No One’s Point of View:
Pattie’s heart skipped a beat as the unforeseen name flew from Justin’s lips. “Kelsey?” She questioned, baffled; unsure if she heard right as she looked up at her son with nothing but confusion in her eyes. Sitting up as far as she could with Justin towering over her protectively, Pattie cupped his face into her hands. “What about Kelsey, Justin?”
An eerie silence fell over as Justin stared frantic eyed over towards the direction in which the bomb was heard. Everything froze around him and all he could hear was the distant screams of help, a familiar pull at his chest as the memories came flooding back, recalling a time in his life where he had endured the exact same situation.
“Justin…” She whispered painfully upon noticing how Justin looked as though he saw a ghost, no color presuming to show on his face. “Honey, what happened to Kelsey?” Forcing him to look into her eyes, Pattie nearly gasped at the blackness she found in them.
“They took her.” He whispered pain etched with each syllable he pronounced. “They—you… he made me choose. He told me I had a choice, you or Kelsey. I—I picked you…” Shaking his head, Justin tore his gaze as he looked up towards the sky now filling up with smoke, dread suffocating him from the inside out. “I couldn’t let you die because of me…”
Thinking back to the moment where Cole had visited Pattie, realization began to kick in as she remembered the conversation they had. Parting her lips, she let out a shaky breath. “He—he told me something about you choosing, he told me but I—I didn’t know what he was talking about...” Pattie shook her head, trying to make sense of the situation. “This entire time he had both me and Kelsey?”
“He wanted me to pick between the two women in my life that I couldn’t bear to lose.” Justin uttered breathlessly, “He had you both on opposite sides but I only had six minutes. I—I couldn’t let you suffer in a life I chose for myself. I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if I lost you too.” Justin swallowed hard as he parted his lips, “I told Bruce to get her… I told him that he had to save her. That explosion… that was her, she’s in there, she’s—” Scrambling to stand, Justin nearly tripped over his two feet. “We have to go.” He rushed as he grabbed his mom by her hand, “We have to make sure she’s okay.”
Running to his car, Justin helped his mother into the passenger seat before making his way around to the driver’s side. With shaking hands, he pulled out of the driveway, making it onto the road where he sped down the countless streets, his mind in a haze.
Leaning over, Pattie grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “She’s going to be okay.” She comforted, swiping the padding of her thumb across his skin.
Closing his eyes for a brief moment, Justin pulled her hand up to his lips, giving it a gentle peck. “I’m sorry.” He painfully whispered, refusing to meet her eyes as he shamefully looked ahead, nothing but guilt eating him up inside.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Pattie found herself drowning in the sorrows of what her son held inside of him. She couldn’t comprehend what had happened tonight and no matter how hard she tried to forget it, she couldn’t but she’d be damned if she ever let Justin take the blame.
Pulling the car over towards the side of the road, Justin’s heart nearly leaped out of his chest at the amount of damage done. The warehouse where Kelsey had resided in was in flames, nothing but simple remains of the building on the floor.
Caution tape was wrapped all around the perimeter, permitting anyone from entering. Crime cars crowded the area as both police and fireman stood on every corner talking amongst them, all in deep conversation about what had happened.
Hurrying out of his car with Pattie right beside him, Justin forced his way under the tape and onto the scene, his mind reeling with where Kelsey could be. “Kelsey?” He shouted, waving his hand in front of him as he swiped away the smoke that clogged his vision, running over to the collapsed doors that once led inside the warehouse. “Kelsey!” Justin screamed, covering his mouth with the curve of his arm so that he was prevented from inhaling the intoxication while kicking and pulling at the remains of the building, desperate to get inside and search for his fiancé, praying to God that he didn’t lose her tonight. “Please, not again.” He begged desperately.
“Ay!” An officer whom Justin didn’t recognize held him back, stopping him from running inside the building. “This is a closed off area and it’s far too dangerous for anyone to be here right now.”
“Get the fuck off of me!” Justin shoved the man off of him as he began fighting his way inside once more when two others made their way over to him, keeping him away from the burning building.
“I can’t let you go in there, sir. I’m going to need you to calm down!” One of them held onto Justin while the other shouted instructions angering Justin even more.
“You’re wasting time! She could be dying right now!” Justin shouted in retaliation, his face red from fury.
“Justin…” Pattie began softly, fearing for her son’s life as she watched him fight against anybody and everybody who went near him. “Listen to them; these people know what they’re doing—”
“They don’t know shit!” Justin growled angrily as he used all of his strength to pull out of their hold, pushing them both away. “If they did, they would’ve saved Jazzy that night! They would’ve done something to bring her back to us! If they knew what they were doing they wouldn’t be here right now, they would be inside this fucking building redeeming my fucking fiancé!” Justin’s voice echoed, his chest heaving up and down silencing everyone as they turned to see what was going on.
