"Relic of Hope."
When we got back to the Tower, it was late at night, few Guardians milled around around, those who did looked fairly tired.
My eyelids felt heavy, and I yawned just about every five seconds. My shoulders drooped and I checked multiple times that the safety was on my gun, as I felt ready to drop it. Cayde glanced at me, raising one of his brow plates. On our flight back, I'd spent the whole time in silence, Cayde had talked. He talked all about my parents and how close he'd been with them, and how they'd inspired everyone around them. He described each of them in detail, their personalities and their appearances.
My mother was gentle and fierce at the same time. She was always the person to go for comfort, but if anyone wronged any of her friends, they'd better run. Far, and fast. She was almost always giving warm smiles, saving Guardians from enemies they might not have been ready for yet. She wore her hair a little below her shoulders, usually tucked in a bun or a braid. She was a sunsinger, though Cayde said she should have been a Bladedancer, with how agile she was.
Her best friend, Roxie, the Guardian we'd found, had also been a sunsinger, but she hadn't been as agile as my mother, a better shot though. But they both were good shots. Roxie and my mother were always side by side, Roxie was quite similar to my mother, though she was stronger in physical strength. She was a bit less of a people person, but she was the person people went to for comfort after my mother was gone. She'd been hit hard by my parents death, harder than almost anyone else, Cayde told me she'd wanted to meet me.
Cayde's description of my father was what really surprised me, simply because of how little I'd known about him. My father had been a cheerful person, I remembered it in my earliest memories, he was always playing with me, he loved children. But, like my mother, you didn't want to mess with him. Cayde said when he'd first seen him he'd thought he was a Titan in warlock clothes, because of his strong build. He was strong and he could use the light as a deadly weapon, as a Guardian was supposed to. He always reassured anyone frightened, always loving widely, though he didn't deeply love very many people. When I was eight his best friend died, right in front of him, no less. It messed him up. He got depressed, Cayde said he'd told him once that sometimes my mother and I were the only things he really fought for. If he had survived and she hadn't, I wasn't sure he would have made it past that.
Cayde had talked about them for nearly two hours, after that, we'd sat in a comfortable silence, he'd made me miss my parents even more. Now, standing in the hanger, swaying on my feet, Cayde told the bots manning the ship to put it away and he'd be back to deal with the warp drive later. He took my arm gently, steadying me before leading me out of the hanger, down into the Hall of the Guardians, down the stairs to the left, past the dining hall to the elevators, then down to my room.
"Tessa?" He said, once we'd made it to my room.
I looked up, tired, but paying attention, "Yeah?" I asked.
"You did good today, get some rest, you can sleep in tomorrow. Take some time to digest what happened. I'm sorry you had to see Roxie like that, it was too soon." He said, offering a soft smile.
"Thanks, Cayde." I turned, my hand on the doorknob, "Do you think they'd be proud of me? Choosing to be a Guardian? Fighting for the city?"
"No doubt about it." He said, grinning at me, I smiled back, having a feeling he wasn't just saying it to make me feel better.
"Thanks." I said, then slipped inside, my Ghost following me. Once inside, I slid out of my gear, taking a shower before dressing in the clothes my Ghost had remade for me, soft, fuzzy pajamas. Then, I collapsed on my bed, holding up my hand for my Ghost to come over. He did and I rolled over on my back, running my fingers over his shell as one would a bird's feathers. He landed gently in my hand, watching me.
"I remember my mother had a name for you, what was it?" I asked.
"Echo. She called me Echo." He said, settling in my hand.
"Echo, that makes sense." I said, smiling at him.
"Why?"
"You sound like her."
"Hmm, I guess I do."
I smiled, then set Echo down on the bed beside me, laying over on my side. I leaned over, gently kissing Echo's shell, he tucked close to me, settling against my stomach as I began to drift asleep.
I awoke screaming, Echo was frantically shouting at me to wake up. I caught my breath, the sheets stuck to my skin in a sweaty mess. Echo flew to me, he had been hovering a few feet away, frantic.
