I lose track of time, but eventually the song shifts and I recognize the tune—It Must Have Been Love. Instinctively, I pull away from John, dropping my hands from his neck.
His eyes are questioning.
"It's a break-up song."
"Oh, do you want to get a drink?"
I nod and we turn, but Jason is blocking our path. "May I?" He extends his hand to me.
"Umm..."
"You're not dancing to this one, right?" Jason says. "And this is our song."
"Excuse me?" John snaps.
"It is kind of," I explain beseechingly. "Do you mind?"
The expression on John's face answers that he minds very much, but he shakes his head once. "I'll get drinks."
"Thank you." I peck a kiss on his cheek for good measure before he goes, and then Jason steps in and my hand's in his before I know what's going on.
As we sway back and forth, I stare off at the bar watching John as he watches me. The lyrics have even more meaning this time because we are both listening to the song that could have been us. We narrowly escaped, but the breakup is still fresh in our hearts and, if we're being honest, we're both a little scared that things are too good to be true. Like there is something lurking just a week into the past that is going to come out and snatch away what we've reclaimed.
I shiver.
"Are you cold?" Jason asks, calling my attention to himself.
"No, just thinking."
"About?"
"John."
We sway back and forth for a few seconds, my eyes staring up at Jason as he seems to chew on a thought.
"What?" I finally ask because suspense is not my thing.
"Okay, but don't scream at me." His warm brown eyes heat my cheeks.
"I'll try."
He smirks. "I'm trying to figure why you'd get back with him after everything that's happened."
"He apologized. I forgave him.... I love him like you love Sarah."
"I suppose..."
"But," I say for him.
His gaze rests on me for another infuriating moment of suspense. "Why is he back now? What made he leave when he left? I mean," Jason's eyes stare at something in the distance. "There has to be a catalyst that finally brought him here..."
"He realized he loves me more than being Amish," I explain but even as I'm speaking the words a ribbon of suspicion weaves through them. A ribbon I don't want. "I trust him."
Jason's eyes flit back to me. "Trust is something that is earned. He can hardly have won back your complete confidence in a week."
A lump rises in my throat, not because of sorrow. "I want this relationship to work. I'm choosing to trust him."
"Maybe you shouldn't."
"You trust Sarah!"
"No, Zia. I don't."
His answer reverberates like a grenade being dropped on my argument, but my temper is too riled up to accept surrender. "But you love her and you're with her. You're making it work just like I'm making things work with John!"
Jason frowns and shakes his head. "I don't want to argue with you."
"Then what do you want?" I snap.
"To keep him from hurting you again." He brushes his hand across my cheek and I realize the angry tears have begun their descent.
My bottom lip trembles. "He's not hurting me, you are."
The song ends. I wretch my hands from his grip.
"Zia—"
"I can't do this with you, Jason. I thought we were friends."
"We are—"
"Then let me be happy!" The words rumble out of me like I'm an angry mama bear glaring at my perpetual savior. Hurt flashing across his eyes. "John makes me happy," I explain in a softer tone. "Please understand that."
He nods, and when I turn John is there waiting with a drink to reclaim me. He glares at Jason as Jason retreats somewhere away from the bar.
"What'd he say to you?" John demands.
I snatch the drink from him and down it as if it's not just Sprite, grenadine, and a cherry. "Nothing I want to talk about," I hand him the cup. "Can we go home? I don't want to dance anymore."
John frowns, but he nods and takes my hand leading me out of the bar. I don't look for Megs or Leah. When we're a good distance away, I text them that we're going home. I'm sure Jason will fill them in on the why if they haven't figured it out.
The walk is mostly silent. I need to calm down before I can speak to John or I'm just going to snap at him too. Part of me wants to. Jason has gotten into my head and now I want to know the catalyst behind John's return. At the same time, I'm furious with Jason for planting that seed. Can't he just let me have John and be unquestioningly happy for me? I don't get him. He's with Sarah. Who is he to be giving relationship advice?
"Want to talk about it?" John asks timidly when we're safe and sound at Megs's.
I shake my head, but John clearly wants to talk about something, so I pluck a question out of my brain. A question that indirectly asks what I don't want to ask, but at the same time do. "So, what was going on back home...before you left?"
John tenses. He probably doesn't want to talk about the people who are now shunning him.
"I heard Ariel punched Isaac..." I throw him a line.
John smirks, but the expression is forced. "Yeah, she got him good."
"Ariel's got a temper."
Jason raises a brow.
"I never punched you."
He chuckles, breaking the ice. "I suppose, but sometimes I wished you would have."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Silent treatment from you," he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, "is worse that getting a black eye."
"Should I punch you now to make up for the past six months?"
He smiles. "I'd prefer you kiss me."
My heart pitter-patters. He's wiggled out of answering my question. I know it. But right now I don't care. All I want are his arms wrapped around my body and his lips pressed to mine. That's exactly what I get, my suspicions and fears exploding into nothingness as if I've pointed my wand at them and screamed, "Riddikulus!"