I know this took a long time but I had a difficult time writing this. The expectations were pretty high for this chapter and I wanted to get it just right. I would love you so much if you commented and told me what you thought of it because I'm still not sure how good it is.
As always, thanks to everyone who voted and commented and fanned :)
Just to let you in on what was going on in my head, I was listening to the song "Breathless" by Taylor Swift while writing this because I wanted the end of this chapter to be like the song.
(p.s. sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes)
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Chapter 2
Evan’s POV:
I watched as her determined face froze as she looked around the room. Ok, now the rather hazardous state of my room is embarrassing. Her eyebrows rose as she took in my unbathed, lazy form sprawled across my unmade bed. She shook her head slowly as if she couldn’t really believe that I’d let myself go this far.
“What…” She trailed off looking around again. Sutton is honestly the last person I expected to see at my house, much less in my room. The last time I’d seen her she’d still been shut off from me. The memory made my mood turn bitter.
“What do you want?” I mumbled as I turned my face back to my pillow trying to calm my excited wolf.
“Evan, look at me.” I turned to face her, out of bewilderment more than just to grant her command. How dare she think she can just come barge in here and demand things of me when she’s been avoiding me for weeks.
“Who do you think you are?” In my slightly buzzed state, my anger seemed amplified. She flinched and I held back an apology.
“I just wanted to talk.” She said quietly. Oh now she wants to talk? I couldn’t help it; the pent up anger and frustration poured out of me.
“Sutton, what makes you think I want to talk to you? I’ve tried for 2 months! 2 months Sutton! That was 2 months that you could have decided to come and talk to me. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain. Yes I dated Sadie but it was for you! To protect you. I can’t tell you everything but believe me when I say, everything I’ve done was to protect you. And yet you can’t even give me the time of day to explain this to you. It’s like you only listen to things when you want to listen to them. Everything runs on your schedule and you know what, I’m sick of it! I’m tired of this push-pull relationship. It’s like I’m in a freaking circus with you! I’m getting whiplash here Sutton. Make up your mind because I’m not going to be here begging on my knees anymore. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure why you’re here because you’ve made it obvious that you hate the fact that I’m your mate. The both of us both know the only feelings you have towards me are repulsion and aversion. You don’t care. ”
My anger faded out as we lapsed into silence. I didn’t feel so buzzed any more. I hadn’t meant to tell her those things but a part of me was glad I had. Maybe I’d over exaggerated but she wasn’t the only one in this relationship. She didn’t just get to decide when we’d talk. I watched her face as my breathing returned to normal, watched as the shock wore off, leaving behind Sutton.
The shock wore away to reveal pain and confusion. Sutton’s face crumpled and I found a part of her I thought I’d lost. It was written so deeply across her face I don’t know how I never saw it. The first time I’d met her I’d seen an openness, a gentleness about her. During the last few weeks all I’d seen was a carefully composed girl, a carefully guarded Sutton. My words had stripped Sutton bare and left her with no choice but to be honest. And God was it written across her face. She still cared.
Under the iciness she’d shown there had been a girl that had cared, a girl that had shuttered every time she saw me because she knew the impact of her actions. She knew that her aversion to me was hurting me and she cared. Yet she refused to show it, because when I saw the shock fade from her, her vulnerability shown threw. Her timidness was etched in her face. Sutton had cared this whole time and yet the fear of getting hurt controlled her. I could see in her face that she’d been hurt by someone once and she had been determined not to let it happen again.
I was overjoyed to find all of these emotions on her face. Hurt that I believed the things I said, scared that I’d let her down, remorse for her actions. I could tell all of these things because we were mates. In the span of a second from when I’d finished my speech, a warm, deep feeling had overcome me and I felt, for the first time in a long while, I felt complete once again. Something had changed when I’d yelled at Sutton. The air was heavy with an unsaid apology towards each other. I don’t know how, but I knew that what she was going to say next was going to affect the both of us and whatever future relationship we had. My heart clenched at the thought of not having a relationship with Sutton. We would make it past this, I was sure. Sutton and I were meant to be together and I’ll be damned if something get’s in our way. I’d already forgiven Sutton for ignoring me, she’s my mate and it’s hard to stay mad at her. I was curious though as to what happened to make her suddenly so closed off from me. This whole thing with Sadie was more like a trigger. I don’t think Sutton would have shut down so fast unless there was something in her past.
I thought randomly about how Sutton could hurt me as much as she’d like and yet I was sure I would always be on my knees, still begging for her.