"Tessa?" He asked, worriedly. I struggled to catch my breath, raking my hands through my hair.
"I'm okay," I said after a while, "I just had a nightmare."
Still, Echo hovered closer to me, landing gently in my lap. He looked nervous, trying to figure out what to do, he hadn't known what I'd seen, he didn't know how to help.
"Do you want me to call Cayde?" Echo asked.
"What? No, no." I said, shaking my head, "What time is it?" I asked, my elbow was on my thigh, my head resting on my hand, looking down at Echo as he peered up at me from my lap.
"It's a little after three." He said, glancing at the window then back at me, "What was your nightmare about?" He asked, his voice soft.
"Death." I said after s while, lifting my head from my hand, "I saw myself, the Fallen were attacking me, tearing out my eyes, I could feel their little hands tearing all over my body, like claws–" I shuddered, feeling sick.
"I know how I died, but what happened after that? Did the fallen loot me? Steal everything I had?" I asked, looking over at Echo as he floated up from my lap, looking to be more eye level with me.
"I don't know." He said, "When I found you, only your skeleton was left. I brought you back as well as I could, I think I did a good job, but I've never seen a Guardian deal with this much grief. Your situation is different than most." He said, "But, I promise, I'm going to stay by your side. Until there's nothing left of either of us. We're going to live through this, the Fallen will pay for what they've done to you, won't they?"
I nodded, reaching out my hand, Echo landing in it. "They will." I agreed, smiling at him gently, "I'm going to get some sleep." I said, he nodded, raising from my hand and waiting for me to lay down before laying beside me, leaning on my stomach.
Echo fell asleep quickly. His light went dim and his machines turned to a soft, almost inaudible steady whir, in and out, as though he was breathing. I let the sound lull me to sleep, and this time, no nightmares came.
When I awoke again, light was pouring through the curtains in front of the window, outside I could hear the sound of birds chirping, singing softly to one another. I was laying on my back, Echo asleep on my stomach, still breathing softly. I was tempted to fall back asleep again, I didn't want to leave this comfort. But, finally, I picked up Echo from my stomach and set him down in the sun on the window sill, then headed off to shower.
Once I'd done that, I dressed in training gear and ate a large breakfast, Echo had woken up by then, and together we headed to the Hall of the Guardians to find Cayde or Ikora, both were standing at their usual table. Ikora saw me first, looking up and giving me a kind smile.
"I heard about what you saw on your mission yesterday," Ikora said, her smile fading, "I was sorry to hear it, are you alright?"
I nodded, "It wasn't a pleasant sight, but, I'm okay." I said, trying not to imagine Roxie's body. I glanced to my left, Cayde was studying his map intently, though I could tell he was listening. I cleared my throat after a few moments of silence, "Are we training today?" I asked.
Cayde looked up, then shook his head, "No, we've decided to give you the day off. I placed an order for that warp drive to get installed on your ship, so you can do whatever you'd like."
"Okay, thanks." I said with a nod, I moved to go, but Cayde reached out, concern flickering in his expression, his light soft.
"Hey," he said softly, watching me in worry.
"I'm okay." I promised, I was, but I didn't know how to convince him.
He watched me for a minute, his concern remaining but was joined by judgement, trying to see if I was telling the truth. Finally, he sighed and gave a small nod, his lights gradually going brighter. I gave a soft smile before heading off, leaving the hall, I felt their eyes on me until I climbed the stairs and headed up to the courtyard, out of sight. Once in the courtyard, I headed over to a tree in a patch of grass in between the gunsmith and the bounty tracker. I flopped down, leaning my back against the tree.
"Echo?" I asked, he appeared in front of me as soon as I spoke.
"Yes?" He asked, looking at me in question, his light was soft as well, as if he too was worrying over me. Was that s good thing? I thought it was supposed to be, my foster parents had worried over me a lot, but were Guardians supposed to be worried over?
