"No, Stark. We don't have a bathroom. There's a corner we shit in with a little bucket and some toilet paper, but no, no bathroom."
"That's highly unsanitary; you should get that fixed," he offhandedly repartees, not even awaiting for me to invite him in as he rudely slides through the gap between my body and the wooden doorway, sauntering into the apartment as if he owns the place.
Pushing through the sarcasm that veils my perplexity, I not so kindly slam the door in mild frustration – with a pinch of happiness – and ask one word. "How?"
"Call a contractor or something," he gestures about with one hand, other hand casually rested in his finely ironed pocket. "I know a few good contractors and builders who can have a bathroom built in within the week. Hey Sparky, how's the daddy issues? Still trying to convert you to the dark side?" Tony's free hand comes to rest on Sam's shoulder, whilst Sam's mouth seems to resemble one of the clowns you would find at the carnival where you try to toss a hacky sack or ball into its mouth in order to win a prize.
"I – uh –Doom – he – what?" Sam barely wheezes out, eyes skimming between Stark and I, pleading to me 'Lillyhe'syourbillionairefixthisalreadybecauseI'msofreakingcluelesswhaattttt'.
My eyes roll. "I wasn't talking about—ˮ
"Who are you?" Stark intervenes yet again, brows in a tangled knot as he points expectantly at Adelaide. Adelaide seems to be unable to register the bewildering situation, her mouth prominently ajar and blankly blinking at the philanthropic super hero occupying out lounge room.
"Tony—"
"Ah wait, you're Adelaide Nightshade right? One of my employee's distant cousin's uncle's friend's mother in law twice removed is one of your patients. Rick or Randy or Roland or something," the Tin-can man babbles on, relieved with the answer for only a moment before curiously turning back to Addie and inquiring "You're nineteen aren't you? Did Shady get impregnated by Spangles and have you on Asgard but Asgardian years just so happen to pass quicker than earth years? Wait no, Ralph or whatever his name is mentioned you had an older sister. Sister?" And he spins back to me. "I thought you said mummy dearest passed in childbirth? I know you're an assassin Shady but lying to me—"
"STARK!"
There's a pause.
"I do still need to use the bathroom."
"For Christ's sake!" I exasperate, throwing my hands up in defeat. "Down the hall, second door on the left. Try not to clog the plumbing while you're in there, you did last time."
"Last time?" Sam and Addie incredulously repeat in unison, garnering a dust off from me paired with a simple reply of "In Alabama with Ally."
"No promises. Be right back. Try not to miss me too much," Tony power walks off, his pristine, aristocratically clothed back disappearing down the short hall.
When a heavy silence descends upon the room, only momentarily interrupted by the echoing sound of the bathroom door clicking shut, my thoughts eventually manage to gather themselves and process the impossible situation.
Tony Stark is in my bathroom. And he remembers me.
******
"Wait, so how is she alive?"
The four of us are congregated around the white kitchen island bench; Twinning's Irish Breakfast tea in my tired hands, coffee in Adelaide and Sam's soft palms, and of course, the typical rusty bronze coloured whiskey in Stark's loose grip.
I drowsily exhale, my fingers wrapped around the mug attempting to capture the warmth seeping from the steaming drink. "We don't know. Lucas thinks that some of my mother's ovaries could have been frozen before she passed giving birth to me, and that maybe Loki found some voodoo, hoodoo Norse magic to stimulate the egg for nine months after adding his own sperm to the mix without needing mum at all. Otherwise we're clueless, but Lucas also ran some blood tests, and we are sisters, so it's not just speculations."
"Right, so I leave you for eight months and you almost get turned into a magical all-powerful space stone, obtain an impossible younger sister, get tortured by your wack-job dad who actually turned out to be an all-evil alien overlord hell bent on ruling over everything in existence, annndd you get a belly piercing, a haircut and two tattoos like a rebellious teen, practically giving daddio and Capsicle the middle finger whilst doing it," Tony rushes out like a never ending waterfall, appearing unfazed by it yet slightly dazed. "Do you see why you need me in your life? You know what, just for getting two tattoos, you're grounded young lady. Go straight to your room with no dessert."
