"I love you.."
My dark grey eyes focused into piercing eccentric green ones hovering above me. All my life I was told that the eyes were the key to the soul and the adage couldn't have seemed so correct at the moment. Except, I didn't want him to see into my soul. Why wouldn't I want my boyfriend's eyes on me though?
Ha! Boyfriend. If that wasn't the joke of the century, I didn't know what was. I remember when the title used to give me butterflies in my stomach and cause my heart to beat twice as fast. Now it just made me cringe and question why I even stayed.
A hand wrapped around my throat, adding enough pressure to make my breathing strained and uncomfortable. Oh. Right. This is why I stayed. The endless abuse had chained up any thoughts of escaping into the deepest abyss of my brain. Although, sometimes, they would sporadically break free, weighing on my mind until he had beat me into dismembering the mere thought and snapping me back into submission. Honestly, it was an endless cycle that raged on constantly.
My eyes scanned over the other's, recognizing the well-known anger that appeared so prominent in them. It caused unwanted fear to wash over me, forcing me to cave in and letting out the words that he, no doubtingly, wanted to hear.
"I-I love you t-too."
The sentence had used up the last of my oxygen, leaving my lungs void of the necessity, and yet, Cameron didn't release my neck. If anything, he had tightened his grip, causing the lost to start affecting my body in a matter of seconds.
Desperately, I tried to claw at his arms, black splotches appearing behind my eyes. Before long, my focus slowly became disoriented. My body wouldn't be able to handle this any much longer.
I couldn't comprehend it. Even after I had said the words that Cameron wanted to hear, why on earth was he still punishing me? I didn't get why he was doing this when I had caved in and complied to what he wanted.
"Answer my question without hesitation next time you ungrateful, insufferable bitch." Cameron spat, letting my neck go but not before back handing me hard. It would defiantly leave a bruise, but I had a feeling that he wouldn't care. He would never get caught or punished for it anyway, so he freely did as he pleased without any worries. This was my fault.
I was too scared to tell anyone about the abuse and Cameron realized this. No matter the hell that he put me through, he knew that I would never open up to another individual, too afraid of judgement and rejection. It was from my own fears and insecurities that I felt as if everyone would criticize me.
A gasp harshly passed my lips, my throat burning but my lungs getting the relief of air it desperately needed. This wasn't new. I have become so accustomed to his assaults that one would think that it didn't scare me anymore. That I had grown used to the pain. The truth? I'm still as terrified of his anger as I had been the very first time. Then there was the pain that made bile burn my throat. Never in a million years, would I get over it.
"C-Cameron. I need to get to my rehearsal." My voice came out in an almost inaudible whisper, not wanting to piss him off again.
"Well you'll just have to be late."
Fuck
I couldn't be late, not anymore. This would be the second week that Cameron affected my punctuality and it honestly took a toll on my career. Even as I thought this, I asked myself; did I even have a choice. I already knew the answer.
Cameron dragged his nails down my exposed chest causing a pained moan to escape from my lips. I gasped out, tears forming in my eyes. The pain would've probably been more tolerable if there weren't already barely healed cuts scattered across my chest.
Caused by yours truly, and if he continued, it would only reopen the already sensitive skin.
As soon as I wanted to say another word, he crashed our lips together, roughly forcing his tongue down my throat. Bruising my lip was just a causality.
Don't fight back, I repeated in my mind like mantra, knowing that it would only lead to things more worse than scratches and bruises. Bruises. There would be a shitload that I would have to cover up before leaving. Just great. At least I had my greatest ally. Makeup.
Teeth bit down on my bottom lip, the horrid metallic taste dripping in my mouth. Feeling Cameron's boner through his jeans, pressing against my thigh, I knew that I could push any thoughts of getting on time aside. As if that was happening.
"You're late again."
I glanced over at my manager before quickly looking away, muttering a quick apology. As if I didn't know that. Couldn't he see that I didn't want to talk at the moment, much less get into the inevitable argument about my so called carelessness. Either he didn't figure it out or he just didn't care. I'd bet on the latter.