"Why is Cayde going to such an extent to help me?" I asked, "I mean, I'm not upset about it, but he wouldn't be so kind to just anyone, would he?"
Echo seemed to frown, considering my words for a moment before he spoke, "Cayde and your mother were very close. My memory is fuzzy, but I think she asked him to take care of you. At the time he didn't know what she meant, I know that, but perhaps now he understands." He explained, "Your mother was confusing at times, even to me, but she always did things with a purpose."
I nodded, tucking a piece of hair that had slipped from my ponytail back behind my ear. I knew that well, looking back on everything she'd ever done towards me, the meaning was beginning to become clear, as though everything she had done was to teach me in some way. But what was the meaning of this? Why would she want me to be a Guardian?
"Other than that, Cayde hasn't been a Vanguard leader for as long as the others have, but once he became one he started become really protective of his hunters. If any Guardian were to hurt one of his outside of the Crucible they would be punished. Not only that but he makes sure they're all trained and that there aren't any careless mistakes. Since you're training so directly with him, his feelings of protectiveness might just be greater because he's getting to know you more." Echo said.
I nodded, though I was only half hearing what he was saying. I tried to focus on his words by my attention was slipping, my mind wandering in every direction.
Why me? Why would my mother pick me out of all the other people that were ten times more qualified. I thought back to my old friends and my breath hitched, growing up, I hadn't really had any real friends. My foster parents had worked in the space programs so we were constantly moving around to different bases for space travel. When the Collapse had hit, people tried to flee, my foster parents got us on one of the first ships to Venus, we were safe for a while, but I didn't have friends. The city we had lived in had been filled with scientists researching the environment of Venus, studying which plants and animals thrived, and which didn't. The only people who weren't scientists were people of the space programs who had landed a seat on the ships to escape the Fallen, or the rich people who had bought a seat.
Soon, we realized it wasn't better on Venus, it was worse, the Vex attacked us, they destroyed the city, we were only just able to get back to earth by a Guardian who knew my parents. We went back to the Cosmodrome only to find most of it was destroyed, refugees using whatever was left as bases. We soon joined a band of refugees headed for the Last City. Guardians had been trying to escort the refugees from all over the solar system to the Last City, the group we joined only had two Guardian escorts, most groups had at least ten, but we couldn't wait for any more. We made our way across the country, fighting fallen along the way, but loosing many. Despite the death and the terrible odds, I made friends, good friends. There were four of us in the group, an orphan from France who had been looking to flee from earth before he heard about the Last City. We had called him Raph, short for Raphaël, but he'd gotten tired of us not pronouncing it the correct way and went by Raph, He was 17 when I last saw him. Raph had always been kind, he spoke English fluently, but half the things he'd said had been in French. He'd always kissed peoples cheeks and comforted everyone when they needed it. He called us mon ami and other things that sounded genuinely nicer in French.
The other boy had lived like me, his parents had been in the space programs and he had been living on Mars for the past three years before he had been forced to flee. His name had been Mathew, but when we met him came with the strange nickname of Hercules. He never explained it to us, but we did end up making a nickname for a nickname and called him Herc. He lived up to his name, in a way, he was strong and kind, maybe even more so than Raph, but it was hard to tell. Despite being a hulky 18 year old that no one wanted to mess with, he liked fashion and the arts. He'd always tell us about how when we got to the City he would start up his own line of clothing that could have armor functions while still looking nice at the same time. He was always great with little kids, when any of them were scared, they'd run to him for comfort. He would call people 'beautiful' and 'honey' when they needed it and it never sounded patronizing. Not only that, but he had a great singing voice, he and a few others would sing to keep the group calm, when any of us had nightmares, he'd sing softly until we fell back asleep, even if it took hours.
