What if?
What if Peeta asks about us having kids of our own one day? I saw the way he looked at Joe last night and the way he looks at Sophie every day, I know he wants children. But What if I don't want to bring children into the world? What if he doesn't understand having Sophie is different then having a child of our own?
What if? What if? What if?
---
But he doesn't ask to my greatest relief. After seeing his expression last night, his joy of holding a small baby it made the fear that had made its way to the back of my mind over time overrun me in a wave of pure panic. But the conversation never came. In the morning we were all exhausted as we made our way to the bakery. Sophie was at an advantage, with no work to do at her age she fell asleep on the couch in Rachel's office almost instantly. Rachel said she didn't mind and just carried on with her typing as Sophie was curled up in a deep sleep on the couch across the room. Me and Peeta on the other hand weren't so lucky, we didn't have the time for rest. Instead between rushing back and forth working we drink coffee. Mugs and mugs of coffee, hoping the caffeine will boost our energy from pure exhaustion. At one point of the day when I am passing by Jason he says to me
"No offence or anything Katniss but you look like exhausted wreck"
He has stopped calling me 'Ms Everdeen' now. We have gotten to know each other, I've gotten to know everyone here over the years. I laugh and say to him taking a mouthful of coffee
"Trust me, none taken. Coffee is the only thing keeping me awake at this stage"
He nods and says
"Looks like Peeta's just the same. I have never seen him not be completely enthusiastic for work!"
We both laugh at this. Moments later Peeta is walking past with a tray of cupcakes in hand when he stops in his tracks and looks with confusion as Jason and I continue to laugh. He glances at both of us before saying
"What's so funny?"
I shake my head and kissing his cheek before I walk past him. I then glance both and see him look at Jason questioningly but he just shakes his head with a grin before turning back to work. Peeta then shrugs his shoulders to himself and walks on which causes me to giggle slightly. When I enter the office Rachel is over by the window, looking out as she speaks on the phone. She gives me a salute in greeting and I wave back. I sit beside Sophie on the couch who begins to move as I sit beside her. She's wearing her new dress from her mother. She stretches her arms up before rubbing her eyes and waving at me sleepily. I smile and stroking her hair out of her face say softly
"Good afternoon sleepy head"
She smiles and reaches her arms to grasp around my neck. I pull her up onto my lap, allowing my warm arms to swallow her into a hug. She then pulls back and says
"Do I have to get up Mommy?"
My smile grows as I dramatically shrug my shoulders and say
"Well you don't have to but I heard Lynn and Mia need help with icing a cake and they thought you would like to help them but if you don't want to that's fine..."
She squeals
"No!No!"
She pushes herself quickly off my lap and runs out of the room. I laugh but then just as she runs through the doorway a piece of paper falls off her dress. It looks like a tag. I pick it up. And it is a tag, but to me its much more. Its a clue. I know that immediately after reading it...
[MADE AND SOLD IN DISTRICT 4]
I walk into the kitchen and call
"Peeta?"
Moments later there is a reply
"Yeah?"
I tell him, the tag clutched tightly in my palm
"Come here for a minute"
A moment later he walks in, cleaning his hands with a towel he asks
"What is it?"
He sounds worried, after seeing my expression he immediately registered that it was important. I don't say any words, just hand him the evidence and after a minute or two I find the words leaving my mouth lacking all emotion, said in almost a robotic voice
"It came off Sophie's dress"
He nods, clearing his voice after a while. His eyes remain locked on the tag as our mine. In my head it repeats over and over again, as if taunting me with frustration. Its like a game of connect the dots with only one dot, you can never find the answer unless you have more than one. We have one clue, if its even a clue. Peeta says looking at me
"You know what this means right?"
I look into his blue eyes, looking out at the ocean that is his blue iris'. And I nod. I know exactly what this means. Sophie's family, Sophie's home, Sophie's mother is in district 4. This answers the question of where her home is but the most important question still remains unanswered. Who is her mother?
---
That evening we call to Haymitch and Effie's for dinner. The tag is no longer spoken about, it remains in my pocket as we arrive at their house. Peeta made some pastries and a cake for them, something nice as we have yet to get a baby gift for each of the triplets. Sophie's perked up throughout the day, possibly because once again she ate many cookies and treats at the bakery. I have found myself a bit more wake too, mostly because I had to stay awake which is a good thing I guess. When we arrive at the house we are greeted by Haymitch who leads us into the living room where Effie has the triplets in her arms. Sophie gasps, of course she didn't see the triplets last night. She goes over and Effie introduces them to her as Haymitch talks to us about their day, from arriving home to the past few hours. We then go inside and eat dinner. They are delighted and grateful for the dessert and together we all eat inside the living room, the babies lying in their rockers before us. They ask Sophie about her birthday and Effie gives her her birthday present from them which is a beautiful wool blanket. Sophie politely thanks them and then walks around the house with it wrapped around like a long cloak, the majority of the blanket trailing on the floor behind her. After a while we decide to leave as the triplets are getting prepared for bed. We thank them for the lovely evening and they thank us for the treats before we leave. As we walk across to the house Peeta says to me
"The triplets are adorable aren't they?"
I continue walking as I nod and reply
"Yeah, they're so cute! Reminds me of when Sophie was only a baby"
After a few seconds Peeta says
"I'd love to have kids of our own one day"
I feel his eyes watching me, awaiting a reply. He doesn't get one, not a word in fact. We go to sleep that night with not a word between us. The only thing between us in fact is a huge space for emptiness in the bed, both of us sleeping far from each other. I don't know how I feel about what I said, all I know is it hit something deep down, hit something hard.
---
In the meadow she plays,
The girl with the chocolate hair of her mother, of me and the blue eyes of her father,
She runs in the long grass that covers the hills,
Squealing with joy with her arms spread wide as if awaiting the wind to carry her,
And then all of a sudden the sky goes dark,
The grass becomes wilted and her squealing curls into a deadly scream,
The blade of a knife is held to her neck,
She cuts off her scream as the metal lightly touches her skin, prepared to go deeper,
The killers face is blocked by a shadow from his black hood,
And just as his hood falls I see a white rose splattered with blood pinned to his coat,
And then his face is revealed, the snake eyes greet me with his evil grin,
And just as I scream in horror the knife cuts deep into my daughters neck....
-
"Katniss! Katniss wake up!"
Peeta shakes me, his face washed with worry as I open my eyes. My cheeks feel wet, my body trembles and the tears in my eyes keep falling. My breath is fast, my heart beating so loud its the only noise filling my ears, the pounding almost deafening. Peeta pulls me into his arms, rubbing my arms and whispering words of reassurance. I don't hear them. I hear my heart beat, I hear his heart beat as my ear lies in his chest and as my tears soak into his shirt. My fingers desperately clutch his shirt, trying to grasp reality once more. Peeta rocks me back and forth, coaxing me until my eyelids become droopy, my heart steady and my grasp loose as I fall into the darkness of sleep.
---
Hey guys! Double update today! Aren't you all so lucky I'm so nice! Haha! This revealed a clue about Sophie's mother and Katniss had a nightmare!! After taking feedback on my last A/N I got some new ideas so I hope you enjoyed these latest updates as I have tried my best to improve on the areas in which people told me they lost interest or didn't enjoy it as much! Exams are this week for me so updates will be slow if at all. Wish me luck (Because I am gonna definitely need it)! Anyway hope you enjoyed if you did please comment and vote! Thanks for reading see you soon!
Em is out!
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