Again, not a one shot, but a list of things Bucky Barnes probably says on a daily basis:
1. How do I turn this on?
2. How do I turn this off?
3. Which one is the power button?
4. Don't touch my hair, I just conditioned.
5. Don't laugh at me.
6. Where's Steve?
7. Have you talked to Steve?
8. How do I FaceTime Steve?
9. Steve would never treat me this way.
10. I'm not ticklish.
11. STOP I'M TICKLISH.
12. Where's the space bar?
13. My arm isn't the only thing Hydra enhanced.
14. Wanna hear a joke? How many Steve's would it have taken to screw in a lightbulb back in the day? A lot because that dude was short asf.
15. No, I won't put pants on.
16. Let me live.
17. I'm a super-soldier, not a baby. Stop babying me.
18. Will you play with my hair?
19. Will you rub my back?
20. I am not a child.
21. Can we get a puppy?
22. Can we get a kitten?
23. Can we get a fish?
24. I'm going to Steve's.
25. I hate you.
26. I love you.
27. You're the best, babe.
28. I don't recall you falling off a train and losing your arm, but OK, go ahead. Be a drama queen.
29. I wear the pants in this relationship.
30. Babe, I'm tired. Cuddle?
31. No, I'm not shaving. A man's pride is in his beard.
32. I can't believe you made me shave.
33. Screw this; I'm going back to Hydra. At least they had better food.
34. Kisses?
35. Where's my goodnight text?
36. You didn't tell me you loved me this morning. Are you divorcing me?
37. What do you mean we're not married?
38. Can I borrow your socks? Those ones with the Aloe?
39. All my shirts are black because that is the color of my heart.
40. Why not? Not even a little light choking?
41. Am I scary? Steve said I can come across scary.
42. What is it like to have boobs?
43. Do you think they'd let me go into space or do you think the whole assassin thing is probably gonna be an issue?
44. I may not be an assassin anymore, but I'll still take your breath away.
45. The only guns I'm packing are these babies. *kisses biceps*
46. What do you mean I freak children out?
47. Touch my metal arm. Touch it.
48. Can I get a senior citizen discount?
49. I don't know who Caucasian Dora is but why do I look like it?
50. Stop calling me Gramps.