Aria was the last person in the group, she had a better singing voice than Herc, which was amazing, sometimes, even hearing her speak could give people goose bumps. She always had a way with words, she was the one to go to for encouragement, thinking back, she was a bit like my mother. Aria had the nickname of Songbird, and it was fitting, she could sing like birds, beautiful and light sometimes, but also mournful and sad at other times. She was a better musician than Hercules, but it took her more persuading to sing. She was a lot more reserved than Herc and Raph, but we had never minded. Her voice was a gift and she wasn't ready to give it away to just anyone. She had been 17, like me and Raph.
We were on the run for months, in all that time, I didn't tell them about my real parents. When my foster parents had died, I retreated into a corner of myself worrying them at my lack of reaction. It had taken a lot of mon ami's and beautiful's to get me out of that corner. When I had gotten out I worried I'd never stop crying. I got so dehydrated I'd been forced to let Hercules carry me for the better of two days. He hadn't minded, in fact, he hadn't even let me walk when I had asked to the first day, he'd simply scooped me into his arms and carried me along without a word.
"Tessa?" Echo's voice drew me out of my thoughts, I realized I'd been staring into the distance for a while. "Are you okay?"
"I- uh, yeah. What do you think the odds are that we could get into the city?" I asked, looking over at him.
***
An hour later, I was walking down a main street in the City, frantically looking at shop names. Okay, that was an understatement, an hour later I was practically running down the street looking like the most frantic Guardian in training you'd ever seen, even if there was no contest. I was looking for Hercules's shop, his clothing store, surely it would be there, he had to have survived. He had to, they all had to, I wasn't ready to let them go. Then I saw it, I was sure it was him, in white, glowing cursive letters the sign above the store read le tissu d'amis or, the cloth of friends. I barely made it through the glass doors before my knees gave out. Looking up, between racks of clothes, I saw three people gathered around the counter, all eyes on me.
Aria sat on the counter, her raven black hair swept over her shoulder, she was wearing jeans and a black sweater, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Raph stood behind the counter, his hands resting on a device in front of him, he wore a white shirt, his curls pulled back in a tight bun. Hercules was leaning on the counter, a bandana around his head. His posture was relaxed, though he stiffened when he saw me. They watched me, only for a second before they all moved at once, Aria let out a strangled scream, leaping off the counter and darting forward. Hercules bolted after her and Raph vaulted over the counter, shouting something in French I didn't quite catch. Within a moment, we were a pile on the floor, crying and laughing at the same time. Hercules, as happy as he was to see me, was furious, demanding to know where the hell I'd been. It took forever for us finally separate and actually stand up, but Raph refused to let go of my arm, as if he thought if he let go I would vanish. Herc led the way back to the back of the shop, into a little break room, informing me that I looked too skinny and worrying at if I had been eating enough.
We sat on two couches in the break room, Raph and me on one and Herc and Aria on the other. They sat, waiting, watching me. I didn't know how to speak, my throat tightened, so I decided not to use my words, or at least not all of them at once. I held out my hand, Echo appearing above my palm. I heard my friends gasp, staring at him in awe. Echo slid closer to me, unfamiliar with the three leaning to get a good look.
"It's okay," I told the Ghost softly before addressing the group, "This is Echo." I said simply, glancing at the Ghost, "I have a lot of things I probably should have told you before."
"Mon ami, I believe that is a great understatement." Raph said, briefly taking his eyes off the Ghost for a moment to look me in the eyes.
And so, I told them, I told them about my real parents and how I'd lived with my foster parents all my life, I told them about how I had light in me and how when my mother had died she'd given hers to me. I'd told them about how I had died and how Echo had revived me. I told them about Cayde and Ikora and how they'd been training me. There were no secrets in our group, we knew each other too well for that, anyways. I started to tell them about the Guardian we'd seen, Roxie, but Echo suggested I didn't tell them, and Raph informed me that I looked sick and pale. Before I could tell them I was alright Herc was already getting me a cup of water.
When I'd finished speaking, I drank the cup of water Herc had given me, waiting for them to speak. When they didn't, I began to get nervous, biting my lip softly. Raph had let go of my arm by then and was now looking down at his hands, Aria was watching Echo, who seemed to be a bit more comfortable now than before. Herc finally broke the silence, clearing his throat.