I snort, idly sipping the relieving beverage in my perfectly manicured hands. "Piss off dad, I'm twenty five. I can get a couple tattoos if I want to."
"She got shot last night as well," Adelaide chimes in, smirking cheekily when I throw her a scathing look and Stark stares at me bewilderedly. I guess that's payback for ignoring her when she warned me not to get into any troublesome situations. Well played Addie, well played.
"I'm sorry, you got shot? Where? By who? I'll get him fired, evicted, buy him out and build a library or an orphanage on where his house use to be," Stark frighteningly seriously threatens, unblinking eyes hammering down on me for answers.
I momentarily caustically glimpse at Adelaide in the corner of my eyes. "Mob boss' son. Don't worry, friend of mine took care of it, and on top of that the Horsemen are taking caring of it."
"You're buddies with them as well?" He accusingly butts in, seeming more than a tad peeved. "You don't happen to be penpals with the President or have gone through time with the Doctor while you're at it, have you?"
"A lot happens in eight months Tony," I try to reason, shrugging feebly. "But I've answered your questions and given you a full run down of what happened to me in those eight months. So, Mr. Stark, what pray tell happened to you? How are you the only one – besides the Horsemen – to remember us?"
"Well as you know it wasn't always like that," he staidly begins, his chiselled, goatee jaw clenching and causing a vein to jump temporarily. "I didn't go down the bottle like last time, but the lot of us stopped searching for you after three months. Fury reasoned that our lives couldn't revolve around it; that soldiers will fall and be lost on the battle field or some kind of sappy crap like that. Reluctantly the others did return to their bland, repetitive lives. I of course kept Jarvis alert twenty-four-seven for even the slightest hint of you or HYDRA on the radar. Meanwhile, Cap got up to a lot while you were gone. Didn't pay much attention to it all, but there were murmurs about him teaming back up with his World War II boyfriend and some top-secret species called the Inhumans. A lot happened, but I wasn't in the loop."
"Inhumans?" I mimic, puzzled. "Never heard of them."
He scoffs. "Yeah that's kinda the point of the whole 'top-secret' thing. Everything was kicking into a regular cycle of life by the five month mark, until I wake up one morning and have a Back to the Future moment where it's 2014 and Jarvis nor anyone I know seems to remember who you are or even realize we've gone back in time four years. I would say I've lost a few age marks but I never had any." He gingerly swipes his fingertips across his cheeks, preening like a cat.
"But why you?" I desperately ask no one in particular. "Why not Fury, or Steve or some random on the streets. I mean, it's not like you've alternate universe jumped before—"
"Uh, yes I have."
I blink. "You what now?"
He seems pretty damn pleased with himself, catching me off guard. Smug bastard. "Remember when I made you that amazingly horrific machine that created World War III in my science lab? Between all your favourite fictional characters?"
I internally face palm. Of course, he had to tap into the Crossroads to be able to create that breach, and therefore bring all the alternate universe characters to our realm. An affectionate, amused smile plays at the corners of my mouth. That was possibly one of the craziest yet most enjoyable days of my life, and we all know how crazy my life has become. Crazier than Loki's brain, which Green Machine so eloquently described as 'A bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.'
Thanks Brucie, I'll be sure to inscribe that on his tomb stone next time I see him, because after the little talk we're going to have, he'll be needing one.
"When did this happen? When did I miss this? Why did I miss this?" Sam word blurts, panicky. His eyes narrow into fine slits at me, as if I'm somehow responsible for his lack of presence at the time.
"The same machine that made you aware of the multiverse and even momentarily fabricated a breach between all the required universes," I exhale out, ignoring Sam with my mug temporarily resting on the bench, my hands rub weary circles on my face.
"And bingo was his namo," Stark affirms, oblivious to the muffled, incoherent retort I mumble into my hands. 'That's my line you douche nozzle. I said it first chapter of the first book'.
I roll my shoulders in attempts to rid my body of some pain, only for it to be in vain. The tattoos are sore and tender, my bullet wound a thousand times worse. No matter how many times I've been shot, it always feels like fire is licking and devouring my skin when a bullet lodges itself into me. And I know what fire feels like; I can control the damn thing for crying out loud.
