Dedicated to instereo4325
My name is Paige.
I sort of like Newt. I mean, he's very attractive and it is so very hard to resist his charms so the moment I landed here at the Glade, I promised to myself that I will get his heart, no matter what.
Well, I don't know if he likes me back, but maybe he likes me but is just too scared to say it because he thinks I like another Glader.
Like Thomas, or Minho, or Ben, or Winston. . or everyone.
Last week, Winston said he likes me. That shocked me really.
These past 3 days, three, maybe four Gladers admiited that they liked me. One who's name is Carl even tried to kiss me.
Everyone in the Glade looks up at me and they always say I'm beautiful.
No, no kidding. Really, they said I'm very beautiful but. . I really kinda don't know if I should accept their compliments.
I don't want someone saying that to me unless it was Newt.
God, I like this guy.
But today, he's not here by my side.
He's flirting with someone.
The new girl Greenie, Briana.
And I'm kind of jealous.
When I tried to divert my gaze to the other side of the Glade, on that tree where all the Gladers rest and take a nap after work, they were all looking intently at me.
My god, stop it. It actually disgust me a bit. Why can't they just check out the new girl? I want Newt to check me out.
And so I bring back my gaze to Newt and the girl.
They were laughing, laughing at something! And I really can't handle the overflowing feeling of jealousy I'm feeling right now so I decided to talk to them.
But just before I step my right foot, someone grabbed my right arm causing me to jump a bit.
I turned around only to see Minho.
"You okay?" he asked, tired eyes staring at me.
I nod and answered, "Yes. I was just about to go somewhere but. . you stopped me."
Minho smiled. "You're going to Newt and Briana? Tsk. Don't mind them, they're having their time analyzing each other's feelings. You should have saw the way Newt hugs Briana the other night. I see chemistry between them."
I froze at the moment.
"S-so, you think, N-newt likes Briana?"
"Yeah, I think they're inlove."
What the hell. This is such a nice day.
"Do you want to grab some food from Frypan's? I'm hungry."
I don't know but when Minho grabbed my hand, I didn't hesitate to pull away. I looked back again to Newt and Briana and I saw Newt looking at me, eyebrows tensed, as if something's bothering him.
But then, Briana holds his hand, and then Newt's lips curved into a very sweet smile.
I looked away. I held Minho's hand tightly. Even earning glances from other Gladers.
I just need to be cool.
-
Days had passed and still, Newt is not talking to me. Or even getting near me. He's just out there, observing me, staring at me intently when I talk to someone, especially Minho.
Today, Clint gives me a flower. Well, I don't know where he gets that flower but I'm sure did it creeps me out especially it's a white one.
Frypan also cooked a very special sandwich just for me. Jeff sits beside me during lunch. Gally intentionally smiling at me everytime I meet his gaze. Winston, trying to hold my hand with his bloody hands. And other Gladers doing something that they think would win me over.
Can they just give up?
But this afternoon, while I was walking around, eyes glued to the ground for me to not meet their gaze, I crashed into a body that immediately resulted for me to fall.
Oh no, I didn't fall, Newt let out a gasp, grabbing hold of my small body, holding my left hand.
And I swear, when my eyes met his, I think I'm gonna scream.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked me.
"O-oh, y-yeah, yeah, fine." I stuttered.
He smiled, finally releasing my hand that he presses a bit before realeasing.
"So, where are you going?" he asked, changing the topic.
"I don't know. . somewhere where I can find peace and. . a place where there are no Gladers staring at me like they're gonna eat me."
He chuckled.
"Well, I must say, I'd be very glad to help you find that place but I'm just going to do something really, really important."
Now I am curious. Newt's always volunteering to accompany me everytime I want to be alone. Why all of a sudden he's changing?
"Well, what are you. .gonna do that is really, really important?" I asked, mentally cursing to myself that I shouldn't have asked that type of question.
"I'm gonna do some important and special work with Briana." he smiled, eyes sparkling with the mentioning of her name. I almost cried when I saw the way he blushes.
I faked a smile. "Well, I'll see you then. I'm gonna go find Minho from the group of Gladers out there."
I don't know why I mentioned Minho's name. I really don't want to see Minho. I mean, we've been hanging out around the Glade for a while but, I really don't know why I did mention his name.
And why did I even said that I want to go and find Minho from the other Gladers when I'm internally scared with them staring at me?
But what's bothering me is, Newt's expression turned into a very angry, shocked and jealous? (idk) one.
And I was completely shocked when he asked me. "Do you like Minho?"
He's so serious, I was completely out of words.
"I-I, no. I mean, yeah. I l-like him. As a-"
"You like Minho." he looked away from me and I was so confused why.
"Look, I gotta go, Briana's waiting for me." and then he walked away just like that.
I followed (with my eyes only) his limping body 'till he saw Briana seating on a tree all by herself. He sit beside her and I was so jealous, I almost punched Clint when he passed by.
