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Soundtrack
Gypsy - Shakira
I never made agreements
Just like a gypsy
And I won't back down
'Cause life's already bit me
Cowboy Casanova - Carrie Underwood
He looks like
A cool drink of water
But he's candy coated misery
Killing Me Softly - Colbie Callait
I prayed that he would finish
But he just kept right on
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
***
I don't end up buying Alice.
Not that I didn't have every intention to do so.
After it was decided that Alice wasn't going to be euthanized and doesn't need surgery, Tyler's mom pulls me aside while the men attempt to get Alice back to her stall (despite the fact that I repeatedly assured them I could handle her.)
"Grace, that was very noble of you back there," she starts as we're walking our rides back to the barn.
I glance over at Galileo, who I've decided is the most nonchalant horse ever.
"What do you mean?"
"The fact that you put yourself on the line for that horse," she says. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't tempting to sell her to you."
"But you're not going to," I say cautiously, stating the implication of her sentence. "Why?"
"Let's just say I have a hunch about you," she says bluntly, leaving me with more questions than answers.
I sigh. "Mrs. Waters, I get it. I'm a bad influence, and you don't want me around your son. But, please-"
"Please, call me Marilyn. And Grace, that's not what I meant," she chuckles. "I'm sure you're a lovely girl, and I have no problem with you being around. But I won't sell you Alice. Partly because I'd like to see how this plays out, but also- you see, my father spoke very highly of the mare. I'd like to keep her close by."
"I'm sorry," I say after a beat of silence. "Were you close?"
She smiles fondly. "Very. I was an only child. Oh, don't get me wrong, I loved my mom up till the day she died. But I was always a Daddy's Girl."
"It must have been hard for you. I'm so sorry."
"Stop apologizing. It was nobody's fault. It was just his time," she says wryly. "But he is gone, and now all of this-" she gestures around the property. "-is my responsibility."
"Alice-"
"I won't sell her to you," she reiterates. "However, she has not willingly let anyone near her since my father died. Until tonight."
With a sense of déjà vu, I shake my head. "She was injured and scared-"
"You said yourself that animals normally lash out when they're scared. But she didn't. At least, not with you," she laughs, sparing a glance towards Levi, Tyler, and Paul, who are all struggling with the mare. "In any case, I'd like it if you came by and spent some time with her. I'm not sure if Tyler told you that she was a big show jumper-"
"He did. I'm more than happy to come and work with her any way I can, but I don't think I'll be much help there. I spent my summer on a ranch in Virginia, but that's the extent of my horse experience."
"Come out tomorrow. Spend some time with her. If you get anything out of it, maybe come back again," she offers. "I know you may think I'm coming across as bold, but Alice is special. My father wasn't wrong to think so. I've seen the videos of her before everything went to hell, and she's- magical. I was in show jumping for fifteen years and never saw another like her. It's tragic what she's become. If there's any chance at all that she'll trust you-"
"You don't have to try to convince me," I assure her. And it's the truth. Somehow, by some perverse twist of fate, I'm already invested in this horse- and everything that comes with her.
I put Galileo back into his stall when we get to the barn, scratching behind his ears in farewell before turning back to Marilyn.
"I won't be able to do anything with her if they-" I glance pointedly to the three still having difficulty convincing Alice to follow them. "-treat me like I'm made of glass. I get that she's been a problem horse is, but I'm a big girl. If I can't handle something, I'll ask for help. Otherwise-"
"Tell them to lay off?" she laughs. "I swear, it's the caveman instinct. Paul nearly lost his mind earlier when Alice knocked me down to get out of her stall."
"Your husband?"
She flashes me her bare ring finger. "Boyfriend. Tyler's father and I split up a while ago."
"I'm sorry."
She snorts. "Don't be. Best decision of my life."
I tilt my head, curiously. "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you seem too cool to be a mom."
She smiles at me as she begins to untack her mare. "I don't mind. I pull out the 'mom hat' when I need to, but Ty is pretty self-sufficient."
I glance over my shoulder to where Tyler is tugging on Alice's lead.
"I can see that," I giggle. "And Levi?"
"Levi isn't mine, though he's practically family. He's our live in barn hand while he's going to school."
By the time Alice is cleaned, stalled, sedated, and stitched up, it's well past 10:00 and I know I'll have some explaining to do when I get home- to Jace, no less.
I take a moment alone at her stall while everyone else is thanking the vet for coming out on such short notice.
Her head is still drooping from the sedation, her eyes glazed over in a half-asleep state.
"You're gonna be okay, Alley-Cat," I say under my breath, stroking her muzzle softly.
"Do you always talk to horses?"
I turn, matching the voice to Levi.
"Maybe. And?" I retort, my hand finding my hip. Now that Alice is safe and my mind is no longer consumed with protecting her, I allow myself to take in his ridiculously toned physique and good looks. When his piercing blue eyes find mine, I remain unabashed.
"As long as they don't talk back, I suppose you're alright."
"And if they do?"
He chuckles, practically devouring me with his eyes. "You're something else, kid."
I smile, tapping my finger to my dimples. "The word you're looking for is 'jailbait.'"
He laughs, before heading up into the loft.
"Grace-" I turn to face Tyler, whose staring at me inquisitively. "You ready to get home."
I take a last look over my shoulder at Alice, and nod.
"Yeah, let's go."
He leads me to his car, which I readily climb into, yearning for the comfort of my bed.
Before we're able to drive off, Marilyn runs up and taps on my window, which I roll down for her.
"Will I see you back here tomorrow?"
"Bright and early."
My shift doesn't start till 4:30 tomorrow, so I should be good as I don't end up having to cover anyone' shift.
"Good. See you then," she gushes, before bounding off to the barn. As we turn out of the driveway, I see her heading up into the loft. I laugh internally, assuming she's going to scold Levi for brazenly hitting on me.
Good, I think to myself.
I won't deny that if I'd met him about a week ago I'd be all over that. But now?
"You're coming back tomorrow?" Tyler asks after a long silence.
I glance over at him, a warm smile playing across my lips. My fingers toy with the onyx zipper on my sweater, repeatedly pulling it up and down by a hairs width in a rhythmic motion, suddenly embarrassed that it partially reveals the edges my white lace bra.
"Your mom seems to think that I've managed some sort of connection with Alice," I shrug, despite the warmth I feel letting her name roll off my tongue. I stay quiet for a beat, before sighing, "I'll be back."
He grins at me, cautiously, as if afraid to scare me off. "I thought you didn't like horses," he says, his intonation morphing the statement to a question. One which he expects an answer to.
I mull over my response for what seems like forever in the near silent car, the only sound being our quiet breathing and the soft rolling of the AC.
"It's complicated," I reply after a while. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye before turning his gaze back to the road, a silent invitation to continue. "Has anyone told you about Chey?"
He shakes his head. "I don't think so."
I chuckle wryly. "No, I don't guess they would have."
I take a moment to debate whether or not I should go through with this, with telling Tyler. My mind urges me not to, and I decide I'm going to listen when I hear my voice sound without my consent.
"Chey was my best friend. We'd been close since we were kids. But she had some demons that neither of us were strong enough to battle, and ended up taking her own life last year," I say quickly, not leaving time for him to respond. I've heard the customary I'm sorry for your loss too many times already. "I became depressed. Withdrawn. Without Jace, I probably would have followed in her footsteps."
There's no probably about it. If Jace hadn't been there, I would have died on my bathroom floor just like Chey had. The only difference is I chose pills, not wanting anymore blood to stain my tiles.
"My parents forced me into seeing a therapist, and she recommended I go to a ranch in Virginia. I reluctantly complied. I was paired with a horse. I hated him at first. But then, almost overnight, he filled all the empty places in my heart that Chey had left behind. He was my other half. But there was an accident, I lost him, too."
The lump in my throat stops me from speaking. Tyler stays quiet as I collect myself, giving me time to finish my story.
"I almost died with him, and when I woke up in the hospital, I was back in California. I've barely been able to think about horses since, let alone go near them. It was just too much. It's not that I don't like horses- it's that I'm afraid of how fast I am to love them."
By the time I've finished, we've pulled into my driveway. I can't bring myself to get out of the car right away, trying to regulate my fluttery breathing.
"What was his name?" Tyler's voice cuts through the silence.
"Trigger."
The name falls from my lips with the breath I was holding. The single word that embodies everything I've loved and lost.
I expect him to tell me he's sorry, to apologize for something that's no one's fault. But he doesn't. Instead, he brushes my hair out of my face, his hand lingering on my cheek for a moment. His thumb grazes over my trembling lower lip.
"You are so much stronger than you think, Grace Adams."
Unable to find words to reply, I pull away and climb out of the car. Before I close the door, I glance over my shoulder, a ghost of a smile on my lips.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
He grins at me. "I'm counting on it."
I close the door and bound up to the doorstep, still a little shaken up. The second I'm through the doorway, Jace jumps up off the couch.
He glances over me, panic washing over his face.
"Grace, what happened? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"
I catch a glimpse of my disheveled appearance in my reflection in the mirror and snort. My skirt, and much of my legs, are bloodstained, my jacket is barely covering my chest, and my hair looks like a flock of seagulls attacked it.
"Jace, I'm fine," I say soothingly, laying a hand on his upper arm. He visibly relaxes.
"Should I even ask?"
I shrug. "I ended up going to Tyler's ranch. One of their horses got out. I found her, and she was hurt, so I helped her. This is her blood."
A flurry of emotions runs across his face.
"You were around horses tonight."
"It's not a big deal," I say, brushing him off.
"Is the horse okay?"
"She will be. I'll tell you more in the morning, but I really just want to take a hot shower and go to bed," I say honestly, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Night, Jace."
Halfway up the stairs, I glance over my shoulder.
"I'm going back tomorrow."
Though I know he's trying to hide it, I see the corner of his lip tilt up in a smile.
A/N
I'm tired and have exams tomorrow, so no long author's note tonight.
Also, cast list is up. I had to throw in my celebrity crush (Aaron Tveit) because oh god, yes. Seriously, he's just *insert string of explicit descriptive words that I will not put here in the interest of sparing your innocence* ugh.
P.S. Despite his hotness, don't worry about Levi too much.
Random Quote: You're the book he never reads but he keeps you on his nightstand anyways.
Anyone else been there? It's excruciating.
Good luck on any testing you have to do this week, next week, etc.
Also, comment your last day of school! Mine is the 26th (three half days!!!)
Love you guys!
Oh, and I didn't edit, so if you see anything, please comment (nicely!)
Goodnight My Lovelies!