Chapter 20: When Did You Care So Much?
What was going on here? I continued to stare at phone as if it would explain what the hell just happened. My mother was in... Chicago. Of all places to be at this moment and time, it had to be here. I pressed my shaking and cold hands against my temples, my head throbbing at the thoughts in it.
Drug dealing.
Evan's mother.
My mother.
I couldn't take it anymore. I just couldn't escape anything, one thing just lead to another terrible thing. Life it sucked, that's just it, that's the only thing left. That was the only explanation for all these things that were happening. What was I going to do? How was I going to get her back? This was all her fault, getting caught up with him in the first place.
And here I was, again, getting her out of her problems. Why was it always me that had to go through this pain just for her sake? She was a grown woman for god's sake! I signed lightly and leaned my head back against the wall, struggling to keep the tears from falling out of my blurred eyes. There was too much going on, just plain too much.
The clock in the waiting room ticked quietly, filling the silent room and echoing in my skull. I had to tell my father what was going on. He'll think I was just bringing him troubles, being a total burden on him ever since I first got here. Maybe I needed to go away, to a boarding school and just get away from everything.
Signing, I moved forward in the seat before pushing myself on weak legs. Before I could make it to the door that lead out to the lobby so I could go home and cry myself back to hell, I heard Evan's voice.
"Something up?"
I laughed bitterly. "When is there never?"
Silence was my answer, just like always. I struggled to move my feet and walk towards the waiting room doors, feelings like a complete zombie. Outside, I snapped out of my trance when I heard the door slam close for a second time. Turning my head, I looked to see Evan leaning casually on the glass, staring me right in the eyes making shivers go down my back.
It was rather cold outside and my bare legs were shivering lightly. I still hadn't gotten the chance to take my morning shower or anything, stuck in the same clothes from yesterday. Grey track pants and a red hoodie, only a sports bra underneath. The coldness of the atmosphere seemed to go through my little amount of clothing and my skin until it had me chilled to the bones.
Holding his eye contact, I could feel my eyes blurring even more than before, the tears overlapping. I blinked furiously, turning my head away from him again and quickly walking in the direction of my house. What had I done with my skateboard? Did I leave back at the park yesterday as well? I tried to distract myself, thinking about where I left the stupid thing, but my mind continued to turn back to that one horrible subject.
He had my mother.
He was the drug leader.
And he had my mother.
The equation reeked of nothing but horror. What was I going to do? Wrapping arms around my waist I moved at a brisk pace, my mid-section went from throbbing to hammering and I was forced to slow down. I didn't notice the tears falling down my cheeks until a salt taste dipped inside my mouth. I couldn't take it anymore, fuck trying to be strong.
I clasped in the someone's yard grass and brought my knees up to my chest, crying into them. I wrapped my arms around my face so I could block out how the sun was shining light down between thick dark grey skies. A brisk wind slapped against my back as I bawled my eyes out, feeling weak and hopeless.
But more importantly, I felt tired.
"I'm sorry, Katherine."
My crying couldn't disguise out that voice, it would never be able to do such a thing. Hurriedly, I wiped my face before looking up at Evan. Shaking my head, I retorted, "Like you give a flying shit ball. Leave me alone, Evan."
I glared at him, the boy who had rejected me and lead me on. Or maybe it was just me. I was stupid enough to get caught up in this situation with him. Yeah, Katherine. This is all your fault. What did you say that day? I hang out with whoever I want to hang out with. Right, how stupid are you? Do you see where that statement has lead to?
Rejection, drugs, and death.
My lesson was learned. I buried my face back into my arms and pressed my forehead against my knees, feeling a light raindrop hit my bare neck. I sniffed but it seemed like all my tears were done. There was no more to let out, I was too exhausted to cry anymore. A sharp hissing pain came from my stomach, not liking the position I was in at all. Stiffly, I shifted until I could get myself back up to my feet, barely noticing that Evan was still watching me.
Barely.
But I knew he was, I could see him out the corner of my eye. Trudging along the sidewalk, I started the long walk back home, ready to deliver the terrible news to my father.
