CHAPTER 3: Prichina
A/N: For this chapter I chose Hollow by Tori Kelly. Dunno why (insert laugh here) but I just like this song for this chapter. By the way, I label this chapter Prichina that means reason.
The butterflies turned to dust and, they covered my whole room.
- Taylor Swift
___________________________________________________________________________
"You didn't give a ring." He moved with a lethargic grace away from the window and sat on the edge of my bed.
"You're right, I didn't."
"Aren't you intrigued?" Panimula ni Cage.
Tinitignan ko lang ang bawat galaw ng aking di inaasahang panauhin. Cage Volkov. Ang taong matagal kong nakasama sa iniwan kong trabaho na kilalang kilala ko ̶ or so I thought. I stared at his face. Hindi sinasadyang pinag-aralan ko ang kanyang itsura, mula paa paakyat sa kanyang mukha habang siya ay nakaupo at ako naman ay nanatiling nakatayo malapit sa bintana.
He hadn't changed much in the past four years. Still looked striking even just in his white shirt and ripped denim. His big build carrying a strong aura that could not easily be shaken. His thin lips in contrast to his thick eye brows, sharp and proud nose, long eye lashes, dark as night orbs and chiseled hair. The man I adored and, I knew up until now I didn't and couldn't forget.
Our eyes met and a remembered flutter of heat ignited in the hollow of my stomach. I tried to ignore it. "No, I'm not. I'm tired." Naglakad ako palapit sa upuang naroon at umupo.I bent over and untied the laces of my shoes then kicked them off.
"You should at least hear the details before making any decision."
"Hindi ko kailangang marinig ang mga detalyeng dala mo," nagging sagot ko at napasandal sa inuupuan ko. "I'm not interested...and get off my bed. In fact, get out of my house."
To my irritation he moved and walked towards my direction. "Kailangan naming si Yellow Lynx dito. This is big...really big." Now that he was closer to me, I could smell the scent of his familiar cologne. The same scent I gave to him as my birthday present. I shook myself in my head.
"I don't care. Sinabi ko na sa'yo at uulitin ko. Hindi ako interesado. Now, get out."
"So I presume it doesn't matter to you that within few months' time thousands of men, women and children will probably be lifeless and you may be the only person to stop the bloodshed." He shrugged. "Lovely nightfall, Crouse." Nakipagtitigan muna siya sa akin bago ilagay ang kanyang mga kamay sa kanyang bulsa. He left my room and slammed the door shut.
It was bad enough the agency wanted me back, it was completely manipulation by them that they'd sent Cage to recruit me back. Hindi ko maiwasang mapabuntong-hininga. Si Cage ang kanilang ipinadala at 'di ko mawari ang aking isipan. Alam ko sa saliri ko na nagdadalawang isip ako.
"Damnation! What now if they sent Cage for that case?" I muttered as she removed my bag. As I placed the knife in the drawer next to her bed, she tried not to think about what he'd said.
"Of coure, that was Cage. He's living in your system until now at ngayon na lang ulit kayo nagkita pagkatapos ng mahabang panahon," my mind answered me back.
"But he betrayed me," mahina kong naging sagot sa aking isipan. Napapikit ako at parang nakita ko sa aking balintataw ang aking sarili at si Cage... masaya, tumatawa at ang kanyang pagtraydor...
"But, this is not just all about you and Cage and your forlorn lovestory, this is also about thousands of men, women and children lives at stake," napadilat ako ng mg mata sa sagot sa akin ng aking isipan. Thousands of people and I was the only person on the earth to stop the carnage. I'm sure Cage had added on that last part in an effort to appeal to my ego.Tatlong taon ko din ginugol ang aking buhay sa agency at kilala ko ang aking mga naging kasamahan sa training at trabaho, lalo na ang mga babae dahil kokonti lang kami doon. They are all effectively skilled, as I was.
"Screw them all for disturbing my uncomplicated life now," I exclaimed.
"...and your conscience," hirit pa talaga ng isip ko. I can't helped but hiss.
I sat up from where I'm sitting and went to the bath room. Dumeretso ako sa lababo at naghugas ng mukha. Pag-angat ko ng aking ulo ay nakita ko ang aking mukha sa salaming naroon. Babeng basa ang mukha, wala sa ayos ang buhok at mukhang naguguluhan ang aking nakikita.
Thousands of men, women and children will probably be lifeless and you may be the only person to stop the bloodshed. Damn them. And damn you, Cage for intruding back into my life.
Bumalik ako sa kwarto at nagsimulang magpalit ng damit pambahay. Ipinusod ko rin ang aking mahabang buhok. Thousands of men, women and children. What could possibly be looming in this underworld? Was it a terrorist plot of some sort? Certainly the world was ripe for such potential.
Screw you all, I thought once again as I yank open the doorknob of the bedroom. The scent of brewing coffee had just begun to build its way to my entire house.
With a new rise irritation welling up inside me, I followed the scent to the kitchen. I turned on the light and tsked at the sight of Cage. Prenteng nakaupo siya at may hawag na tasa ng umuusok na kape. Tinignan niya ang isa pang tasa ng kape na nasa mesa at ginalaw ang kanyang ulo ng ibinaling niya sa akin ang kanyang mata na parang nag-aanya.
"Fuck," I cursed. I wasn't sure what I hated more, the fact that he was sipping his coffe like he had all the time to do it in my house or that he knew me so well he'd anticipated my inability to remain totally uninvolved on all levels.
I threw myself into the chair opposite his, unsure if I was angry with him or angry with myself for playing right into his hands.
" Inaamin ko, napukaw mo ang interes ko pero wala akong maipapangako sa'yo nang kahit na ano," pag-uumpisa ko.
"Hmm. Naintindihan ko." He nodded. Uminom muna siya ng kape bago magsalita. "Ever hear of Pastor Tavares Han?" he asked drinking the fresh brew.
"Pastor Tavares Han?" I frowned. "I'm not sure, pero siya ba 'yung bagong pastor doon sa Fort Steele?" Cage moved with an almost feline grace that controlled with strength and power I knew him capable of.
"How much do you know about him?"
"Not that much. I remember Asia, my friend, telling me about this pastor moved to Fort Steele. A young, wealthy and good-looking pastor." Humugop ako ng kape at pag-angat ko ng aking ulo ko ay nakasalubong ko ang matalim niyang titig. Pinasingkit ko ang aking mata without breaking our staring battle. . It was easier to focus on the matter at hand than to sort out my emotions about seeing Cage again. "Why? What about him?
"A young, wealthy and good-looking pastor," pag-uulit niya habang nagpatango-tango. "He's a peace advocator. He was starting to run a hell a lot more than a few shelters and manage the rehabilitation center that the late Brother Luis Nevio left."Dagdag niya pa.
"Hindi ko maintindihan ang pinupunto mo dito at ang koneksyon nito sa pagkamatay ng sandamakmak na tao?" I asked impatiently. Cage had always liked the sound of his own voice. Always relaxed and as if talking some sort of a normal issues. He's always been like this.
"Mr. Han has lobbied for law changes, provided drug education and paid for anti-drug advertising. The agency began to monitor him and it found out that he was gaining amassing a cultlike following with the movers and shakers of the country not just because of his preaching but also because of what he can give to them, especially to those who manage the shelters and rehabilitation."
"Tsk. Why don't you just go straight point?" Naiirita kong tanong. Walang patutunguhan ang usapan kung wala namang sinasabing makabuluhan.
"Your'e always been like this – never build patience." He chukled. Nainis akong bigla sa kanyang tawa pero aaminin kong na miss ko iyon. "Bottom line... A month ago a new kind of amphetamine hits the street. It was called Red Solution because it has a faint red tinge to it. Isa itong likido na itinuturok sa pulsuhan. Dahil nga sa nauso na ang mga brain pills, sumikat din ito. But, accordingly more effective than those brain pills."
"I overheard a couple of times about this whizzing drug in the university," Naalala ko ang mga ikwinento sa akin ni Asia noong nakaraa nlamang. Isang manunulat sa dyaryo ang kanyang mga magulang kung kaya at madami siyang nasasagap na kwento mula rito. "Sabi pa nila na epektibo nga raw ito. Helping struggling students in their exam. Pero ang narinig ko pa hindi raw alam talaga kung saan ito nagmumula."
"Tama. Epektibo nga ito but, just like any other drug it has its own side effect. Way stronger than any cocaine or amphetamine in the market." I said and sat up straighter in my chair. "Few weeks ago it dried up. Wala ka nang makikitang nagbebenta ng Red Solution o kung meron man kokonti na lamang. Madaming naghahangad nito and the demand become huge but the supply is gone."
"Anong ngayon ang koneksyon ng Red Solution kay Tavares Han?"
"He supplied the original Red Solution, and then he pulled it off the market to create a massive demand."
I stared at Cage in disbelief. "That doesn't make sense. You just told me that the man is over-the-top anti-drug advocator and now retelling me that he becomes a drug czar? That's Insanity"
"Insane he must be, but there's a method behind the madness," Cage replied. He shoved his coffee mug to the side and leaned across the table toward her. "He's managed to create a huge supply of Red Solution and our sources tell us in the next couple of months he intends to flood the market with more Red Solution... except this time the drugs will be highly lethal. Papatayin niya lahat ng mga gagamit nito. He'll put the dealers out of business and rid the world of the scourge of drugs."
I leaned back in my chair, taken aback by the implication of what he'd just told me. "I don't think it will work," I said softly and drink from the cup. "The minute people started dying, we'd be able to get an alert to the public about the tainted drugs."
"Alam natin iyon at alam rin yan ng agency, but apparently Mr. Han he no longer think of those possibilities and has lost touch with reality." Cage's dark gaze held mine. "Nababaliw na nga talaga siya but, at the same time he's too intelligent to come up with this scheme."
"So, what are you doing here talking to me?"
"Kinakailangang may makapasok sa lahat ng bagay na konektado sa Red Solution at makalapit... get up close and personal to Mr. Han."
"And what makes you think I can get up close and personal to him?"
His gaze slowly slid up my length. I swallow the limp building in my throat when I saw him lick his lower lip. "Aside from drugs, Mr. Han loves chocolate. He has a weakness for sexy, long-legged woman with auburn hair and chocolate eyes."
The heat that had flickered to life in my stomach moments before intensified beneath his gaze. Humigop muna ako ng kape bago siya tanungin para tanggalin ang nakabara sa aking lalamunan dahil sa kanyang sinabi. "So how would somebody go about meeting Mr. Han?"
"A pastor he may be but he is still a man and he has an active night life. Napansing madalas siyang nasa Light Home, isang bar sa old street ng Gryffe Town." Gryffe Town is just the north-east of Fort Steele. "It's an upscale kind of place and his last two relationships have been with waitresses that work there. May contact ang agency doon sa Light Home at kung sino man ang ipapadala ay magiging cocktail waitress."
There was no way you were going to get roped into this scheme.
"Masyadong madaming babaeng agent ang pwedeng gumawa ng trabahong 'yan para abalahin niyo pa ko sa kasong 'yan. No. I'm not interested," matatag kong nagging sagot. Tumayo ako mula sa aking inuupuan daladala ang tasa ng kape. Nilapak ko ito sa lababo at pinatay ang coffeemaker bago humarap sa kanya. Huminga ako ng malalim bago ko dugtungan ang aking sinasabi. "Get somebody else. Masyado nang maayos at malayo sa komplikasyon ang buhay na mero ako ngayon para pumasok pang muli sa ganyang bagay."
"Okay, if that's the way you want it." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "I just thought maybe you'd be personally interested in this particular job."
I eyed him warily. "What do you mean...personally interested?"
He finished the last coffee in his cup. "Mr. Han and his team, the one who manage the rehabilitation centers have of course worked with drug addicts in this city and others for years. Sources tell us he maintains a data base with names of all people he's helped in the cities. It's possible at one time or another he ran into your mother. Hindi impossibleng mayroon siyang impormasyon tungkol sa iyong nanay at nakababatang kapatid."
"Umalis ka na," sabay kong talikod sa kanya. I was grateful my voice contained nothing more than the cold command, grateful that there was no indication of the emotions his words has stirred.
"Amarillo..."
"I mean it Cage. Get out of here. Now."
