T O O C O L D O U T S I D E
Jack Frost's Point of View
[Trigger Warning: Mentions of Suicide and Death]
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I knew she was hurting. I could see it in her eyes. That night on a marvelous ice palace that stood atop the mountains, close enough to touch the northern lights.
And I knew I could never take away the pain. No matter what I told her, nothing will change. The people were afraid of their own queen. In fact, she was afraid of herself too. Reassuring words will never heal her. It wouldn't do a thing.
She didn't know she wasn't alone. She didn't know someone else had this curse like she did. I could see in her eyes that more than ever, she felt like she was not normal. A monster, that's what she thought of herself.
And I guess, as much as I wanted to tell her that wasn't true, nothing will make her believe that she had the right to feel free. Had the right to be queen and still have these powers. Had the right to have a family.
Had a right to be happy.
I let out a breath, leaning forward against the railings like she did. Wanting so bad to make her okay. To make her stop crying. To do something for her to be happy, even if it would last just one second.
But she did not see me.
Not that I expected her to. I was nothing but a spirit after all. Nothing but a stupid norse myth. Nothing but a dead boy who got reborn and turned into this winter guardian of some sorts.
I turned to look at the moon, glowing bright, its light cascading down on us both. Somehow, it was calming. It's glow was somewhat reassuring. As if the heavenly body would answer me, I began talking. "Man in the moon, why? Why do you do this to her? Don't you think it's unfair? She has a kingdom to rule, a sister who's gravely confused. And yet, you don't care, do you?"
It continued to glow a bright light, proving to me that the man in the moon didn't actually care at all. Enraged, I wanted to do something. But instead, I sighed, before letting it go.
What did talking to air do to fix anything, anyway?
I turned my back, deciding it was a better view. The castle she'd magically created stared at me and something in my chest ached, knowing that she thinks her powers were some sort of plague. But how could a plague create something so beautifully crafted? I would never know.
Suddenly, I heard her whispering something that sounded like a spell. I cocked my eyebrows in question and leaned in closer to understand. But what she was saying was definitely not a spell. In fact, it was worse.
"Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't f-feel." She breathed, clutching the railings of her palace tight that her knuckles had turned white.
I ran a hand through my hair. How do you take this pain away? How do you show someone so broken that everything will be okay? The answer should've been staring back at me by now, but I was still pretty lost.
If shutting herself out was her solution to this, then maybe I should just let her be. So I decided to stop bothering. To stop trying so hard in finding a way to end her misery. Instead, I decided to just linger next to her for a moment, to get lost in my own thoughts like she did.
I looked at her. She seemed to stop muttering the same sentence over and over, her grip on the railing loosening. Her eyes stopped flowing, the tears on her cheeks dried out. She looked somewhat peaceful. Like all the problems in the world didn't mean anything anymore. It was weird because a second ago she looked like broken glass. Now, she looked like the calm after a storm.
And that's when I realized what she was planning to do.
Instinctively, I tried to grab her. To shake her. To wake her from the storm swirling inside her head. But to no avail.
So instead, without really thinking it through, I created an ice slide as soon as she destroyed the railing and jumped off the ledge.
Her face showed confusion and question and so much more pain dur to the fact that trying to commit suicide did not work out well for her. Seeing her like this - broken beyond repair - I just wanted to scream until my throat hurt.
I chose not to, though, as I flew off the ledge and next to her in the snow once she finally landed from the slide. She was rubbing snowflakes off her dress, struggling to stand up, still wearing the bewildered and shocked look on her face.
She then stared at her hands, her eyebrows creased in question. Then she looked back at the ice slide, waving her hand and turning it into snowflakes, which slowly drifted onto us.
I knew she was hurting, but no one deserved such fate. And most importantly, what the hell would her sister think when she finds out that the only family she has left died by jumping out of her own ice palace?
She huffed, her confusion turning into frustration, suddenly yelling for what seems like the first time tonight. "Why?!"
She scooped snow from the ground below her, forming a ball and throwing it at her palace. "Why?!"
She kept throwing snowballs at the perfectly built castle, screaming why everytime. Instead of subsiding, her anger was growing. And that was scary.
After what seems like her 20th snowball, she began panting really really hard. Her hands flew to her heart and suddenly, without a single warning, ice shards begin to shoot out from her and with that, she screamed the loudest for the night. "WHY?!"
I knew the ice wouldn't have affected me, but I flew up really high and dodged it effortlessly. Then I went back to the ground, feeling the snow in between my toes.
The ice shards that flew out of her had seemed to freeze nearby trees and rocks, making them look more like ice statues than actual nature. It was strange, and for a moment I suddenly turned to one of her villagers - afraid of her.
But then I knew being in fear was no help for someone who was too afraid of her own self, that I immediately shook the awful thoughts out of my head and went to search for her.
It was slightly hard to find her and for a moment I thought that she had vanished, wiped out from the surface of this earth, but I found her as soon as the grim thought entered my head.
She was crouched down on the snow, eyes shut tightly, hands still on her heart. And for a moment I thought she was gonna get up, gonna go back to the balcony of the palace to jump again and live.
But what happened next broke my heart, because there she was, freezing and turning into an ice statue herself.
My eyes widened, and for a moment I myself felt frozen in place. I didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to help. Didn't know how to stop her from freezing completely.
And then, I decided best to let it go.
Because I knew that this was what she wanted. That leaving the earth was a hundred times better than living for another day to see the sun rise again.
So I stood completely still, until I was sure she was gone.
I didn't know what to do anymore. I obviously didn't have anything to stay for, so I flew away from the northern lights, far from the kingdom she ruled. I closed my eyes and flew as far as I could, trying my best to leave behind the pain I'd felt watching her die like that.
And once I opened my eyes, the same unmistakable calm she had once felt had taken over me. I knew for sure when I saw the moon, in it's brightest, gazing back at me and lighting up the dark night sky, that this was the happy ending.
Because for once, she was truly free.
Free from the burden of her powers. Free from the burden of her crown. Free from the never ending burden of her fear and her pain.
Now I know. Now I know that it has been always too cold outside for angels like her to ever take flight in this earth. But I also know that now, now she's flapped her wings. And now, she was soaring just like me.
T H E E N D
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A U T H O R ' S N O T E
First things first, I know this story was pretty bad and pretty negative and I also know that death is never the solution for any temporary problem. But Elsa had to die in this story or else the message of Ed Sheeran's song "The A Team" - which this one shot is inspired from - wouldn't be given justice.
Secondly, I know I said I was going inactive. And that is still true, but while I have too many ideas in my head, I think it's best that I write them down before they get lost.
I don't know if this will be the last one shot or not before I finally decide to fulfill my words and actually disappear for who knows how long. But I hope you guys know that even if it isn't as long as Two Lost Souls, it's still a Jelsa One Shot. One that took me like, an hour or two to write.
Also, feel free to correct my grammar please because I kind of feel like the grammar in this one shot is awful.
Anyways, I don't wanna waste more of your time by saying thanks even if I'd already stressed out how important you are to me in the last one shot. Surely, you guys know that already and I don't have to keep being a repetitive loser.
So that's all, I guess. Keep your eyes peeled for more one shots but at the same time, don't hope. I don't know if I'll be writing another or not.
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