“Sir, we are doing the best we can to assure the safety of everybody in this building. I’m going to need you to calm down and let us do our job.” The officer spoke slowly as though he were talking to a child only angering Justin more.
“They could be dead right now and you’re telling me to calm down?” Justin emphasized in disbelief.
“Justin,” Pattie strained enough to capture her son’s attention.
“What?” He spat, turning to her with nothing but rage in his eyes however that didn’t faze Pattie as she stood her ground, her gaze softening as she gestured with the side of her head over to the left of her.
Furrowing his eyebrows, Justin followed the direction in which she pointed to, opening his mouth to retaliate when he met Kelsey’s eyes staring lifelessly over at him, her chapped lips pressed together in a firm line as her chin quivered, Bruce right beside her, rubbing her arm up and down in a comfortingmanner.
Justin’s Point of View:
Without saying a word, I stood staring at Kelsey for what felt like ages, neither one of us saying or doing anything as she cradled her body into the wool blanket currently giving her the warmth she needed.
A leap of faith struck me upon realizing that she was alive but that didn’t stop my entire body from numbing itself entirely.
Licking my lips, I took a hesitant step forward, not sure of what to say or do. “Are you okay?” I asked absentmindedly, mentally scolding myself for inquiring such a ridiculous question knowing there was no way in hell she could ever be okay after what had happened tonight.
Parting her lips as her mouth hung open in response; I was met with silence as she shook her head. Tucking the strands of her hair behind her ears, Kelsey looked down at her fingers, her entire body shaking. “You want to know, if I’m okay?” She whispered more to herself than me.
Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I bit the inside of my cheek as my jaw clenched and unclenched repeatedly. “Look at me,” I commanded softly.
Wincing, Kelsey tightened her eyes together as though she were in pain, shaking her head from side to side. “No.”
Taken back by her reaction, my stomach twisted painfully. “Kelsey… look at me,” I pleaded, trying for her reaction once more.
Kelsey dug her teeth into her bottom lip, covering her ears with her hands.
Forcing myself to walk over to her, I pressed my palm to her cheek, gently coaxing her head up as I brushed my fingers across her cheek, “Hey,” I whispered gently, “It’s just me.”
A whimper fell from Kelsey’s lips they trembled, nothing but fear radiating off her body sending a shiver of chills down my spine.
Upon noticing what was going on, Bruce shared a knowing look with me before gently running his hand up and down Kelsey’s back. “Kelsey, it’s Bruce. You’re okay; it’s just Justin. You’re safe now; nobody’s going to hurt you.”
Upon hearing his words, Kelsey slowly relaxed into my hand as she weighed into my palm. Reaching up to grab my hand, a hum of relief was heard as she peeled her eyes open to look at me. “Justin…” She tested my name out as if she were hallucinating.
“It’s okay,” I gently soothed, smoothing her hair over with my other hand as I rested my forehead against hers, “I’m here now.”
Winded, she leaped into my arms, her own wrapping around my neck as she began sobbing into my neck in understanding of the matter.
Holding her tight against my chest, I closed my eyes in agony, relishing in the feel of her body this close to mine, fearing that if I pulled away, she’d disappear from me again. “I’m here baby, I’m here…” Running my fingers through her hair, I kissed her temple, feeling nothing but dread consume me.
Bruce stood off to the side, giving us our privacy as he spoke to a nurse who had come by presumably to check up on them.
Pulling away, Kelsey wiped her face clean with her hands, “Justin—” Cutting herself off momentarily as her eyes widened in surprise; she peered over my shoulder. “Pattie…?” She wheezed, tears pooling to the tips of her lids once more. “Oh my God, not you too,” Kelsey cupped her mouth as she shook her head in incredulity. Finding my eyes just as I looked away, I could see the sadness that swirled inside of them and I refused to meet her disappointment.
Feeling her brush past me and over to my mom, I watched as they cupped each other in an embrace, a secret communication in which only they understood.
As Bruce neared, I looked at him. “What happened?”
“We made it out at the very last second.” Bruce informed as he stood in front of me, his face covered in ashes resembling Kelsey’s. “He had her locked in a fucking box, it would’ve been almost impossible to get her out if it wasn’t for my gun.” Bruce shook his head, his eyes dry of emotion. “I knew we didn’t have enough time to get out, we ended up going into the basement and then I took her out through the back just as the bomb went off.”
Rubbing the side of my face, I looked up into the sky. “You saved her…” I shrugged, “That’s all that matters.” I whispered, “Thank you.”
“I’d do it all over again if I had to. I’ve got you man. I’d kill to save that girl, you should know that. You don’t have to thank me just tell me you’ll get revenge on that son of a bitch and we’ll call it even.”
My eyes darkened. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”
“Good because there’s something you need to know…”
My head began pounding as if somebody was hitting it with a hammer. “What?”