"I think we need to start figuring out where we go from here," Adelaide speaks up, tone mellow and benign. "Because you're struggling with a normal life, Lilly. Mr. Stark –"
"Mr? I'm not that old."
" – recognising you is going to make it that much harder. But on a lighter note, I think your Borderline Personality Disorder was only a temporary thing. Since you've come here you've shown no signs of it, only the occasional sociopathic moments, but you make up for those with heartfelt, emotional times, like something out of the Notebook."
"Funny, Addie. Real cute," I bite, referring to her last mocking remark. "And we can still go back to the way things are—"
Tony bristles, nearly choking on his booze. "No you can't, we have to get everyone to remember you. Captain Nightshade won't just fix itself you know."
My eyes bulge. "Captain Ni—"
"Actually, there's a new ship now," Sam intercedes, thoroughly enjoying himself. "Winter's Nightingale. It's Lilly and James Buchanan Barnes, and the two seemingly have a history."
Stark gasps overdramatically. "You mean Cap's old boyfriend?" Tony throws me an impish, suggestive glance. "Naughty girl Shady. It's clear you have a type. Senior citizens who take Pilates." He's the epitome of playful, and behind his sarcastic mask you can tell he's effervescent. Then suddenly, he dips into a drop-dead serious tone with a near-threatening look pitched towards Sam. "But Captain Nightshade is the only real ship."
"Like hell it is," Sam defensively gets riled up, disregarding his now cold cup of coffee. "First off, they're both assassins. That's already perfect enough. Secondly, they have some kind of weird psychic connection where they've been feeling what each other are feeling and reliving their memories together. Which Lilly mentioned when we were narrating the past eight months to you—"
"But Shady and Spangles have already done the whole 'professing my love to you' thing, and they've made out. It was pretty steamy," Tony just as defensively retorts, poised for a shipping war.
"Tell me this isn't happening," I plead Addie, motionlessly standing beside her with a face devoid of any emotions as I observe the heated yet comical exchange between the two squabbling men.
I can feel her entertained grin without having to even look at her. "I'm your younger sister, it's my job to be the annoying one, and Stark is putting me out of said job. What would I be charged with for dropping a multi-billionaire super hero off the Empire State building without his suit?"
I guffaw. "Probably nothing. Heck, the President may give you a hand shake and the key to the country for doing it."
"Alrighty then, go get the chloroform and a rag big sis," she mischievously requests, a contagious beam lighting up the room. "But on a more serious note, I think you should spend some time with Tony. Maybe go get some dinner with him or something. Hear his side of the argument. Have a personal one-on-one conversation. It would do you good," Addie advises, a compassionate spark flaring in her eyes, caressing my own gaze fondly.
My reply is quiet, unsure. "You think so?"
"I know so," she confirms, adding on as a lighter thought "I'm a psychologist for a living Lilly, I may be young and can't officially run my own practice – only work in a low key public one – but I'm experienced enough. After everything I've been through, I know how the mind works."
I narrow my gaze suspiciously when she's not looking, my brain twisting and convulsing with theories. She still hasn't mentioned anything about her past. Not a scrap. Only ever talked about our mum, which is in itself rather peculiar. How did she know so much about mum even though she never met her? I can't push her for anything, but I sure as hell won't stay in the dark about it any longer. It may have been a sign of courtesy on Asgard to not ask about each other's context, but we're siblings now, having lived together for three months. Surely I deserve to know about her past, she knows enough about mine. The only thing she doesn't know is my childhood. And I'd prefer to keep it that way.
"—is the only one who Cap would willingly lose his virginity to, and he's in the Guineas Book of World Records as 'oldest virgin in the history of virgins who could literally have any girl he wants but will only have his old assassin enemy'." My ears discern Stark's voice even when I'm day dreaming, and due to his recent comment, I finally take it upon myself to rightfully intrude. "Okay ladies, I'm cute with both of them, I get. Stop arguing." I huff silently, jokingly uttering under my breath "May as well have a threesome if it means they'll shut up."
"But he started it," Sam whines, accusingly pointing at Tony.