Sutton’s POV:
To describe the internal battle going on within me is impossible. I felt as if Evan’s words rendered my defenses useless, made me immobile and left me with nothing but blaringly loud honesty. Gone were my pretenses, gone was my ability to put up a wall between Evan and I. His warm gaze penetrated through me as he searched my face. I knew my emotions were clear, it was too hard to hide them right now. I concentrated a minute on my dilemma. Evan honestly believed that I didn’t care about him. What an absurd thought.
True I’ve done nothing to prove otherwise, but I’ve had my reasons. I’ve never been a naturally closed off person but Evan’s betrayal hit a chord to close to home for my liking. I missed Evan like crazy even though I’ve barely spent time with the guy, but when you know you know. It was time to come clean with him.
“Evan, there’s so many things you need to know before you can properly judge me and my actions.” I said wearily, eying him. Oddly, he looked relaxed and the way he was looking at me, I knew he was ready to hear what I had to say.
“You talk and I’ll listen.” He gestured towards a spot on the bed next to him but I shook my head. I don’t think I could sit still. I paced for a second and wrung my hands, not sure where to begin.
“I’ll just start off my saying that everything you said is wrong. And I know it doesn’t seem like it is but you have to understand. Evan I haven’t spent a lot of time with you but I’ve spent enough to know that I’m falling for you. And that scares me.” I took a deep breath and spoke in a rush, wanting to get it out. “Before you, I had this boyfriend. We’d been going out for almost two years and I thought I loved him. I mean our relationship wasn’t perfect but when it was good, it was good.” His face clouded over and I felt bad about having to tell him about my past relationship. I had to get this out though, it was why I was so guarded now. “But when it was bad, it was bad.” I told him. “I overlooked the bad because I knew that you can’t have a perfect relationship. There’s no such thing. I overlooked the fact that there were rumors always swirling about him and other girls, I actually defended him.” I laughed bitterly at my stupidity. “It wasn’t until I caught him with my best friend that I realized what type of person he was. And since then, I’ve been guarded with guys. I wasn’t with you at first because when I’m with you, I can’t help but feel safe and complete. That night though, when I heard you were still dating Sadie, it struck close to home and it reminded me of him. It brought my guard back up and I felt like it was happening all over again.” The last part flowed out quickly. “I know it seems like I think this all revolves around me but I don’t think that. I’m just terrified of getting hurt again but I know now that you wouldn’t hurt me. And I’m here now just to tell you that I do care. I care more then you’ll ever know. I don’t know how Evan, but you’ve gotten under my defenses and you’ve wiggled your way into my heart. Evan I’m sorry and you have to understand that I’m pretty sure I’m falling for you.”
There. The ball was in his court now. I’d made my case. I was one of those basket case girls because I’d been hurt before and I’d promised myself that would never happen to me before. I waited in silence as Evan looked at me, soaking in my words. My heart was pounding and a part of me was terrified that he’d reject me. He has every right to though, I reminded myself sadly. It had been a few minutes and he still hadn’t said anything. My heart sank, he can’t find the right words to turn me down.
“Ok, I guess your silence says it all. I’ll just be going then.” I said softly. Tears threatened to fall and I turned to go. He was up in one moment and in the next I was thrown onto the bed. Before I could even process what was going on, his lips pressed down hungrily onto mine. My heart melted and I eagerly returned his kiss.
This time our kisses were different, slower and sweeter. The last time we’d been greedy and passionate, and we still were, just this time it was slow building. The passion was there, but a gentleness was present too. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, wrapped up in each other’s embrace on his bed, and I can’t tell you how long we kissed, but I can tell you that it was one of the most enjoyable moments I’ve had so far. He pulled back breathless and his blue eyes softened as he gazed at me.
“Sutton, I’ve already fallen for you. You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to tell me these things. I can promise you I won’t ever hurt you again. There are things I’m not telling you but you have to trust me.” He said quietly. His forearms were on either side of my head, carefully supporting him. The rest of his body was pressed against mine, our body heat mingling. I nodded at his unspoken question. Yes, I trusted him.
He leaned into me and resumed our kiss and for a while I lost myself in the feel him. The silky feeling of his hair, the strong muscles of his arms, the warmth emanating from his body. I lost myself to the feeling of his touch and his woodsy scent. I lost myself in my mate. After a minute or so, I pulled back, dizzy from the passion.
“Not that I’m not enjoying this, but go shower. You stink.” I teased. He chuckled and tightened his grip on me, leaning down to kiss into oblivion yet again.
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Sooo, was it a disappointment? Please let me know what you think.
And the end of this chapter was inspired but the chorus of "Breathless". In case you haven't heard it, I'll tell you what it is.
"That when you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless"