chapter song; it's all on u - illenium
"I feel like you're both old enough so I shouldn't be asking this, but I'll do it anyway." I turned my head to stare at Lark as he shut the door of the Land Rover, awaiting his question. "Does anybody need to take a piss?"
We both looked at Harry who was fiddling with the car keys. His gaze met mine before it flickered to Lark's, and sighed.
"Come on guys, it was one time."
"Three." Lark and I said simultaneously.
I watched Lark toss a bag of necessities to Harry, which he caught with one hand and let out an exasperated groan. He began to walk away, still muttering to himself at being babied. But just as Lark stated we won't be stopping along the way. We can't afford to lose any more time on stops that could be prevented.
Heading through new territory was always terrifying. We weren't aware of what was ahead, how many walkers inhabited an area, or if we were to run into corrupted groups of people. The last thing we needed was a rehash of events.
Behind me I heard Lark laugh quietly to himself, immediately catching my attention.
"Jordyn, come take a look at this."
He was leaning against the hood of the car with an opened book and what looked to be photographs in his hand. I stood by his side, examining what was indeed pictures. He turned each picture around to find them labelled with tiny black writing.
"I completely forgot about these. This was us in university."
Lark handed me the pictures once he was done examining them. It was a picture of Ash and Harry. Ash had his arm around him, smiling brightly at the camera as he did so, whilst Harry was drinking some sort of beverage through a straw. The photo was slightly blurred, but bright green and red lights were distinguishable in the background.
I was given another of the three boys which I couldn't help but laugh at. Lark was standing in the middle, smirking widely with both hands outstretched with his middle fingers facing towards the camera. However, both Harry and Ash were clutched to his sides, their necks arched with their lips in a pout.
"This is gold." I smiled, receiving more and more photographs from Lark as we shared small chuckles and gasps.
"I remember, this was one of the parties we threw in our first year. Man... We were so immature."
I ponded for a moment and thought whether 'were' was the appropriate word to describe their immaturity. It still remains.
After multiple of pictures consisting with mostly the three of them, and a few other people, I began receiving individual pictures of the boys. One of a half naked Lark with a straw hat, another of Ash asleep with dozens of empty beer bottles, and one of Harry with his face turned away from the camera with an off-sided smile. He was very obviously interacting with somebody off-camera.
There was one thing in common with all of these pictures Lark had shown me. They were all happy. There wasn't a single dull photograph shared. Although they were only some years younger than they are now it's just a representation that not only have they physically changed, but also mentally. And the outcome wasn't a positive one.
"It was such a simpler time, you know?" Lark whispered. "At this time Haz was still doing ballet, Ash's parents weren't divorced, and I still had my best friends."
"You still have Harry."
He only nodded. "That's true. But he's not the same Harry as he was three years ago. This carefree spirit you see here in these pictures has turned into a self-loathing, protective person. Same physical features, but everything else is different. His depression only gets worse over the years, and I'm scared that I can't help him."
"You can only do your best, Lark. He's gone through traumatising things, we all have, it just takes time to recover."
"He used to describe his depression as living inside an invisible dome with no way of escaping. He's just trapped in his own world of misery."
I pursed my lips in thought. "Have you ever read Under the Dome?"
Lark glanced at me with a raised brow. "I've read Dr. Seuss and Twilight."
"Basically what happens is some huge impenetrable dome materialises around some town. And the results are pretty disastrous. That dome sparked doom amongst the townspeople, there was evil and there were heroes. The ending is pretty lame, but what I'm trying to say is that these people were set for misery and death. Many did die, but those who didn't refused to give up so easily, and in the end they were set free. That dome was raised and those people weren't trapped anymore."
He only nodded, running his tongue over his teeth with a sigh. "Kind of like The Simpsons movie? With Homer saving them all, you know?"