Sinimulan kong hugasan ang tasa na nasa lababo nang marinig ko ang papalapit na yabag ni Cage. I shivered when I felt his breath on my nape. Napatigil tuloy ang paggalaw ng aking mga kamay sa paghuhugas. Mula sa aking likuran ay kinuha niya ang tasa mula sa kamay ko at ibinaba ito sa lalabo kasabay ng paglapag niya ng isa pang baso – basong ginamit niya kanina na hawak ng isa niyang kamay. Nagmistula akong nakabilanggo sa kangyang mga bisig. I felt him inhale my scent and I held my breath. "One week, Amarillo. You have a week to make up your mind." With that he moved away from me.
Lumigon ako sa kanya at nagtama maging mga mata. He gave me his lopsided signature smile and I can't help but gasped. He was always like this, showing a lopsided smile even in a complicated situation or in a very serious conversation. And, I'm always been like this, always affected with his signature smiles. It felt like I'm having hard time breathing and my heart beats erratically. With how my system reacted, I can't deny I missed his smiles, his presence, and I missed these feelings.
He moved pass to the back door and grabbed the handle. "It's so nice seeing you again, moye solntse." With those final words he slipped through the door.
Moye solntse.
I drew several deep, cleansing breaths in an attempt to gain control of the emotions that threatened to surface.
Tinapos ko na ang paghuhugas at bumalik sa kwarto. Narinig kong tumunog ang aking cellphone. Agad ko itong kinuha sa mesa at tinigan kung sino ang tumawag. It was Asia. I thumped the answering icon.
"Hey, A. napatawag ka?"
" Iimbitahan sana kita Dilaw. Baka gusto mong sumama sa akin – I mean sa amin ng mga mga pinsan kong pumunta ng bar," sagot niya.
"Thanks A but no, I'm not coming. Pagod ako." Pagdadahilan ko.
"Woooow! Come on Dilaw. Get a life. Masyado kang boring, eh"
"I'm seriousl A, I'm tired. Galing ako sa The Speed kanina. Next time na lang siguro"
"Okay okay. Pero dapat kasi 'wag ka nang tumanggi at sumama ka na kasi, kasi parang na-miss kita," at sinabayan pa niya ng malakas na tawa.
Baliw. Naisip ko. I can't help but smile. Parating ganyan si Asia. " Ayos, hah. Parang hindi tayo nagkita kanina."
"Hayaan mo na," sabay tawa ulit. "Sa susunod huwag ka na talagang tumanggi."
"Okay."
"Ohright! Love you friend. See you tomorrow and sweet dreams."
"Okay, see – ," pinutol na niya ang tawag kahit hinhi pa ko tapos magsalita. She's such a clingy friend.
Inayos ko na ang aking higaan bago humiga. Ramdam ko ang pagod kahit wala naman ako masyadong ginawa sa araw na ito. Napabaling ako sa bintana kung saan nakatayo kanina si Cage at bigla kong naalala ang pinagsasasabi niya kanina. Pumasok sa isipan ko ang alaala ng aking nanay. Thoughts of my mother always brought with a strange combination of bittersweet longing and rage. I hate to admit it but the mingling of those two emotions was a tinge of reluctant excitement as the thought of me going back to work for the agency.
However, the most threatening, confusing emotions I felt at the moment concerned Cage. Dang it! I hated myself. Again, I thought I'd forgotten him. I'd worked so hard to forget everything about him. But seeing him again had forced memories back into my head...the memory of lying in his arms, of our laughter, of feeling his body against my own, of seeing him talking to his colleagues saying thing against me.
Bumalikwas ako ng bangon. Nagsimula akong maglakad at lumabas ng bahay. Dumerestso ako sa likurang kwarto na naroon. Puno ito ng gamit pang-ehersiyo. Inikot ko ang cotton white open weave bandage sa mga kamay ko at pagkatapos humarap sa punching bag. I delivered a roundhouse kick to the bag, then followed it up with a flurry punches that left my half breathless.
Moye solntse. Screw you Cage! Screw you all!
Damn them for contacting me again and for manipulating me with my past by making Cage the contact. As if it wasn't bad enough seeing him again, he'd gives me the one compelling reason I'd find it difficult to say no.