Chapter 18
"Uhm..." I shifted my weight from my left foot to the other. Sheez, why am I fidgeting? Kung kailan naman kami nagbreak ni Drake at saka ako kinabahan sa kanya! Before, yeah, looking at him makes my knees go weak pero never akong nakaramdam ng takot. I'm scared. Freaking scared for myself.
He looked at me, his scrutinizing stare never leaving my face.
"Same old Alys," he whispered but I heard him, still. "Let's go to our next destination?" he said.
I stared at him with disbelief evident on my face. Yun na yun?! I mean, halos hindi na ako huminga para magkasya sa gown ni Cristine tapos SAME OLD ALYS?!
Tumingin ako sa babaeng nag assist sa akin and I politely asked her to leave.
"Drake, what are we doing?" I asked him with utmost sincerity. I know deep down na I'm cheating on Tripp. I'm not naive. Alam ko sa bawat pag-alis ko na hindi ko sinasabi sa kanya na si Drake ang kasama ko, I'm breaking his trust. I'm slowly but deliberately breaking the trust he has given me.
He took a step closer and leaned in. He kissed my forehead.
"What are we doing, Alys?"
Hindi ko alam pero bigla na lang tumulo yung luha ko. Why the hell is everything so confusing?! I'm perfectly fine with my life. I love my life as it is. Call me a coward but I loathe every complication, every freaking mishap that has happened in my life. I like my life simple and predictable. That's just who I am. I don't do complications but since I met Drake? Complication has taken its place as my middle name. And it sucks. And I hate it.
His hands found its way on my face. He was caressing my face the same way he did years ago. Years ago, Alys. Years ago.
I slapped his hands. "F-uck off, Drake."
He was taken aback by the hostility I have shown him. "Yes, Drake. This is who I am. Hindi na ako yung Alys na kilala mo dati. I curse, I drink, hell, I gamble when I want! I grew up, Palma! You left me to freaking grow up, hindi ba? Now, look at me! I grew up and I don't want you anymore. Please, please. Tigilan mo na ako... Please don't start where we left off because I don't want to start over. I want to continue my life as it is."
What he did? He stood there. He stood there and looked at me. He placed his hands inside his pocket and smiled at me.
"I'll take whatever you are, Alys. Don't belittle what I feel for you. Childish or not, you're still Alys Zyril Ferrer-Perez."
I took a step forward and slapped him. And slapped him.
"Ayoko na sa'yo! What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you obsessed with me?!"
I tried to slap him for the third time but he caught my hand and placed it just above his heart.
"Feel that, Alys? That's the heartbeat of the man who's obsessed with you. You made me your dog! Throw me a bone and I'll catch it for you. You made me yours, Alys. Deal with it."
I punched him in the gut. Screw you, Drake! Going back to the Philippines is the worst thing I did in my life! I just wanna crawl back to Paris and snag my quiet life back.
Right now? I feel all those complications coming back... and I don't quite like it. Tonight I'm coming clean. Ayoko na mag-away kami ni Tripp. I can't lose him... hell, I don't wanna lose him.
I glared at him. "Binabalik ko na yung puso mo, Drake! Fall for anyone but me. Please lang. Wala kang mapapala sa akin."
"You make me happy so I'll stay."
Another tear fell from my eye. No, it's not pain. It's tear of annoyance. "You disgust me, Drake."
There. I left him while I went out to hail a cab. The hell I care kung naka wedding gown ako. I'm pissed!
--
"Whoa." Napatingin sa akin si Tripp with his eyes wide open. "Magpapakasal ba tayo ngayon, Panget?" he asked with disbelief.
"Ha-ha-ha."
He grinned and pulled a chair for me. "Bakit nga? Run away bride? Sabi naman sa'yo wag kang manood ng movies, e."
Umupo ako at kinuha ko 'yung unopened bottle of water sa lamesa niya. Nandito ako sa bahay nila ngayon. Hindi ko kasi alam kung saan ako pupunta. I can't go home, nandun si Dane and I hate explaining complicated things to my brother. Wala si Aya, wala si Tofer.
"Tripp..."
"Hmm?" he asked while still staring at me.