“When I found her, she was chained to a bed,” Putting his hands up in a way of saying he wasn’t sure about what he was about to say, Bruce shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know what happened…” He trailed off, scratching the back of his neck, “but I saw her neck and somebody marked her, Justin.”
Gritting my teeth together, I fought against the bile that rose in my throat at the image of somebody holding her down. I tightened my fists. “So you mean to tell me… that they forced themselves on her? Is that why she was afraid to look at me?”
“I don’t know what happened tonight and I could be wrong but the last time I checked, you didn’t leave a hickey on her neck.”
Wincing, I held my breath, not wanting to envision somebody other than me putting their hands on her. “Jesus Christ,” I muttered angrily, balling my hands into fists at my sides, preparing myself for the worst.
“I’m telling you now; if something happened…” Bruce warned, “You gotta control yourself in front of her. I can see it in your eyes, you’re drowning and the only thing you know how to do at this point is to push everything and everyone you love away and that’s just something you can’t do that. Not after everything you both had endured.”
I forced myself to remain calm, the storm brewing inside my head increasing as the wind started picking up and I knew deep in the pit of my ambiance that there was only a matter of time before a hurricane formed and everything that I came in contact with shattered into a million pieces.
Exhaling deeply, my eyes traveled fleetingly over to both Kelsey and my mom, nothing but a wave of responsibility flooding me from head to toe, “No matter what I say or do or how I try to get our lives back to how it was before… nothing will ever be the same again.”
“Don’t say that—” Bruce began but I immediately cut him off.
“I only had eight minutes and I know that I should’ve gone after Kelsey but the thought of anything happening to my mom … I would’ve never been able to live with myself. She’s innocent; she didn’t want any part in it my business but she was dragged into this mess because of me.” I pointed to myself, “Icaused all this…” Shaking my head, I forced myself to look away. “There was no bomb at the warehouse. He knew I would go after my mom and leave Kelsey on her own.”
Bruce sighed, catching my wary gaze. “You love Kelsey Justin, there’s no doubt about it but at the end of the day, your mother brought you into this world. If it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t even be standing here right now. You picked right no matter what your heart is telling you right now.” He cupped my shoulder into his palm, pulling me closer, “Deep down inside, you know if this were to happen again, you’d choose the same.”
“I can’t get the thought of her dying out of my head,” I admitted, everything around me becoming a blur. “When I heard the explosion and it wasn’t coming from the warehouse behind me, I knew that it belonged to her and that there was a fifty-fifty chance she survived.”
“She’s alive, that’s all that should matter.” Bruce sent me a knowing glance, nothing but confidence in his words but I could tell by the way he refused to meet my eyes that he felt it too. The torture of what our life has become but we had nobody but ourselves to blame because we chose this. We wanted this.
But the people we loved didn’t and it was because of us that they were suffering and that all in itself was a curse.
Licking my lips, I stared out into the hectic scene behind us to see more officers lining up outside the building trying to figure out what had happened. “Yeah well just a couple of hours ago she was at the brink of her death.” I mumbled, turning away from him before he had the chance to say anything else. “Come on,” I shouted over to my mom and Kelsey, “I’m taking you home.”
Kelsey’s Point of View:
Silence consumed the air as we all sat awkwardly in place, Bruce and I in the back while Pattie occupied the passenger seat.
With the blanket still wrapped around my frame, I tucked it under my chin fighting against the urge to say something as I snuck a few glances over at Justin, knowing exactly what was going on through his head.
The way he didn’t stray from the road ahead, the skin on his knuckles turning white from the amount of strength he put into his hold and his cheeks pulled in… he was overthinking everything and overthinking in his case meant blaming and there was only one person he was blaming… and that was himself.
Opening my mouth in hopes to say something, nothing came out but a breath of hot air as I slouched my shoulders, disappointed in myself.
I was so weak and tired, my body fighting against my yearning to think any longer, the sore spot on my neck burning my flesh in reminder.
Covering it with my palm, I winced at the tenderness, the feel of his teeth pulling and tugging at the skin still fresh in my mind.
“Are you okay?” Bruce whispered lightly.
Nodding, I quickly pulled the blanket over, casing myself back up again. “Yeah,” I murmured, “I’m fine…” Looking out the window I felt my stomach churn at the familiarity of the area. We were nearing the house and with every blur of the trees we passed, my stomach bubbled with uncertainty.
Digging my nails into the leather seat of the car, I bit my lip knowing that Justin was going to drop Bruce and me off before leaving to take Pattie home and something about that made me feel queasy inside. My throat burned with the dryness from the lack of hydration I had received as I swallowed time and time again, trying to moisturize enough to be able to talk.
“Justin—” Cutting myself off as I sat there with my mouth hanging open, my unspoken words lingering in the air, I merely cleared my throat, shaking my head.
“What?”
“Nothing,” I murmured, brushing away the pieces of my hair that fell in front of my face. “I—never mind.”