Tony gapes at him. "Did not—"
"Tony, wanna go for a walk? Maybe get some dinner out? Spend some quality time with my best friend?" I hasten to inquire, hope slithering its way into my tone.
"Hey!" Sam pouts, rather childishly. "I thought I was your best friend."
"I can have two," I justify, slyly manoeuvring around the counter to warmly side hug him.
He puffs, feigning a glum expression. "Yeah yeah, now you're all huggy and touchy feely."
"Suck on that Sparky, she's my best friend," Tony sticks his tongue out, startling me by ripping me from Sam's grasp by the elbow and rushing to tug me towards the front door. "And she's mine for the night. I'll return her at some point, because I have a feeling that evil sister of hers will hunt me down, skin me and use me as a rug if I don't."
Addie doesn't say anything, just unnervingly smiles.
I barely manage to swipe my black trench coat from the weapons, scarfs and coats rack, staggering as Tony throws open the door with a newfound determined flare and enthusiastically pulls me with him. My carefree laughter dances in the air, and I hardly manage to squeeze out a goodbye to Adelaide and Sam before the door ungracefully slams behind us. "Where are we even going?" I ask him, allowing him to continue the dragging because it's my non-tattooed, bullet wound-less arm he's hauling me by.
I can't see his face, but I can feel his satisfied expression. "Ever tried shwarma?"
******
My feet are resting in his lap comfortably whilst the rest of my body is sprawled across his lavish and no doubt expensive black leather couch. We got this unheard of 'shwarma' as takeout and returned to Avengers tower, which is still being renovated and constructed. It's practically completed, but there are floors and rooms still under vigorous construction. On the top floor, I take another avid bite of the delightful dinner, savouring the last of my shwarma as Tony divulges his tale animatedly.
"—as a joke said I would sell the company and start up a rock band. She almost ripped my goatee off for that one."
I giggle delightedly, having to wait for the sniggering to die out before I take another swig of Stark's Johnnie Walker bottle. "I like this Pepper you speak of. You have to introduce us sometime."
"She's a busy woman, running Stark Industries all by herself... with Jarvis and a few thousand employees," Tony gestures about, pinching the bottle and gulping down a few mouthfuls frivolously. "But seeing as how you're the two important women in my life, I'll make sure it happens. So long as the two of you don't scheme against me. One of you I can barely handle, but both of you plotting my indefinite demise? I would have to sell everything I have and move somewhere nobody thinks still exists, like Alaska or something."
"Okay first, despite being in this weird new merged universe of ours, I'm pretty sure Alaska still exists," I snicker, tossing the wrappers the shwarma was encased in on his glass coffee table heedlessly. "And second, I would never team up against you." As I talk, I swiftly swing my feet from his lap to settle on the smooth flooring, scooting closer until my hip juts into his. Draping an arm around him, I squeeze him into the full, side on hug, assuring "Where would I be without my favourite billionaire anyway?"
"You're mushier than I remember," he observes, but doesn't shy away from the display of affection.
I jeeringly shove him, feeling the slight affect of the alcohol grasping my conscience. "Shuddup, I haven't seen you for eight months, and I thought I never would again. Let me have my mushy moments."
There's a very brief chuckle on his behalf, before he derisively surrenders "Okay okay, just don't break my nose. My face is too pretty for that."
"Mmm don't tempt me."
A serene, inviting silence envelops the room like a warm hug, not even partially disturbed by the outside ruckus. Casting my gaze to the tremendous window wall surrounding the sophisticated viewing platform, I take in the entrancing sight of New York City at night. The lights almost make it look like a painting. A pitch black canvas speckled with endless assortments of yellows, oranges, reds and a few blues, greens and violets here and there, some in the form of lines, squares and dots, others blurred into indiscernible shapes and zigzags. The stars can hardly be seen from all the light radiating from each building, as if New York City was its own sky with its own abundance of infinite stars. It's times such as these that tuck themselves into the furthest regions of your mind, only resurfacing as welcome memories in times of adversity and need.
I can't help but feel bothered though. Bothered by one stupid question. One question that has haunted me for over three months straight.
"Speaking of childhood and pasts, did you ever tell any of them the truth about your past? Does anyone know but the good Director and Allison?"