I smiled. "It's always the unexpected ones. They were all set for death too. In instances like being trapped, you can really experience how a person goes from being completely sane to absolute insanity. They're corrupt in their own way and most of the time it leads to their downfall. But it's weird because... death is prolonged, you know it's going to happen, you don't know when or how but it will someday. You can either be afraid of death or face the facts that it's inescapable. I can't speak for Harry, I can't relate to his mental incapacity, but I know the two of us will help him escape his internal dome. We just need time."
He shut the book after storing away the pictures safely. "Yeah. But how much time do we really have left?" His gaze was focused towards me for only a second before it shifted to something behind me. I turned my head, noticing Harry's figure standing by the entrance of the unit with a frown.
"Right. We ready to go?"
-
It was ideal for Lark to drive as he basically memorised the rest of the way to get to Brattleboro, that being both a positive and a negative. To our advantage we would finally be in a place of refuge in such a short time, however a disadvantage was to come across utter chaos where we'd meet our disaster. It was all a game of chance.
Harry and I were seated in the backseats, we sat on opposite ends with our backs leaning against the car doors, and in between us were multiple handguns and bullets with empty magazines. We loaded as many bullets as we could, something to do to simply kill the time we had to spare.
"Reckon we should start with the big guns after this?" I asked.
"Just give me a minute." Harry replied after placing the loaded magazine into the duffle bag by the floor. He then began to remove his jacket, as well as his thin jumper until he was only wearing a white tank top. I stared at him, confused yet amused by his actions.
"What're you doing?" I crossed my arms and grinned, watching him rub his hands together.
"Bringing out the big guns."
It was all he said before he raised his arms and began to flex, increasing the tension in his biceps. I snorted in reaction, turning my head away and laughing at his absurdness. I looked back at Harry and noticed his own smile. His eyes crinkled in the corners and the tiny indent in his cheek became prominent as he did so.
"Knew that would make you laugh."
"Oh yeah." I coughed. "Impressive though, maybe I can take on your routine."
"Mhm, I call it 'carry your own shit'," he motioned an arch with his hands.
I scoffed. "What're you trying to say?"
"Your noodle arms will get you nowhere. I bet you have no strength in your arms."
"How about we test that theory with my fist in your face?"
He cowered away from me. "Please no, not my face." I leaned forward and immediately one of his hand dropped to his crotch. "Not that either, I intend to put it to good use later."
My eyes widened once I realised what he was intending, and when he noticed that I caught on he only winked. A cough interrupted our momentary daze with one another. I cleared my throat, completely forgetting that Lark was driving the car.
"Uh, we're here. Brattleboro..."
Immediately all senses came rushing back and with no time to spare I began to stare out the window. And I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was all the same. The endless rural environment was burnt to crisps, everything was blackened and left to dust. Any buildings that remained was the aftermath of an arsonist action. Where grass was once green was non existent, where the clouds were usually so full of life and brightly coloured was now dull and grey. Where there was once hope was now... hopelessness.
We were surrounded by complete and utter destruction.
"It's worse up here," Lark mumbled, speeding along the gravel roads. There was no sign of life, there was not even a single sign of the dead, besides from the environment. "We'll keep going... We'll find a place, okay?"
I dismissed Lark's reassurance and only stared beyond the horizon, wishing upon any power I had that luck would be on our side for once.
-
The myriad of evergreen trees surrounded us as we continued to drive through the road. It was as if it was sheltering us from the destruction beyond the outskirts, and with the mist up ahead it was almost as if we weren't invited.
"What the hell."
I leaned forward from my seat, observing a car ahead that seemed to be abandoned with all its doors wide open. Lark noticeably began to slow the car down until we came to a complete stop after seeing two bodies laying on the ground -- unmoving. I didn't know what to make of it, and my immediate thought was to run out and help these people but for some reason I kept myself seated and continued to analyse the scene.
