying," I say, glancing beside me at Tyler.
"They're pretty amazing, aren't they?"
I nod. "Does she ever show?"
"Every summer."
We continue to watch in silence, but a thought keeps gnawing at me.
"What did you want to ask me earlier?" I pry.
"It's nothing," he says quickly, seemingly embarrassed.
"Tyler," I whine.
"Fine," he groans. "Well, you know the Winter Formal?"
"Mmhm."
The Winter Formal is a dance my school puts on every year just before Christmas. Though I've never gone to any of the dances, it's said to be the most elegant, complete with white twinkly lights and ornately decorated trees. As such, people tend to make a bigger deal about it than Homecoming or Prom.
"There's this- girl," he chokes out. "And I was thinking about asking her."
Ignoring the unwarranted jealous pang in my stomach, I nudge his side and say, "That's great, Tyler. So what's the problem?"
"Well, I – technically, I-"
I grin at his nervous stammering. "Spit it out."
"I can't dance!"
I try to stop myself from laughing, but can't help it.
"Grace, I'm asking for your help here," he pouts. "Can you teach me?"
I turn towards him, placing a hand on my hip. "What makes you think I know how to dance?"
He tilts his head, as if the thought that I was also unable to dance had never struck him.
"Well, do you?"
I smile, grabbing his hand and pulling him along behind me as I head towards the house.
"You're in luck," I chime.
***
"Which do you want to do first- fast or slow songs?"
His eyes widen in horror at the realization that there is a difference between the two.
"O-kay, we'll start with fast," I chuckle, stepping towards him. We're standing in the middle of his room, not wanting to do this in the barn where anyone- namely his sister- could see, and definitely ridicule, us.
"Now, I know must people just grind on each other," I state, a hint of sarcasm in my voice, "but I think that's ridiculously cliché, so I'm going to show you how to swing dance."
"Like what they do in movies from the seventies?"
I roll my eyes. "Do you want my help or not?"
"Yes please."
"Then don't question my methods. Just follow my lead," I chuckle, stretching out my hands for him to take. Once he has, I smile. "Imagine we're in a square, each of us standing in a corner right now. It will make this easier."
I tilt my head thoughtfully before adding, "But we should start in the center, so step towards me."
"Do you even know what you're doing?" he teases.
"I'm going to pretend you didn't just ask me that," I retort. "So, the basic movement of swing dancing is called the butterfly. Basically, you step out, in, and turn. Out, in, and turn."
Once he starts to get the movement down, I throw in a few of my favorite moves one by one- the bowtie, the pretzel, a triple turn, and a few others. He picks them up quickly, surprising me with how fast he learns.
"Are you sure you haven't done this before?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"I think I'd remember dancing with you."
"That's not what I meant," I say, rolling my eyes. "Let's try this with music."
Once we've played a couple songs, I deem him fit for fast songs, and we move on.
"So for slow dancing, you're going to take my right hand with your left," I instruct.
"Like this?"
Ignoring the fire in my palm when he grabs my hand, I nod and say, "Now, place your other hand on my hip. Your partner will put her hand on your shoulder, like this."
We stand like that for a long moment, frozen, before I clear my throat and say, "I'm just going to show you a basic box step, okay? Nothing fancy, but enough that your date won't think you're a blundering moron."
"Thanks," he says sarcastically. I chuckle, rolling my eyes.
"For now, mirror me. Once you get the hang of it, I'll let you lead," I say, winking. "So you're going to step your left foot forward- good. And then your right foot diagonal. Then bring your feet together. Perfect, now right forward- left diagonal, and together. And repeat."
I begin to count out loud, slowly giving up the lead to him.
"One-two-three, one-two-three... Now, if you want to add in a spin, take your hand off her hip-" I wait for him to do so, "-and lift your right arm slightly to guide her under your arm. Let her turn to her right before bringing her back to you."
"Like this?" he asks, spinning me once.
"Yeah," I reply.
He gets a mischievous grin on his face, and continues to spin me over and over until I'm completely dizzy.
"Tyler, stop!" I giggle, falling into his arms in a heap. I stay there until my head stops spinning, before standing up straight and jokingly narrowing my eyes at him. "I'm considering giving you a detention, young man."
He lets out a barking laugh, taking my hand and putting his back on my waist. Still pouting, I put my free hand on his shoulder.
"I'm going to show you one more move, and then we'll add music, okay?" I say after we've been dancing for a while, with Tyler successfully throwing in a spin or two every once in a while.
