Not What It Looks Like
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Zera! Happy birthday to you!" they sang as the placed the cake in front of me and I blew out the candles.
Everyone - my adoptive parents, my little brother, Jessica and Mark, a French exchange student who I've became friends with when he first arrived a few months ago - cheered.
"What did you wish for?" Mark said with a little devilish smirk. "Me?"
"I already have you," I pointed out to him.
I giggled and rolled my eyes. I started cutting the cake and giving everyone a piece. Mark was also my boyfriend. I didn't really noticed that he liked me, because I was stuck in my little bubble, then he told me he liked me and at least he wasn't a jerk like Jacob so I gave him a chance. So far it's been fun, sometimes he'd sneak through my window at night to see me, but we never went farther than snogging.
Once everyone was done eating, he helped Craig clear the table. Dad - as I call Craig in my mind - liked Mark a lot. He thought he was a nice proper young man which kind of bothered me. A boyfriend that a dad approves is kind of boring. I was looking for something more exciting, but Mark was going back to France soon since we were reaching the end of the year, so no use breaking up, it was going to happen anyways.
Later that night, once Jessica and Mark had left, I went up to my room. Mark told me he'd be back later in the night.
I took my clothes off to put on my pyjamas, but while I was standing in my underwear, that bloody engine started roaring. I rolled my eyes. My blood was boiling with anger as the blue box appeared in the middle of my bed room. I then realized I was still in my bra and panties, so I hurried to grab my bed spread and wrapped it around my body.
The door opened and the Doctor poked out his head with the smile I remembered all too well.
"Hello, Zera! Happy birthday," he said and walked out the TARDIS.
"Go to Hell," I simply replied, ready to face him.
"What?... Oh! This must be the day I apologize from sneaking out of your window!" he suddenly realized. "Sorry, I've seen a slightly older version of you already. This is kinda like when you met me," he grinned.
"Whatever. I get it, time is complicated. Now please leave!" I said with annoyance.
"I don't think so! Last time, you were begging me to stay now you're kicking me out? Oh, and all the pictures you drew are gone!" he noticed.
"Yes, I didn't feel like see your face anymore. Same goes for now," I spat.
"Zera, don't be so cruel, now. Please let me explain-" the Doctor started.
"Shut up, I don't need your excuses, you just left! Like that, without even a goodbye, I was waiting for you and you never came. You took that silly box of yours and ran off! Fuck you and your stupid bowtie! That's all I have to say to you! Fuck you!"
He looked at me, looking absolutely insulted.
"My TARDIS is NOT silly and bowties are cool!" he stated, rearranging his bowtie.
"That's really all you have to say?" I said, looking at him in disbelief. "God, you are..." I started, but couldn't find the right word.
I sighed, looking at him completely disappointed.
"Ok, that's not all I have to say, Zera. Can I explain to you what happened?" he asked politely.
"Sure," I simply replied.
And he went on and on, using big words and weird things that were obviously not human. I looked at him completely lost once he was done.
"And you didn't understand a single thing did you?" he sighed. "Ok, let me say it in your teenage girl talk. There totally was this freaky weird thingy going on, so I left this pop stand to go, you know, totally check it out," he mocked me.
"That is so not how I speak," I complained.
"But you understood?"
"Yes," I admitted.
"Good. I didn't want to leave without a goodbye, but I know you and I didn't want to drag you into it. I've put you in danger once and lost you for a full 24 hours," he explained.
"But I was 16. I'm not a baby anymore, Doctor."
"I know and today you turned 18 years old, but I prefer to keep you out of harm’s way, Zera. I care about you," he said and the last 4 words made my heart beat rapidly, suddenly, all anger disappeared.
"Doctor," I said soft and walked over to him to hug him tightly with one hand holding up the covers up on my body.
He hugged me back and that moment everything seemed right.
"What the Hell is going on here?" a familiar voice with a French accent yelled from the window.
I turned around to quickly and the Doctor's foot was on the cover, making it fall off of my body.
"Ah!" I shouted, bending down trying to hid myself.
How embarrassing! I covered myself up and looked over to Mark who was in the tree in front of my open window.
"Mark, I can explain!... Well, not really, but it's not what it looks like!" I tried to explain.
"Not what it looks like? You're standing in your underwear in your room with another man who looks much too old for you by the way!" he said angrily and climbed down the tree.
I ran to the window and looked down, he was already running away down the street.
"Bloody Hell!" I complained.
"Whose he?" the Doctor asked, completely ignoring the fact he just saw me in my underwear.
"That's Mark, boyfriend. Well, ex boyfriend I suppose now." I said, letting out a long sigh.
"Oh, terribly sorry. Are you going to cry?" he asked nervously.
"Don't worry, Doctor. It was a matter of time we broke up anyways. I just didn't want it to be like this... I guess there’s no point trying to explain who you are."
"Yes, I think you're right. By the way, why aren't you dressed? I wasn't going to say anything, but..." he trailed off.
"You appeared of the middle of me changing into my pyjamas. Very bad timing," I explained.
"Oh, thank God. When he appeared I thought you were waiting for him... Never mind," he said and opened the door to his TARDIS.
"Wait, going so soon?" I asked, disappointed.
"Yes... unless you want to come with me...?" he offered hesitantly.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise.
"You keep repeating how you want to keep me safe and now you're offering to have dangerous adventures on a daily basis?" I said, not sure I was understanding.
"Well, I suppose you've seen what my life is like, you know the consequences. I figure you're smart enough to make a well informed decision, Zera," he smiled.
I could see in my mind me and the Doctor running away from an alien attack, standing on another planet in the future. I have the possibility of making it come true if I wanted. No more goodbyes between me and the Doctor.
"No thank you," I replied.
He looked at me slightly suspicious.
"Why is that? All time and space at your finger tips and you say no?"
"That's right. Doctor, though I would love to travel with you, I don't think it would be a good idea for me. I'm... I'm fragile - mentally. At least too fragile for this. I don't want to risk my life everyday like you do. I still have nightmares about the cybermen." I explained. "I would love to have you around all the time, but... I know it's not possible if you are you continue this life you live."
He nodded his head slowly, looking at the ground.
"I think that's wise. Personally, I thought you could take it, but you say you can't..." the Doctor said, seeming slightly disappointed.
I hesitated on my decision for a moment, fighting the urge to shout "of course! I'd go anywhere with you!" but I held it back.
"I guess this is goodbye then..." he said about to walk into the TARDIS.
"For now," I smiled. "Goodbye, Doctor," I said and felt a terrible weight in my chest.
"Goodbye, Zera."
And he closed the TARDIS door.
I stood there waiting for the engine to start roaring, but silence. He was probably still thinking of where'd he go next...
The odd sound of the machine started and I just couldn't take it. I wanted to be reckless, do something I know I'd regret later. I wanted to be with him.
"Doctor, wait!" I yelled as the machine was about to completely disappear.
It rematerialized and he poked out his head again.
"Yes?" he asked.
"I'm coming with you," I smiled and grabbed my suitcase. I threw whatever I had in my drowses and even took the time to put on a t-shirt and jeans - after asking the Doctor to close his eyes.
He seemed ecstatic that I changed my mind. But I didn't really change my mind, I knew I was being stupid and irresponsible and my head was screaming to stay. My heart was the one making the decisions now.