Boarding school, here comes Katherine.
I signed. Even in this situation my brain thought it was good to make such unfunny remarks. Each step I took, another echoed in the silent and eerie surroundings. I looked over my shoulder and glared at Evan.
"Stop following me. Please." I hissed with narrowed eyes, though my heartstrings pulled for him to stay my brain was telling me otherwise.
I'll never have a chance with that. I might as well just give up and let him and Bridget get together, who cares?
I do though, I care. Too much.
I turned back forward just as the rain began to smash down on my head. Well at least the weather matched my mood. Down right terrible. I continued to trudge my slow way into the fogging air, cars began to appear more often. The sounds of the loud horns and screeching of the tires filled the air along with the heavy rain pounding.
Did the weather change so quickly over here? Wasn't it just sunny yesterday? I couldn't even remember from all the events that happened. Thoughts of what happened filled my mind. The only that continued to replay was Jeremy and the fight between Evan and James. Why was Evan there in the first place anyways?
Suddenly, a loud blaring blasted in my ears and I snapped quickly out of the little daze I had gotten into. Bright white lights blinded my eyes as I turned my head, time seemed to slow down. Tight arms went around my waist and time sped up again. I slammed into the ground, my hands sliding forward on the cement as I tried to break my fall. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt my body roll over once.
Loud yelling, something about the light and signs and others plain screaming. My ears were ringing softly before it cooled down and a familiar voice was clear above all the others.
"What is your bloody problem? Do you not know your colors?"
I forced my tightly shut eyes to open, black dots blocking my vision. Quickly, I blinked until they disappeared, my back laying with a light pounding ache on the cement. And inches from my face was Evan, his hands on either side of my face as if he was doing a push up, his hair tickling my nose. He was glaring at my furiously before pushing himself off me.
My cheeks were burning as I mumbled something that I was sure wasn't English. A firm hand gripped my cold and wet hand, helping me to my feet. The rain drenched my hoodie and it was like dead weight on my body, almost knocking me right back to the ground with the heaviness of it.
Looking around, I noticed that we were on the sidewalk and behind us was the intersection. Cars stopping for the light that was now red and the little sign was blinking the word "Walk".
"What just happened?" I asked, still dazed as what was going on around me.
"What just happened?" Evan repeated, shaking my shoulder a little. "You almost got ran over."
"I did?" I asked, Evan's hand still gripped my hand tightly and I liked the warmth that swept up my arm and crawled through the wetness. That was, until I felt a sharp pain coming from them and I gently tugged my hand away, looking down at the scraps and scratches that had appeared when I had slid on the ground, trying to break my fall.
I winced at the blood the tickled out form the deepest ones and felt eyes glaring at me. I looked up and noticed that Evan was still glaring down at me.
"You really are a piece of work." Evan retorted. "Just what would have happened if I hadn't been here? You'll be dead."
I raised an eyebrow at him. "When did you care so much?"
That shut him up quicker than I thought it would. His jaw clenched and he turned his head away from me, glaring down the path of the sidewalk, his hair sticking to his eyes as it went from damp to completely wet. Before I could stop myself, I was wiping my hands on my shorts and then wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face into his cotton shirt.
And then I was crying again. His warmth, his body, me just pressing against him, it made a wave of emotional sickness hit me all at once. A wave that wanted to cover me in complete darkness. I cried for Jeremy all over again. And I found myself mumbling two words, the words choking to come out my mouth, stuttering and struggling, but yet they came out and repeated themselves over and over again.
"My mother."
- - -
Sorry it took so long for me to update! And then this isn't all that long, sorry for that as well! So I hope you like it, this chapter was kind of cliche wasn't it? So sorry! I'm trying to add a lot of twists to this to not make it boring and predictable. But please tell me if you don't like this and why! I went through and took out a lot of the cursing since some say it was a little over the top, so its way less then what it used to be. :):)
I just made it over to my Aunt house. Volleyball took forever! But here I am and I should be over here for a while. (I hope). So I'll try to update throughout the night! I hope you like this chapter, thanks for your support!
-Destinyxoxo