"Charlie, this not acceptable! It's unprofessional! All last week you were late and I didn't give you much grief about that but now your starting it again for the second week. The show is in a couple days, you can't afford to be late. You know I'll drop you from this label as fast as I-"
"I know!" I interjected angrily. Of all days, why did he have to pick this one to reprimand me. I just wanted to be left alone.
"I'm sorry, I had a rough night and my morning wasn't the greatest either. I'll try not to make it a habit." I tried to keep my voice even and emotionless, hoping that he wouldn't linger on the subject. Thankfully, he didn't and left me alone to my thoughts.
My body ached. Mostly it was the dull pain running through my pain from the bruises. That and Cameron wasn't exactly the gentlest when he was pounding into me. My legs almost gave out underneath me at the mere thought of it. Standing was excruciating. I should probably lay down.
Taking my own advice, I practically fell to the couch that was currently in my dressing room. Maybe I would be able to get a couple minutes of sleep before having to face anyone. At least to calm my nerves. What the hell was I saying, life never went my way, why would it now.
"Hey Mr. Grumpy, I heard you snapped at Derrick. That was mean."
"Go. Away. Ayden."
"Aw, Charlie, you're so cruel sometimes. You act tough but I bet under that tough exterior, you a huge softy." He chuckled.
"You're like an M&M, not that amazing on the outside but when you break through the shell..."
I had opened my eyes enough to see that the other male had made his way over to me, and was currently hovering above me, a smile gracing his lips. Briefly I thought about slapping it off. How annoying.
His blue eyes scanned over my face, probably searching for any reaction to him being at such a close proximity. The wasn't any.
"Ayden, if you're going to stay, at least go to the corner. The last thing I want to see before going to sleep isn't your face."
"Hurtful, babe."
"Get away."
"Aw Charlie." Flicking the dirty blonde hair out of his eyes, Ayden leaned down closer, running his hand down my side and to the end of my shirt. His lips pressed gently at my jawline, before starting to trail down. "I can give you what you want though."
The sudden sexual action had rendered me motionless. Who the hell did he think he was!? How dare he think that he could do this to me! I wanted to shove him off, to kick his ass before forcing him out of my dressing room, but my body wouldn't allow the proper movement for it. Instead it betrayed me, leaning towards his touch and the warmth he emitted.
"S-stop."
"I know you don't want that."
Ayden leaned up, hovering over my lips for a moment before capturing them in his own. It was so different than what I was used to. My body wanted it. It craved it. Never had I realized my pent up sexual frustration until this moment.
Never would I admit how much I actually enjoyed this.
While his fingers caressed my hip, mine interlaced in his hair, gripping it tightly as our tongues fought for dominance. This was nothing like Cameron, there wasn't a need to cautiously watch what I did. It was more fierce but more gentle than that with said male. My mind was too fuzzy to even think about if that statement made sense or not.
I laid there soaking up every moment of it. Cameron. If he ever found out about this he would probably beat me unconscious. No...he would murder me in cold blood and regret nothing. The mere thought caused light trembles to run through me body.
Ayden's lips departed from mine, an unwanted whimper instinctively passing through my lips at the loss. I wanted him back down to take my lips back into his but it never happened. Instead I received an audible gasp from the other male. The side of my shirt was in his fist and lifted up, exposing my scarred and abused torso.
Fuck.
My eyes dilated as fear rushed through my body, a shot of adrenaline causing me to shove Ayden off of me and onto the ground. Fuck. Fuck! Within seconds I was on my feet.
"Ch-Charlie I-" Ayden started, stumbling over his words in an attempt to apologize. I didn't care.
"GET OUT! JUST GET THE HELL OUT!" My voice cracked mid sentence making it sound like a desperate plea other than anger. Why the hell had I allowed him that close in the first place!? What was I thinking.
Ayden's eyes were wide in shock, just gaping at me, unmoving. He knew he had fucked up. I had too.
"OUT!"
"I-I'm sorry." Ayden muttered quickly, scrambling to get to his feet. He didn't look back as he left the room, a soft click following after the door was shut. That was when I had fallen to the ground, too weak to stand. Too weak for everything.
Damn.
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Yay, first chapter done.
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