"Lark, drive in front of the car." I pat his shoulder in encouragement, immediately pressing on the gas to steadily and cautiously drive past the bodies on the ground. Staring at my window at a closer perspective I noticed there were no visible contusions or blood from the man or the woman. What I assumed to be their car was in an almost perfect condition.
"We have to go and help them." Harry had reached to open the car door, and out of impulse I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to his seat. My gaze was focused on the side view mirror where I had the car and people both in sight.
I shook my head. "No... No, this doesn't seem right."
"What do you mean? These people need help."
Again I only shook my head. "It's too clean. They aren't bleeding, their car is in great condition, so what could have happened?"
I gazed out my window and noticed multiple of figures appearing from the depths of the forest, all carrying weapons in the hands. My head turned to Harry's side and noticed an even larger amount of people emerging from the unknown.
"Lark, go!" I shouted. My heart pounded erratically in fear as I couldn't tear my eyes away from the group of now visibly armed people. I didn't notice how tightly I was holding my gun until I felt Harry's hand covering mine to loosen my grip around it. I shut my eyes, inhaling deeply to calm my nerves and the fear sparking through my system.
The car screeched, the tires slashed against the road before we took off with top speed. But it wasn't enough as we heard multiple gunshots in the background.
"Fuck!" Lark shouted in fear. I stared behind us, panting in anticipation as more gunshots were heard. Then suddenly there was a burst and before we knew it the car was decreasing in speed and rattling. "Sh-shit."
Lark only continued to drive as Harry loaded one of the hunting rifles he had.
"Take a gun, and fucking shoot."
Harry rolled down one of the windows and before I knew it the sounds of gunshots only increased. In an instant I grabbed a hold of two loaded pistols, and following Harry's actions I rolled down my window and began shooting. A majority of the group had stayed where the "broken down" car was, yet there were three large cars following us very closely. I looked down and noticed one of our tires had been blown from the impact of a bullet. These people weren't going to stop until they killed every one of us.
"Shoot their tires!"
I aimed and began to pull the trigger, but as if the driver knew what my intention was he began to swerve the car, resulting in unsuccessful attempts. There was a blow, and I noticed Harry had successfully hit one of their tires. The large car swerved for a few moments but that didn't faze the driver as he continued. I stared at the man in the driver's seat, he had a toothpick in his mouth with a rundown baseball cap. Yet it was his devious smile that terrified me.
More shots rang towards our vehicle, most grazed the edges and burst the lights, yet a few had managed to pierce through the hood.
They weren't aiming at us, they were trying to take down our car first.
At the realisation I stopped attempting to shoot the tires, and instead aimed my guns at the driver himself. I took a steady breath, trying to control my rattling hands to take aim. The man's eyes widened and with no hesitation I pulled the triggers of both pistols. The bullets penetrated through the windshield and I knew they had made contact. The car sharply swerved to the right, crashing into one of the larger vehicles.
I watched in shock as the two cars tumbled and crashed, their hunt for us was done for. Debris was all over the place, but it didn't take long before the last car was accelerating their way towards us. As our car slowed down theirs only continued to speed up, but that was all ended once Harry had, once again, shot and burst their tire. Only this time due to the high speeds the car swerved and immediately began to flip and tumble down the side of the road.
I felt paralysed with my arms still outstretched and the guns aiming nowhere. The wind whipped through my air, another time it would have been calming, but right now I only felt utter bewilderment and fear.
I killed somebody, dead-on.
Just like how Harry shot the tires and stopped the cars, I could have done the same. But instead I took aim and pulled the trigger, killing one of the drivers instantly.
I felt a sudden pull against my jumper and before I knew it I had been dragged into the car with Harry panting by my side.
"Are you crazy?!" He yelled. I only stared at him, dazed. "You killed him, Jordyn! I told you to shoot their tires but you instead shot the fucking guy?!"
"Hey!"
His head snapped in Lark's direction but my eyes remained on Harry. I felt like I was dreaming, floating almost. It was almost nauseating. I noticed drops of perspiration trickle down Harry's jaw, his pants resonated within the car. Every sense of mine was heightened.