My eyes clam shut firmer than a crocodile's jaws, trying with all my might to force the relentless memory from my mind forever. My past is my past; no one else needs to know about it. The orphan turned assassin story is good enough as it is.
But... now that Fury has forgotten who I am... no one knows about where I came from. No one knows why I am who I am. Not truly. They only know of my parentage and the vague conditions I was raised in. Do they need to know? And who exactly is 'they'?
"Something wrong Lilly?"
Startled, I dazedly peek up at Tony, humming a faint "Hmm? Oh, no. Just got a thousand and one thoughts buzzing in my brain at the moment. So much going on..."
"Well I may not be Dr. Phil, nor offer the most qualified advice, or even offer any kind of good emotional support in the first place – but I am very good at remaining quiet while you can babble about all you problems."
My face falls flat as I deadpan "No you're not, you're mouth moves faster than the speed of light. I would be surprised if you had an off or a mute button at all."
"Okay yeah I talk a lot," he admits shamelessly, arm amply lying across the back of the couch. "But I've talked all night, especially about Pepper. So it's your turn, and don't be shy about saying anything. It's me, your friendly neighbourhood billionaire."
I snort down my amusement, legs curling up underneath me on the couch as I lean into Tony. Should I tell him? If I was going to tell anyone, it would probably either be him or Sam. Maybe Addie if she felt like sharing her own story in return.
A large inhale drifts into my lungs, my chest feeling like its caught in the middle of a vice as it clamps down and flattens it into a pancake. I'm gonna tell him. I have to tell someone, or Thanos' question is going to haunt my ass for the rest of my days.
"I... lied," I steadily breathe out, staring across the lounge room and at the wall instead of meeting his own pressing gaze. "I lied about my childhood, how I grew up... the circumstances of it all. Everything about it, practically."
I can sense his eyebrows lifting. "Well I guess that's understandable, you must've had a pretty crap childhood to have ended up where you are now. And Cap and the others would've just pressed you for what happened, so a lie is the only logical path for you to have taken."
I stare dumbfounded at him. "You're not going to be all pissy with me and threaten to send me to bed without dessert?"
He scoffs. "We all have lies and secrets Shady, some aren't for good reasons, others are. Yours is, like I said, it must be pretty demented for you to have ended up here."
"Thanks," I drawl, but not-too seriously. "It's just been bothering me that no one knows besides Ally and Nicky—"
"Wait, One Eyed Wonder knows?" Stark bristles, stiffening slightly. "Turns out I wasn't joking when I said his secrets have secrets."
"He's the one who got me out of the tough situation Tony, so yeah, of course he knows," I defend Fury, tracing designs delicately on his thigh. My breath waits in my throat, refusing to come up or go back down. God I'm being such a wuss. This fucking ridiculous. This is Stark we're talking about. Not Thanos. Not Loki. Not Simon Zackery. But Tony Stark. I can trust him.
"I guess it's best to begin at the beginning," I murmur, a fire of fresh valour swarming within me. "Birth."
Ommmmggggggggggggggggggggggggg I'm less than 50k reads away from a MILLION FREAKING READS ON FFTE PEOPLE! Is this how YouTubers feel when they reach a million reads? Well, when they're close to reaching a million reads? Dammnn, maybe I should be a YouTuber XD
Next chapter is mighty important, because it's the truth about Lillian's childhood and how she really met Ally, etc. I was originally gonna pull a Joker and just constantly have her make up different backstories while no one knows what actually happened to her as a kid besides Fury and Ally, but then I came up with this a while back and it really intertwines with the prequel of her in Budapest, so I stuck with it. Hope you enjoy!
Oh, and I wanna get to know you guys a little more, so I'm taking my instagram off private for a bit so you can follow me and I can follow you back! What about Snapchat? That as well or just instagram? Let me know your thoughts below. My instagram name is tara_lyall (original, I know).
QOTD (because I keep forgetting these): Do you speak more than one language?
AOTD: Yes. I speak fluent English but I also know bits and pieces of Japanese and I'm learning Spanish. Yay!
Thanks for reading and that's all for now, bye! :) xxx
~ T.L