I'm so glad Minho arrived and he invited me to the Deadheads to have a nice snack and a very comforting conversation.
Yeah, maybe slightly comforting.
Actually, we are kinda awkward now.
Because he isn't that talkative now, not just like our past conversations when we were alone like this. For a good one hour, he's just eating his soup, eyes staring to the ground below, completely ignoring me.
And it really bores me especially it's getting darker here.
"Minho, can we go? I think I need a shower because it's so hot."
Minho didn't respond. As If he didn't hear me talking to him.
"Minho, are you oka-"
"I like you."
After he said those words, I am literally out of words.
Answers like "what the hell", "are you serious", and "oh no not again" runs through my mind but I can't say a single word.
Minho began saying other things that I can't hear because I am so occupied. What if Newt knows about this? Will he get jealous? Should I tell him that one of his bestfriend tells me that he likes me? Would he get angry?
I hope so.
"Paige? Are you listening? Can I?" Minho said, hopefully staring at me like he just asked me a very important question.
"O-oh. Yes, yes." I answered cluelessly.
I shouldn't have said those words because the moment I answered him, he leaned in closer, cups my face, and is about to kiss me.
I couldn't process everything that time. I could have stopped him but then Newt and Briana's face flashed in my mind and I felt jealousy strikes me.
Maybe Newt likes Briana. Or maybe they are making out right now. Having fun.
Maybe I should kiss Minho, even if it doesn't feel right.
I closed my eyes waiting for Minho's lips to touch mine. I was so scared. I'm not sure about this. And I'm not ready for this. I can't even-
"Sandwich!"
Minho pulled away and gets as far as he can when someone interrupted our almost unimaginably kissing session.
We both turned to face Newt, who's smile is super wide but I kinda feel he is about to cry.
"Sandwich! U-umm. I-I'm going to go get a sandwich from Frypan's. . a-and I figured out, I-I don't want to be selfish so I came here and ask if someone wants a sandwich!"
He tried to act so happy but I can see something watery in his eyes. He also almost cracked at the end of his sentence.
"There's no 'sandwich' need here, thank you." Minho said, disappointment clear in his voice.
"Well then, I'll see you two! A-and good luck in whatever you are doing. . "
He smiled at me and I almost want to hug him but then he turned away, his limping body walking away from us.
And I also figured out, this is wrong. This is definitely wrong.
"I'm sorry Minho." I said, standing up and getting my stuffs.
Minho smiled shyly and rubs the back of his head. "Yeah, It's okay. I shouln't have done that."
I looked at him for a second so he spoke again. "I know you liked him. I know you liked Newt. I was just really desperate to get you. And I'm sorry I tried to kiss you. I know you don't want it."
He sincerely smiled at me and for a second, my heart melted. "It's okay Minho, I accept your apology. It just doesn't feel right. And yeah. . . I liked Newt, and I'm so sorry. . "
He nods. "Well, go then. Apologize for what we've almost done. I think the man's got emotionally and mentally frustrated."
I smirked, hoping what he said is true. "I'll go then."
"Yeah."
-
I can't sleep.
Newt and I shared a bed. This was Alby's idea ever since I came here because Newt's the only boy he can trust with everything. We shared the same bed every night since then.
He never gets late in getting to bed. Actually, he's always excited whenever we are going to sleep. We have this nice conversations before sleeping that he can't definitely moved on.
This goes every night. Even when he started hanging out with Briana.
But now, he's nowhere to be found.
Is he angry? Is he affected about what he saw between me and Minho? Or maybe. . he's just with Briana?
I push myself up to find him. I can't sleep without him beside me. I need him. Right now. I'll do whatever to make him go back to bed beside me. Even if I interrupt him and Briana doing things that will possibly break my heart. Even if I will tell him the truth. That I liked him. Even if he doesn't like me back.
Because I want him to get back to me.
Whatever it takes.
I hugged myself as the cold wind brushes my skin. I was even barefoot. How eager am I?
I walked for about 15 minutes 'till I saw Briana coming out from the Deadheads. I immediately frozed when I saw her happily smiling. If Briana's not in bed, and Newt is not in our bed too. .
No.
That's when Briana saw me. She ran towards me, still smiling, but catching her breath.
"Hello there, Paige." she said, still out of breath and combing her blonde hair with her hand. "where are you going?"
"I-I'm just walking. . trying to freshen up my mind?" I smiled but almost failed. "you? where did you came from. You looked so. . happy."
"Oh, nothing." her eyes sparkled as she held my right hand. "I just had a wonderful conversation with Newt about something- I mean, someone. . " she presses my hand. And I was about to pass out when she said that she had a very wonderful conversation with Newt when I saw Newt's limping body coming out from the Deadheads. When he saw me and Briana, he stopped in his tracks. We stared at each other for a second, 'till Briana noticed it.