The car continued to rumble but Lark didn't pull over. Not while we were in dangerous territory. Harry's attention was focused on me once more, he was shouting by the way his eyes were bulging out of their sockets, his head and arms turned and motioned to the incident we were leaving behind. But his voice felt so distant.
My vision blurred for seconds at a time and no amount of blinking regained my full clear sight. Harry must've noticed the way my head was lulling forward and backwards and before I knew it I fell forward against Harry's chest in panic.
-
"...absolutely crazy."
"She did what she had to do, Haz. I'll take a look around, come inside when you've talked it through."
The sounds of voices awoke me from my temporary sleep. I groaned, attempting to sit up but the muscles in my body didn't cooperate which only led me to fall back onto the seat.
I was startled when the car door was swung open, allowing the bright light to shine across my face. I shut my eyes and grunted at the discomfort, that was until the light was suddenly blocked by a figure. By raising my head I saw Harry standing in front of me with a stolid expression.
"You passed out. Are you okay?"
I nod my head even though I was far from okay. The memories of what occurred just before all came rushing back, and I couldn't help but gain the feeling of regret and guilt.
"I'm —"
He raised his hand. "Come on."
Harry held my hand, aiding me in exiting the car. Once I was on my own two feet my legs began to tremble as if I was about to fall. Harry noticed this and told me to sit on the car's foot step.
"Where are we?" My voice was groggy as I looked around our surroundings. We were in some sort of a clearance, there was a dam with trees surrounding the area we were in. That was all I could see from my seated vantage.
"We'll get to that later." Harry crossed his arms. He was angry and I knew what was about to come. "Why did you kill that guy?"
"Harry —"
"No. No, listen. I told you to shoot their tires, which worked perfectly fine, Jordyn. I can't see why you didn't do that."
"I tried to but —"
"But you killed the guy instead... That's barbaric! Jordyn, you shot and killed a man, what position does that put you in? That makes you no different from the bad guys!"
"No!" I shouted, feeling my eyes swell with tears. "No, Harry. I tried to, I tried to shoot the tires but it didn't work for me. I did what I had to do or else we would have been killed." Using the sleeve of my jumper I wiped away the fallen tears from my cheeks and sniffled. "They were shooting at the car, if they wanted to kill us instantly they could have shot us but they chose the car. We didn't know their intentions, Harry, but I assume that these were sadistic people."
"You don't know that!"
"What better assumption do you have?!" I stood up, the nauseating feeling returned but for only a second. "They tried to lure us in a trap. You would have gone out if it wasn't for me. What would have happened then, huh? Imagine that. If you had gone out... What makes this situation any different from when Ash was killed?"
He was silent.
"I've been around, Harry. I've come across people who torture and prolong the death of others. It's inhumane. You don't know what people's intentions are, y-you... you don't know what people would do when they're desperate. Desperate for survival or for entertainment. I've seen bodies on stakes, I've seen people being burnt alive, I've seen what people do for food. They'll do anything for it... even turn against their best friend."
He turned his away and stared at the ground with pure disgust written all over his face. His brows were furrowed and I could only imagine what he was thinking.
"I did what I had to do. I can't take it back now, and I know I have to live with knowing that I killed a man. But it's either us or them, and that's not a choice to me. We're alive and that's what matters." I watched his lips press into a thin line, his eyes focusing anywhere else but my eyes.
"Why are you crying?"
I used my fist to smear away any of my tears. "Because I'm tired, Harry. I'm tired of everything. I just -- I just want to stop. You yelling at me doesn't make me feel any better."
He momentarily looked away, seeming to contemplate something, but I couldn't understand what. "You're going to have to live with the death of somebody on your shoulders," he said.
I only shrugged. "That's nothing new to me."