“Kelsey…” Justin began, his eyes warning me from the rearview mirror as they flashed black telling me that his patience was running thin.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I looked down at my hands, “A-are you dropping us off home?” I motioned between Bruce and me.
“Yes.” He responded curtly.
“Justin, I don’t think you should—”
“Don’t, Kelsey,” Justin cut me off, knowing exactly where I was going with this. “I have to do this on my own, okay? I’ll be home in a few minutes, I won’t take long, I promise. Just… don’t.” He growled lowly under his breath, his defined jaw twitching in disapproval.
Pressing my lips together, I felt the tears whelm up in my eyes knowing exactly what was going to happen the moment he faced Jeremy and Jaxon.
Blinking them away, I watched as Justin drove up the driveway, leaving the car running as he waited for us to get out. Slowly but surely, I opened the car door, my hands shaking. Pausing for a moment, I didn’t strain to look back as I looked over at the front lawn. “Just… be careful.” I whispered as I exited the car, Bruce right behind me.
Closing the door, I watched as Justin backed out, skid marks left on the street as he sped down it, disappearing out of sight.
Jumping slightly from the hand on my back, I turned to see Bruce staring sympathetically down at me, “Come on,” He gestured back towards the house, “Let’s head in.”
Nodding, I walked up the stairs, turning the knob that led into the house, an eerie feeling crawling down my back as I stepped foot into the one place I once thought was safe.
Instantly a gasp emitted from somebody nearby and as I looked up, I spotted Carly hurriedly standing from the couch as she ran over to me, the both of us instantly crying into each other’s arms. “Oh my God, you’re okay!” She gushed, “I’m so sorry,” Carly shook her head, clutching onto me. “I should’ve listened to you; this is my entire fault—”
“No, this is nobody’s fault,” I shook my head, pulling away as I sniffled. “They’re sick in the head. All of them, this has nothing to do with you or me.” I reassured, refusing to let anybody take the blame for what happened. “You couldn’t have known… none of us could.”
“But if I would’ve listened to you about Connie—”
“This was a set up Carly and you know it.” I cut her off, “It was all just a trick for them to get to us both.” I held her by her shoulders, “I know why you trusted her and I can’t exactly blame you because I put my trust in somebody I thought…” Looking down at my feet, I felt as though a ton of bricks were weighing my body down.
“Spencer!” I cried in surprise, happy to see him, knowing he’d protect me. “You have to help me get out of here.”
Finding my eyes, I was taken aback by the dullness inside of his. “And why would I do that?” He numbly questioned.
“Isn’t that why you’re here…?” I trailed off, my eyes switching between him and Cole as realization soon began to settle in.
“I’m here for a lot of things but saving you ain’t one of them.” Spencer shrugged as he took a smoke from Cole.
Licking my lips, I swallowed hard, afraid of what my answer would be, “You-you know him?”
“Know me?” Cole scoffed, flicking ashes into the air as he blew out smoke. “He works for us.”
Closing my eyes, I shook my head, not being able to believe my ears. “N-no… no, that’s impossible. Spencer works for Justin. He-he’s my—”
“What?” Cole chuckled, “Watch dog?”
Pressing my lips together, I felt my cheeks heat up at the embarrassment of the situation. “This has got to be a joke… you can’t—no. This is not happening right now. Spencer, get me out of here!”
“No.” He replied monotonously. “Now shut the fuck up you stupid bitch.” He growled lowly, his face set in stone as he stared lifelessly at me.
“Spencer…” I felt light headed as I slowly came to terms with what was going on.
“Now isn’t this touching?” Cole faked enthusiasm as he laid a hand to his chest. “It must suck to know that somebody you put all your trust into turned out to be somebody else.”
“Why are you doing this? I… I was nothing but a friend to you! You… you,” I shook my head, “This entire time, it was all just an act?”
“What the hell else did you think it was? That I actually cared about you or your fucking fiancé?” He spat the term with disgust. “It was all part of the plan to get you to trust me and it worked. You fell for it and now thanks to you, you made it easier for me to finish the job.”
Wincing at how naïve I was, I blinked back to reality, feeling the wetness on my cheeks. Looking into the eyes of my bestfriend, I could see that she knew exactly what I was thinking and for once, nobody, not even Justin, knew how I felt inside.
Pulling me into another hug, Carly latched onto me tightly, digging her head in the nape of my neck. “I love you.” She muffled.
“I love you too.”
Justin’s Point of View:
My mom had just gotten off the phone with my dad and I could see it in her face that this wasn’t going to be pretty. She tried to pass it off like everything was fine, smiling over at me and holding my hand but nothing she did could shake off the feeling that this was probably going to be the last time I ever saw her again.
Turning onto her street, I curled my fingers around the steering wheel even tighter than I ever had before, dreading the moment I’d have to face my father after what happened.
