Jana-
(Been waiting to see that name, haven't ya? Eh? Yup. I knew it.)
Domino-
(Nah, I wouldn't do that to you for this chapter XD)
Jana-
Lifting his head, Jana leveled his eyes on his new parole panel. They hadn't told him that the people could change, and he knew little to nothing about the new people, except for Christopher. He had been early this time, instead of late, but Jana wasn't sure if he was happy about him being the only one he recognized.
Feeling familiar eyes on the back of his head made him relax his tense body slightly. Domino was allowed to sit in again, which was one of the reasons why Jana was able to sit mostly still. His left foot tapped, but his bare heel made no sound on the linoleum floor.
I love the rain. I can hear the thunder... His new voice thought to him as a rumble boomed overhead.
His body itched to go outside, and he would have requested to hold the whole scenario in the rain, but knew that it wouldn't work. People didn't normally like running through the rain, let alone sitting in it. He loved feeling the water pelt his tired. Loved the too-loud thunder as lightning cracked nearby, muting the voices.
I'll be one of the good ones, you'll see. His new voice reminded him, making Jana skeptical. He didn't trust it after he had felt himself nearly lose control of his own body when it first appeared. He'd hugged Tera and let Domino hold him. Fuck, he had wanted to get away. To lash out.
The light pressure in his mind from the other presence shrunk back slightly, then a little more when everyone's attention turned from his files they had been reviewing, to him.
"Hello, Jana. It's nice to meet you. We have all gone over your files again and would like to ask you a few questions, if you're ready?" A woman asked. He had a feeling that they'd introduced themselves before, but he hadn't cared to remember their names.
When he nodded, she smiled and leaned forward, arms on the desk, fake smile on her face.
"What do you plan to do with your life once you are allowed parole?"
The idea of answering the same as he had before came to mind, but then the voice from before nudged its way back into his thoughts. You would have to teach college, and it would be very hard to secure a job of that kind with your history. Try something a little smaller for now.
He didn't want something smaller. He wanted what he wanted! Anger welled in his chest as he felt his body tense. He wanted the voice gone. He didn't need it. I only want to help us, Jana. It reminded him, making his teeth grind together in frustration.
"Eventually... I want to be a chemistry teacher. Probably for college, because of my record." He growled out after another moment of tense silence.
The woman nodded, then opened her mouth to ask another question, but seemed to think better of it. She closed her mouth and allowed the man next to her, whom had a balding head and the girth of a small elephant, to take over.
"Our records indicate that you have someone willing to help you once you're out, so that you aren't on the streets. Is that person still willing to help?"
Jana fidgeted, looking over his shoulder at Domino for a brief moment before returning his attention to the man. "Yes. Plans have changed, though. Domino's friend has agreed to help me until he is out. I will have a place to live."
The man raised a brow. "The man's name?"
"I only know his first name. Orion." Jana replied.
The man grunted and nodded, then asked a few more simple questions that allowed Jana to relax slightly. He generally ignored the next person. Just gave them the answers he knew they'd want to hear. They were the truth, though. He just didn't like going into detail when it wasn't their business. When the woman who was speaking finally quieted after eight questions and turned her attention to Christopher, Jana's eyes followed hers and he swallowed nervously.
"Jana." Christopher said calmly as he leaned forward onto his elbows, palms on the desk that spread out across all four of them in front of Jana. "You've completed your beginner courses very early, and more than those required in our previous talk."
Instead of responding with words, Jana just nodded and held his breath. He knew the question would come again. His heart was already racing. Eyes dilating. It's okay, Jana. Deep breaths. The words will hurt, but they can never do as much damage as your actions. The voice cautioned him in a soothing voice he could barely hear over the sound of rushing blood thrumming in his ears.
"My little brother..." Christopher said quietly, diverting his eyes to the desk for a moment before raising them up. A ghost of a smile found its way to his lips as he gave a slight nod. "He would have been very proud of you."
Jana's breath caught as he felt immediate warm tears trek down his cheeks. His body shivered, the temperature in the room suddenly much colder than it had been moments ago. I know you miss him. I miss him, too. But he's watching us and I know that what Christopher says is true. The voice told him encouragingly. He didn't want to hear it, though. He wanted to run out of the room and find a quiet place. Find pain. I know you want to hide everything from everyone, but I'm not going to go away again. I won't leave you to suffer any longer.