He blinked several times before his expression softened. I watched him raise his hand to my cheek and softly caress the soft skin, smearing away the tears I didn't notice were still there. "Let's go and find Lark."
-
I was led by Harry inside some sort of a cottage-like house, it was rather small but seems pretty efficient from the outside. Weeds were overgrown all throughout the front porch as well as the bricks of the cottage itself. The detail and colour only complimented the visual, giving what would have been a bland and simple cottage, character.
Harry grabbed a hold of my hand, intertwining our fingers together. After only a second of staring at his hand covering mine I responded with a light squeeze. He called out for Lark once we entered, and it took only a few seconds for his friend to appear.
"How is it?"
Lark crossed his arms. "One walker in the kitchen. There's some blood splattered on the ground but that won't be a problem. Take a look around." His head tilted towards the what I assumed was the living room, but it was not before I noticed him staring at mine and Harry's entwined hands.
I felt a tug and before I knew it I was following right behind Harry whilst observing the place around us. The colour theme was noticeably brown, the furniture consisted of two large three-seater couches, as well as an old chipped rocking chair. The rug beneath the wooden coffee table was an eccentric type, outlines of tan colours was woven into the material, and although this possibly wouldn't be something I would ever consider purchasing it suited the colour scheme of the cottage well.
"No way."
My hand dropped from Harry's as I watched him excitedly manoeuvre his way past the coffee table to where the television was mounted. Only it was then I realised what caught his interest.
"I haven't seen one of these in years," he laughed quietly to himself. We stared at the tube tv in astonishment. I didn't realise these still even existed, especially after the popularity of flat screen televisions. He knocked against the back of the screen, seeming so fascinated by his findings. Something as simple as this brought back so many memories of just how much simpler things were compared to a time like this.
And it's crazy to think that something as advanced as a tube television is considered 'ancient' within recent times.
Compared to the cabin back in Arizona, this cottage was nothing similar of the sorts. It was a lot more old-fashioned, and although it had no fireplace or a horribly structured ceiling, it still felt homely. The only negative to it was how much quieter it was.
After observing the painting of tall trees in a gloomy forest I noticed Lark appear from another room. He huffed loudly and began rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand.
"Three bedrooms. An en suite with a queen bed, a second bedroom with a double, and the last with bunkbeds. My estimate is that... this must've been a little holiday house. Or if these people wanted to disappear off the radar then this would have been the go-to place." He explained with multiple pauses once we continued our journey observing.
"Is it secure though. To keep anything besides us, out?" The validity of Harry's question was a notable one, if this place wasn't safe for us to stay then what was the point of doing so. He walked from myself and Lark and began to stare at one of the windows. Harry grabbed a hold of the curtain and pulled it away, revealing some sort of handle.
With a second glance at us, he began to turn the handle in a circular motion. The sound of cranking could be heard but it was only after a few turns of the handle did we notice what its purpose was. The cottage had rolling security shutters installed. Harry continued to roll down the shutters until there was a click, notifying us when it was secure and locked.
Lark chuckled to himself. "I'd say it's kinda safe."
Harry raised a brow. "Kinda."
"I'm going to take a look outside." I motioned my head towards the back door. "To observe the area a little. And... I need some air."
Little was left to be exchanged before I began to make my way outside of the cottage. The fresh chilling feel of the wind blew against my face, but it wasn't even the cold air that felt so relaxing. It was the idea that we've finally found a place, we found our haven. After long days of journeys, of experiencing countless of horrors on the road, we've finally done it.
The light from the day was beginning to fade, yet from the winter I knew we weren't going to be getting any sunsets for a while. But watching the light reflecting onto the dam that quivered within every rattle of every tree, it was a view to be bested by the sunset.
"Hey!"
A voice I recognised to be Harry's called from somewhere, but after relentless times of turning around I couldn't find him anywhere.
"Up here, you dud."