"Oh. . " she said, looking at Newt then back at me. "I think I should go." she teasingly kissed my cheeks. "have fun." and she ran away.
Newt began walking towards me and I don't know what to do whether to run and hide where no one else could see me or just face him, apologize and tell him that I like him.
I need to do the first one.
"Paige."
But it was too late.
"N-Newt."
He slightly smiled, helds my hand and presses it a bit. He looked at me directly in the eyes and I swear, somewhere else, I've heard angels singing so heavenly.
"Can we talk? In the Deadheads? Privately?"
I was really, really turned on when he said that we should talk privately and I defiantly don't know why.
He grabs me softly and we started walking towards the Deadheads. We were not talking and it was so very awkward so I just turned my attention to our entertwined hands.
When we entered the Deadheads, I think I saw something bright somewhere. When we walked and walked, that tiny little light turns out to be more than one. And when we got closer, I realized the place was full of lighted scented candles.
Where the hell did Newt got all of this thing?
In the middle of it, is a table with two chairs in it. Food served and my stomach almost growl because I didn't attend dinner for Newt wasn't there.
But anyways, I was really amazed by this. Did Newt did all of this? There were candles and flower petals everywhere. I couldn't believe what I'm actually seeing right now.
"I got you a flower." he said as I turned back at him. "I'm sorry 'bout this. I stole this flowers from Zart's garden and. . it's just so beautiful, like you."
My cheeks burns like a wildfire.
"Let's sit, aye?" he offered as he held my hand again to take me to the table.
"You did all of this?" I asked as I sit, still amazed by the candles, the food and his face. My god, his face that is lighted by candles is almost angelic. I forgot how handsome Newt really was.
"Well, Briana helped me. We've been planning this for weeks. . I hope you liked it?"
My jaw fell after what he said. So there were actually no real relationship and no mutual understandings between the two of them? They were just hanging out and planning all of this for me? But why?
"Briana's just helping you do all of this? Why?"
He smirked. "Can't you see, Paige?" He touches my hand. "I like you. I really, really like you. I am so jealous that you are giving attention to the other Gladers. I am so jealous that you were accepting all of the flowers and stuffs they gave to you so I did this for you to see that I like you too, and that I appreciate every single piece of you. I like you, Paige, even if you don't like me back. I actually think I do love you. . but then, I don't want to rush things so, Paige. . " he sighed, his expression turned into a very sad and hopeless one. "I'm sorry. . . I knew you liked Minho."
I was speechless. I never thought this cold night would be so special. I looked at him and all of my emotions jumbled so wildly I can't even compose myself.
Of course I liked Newt. I really like him too. I wouldn't hesitate to say I really loved him. Because. . I really loved him.
"This is a bad idea. ." Newt said as he stands up. "I am so sorry-"
"Same."
"What?"
"I like you too. I am profoundly and unreasonably inlove with you, actually. I want you to be mine, if you want to."
We stared at each other for a second again. He's just staring at me unbelievably.
"I-I thought you liked Minho. .you were kissi-"
"We didn't actually kiss because you came at the right time." I laughed nervously. "I was completely out of myself back then. I was thinking about you and Briana. . if you were in a relationship. . " I stared at the flowers in front of me. "I don't want to be with someone unless it was you." then I closed my eyes.
Newt's been silent for a minute. And my eyes are still close then, we were just observing each other, not awkwardly, just absorbing.
"Well, then stand up, Paige." Newt said and I immediately opened my eyes. He was smiling now, happiness evident from his eyes, his cheeks flushed, his smile growing wide, and his hand waiting for my hand.
"Why?"
"Because I want to prove you that you are the one I really like, love, treasure, and adore in this world."
I held his hand and he immediately grabs my waist as soon as I stand up.
"You will always be the woman that I will endlessly love 'till the end of time. I might have to meet every woman outside the Glade when we have the chance to escape. . but my eyes, my heart, my body and my soul will always be yours, forever."
And as I memorize every single detail he said to me, he cups my face with his right hand, left hand still on my waist. . he whispered, "Proof." then our lips touched, I couldn't resist.
It was a new feeling I've felt. It was a mixture of love, happiness, satisfaction and success. I couldn't believe that after all the secret feelings I had hide from him, here we go, kissing like this will be the end of a lifetime.
He disconnected our lips, catching his breath, but still staring at me.
"You don't really like Minho?"
I pulled him and kissed him for a second, "No. And Briana?"
"We should thank her for this wonderful setup."
We laughed so sweetly.
"There shall be no other Gladers going to my girl starting now." We smiled as he brushes my cheeks with his hand.
"You are mine now, and without you, I'm like a track without races." he said.
"And without you, I'm like a shoe without laces." I replied.
"A painting with no faces."
"A sentence with no spaces."
"And I love you."
"Always."
Hello Paige. Hope you like it. I dunno if I do get what you want but. .whatever ha ❤
Loveyou bakemonos.
-sophie