The familiarity of the situation was almost too much to bear as bile rose in my throat, stomach compressing into a tight knot as I neared the house. Holding my breath the moment I made out the outline of my father’s body, I slowed the car down.
Cutting the engine, I didn’t bother to say anything as my mom gave my hand one last squeeze, her body leaning over while she placed a simple kiss to my cheek before exiting the car, my dad instantly pulling her into an embrace.
Getting out of the car as well, I stood off to the side, watching as Jaxon hurried over to our mom, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.
“You,” I forced myself to meet my dad’s cold, dark eyes as he showed nothing but hatred towards me. “You did this.” He harshly spat while advancing towards me, “You… animal!”
“Jeremy…” My mom began but was stopped when he put his hand up, silencing her immediately.
“Don’t you dare defend him Patricia!” He hissed angrily, “Don’t you dare stick up for this boy!” He pointed towards me, Jaxon watching it all as he held our mom back.
“That boy,” She emphasized with disbelief, “Is your son and if it wasn’t for him, I would be dead right now!” She tried to reason but I could see that there was no changing his mind.
“You could’ve almost died!” He screamed his face red with fury. “God damnit, you wouldn’t have even been tangled into this mess if it wasn’t for him!”
“You have no idea what he’s been through tonight, Jeremy! Don’t you dare go pointing fingers because you know damn well none of us are perfect!” She spat, standing her ground against my father.
“Do you hear yourself right now? You were just kidnapped because of him! Those people could’ve taken you away from us tonight!” He roared, “And he’d probably shed a tear or two and go on about his day while we’re all left to suffer because of his actions! I lost my daughter and I sure as hell am not about to lose my wife too!” His chest heaved up and down from resentment, “I am not about to stand here and let him walk away thinking that what happened was okay!”
“None if this is okay!” I snapped, “You don’t think I know that?” I exasperated, pointing to myself. “You don’t think that I know this is my entire fault?” I screamed, “None of this will ever be okay.”
“Don’t,” Jaxon spat towards me, shooting daggers in my direction, the loathing he had for me radiating off of him, “You have no say in this,” He shook his head, “not after what happened.” His chin quivered from the anger he felt inside, “I tried with you… I tried so hard to just bury the incident in the past and move on because you were my brother and I needed you in my life...”
“Jax—”
“Mom almost died tonight because of you!” He screamed, bringing my mom over to my dad as he grabbed me by the shoulders. “How many people have to die in order for you to realize what the fuck you’re doing?” He shook me hard, his face inches from mine. “Huh?”
Clenching my jaw, I looked away, feeling the frustrations build inside of me.
“No,” Jaxon grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. “You are not going to stand there and ignore me! I know deep down inside of you my brother is still there…” He trailed off, his hold on me loosening. “Somewhere, the guy who taught me how to ride my bike and play baseball… you just gotta get him out and bury this monster you’ve become inside of you.”
“Get the fuck off me,” I mumbled, pushing his hands off of me as I stuffed my hands in my pockets, fishing out a cigarette and a lighter.
Jaxon stared at me incredulously, “What have you done with my brother?”
“You’re staring at him.”
“No,” He shook his head, taking a step back. “I’m staring at a stranger… this,” He gestured up and down at me, “is not my brother because my brother wouldn’t be standing here looking unaffected. My brother would be feeling something right now; he would be fighting for us!”
“What do you want me to say?” I shrugged, looking at him as I blew out a perfect ring of smoke. “Hm? You want me to drop to my knees and beg for you to forgive me?” I scoffed, “Me and you both know that won’t work. Nothing is going to change the way you think about me and that’s fine.”
“What I want is for you to take credit for your actions! I want you to feel remorse; I want you to say something, anything that shows you aren’t entirely dead to me.”
“Don’t even waste your time son,” My dad cut in as he pulled Jaxon back so that he stood behind him. “Your brother has been dead to us ever since he left this household five years ago.” Lifting his arm, he rounded his fist into my jaw, sending my face flying to the right.
“Jeremy!” My mother yelled in shock.
Spitting blood to the side of me, I cracked my neck before stretching my fingers out and closing them in where I turned, throwing a fist of my own out of reflex, sending my dad flying to the ground.
Before I knew it, we both ended up on the floor, fists flying in all directions until Jaxon came and pulled us apart.
“You bastard!” My dad screamed, “You worthless pieces of shit! The nerve you have to lay your fucking hands on me! You’re the one who ripped this family apart, not me! It’s because of you that we suffer every day to try and get our lives back to normal!” He bellowed spit flying with every word he spoke.
“I didn’t ask for this!” I shoved Jaxon off of me, straightening my shirt. “I didn’t know this was going to happen, I thought she was safe!” I gestured over at her, “If I knew, I would’ve done everything in my power to ensure she was out of harm’s way!”
