Connie lay awake listening to the shrill droning of her alarm beside her. She rolled to one side slamming a hand silencing it before dropping backwards to the bed again. She made no attempt to move from the position but just lay there staring at the ceiling.
The thoughts drifting in and out of her head were debilitating. She no longer had the energy to get out of bed and go about her day, she didn't want to. Turning onto her side she let a delicate hand fall to the cold bed sheets. Her fingers ran across them as her eyes rested on the empty pillow.
Being at home was when it was worse yet she found being at the ED just as difficult for other,more obvious reasons. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she let them close gently, a few tears spilling over and staining her cheeks.
Connie remained still for a moment before taking a deep breath and getting out of the bed. She was in no rush to get ready as she began the daily routine she'd had for so long. Wandering into the bathroom she splashed some water over her face before reaching for the warm towel.
After drying her face she looked up into the mirror above the sink. She pushed onto the sink, resting most of her weight forwards as she stared at her reflection. It took her a while but after glancing across her features she shook herself out of her trance and returned to the bedroom.
Sometime later Connie was standing fully clothed before the mirror. The white blouse contrasted with the tight black trousers fitted tightly to her figure. Her hair bounced around her shoulders in varying curls while her makeup remained subtle.
The only sound to be heard through the house was the sound of her infamous heels coming into contact with the cold laminate floor. She wandered through the kitchen picking up her phone as she took a seat. Looking around the kitchen the house felt strangely empty.
Her phone screen lit up showing several messages and phone calls. Connie had ignored everything over the weekend after taking a few days off. Despite missing having Jacob around she didn't want to admit it out loud.
Connie skimmed through the texts Jacob had sent her before lifting her eyes and staring into space. She was bought back to reality when her phone began to go off once again. Connie, I know you've read my texts, just let me know you're okay please? x Sighing to herself she typed a blunt response. I'm fine.
She reached across the counter for her bag throwing her phone inside and headed for the front door. Outside the sun beat down over her as she climbed into the sleek silver car and drove towards the ED. Her radio played loudly as she drained out all sounds of the voices in her head.
Jacob stood leaning on the table of the staffroom staring at the response he'd received. "If someone close to you said 'I'm fine' would you believe them?" Ethan looked up from the sink towards Jacob. "Umm, I suppo-" "I mean it's obvious it's a lie, but what can I do if they won't admit it?"
Ethan stood slightly dumbfounded by Jacob before watching him turn his phone off and put it back in his locker. He wandered out into the department noticing Connie walk in the entrance. She was thumbing through the many letters she had just been handed from Noel when she sensed someone watching her.
When she lifted her eyes Jacob was standing some distance from her just watching. For a moment she wanted to walk over and talk to him but she soon stopped herself wandering into her office. Jacob bit his tongue before deciding to follow her closing the door behind him.
"Can we talk?" "We don't have anything to talk about, you said that yourself-" "Please?" Connie lifted her eyes before dropping the envelopes to the desk and folding her arms against her chest. "Make it quick I've got a lot to do without you standing here stopping me."
Jacob watched the icy exterior which she'd composed since the last time he saw her. "Is everything alright?" Connie laughed sarcastically before raising an eyebrow and looking at him. "Really? You're asking if everything is okay when you know perfectly well that everything is not okay."
He moved forwards but Connie made no attempt to get any closer to him. "Then talk to me-" "I don't have anything to say to you..." She picked up some folders and made her way around the desk heading for the door.
Jacob reached out catching her arm before she was out of reach. "Don't do this..." Connie looked back at him, her eyes glazing over with more unshed tears as his hand felt warm on her arm. "You already have. I need to go." She moved out of his grasp and continued out of the office leaving Jacob alone again.
Connie made it as far as the toilets before pushing the door closed behind her and leaning all her weight against it. She bent forwards resting her hands to her legs as she closed her eyes letting the tears fall. For once she'd felt safe but right now she didn't feel like she could ever trust him again.
He'd confused her more than anyone else ever had. Proposing and then leaving, how did that show her he'd always be there for her. Yet no matter what thought came into her head, she couldn't help feeling like she'd lost her last shot at happiness.