He nods, a grin on his face. "Whatever you say, teach."
"I'm going to let you dip me, but I swear if you drop me on my head-"
"You'll maim and kill me, I know."
"Exactly," I chuckle. "So you're going to pull me a little closer than we are now, and put both my arms on your shoulders. Good, now wrap both of your arms around my lower back, and when you're ready, slowly dip me backwards. If you need to, you can use your leg to support mine."
After a moment's hesitation, he dips me backwards, hold me there for a few seconds, and pulls me up.
I grin at him, reaching into my pocket for my phone to shuffle through my playlists.
"We're going to try with music now, if that's all right with you."
I pick the first slow song I can find, and set my phone down on his bed.
"Ready?" I ask
He nods, and we get back into position.
We dance around the room, with him spinning me every once in a while. He steers away from the dip, perhaps afraid of dropping me. I don't push him on it, figuring he'll do it when he's ready.
"So this- girl. Who is it?" I ask, out of jealousy more than curiosity. "She's got to be pretty special if you're willing to go through all this."
He grins. "Yeah, she's something else."
The song starts to fade out, and my focus drifts. Which is why I'm surprised when Tyler goes in for a low dip.
I yelp involuntarily, clinging tightly to his neck. He smiles down at me, keeping me hanging for what seems like forever. Then, as suddenly as it began, he snaps me up.
My arms are still tight around his neck, and we're so close that my nose grazes against his and all I can see is blue eyes staring into mine.
"Grace-"
Before he finishes his thought, the door swings open.
"Tyler, have you seen- oh," Tilly pauses, a grin spreading over her face as Tyler and I jump apart. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Actually, I was just leaving," I say, grabbing my phone off of the bed. "Good luck with your girl, Tyler. See you both tomorrow."
I bolt out of the house as if my feet are on fire.
Once my mind begins to work again, I decide head to the barn, wanting to see Alice before heading home.
The mare pokes her head out of the stall as soon as she sees me, nuzzling my pockets for treats. I lean my head against hers, breathing out a long sigh.
"I think I'm in too deep," I whisper, my blood still racing. "Way too deep."
I stay still for a while, arms wrapped around Alice, just listening to the sound of her breathing and waiting for my heart to slow.
"Are you okay?"
I snap my head up and see Levi walking towards me.
Let me rephrase.
I snap my head up and see a very shirtless Levi walking straight towards me, his ever present smirk across his lips.
"I'm fine," I reply, taking a step back from Alice's stall. "Just came by to see her before I head home for the day."
"Leaving already?"
"More like fleeing from an awkward situation," I chuckle, dusting off my hands on my breeches.
"Care to elaborate?"
I feign locking my lips and throwing away the key. "It's probably a good idea that I keep this one to myself."
He takes a step towards me, boldly placing a hand on my hip.
"Well, good ideas are overrated."
The sentiment is familiar, and one that reminds me unequivocally of Avery.
I find myself leaning in, allowing him to wrap his arms around my waist.
I could kiss him. I could kiss him right now, and hell, I'd probably enjoy it.
But he's not the one I want.
I'm not even sure if Avery is the one I want anymore.
The feel of his breath tickling my nose snaps me out of my thoughts, and my eyes snap up to his.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. Then, to myself, I add, "You're not him."
He laughs, loosening his grip on me.
"Tyler?" he asks.
"Let's go with that."
He flashes me a boyish grin. "You're such a tease."
His tone is soft, adding a vague undertone of concern to his otherwise joking manner. All tension between us dissipates, and I find myself broken from whatever spell he- or rather, the memory of Avery- had over me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice another person enter the barn. I swiftly pull myself away from Levi, whose arms are still loosely wrapped around me.
My embarrassment doubles at the realization that it's Tyler who just entered the barn.
Before there's time for questions, I brush past both of them and head towards my car.
"Bye, boys!" I call over my shoulder, my mind reeling over the day I've had.
A/N
I'm so tired but this chapter is finished and it's long and it's not total garbage. If you liked it, drop a comment. Comments are my absolute favorite.
I will definitely be busy tomorrow evening, Friday, and Saturday. Also, Sunday. I'll write when I can, but the next update probably won't be till Monday or Tuesday.
I would write more, but I'm super tired and I have to wake up early tomorrow.
Random Quote: "I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself."
I adore you guys!!!
Goodnight My Lovelies!
ޜ