“Nobody associated with you is ever safe!” My dad barked, “First your sister now your mother, who’s going to be next? I already lost two children in my life, I’m not about to lose my entire family.”
Taking a step towards me so that we were head to head, he looked down upon me as if I were the dirt on his shoe. “You’re a monster, a cold-blooded murderer who destroys everything he touches.” He hissed venomously. “You are to never come in contact with us, do you understand me?”
“You don’t have to worry about that because you won’t be hearing from me ever again.” I bit back, whirling on the heels of my shoes as I stalked back to my car.
“No!” My mom shrieked loudly, hitting my father in the chest as she ran after me, clutching onto my arm while she tugged on it, pulling me backwards. “Don’t you dare,” She warned, “Don’t you dare walk away from me!” She shrieked. “I am not going to let you walk away from this family.”
“What family?” I chuckled humorlessly, “The one I broke?” Ripping my arm away, refusing to turn and meet her frantic gaze, I began walking away again. “It’s too late.”
“No! It’s never too late Justin, they’re upset and angry. All they need is some time to get their thoughts together.” She cried, grabbing the base of my neck with one hand as she turned my face with the other. “Please, don’t do this to me. I need you,” She whimpered, “You’re my son… I gave birth to you, I fed you, I nurtured you, I did everything I could to make sure you grew up to have the best life possible. I don’t deserve this!”
“No.” Grabbing her hands, I held them at bay. “What you don’t deserve is a screw up for a son. I’ve accepted the fact that I will always have a target on my back but I’m sick and tired of you living your life every day in fear of being shot every time you walk outside.” Cupping the back of her head, I pressed a kiss to her forehead as she closed her eyes, savoring the feel of my lips against her skin. “I want you to forget about me.”
“No,” She shook her head, clutching onto my shirt as she fisted it into her hands. “Please, Justin…”
“I’m sorry for everything…” I murmured, “I love you.” Ripping away from her hold, I walked away, leaving her standing there alone; her quiet sobs the last thing I heard before slamming the car door closed beside me and retreating back onto the road, their faces now a simple memory in my mind.
Kelsey’s Point of View:
Taking a cautious step into the kitchen, I felt all eyes on me as I took a look around the room before drifting towards the floor, realizing that somebody had cleaned up the mess left behind.
“Are you looking for something?” Marco asked from behind as he stood with his hands in his pockets, eyes warily watching my every move.
“I just wanted some water,” I croaked, my voice scratchy.
Nodding, he kept his eyes trained on me as I walked over to the cupboard, opening it and grabbing myself a glass before placing it on the counter and walking over to the refrigerator. Taking out a gallon of water, I walked back over to where my glass lay, an aching forming in my chest as I stared at it.
“Kelsey…”
Shaking my head, I looked up to see Marco peering over at me. “Hm?”
“Do you want me to pour it for you?” He gestured towards the beverage in my hold.
I shook my head, giving him a small smile. “No, it’s okay.”
“Are you sure because your hands are shaking…” He uneasily pointed out, worry in his eyes as I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
Looking down, it was then that I realized he was right. Frowning, I curled my fingers inwards before flexing them, trying to calm my nerves but nothing seemed to work.
Closing my eyes, I tried desperately to think of something to make me forget but all I saw was his face flashing in front of my eyes. “He tricked me into coming in here…” I began absentmindedly.
“Who?”
“Spencer.”
Marco scratched the back of his head, biting down on his bottom lip nervously. “I think you should wait until Justin comes before you say anything.”
“He made me think it was accident…” I squeezed tightly, shaking my head. “But he did it on purpose…”
“Hey,” Spencer nudged me with his elbow, “I’m going to go get something to drink. Do you want anything? Water, maybe? You look horrible.”
“Wow, thanks.” I mumbled sarcastically while rolling my eyes. “But I’m good.”
Spencer shrugged. “Suit yourself.” Standing, he exited the living room, entering the kitchen.
Seconds later, a crash was heard and immediately I jumped in fear of what happened and who it could be. “Spencer?” I squeaked, waiting for verification.
“Yeah!” He called back, “It’s just me.”
Relaxing, I stood up, walking into the kitchen to see glass all over the floor. “What the hell happened here?”
“I dropped the stupid cup,” Spencer growled angrily to himself as he grabbed a few pieces into his hand, “Shit,” He spat, letting them drop to the floor as he held his palm to his mouth.
“Cut yourself?” I guessed while laughing. When he shot me a glare, I put my hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry,” I stifled the smile on my face. “It’s okay; we have a sweeper here somewhere.” Looking through all the cabinets, I finally managed to find it. “Got it!” I held it in the air so Spencer saw before crouching down to clean the mess up.
“You don’t have to; it’s my mess to clean.” Spencer mumbled.