I tilted my head backwards and shielded my eyes to notice Harry sitting with his legs outstretched on the roof. He smirked and saluted with two fingers, continuing to lay back and stare ahead. I couldn't help but wonder how quickly he was on the roof... unless he followed me outside. Upon realising that he used the ladder that was placed against the brick wall, I found myself climbing unsteadily as it had no secure support, but overall I managed to climb up onto the roof.
He peered at me. "Beautiful, ain't it?" He whispered. Unintentionally I felt my cheeks suddenly heat underneath his stare, and obviously failed to hide it once Harry's smile only widened. "Don't gloat now, Jordyn. I was talking about the view."
I only laughed, happening to agree with him. From this high vantage everything was so much more visible from the ground. Everything looked so much better from higher above, as well as further away. The entire area around the cottage was surrounded by massive green trees. They stood tall and guarded, as if they were shielding us away from any unwanted company. And where the trees weren't securing us it was the dam.
"Look over there, do you see it?" Harry pointed in the distance. I leaned forward, squinting my eyes in concentration at some huge white machinery.
"Is that a windmill?"
"Mhm," he nodded. "Lark thinks it generates power from the wind and the water from the dam to create electricity. And that electricity may thoroughly filter the water, see that over there?" He again pointed to a large metal block. Upon noticing it I began hearing a soft echoing buzz coming from that direction. "Lark says that might be where the pipes are connected. Just... look at how fucking crazy that looks."
We both admired the way the water flowed down the large barrier from the reservoir. Although a majority of the water would have been frozen during the low temperatures throughout winter, it's slowly beginning to melt as spring is on its way.
I looked to my left and saw Harry smiling.
"What?" I asked him.
"We did it." He blinked profusely and inhaled sharply. But yes, he was right. We did it, and we made it.
"We all deserve it, especially through all the shit we've gone through."
"This is it, you know? We've lost our family, the ones we care about, we came across some weird shit like that... that thing—"
"Wendigo?"
He nod. "Yeah, that. It's just, we've been through so much but I can't help but this that this was almost too easy, you know?" I remained silent for him to elaborate. "Like, fuck it's hard to explain. All I've ever wanted since we left the cabin was for us to get to a safe place. Some place where we're guaranteed survival. And now that we have I keep thinking, is this it? I'm so mentally, physically, hell, even emotionally exhausted I don't even know what I'm saying."
"Did you expect us to not make it?"
Harry shook his head. "No. I knew you would make it. I knew Lark would have as well. I just didn't think I would be here, sitting on a roof with you, and feeling so... calm. I've been so used to constantly moving around and having a gun or a knife in my hand. I never took a moment to just stop and - and breathe. But now I don't have any weapons on me, I-I'm relaxed, or at least a little less agitated than I normally am. Yet there's that little voice in my head saying that no matter what I'm still set for doom."
"Look at me. Harry... look at me. We're alive, and we're okay. Now look out there." I pointed out to the horizon, admiring the darkening sky. "We're here, and we made it. Look around us and tell me what other shit will be thrown at us that we can't handle. There's no more moving, no more loss, or - or hopelessness. See that clear patch over there, we can start planting vegetables tomorrow. And over there can be the apple and fig trees."
I smiled at him, which he also reciprocated.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's not something I want to do but I just... I don't want you living with the guilt, or the added guilt of killing somebody, I guess. But on top of that I also want to say thank you. For saving our lives. You were right, if you hadn't had done what you did then we wouldn't be here right now."
I shook my head. "Apology accepted."
"How do you think everything's going so far?"
"We're doing pretty fucking all right for ourselves."
"Unnecessary swearing." He began scolding me with a tut.
In retaliation I shoved his shoulder lightly and began rolling my eyes. He swung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him to rest around his side. I inhaled his deep scent, instantly relaxing my muscles and laying against him. I shut my eyes at the feeling of his soft, warm lips press against my cheek.
"We did it. We're home."
~
omfgg one more chapter to go.