"Do you want to be a Guardian?" He asked, his question taking me aback.
After a long moment, I nodded, "I think so? I don't know, I mean, now all I want to do is stay here with you guys, but if I'm not a Guardian than the city looses one more person that could be fighting for them."
"If you decide not to be a Guardian, what would happen to Echo?" Aria asked, finally speaking up.
I frowned, realizing I didn't know, I opened my palm, Echo drifting into it. "What would happen?" I asked him. He shifted, looking uncomfortable.
"Most likely, I would go out of service or try to form a bond with a new Guardian." He said, it was clear that the idea upset him, not to mention that I'd already chosen my path.
***
After that, we spent hours talking. Raph, Herc and Aria explained how they'd gotten to the city a little after I had died. They talked about how they'd all started school together, Aria was studying to be a musician, in one of the few music schools in the city, with top marks. Raph was studying arts like painting and fashion, working with Herc, who was studying business and fashion to run the little shop they'd started. With the money they got from running the shop, they lived together in an apartment. They'd told me about who in our group of refugees had survived, the numbers far lower than I had hoped.
It was Echo who finally reminded me that I had to train tomorrow, our voices were rough from speaking for hours and the sun had sunk below the horizon long ago. I didn't want to go, I was afraid that if I left they'd be gone. I tried to hug them goodbye, but I couldn't let go. I could tell I wasn't the only one, by the way they hugged me as tight as they could. I felt my hands shaking as I reached up to hug Hercules, I didn't want to loose them.
"Hey," It was Aria, her voice soft and gentle, but reassuring, "We'll be here when you come back. Just don't get yourself killed, okay?" She said, offering a smile.
"We can't loose you again, mon ami." Raph told me, I nodded and we all hugged again before I made myself walk out the door, promising myself and them that I would be back soon.
By the time we made it back to the Tower, it was after 11 o'clock and I was yawning and shivering. I made my way into the tower from the ground entrance, taking the long elevator ride up to my room. When we made it into the room I knew I wouldn't sleep, I wanted to be with them, all four of us laying in a heap at night, staring up at the stars overhead. I didn't care if we had to be on the run again, with them it was worth it.
I dressed in pajamas and crawled into my bed, but it felt to big, too cold and to soft, as if was going to sink into it. I chewed my lip, staring up at the dark celling for a long time, worrying about any possible thing that could happen where they might get hurt.
"Tessa? Are you alright?" Echo appeared above me, his lights, though he had dimmed them considerably, were bright in the dark room.
"I don't know." I said honestly, "I don't think I'm cut out for this. How can I defend the City from hoards of monsters when I can barely stand being away from my friends?"
Echo took a moment before answering, he seemed to do that a lot, making sure his words were measured and sure. "You love them, don't you?" He asked finally.
"Yes, more than anything in the world, they're all I have left." I said, "Besides you, of course." I added as an afterthought.
"So fight for them. Think about how many monsters you can fight on your own, and think about that many on the streets of their city. The number will go up the more you train, and the harder you fight, so the more you fight the safer they'll be." Echo said, "You can't give up. Your light is incredible, Tessa. Guardians have a lot more light than normal people, the amount of light I saw within you in the moment you saw your friends made Guardians look like normal people. It was love, you love them, and I saw it in your light. You can't give up something like that."
I thought about his words for a long, long moment before nodding, "Thank you, Echo." I told him with a soft smile, "I'll do it for them, but I'm also fighting for you. We're a team now. You aren't going out of service and you sure as hell aren't finding another Guardian while I'm around." I said, my lips lifting in a larger smile, almost a grin.
"Good." Echo said simply before tucking himself beside me and falling into a soft sleep. I grinned this time, laying down and closing my eyes again.
Author's Note.
So the pictures aren't mine, (obviously) and I'm going to start doing ones that are just random pieces of fan art that may or may not relate to the chapter, this one doesn't relate, by the way. So yeah. Comments would be appreciated.