I waved a hand dismissively, “Don’t be ridiculous, it’s no problem. Besides, it’ll help clear my mind for a bit anyways.” Making sure, I didn’t forget any piece of glass on the floor, I got up; walking over to the trash can to throw it out when something hard hit me in the back of the head, knocking me out cold.
“He made me believe he was a good person…” I looked down at the glass in my hand, my heart hammering inside its rib cage. “I believed him… I trusted him… he took me to school, I was left alone with him for hours a day and he could’ve easily turned around and killed me so why didn’t he? Why did he have to wait until I was alone to hit me over the head? Why did Lyndon have to keep me locked up in that fucking box?” I screamed, feeling the frustrations build up inside of me. “Why did Cole have to touch me? Why?”
“Kelsey…” Carly began, taking a few steps closer to me but I paid no attention.
“Do you know why?” I looked up at Marco who was staring at me wide-eyed, cocking my head to the side. “Do you know why these kinds of things always happen to me?”
“Kelsey…” Bruce whispered upset to see me acting this way but I didn’t care, I was simply done caring when nothing but disaster comes in return.
“Do you?” I whispered, “Because I do…” I twirled the glass around in my hand before catching it in my grip. “It’s because everything’s fucked up.” Throwing the glass across the room, I watched as it shattered into a million pieces, feeling a piece of me break with it. “Everything,” I turned, grabbing another glass and smashing it on the ground, “Is,” I broke another, “Broken!”, and another.
“Stop it!” Carly begged, reaching out to grab me but I dodged her hands, grabbing a plate from the stack next to the glasses and watching it fly across the room.
“Kelsey…” Justin’s voice was heard from the doorway as he ran over to me once he saw me reach for another plate. “Kelsey!”
“No, get away from me!” I shouted cowering away as his arms wrapped around me from behind, stopping me from creating more of a mess than I already had.
“I just want this to stop…” I sobbed, my knees giving out as I fell, Justin coming down with me. “I just want this pain inside to go away, make it go away…” I cried, “Please.”
“Shh,” Justin soothed as he smoothed my hair over, “It’s okay…”
“No,” I moaned, shaking my head, “It’s not okay. It’s never going to be okay…” I whispered, “You’re going to hate me… you’re going to never want to touch me again…”
“Baby, stop this,” Justin mumbled into my ear, “I love you okay? I could never hate you.”
“That’s a lie,” I sobbed, clutching my eyes together as Cole’s devious eyes burned into the darkness that surrounded my own. “You’re lying.”
Cupping her mouth, Carly watched from afar with the guys as I broke down right in front of her, tears spilling down her cheeks and meeting the cold tiled floors beneath her.
“Breathe for me…” Justin whispered as he cradled my head into his chest, his fingers combing my hair.
My eyelids pressed together tightly as my bottom lip shuddered. “I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry.” I repeatedly shook my head.
“Look at me baby, look at me,” Justin hissed, his hand grasping my chin as he forced me to look at him. “Don’t you dare lose yourself on me,” He begged, his eyes searching mine. “Don’t do this to yourself.”
Sniffling, I slowly nodded, turning my body around to face him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that,” He murmured as he held me close, “You have nothing to apologize for. Come on,” Tucking his arm under my legs as he hoisted me up into his arms while standing, he began making his way out of the kitchen, “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”
Walking into our room and into the bathroom, Justin carefully sat me down on top of the counter, his hands on either side of me. “Do you want to take a bath?” He mumbled gently, eyes distant and I could tell he was trying hard not to look at the mark on my neck.
Absentmindedly covering it as I rubbed my neck, I shyly nodded my head, chewing on the inside of my cheek.
Turning the water on, making sure it was perfect temperature; Justin looked at me. “Do you want me to help you?”
Nodding again, I reached my arms up as Justin slid his hands over my thighs and up to my waist as he began unbuttoning my shirt, his jaw tightening at the two missing buttons on the top as he slid the shirt off my shoulders, discarding it to the side.
Unbuttoning my jeans, Justin grabbed me by my waist, holding me up while I tugged them down over my butt before sitting me on the counter once more. Sliding the jeans off my legs as they met my shirt on the floor, Justin carried me into the bath.
Relaxing into the warm water, I looked up at Justin as he leaned back, his eyes searching mine for something I quite couldn’t put my finger on. With his index finger, Justin drew a line from my left cheek down to my neck, something glimmering in his eyes before planting a longing kiss to my forehead and without as much as a single word spoken, Justin stood, walking out of the bathroom.
Justin’s Point of View:
Pacing the floors of our bedroom, I held the back of my head in the palms of my hands as I tried to calm down but nothing could get the image of her neck out of my head. The black and blue stood out like a sore thumb prompting me of what that bastard did to her.
The image of his hands holding her down while she thrashed around, fighting his every move ran flapped through my head like a scrapbook of pictures.
Suddenly the bathroom door opened, Kelsey timidly peeking her head out as she gave me a small smile, wincing as she walked on out, closing the door behind her.