I was gonna come clean and tell him about everything but I decided na mamaya ko na sabihin. "I'm wearing a gown and you... well, you look decent enough. Where's my ring?" I asked while my eyebrow is arching up.
Slowly, a chinky grin appeared. "Nagpopropose ka ba sa akin, Perez?"
"Duh?"
Lumapit siya sa akin and kissed me softly. "Kakausapin ko muna si Tito Cyriel. Wag kang atat."
"Atat. Big word coming from you!" I said then laughed. Siya nga 'tong palaging nagpopropose, e. Not serious, tho. He was being playful all the time whenever he visited me. Nagpropose na yata siya in every place imaginable. Whenever he feels like it, he's gonna drop on his knee. Seriously, the first time he did that, muntik na akong maniwala!
He then enveloped me in a hug. "Magpoproppose naman ako, hindi lang ngayon. Chill ka lang, Perez."
I decided to let it go. I know he won't propose anytime soon kasi napag-usapan na namin 'to. He's still working and I'm still building my name.
"So, bakit ka nga naka wedding dress?"
"Preview lang para sa'yo. Ang ganda ko, no?"
He frowned. I slapped his arms.
"Oo na, ang ganda mo."
"Napipilitan ka lang niyan?" I asked while my eyes are doing this 'matakot-ka' thing. Sabi kasi ni Tofer I look scary when I stare. Sabi naman ni Tripp, hindi raw. Tripp and Tofer? Mababaliw ka pag kasama mo sila, swear!
He chuckled and kissed me again. "Hindi. Ang ganda mo. Sobra pa sa sobra."
And there... who ever said that life with Tripp is boring?
Nagbihis ako ng damit ni Tripp (he likes it when I wear his shirt) na pinahiram niya sa akin. It still fits me! Yung Batman shirt na pinahiram niya sa akin once? Nung nasa NY pa kami, minsan iyon ang pantulog ko. Madalas kasi akong mag overnight sa kanila. Wala kaming ginagawang masama, no! Movie nights and such. Busy kasi lagi si Kei so si Tofer and Tripp madalas kasama ko.
I also wore his boxer shorts. And it feels... weird. Weird in a good way, tho. Ang igsi sa akin! Para akong naka microshorts. Mabuti na lang mahaba yung shirt niya.
Napangiti si Tripp ng makita niya ako. See? When you want to cheer him up, all you gotta do is wear his shirt. Ang dali niyang pasiyahin.
"Alam mo..." he said as I snuggled close to him. "Pag nakita tayo ni Dad dito, iba ang iisipin niya."
I chuckled. "Yeah, right. As if, Tripp."
We cuddled for a couple of minutes and then nagluto kami ng sabay. First time lang yata namin matahimik ng ganito, palagi kasing nandyan si Tofer to ruin our peaceful day.
"Bakit ka nga naka wedding gown?"
Sheez, I almost forgot about that.
"Uhm, Marco?" I said, hesitating for a moment. Ayokong mag-away kami pero mas mabuti na na sa akin manggaling kaysa sa iba, di ba? "Drake... hmmm."
I seem to caught his attention ng sabihin ko yung Drake.
"I'm sorry, Marco, pero si Drake yung groom ni Cristine. Promise, I didn't intend to spare you from the details pero ayoko kasi na mag-away tayo. Please don't be mad?" I said without even hitching a breath.
He was silent for a second.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath. "I trust you."
"Talaga?"
He held my hand and enclosed it with his. "I trust you so much, Alys. I don't trust Drake."
I smiled at him pero ang totoo, I'm sad. They're are cousins pero hindi sila nag-uusap. I'm not saying na mababaw ang pinag-awayan nila pero... they're cousins! Kahit pa sabihin na ako yung dahilan, I can't fathom na forever silang magkakaroon ng gap because of me! It feels like a heavy burden.
"Hindi na ba talaga kayo mag-uusap ni Drake?" I asked him, even nudging him to give it a shot.
He shrugged. "Two years, Alys. Niligawan ba kita sa loob ng two years? Hindi, di ba? Naghintay ako ng two years bago kita niligawan tapos pagbibintangan niya ako na inagaw kita? No. Hindi kami mag-uusap."