Feeling a sharp sting in his left hand, Jana blinked away several more tears and looked down. Domino had his hand in both of his. He was using one to squeeze his fingers painfully while the other hid most of the action from the panel's view.
"You do deserve the praise, and more. You're going to do great things, Jana." Domino whispered softly against Jana's left ear before nudging his head with his own, then chuckling.
"We can go outside after this." He added, making Jana crack a small smile. The pouring rain would be nice.
Hearing shifting in front of him, Jana straightened in his old metal chair and looked up at the panel. "We have discussed our decision while you two were busy, as it did not seem to take long." The first woman said before turning to nod at Christopher.
Jana turned his attention to Christopher as the man stood, leaning forward as his hands perched on the desk. "If Orion can come get you, you may leave tonight. Your parole is granted under the conditions that you find a therapist to speak with once a week and they keep in contact with us. You must also enroll in college. I will help you with the cost in the next few weeks, because I think you'll be worth it."
His words sounded surreal. Even as the room cleared of people besides him, Tommy and Domino, Jana couldn't fathom what had happened. He felt sick to his stomach and his head began to buzz, like there was a beehive being built in his brain.
Up.
His feet were moving and someone was pulling his hand, but it wasn't until he felt the cold evening rain begin pelting his body that he was able to start getting his thoughts back together again. His eyes refocused, lashes keeping the water from blurring his vision as he just... looked.
Beyond the electric fences.
That's right. We're going there soon. His other voice added.
Hesitation swam through his veins and he took a step back. The voice in his mind fidgeted, but both of them calmed when he felt strong arms wrap around his waist gently. Domino's palms barely touched his sides, but it was just enough to stop his panic and not incite a new bout of it.
"It's a scary world out there... but Orion is a great man. He'll help you, so please don't hesitate to talk to him when you need something. I'll do everything I can to help you until I can get out. I already gave him the password to one of my bank accounts. There's enough money for you to get whatever you need... as long as you don't go by yourself one of those fancy ponies."
Awww! His new voice added.
Jana blinked, glancing up at Domino as the rain ran down his face in rivulets. "What about a normal pony?" He asked, a playful hint to his voice that bellied his true self. He even laughed after a moment when Domino's face remained blank from shock.
A nearly-muted bark drew his attention down to Terra as a loud rumble of thunder rolled overhead. The dog was soaked, but so were they. She'd likely become used to it, too, as he tended to wait until it was raining before taking her out, if an oncoming storm was clearly going to occur.
When she noticed him looking she barked again, then darted off into the field. Her paws kicked up mud and water, dirtying her golden coat and turning it into a mixture of dull browns.
Excitement surged within Jana's chest as he felt the weight of the day lift for a moment. His feet moved without needing the command. His body easily cut through the downpour, making short work of the large field that he'd run thousands upon thousands of times. As his bare feet sank into the muddy grass, he couldn't help but feel an odd sensation of peace wash over him with each new raindrop that touched his skin.
I won't be here tomorrow.
I won't wake up on my cot.
He slowed his running to a walk as nervousness tried to take over his relief again.
I'll have to be even stronger. Can I be stronger?
Familiar aggression began to rise in his thoughts, but then the voice returned, it's tone cheerful yet determined. You will have to be stronger, but there are many ways to be so. I think it will be a good chance to restart how we react to things.
He didn't like that idea at all. His reactions have kept him from being badly hurt on way more than one occasion.
Yet you hurt yourself.
He didn't want to lose his strength. His ability to fight.
Let others fight for you. Let them help support you.
Stopping in a cooling puddle that covered his feet up to his ankles, Jana let out a tired sigh and stared up at the darkening sky. If Orion could come get him, he would be leaving within hours.
Everything I know.
There is much more out there for you. The voice added.
Everyone I'm used to.
Friends are waiting. It said encouragingly.
He blinked away a mixture of water and tears, then looked down to see Terra sitting before him. Her fur was matted. Caked in layers of mud. Yet her eyes shone with a determination Jana had never truly felt, himself.
"I suppose... it couldn't hurt to try."