“How are you feeling?”
“Shaky,” Kelsey whispered honestly as she refused to meet my eyes.
“Do you need help?”
Shaking her head with her hair up in a bun and a robe wrapped around her body, Kelsey slid her bare feet across the floor, taking her time as she carefully made her way to our bed, pulling the blanket back before slowly getting in as I rushed behind to help her in.
Tucking the blanket up to her chin, I felt her freeze underneath me as my fingers brushed against her skin.
“Here,” Grabbing a cup of water, I held it to her lips, “Drink some of this.” Watching as she took a few sips, I put the cup down on the dresser beside the bed. A blanket of silence fell between us as we stared at one another, unsaid words lingering in the air.
Clearing my throat, I licked my lips. “You should get some sleep.”
“I can’t go to sleep…” She fretfully observed me through her eyelashes, “Until you tell me what’s on your mind.”
With my hands on my hips, I shrugged my eyes boring into hers. “You”
Tucking the blanket under her arms, Kelsey began playing with her fingers, “Are you mad?” She whispered.
“For what?”
Looking as though she were going to say something else, but deciding against it, she shrugged. “The mess I made downstairs…”
“That can always be cleaned up, don’t worry about it.”
Pulling at the skin around her nails, Kelsey chewed on her lip, nodding to herself as she tried to occupy herself by finding something to focus her attention on.
“You should go to sleep; it’s been a long day.” I suggested while turning to walk away.
“Where are you going?” She snapped in quick question.
“I’m, ugh,” I thumbed behind me, “Gonna head downstairs.”
Twisting her lips to one side, I could see the hurt behind her eyes. “Are you gonna sleep down there?”
“Do you want me to?”
Swallowing hard, Kelsey furrowed her eyebrows in deep thought, “I want you to be honest with me…” She paused for a moment’s rest to recollect her thoughts. “When you look at me, do you think of Cole?”
“So it was Cole?” My stomach churned, jerking in all sorts of directions. Rubbing my face up and down, I looked at her. “I don’t want to think about what that bastard did to you.”
“I know you saw the bruising, you’re thinking about it right now.”
“It doesn’t matter what I’m thinking right now,” I shrugged. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“But it doesn’t change what happened.” She whispered as though reading my mind. “Cole marked me… and now you want nothing to do with me.”
Wiping my mouth, I took a deep breath before walking back over to her and taking a seat on the corner of the bed. “You know me,” I pointed to myself, Kelsey watching my every move. “I’m jealous and possessive. I love you and I know that it may be wrong but I think of you as mine. So when I think about what that filth did to you…” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Kelsey slowly nodded, tears forming in her eyes. “You think I’m dirty…” She whispered and instantly my body froze.
“No.” I shook my head, taken back that she would even think something like that. “I don’t think you’re dirty.”
“After he left me alone in the room, I never stopped to think about what you would say or do when you saw it and I didn’t think that it would change the way you looked at me…” She painfully whispered.
“Don’t do that,” I mumbled, “don’t do that to yourself. Don’t take Cole’s spite in order to get to me to use against you.” I warned, “You’ve been through things no one else has, Kelsey. You are stronger than that. You put up with me and my life for years, you didn’t let those bastards get to you without a fight. You told the truth when it came down to me and your family. That’s what I see when I look at you. A strong girl who will fight for me, for her friends, for herself…” Taking her hand in mine, I looked into her eyes, shaking my head. “You’re not dirty baby.”
Kelsey let the tears spill over her lids as she cupped her mouth to keep from making a sound, her body shaking at the cries that built up inside of her.
“You’re beautiful.” Thumbing her chin, I caressed her cheek as she continued to cry. “Hey,” I coaxed gently, “Listen to me…” Kneeling, I crawled up beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “C’mere,” Pulling her close, I held her to me as she hid her face into my neck. “You’re my whole world sweetheart…” Kissing her shoulder, I leaned back to catch a glimpse of her face casted with tears. Cupping her face in my hands, I wiped them away. “Alright?”
Nodding, she pressed her palm to my cheek, leaning her forehead against mine as she fought against the urge to kiss me.
I brushed my lips against hers, wordlessly asking if I could as she dug her fingers into my cheeks, nodding her head as she pulled me even closer. Pressing my lips to hers, the familiar spark ignited within us as silent tears molded against our cheeks.
Pulling away, I laid down with her on top of me. “Go to sleep baby, I’m right here, okay?”
Closing her eyes, Kelsey hid her face into my chest, her arms cradled between us as her legs lay limp between my own.
As soon as she fell asleep, I felt the back of my eyes burn as I stared up at the ceiling, nothing but dread consuming every inch of me.
Running my hands up and down her back in a comforting manner, I looked down at the beauty tucked into my arms, her innocence tugging at my heart strings as I blinked and saw all the subliminal bruises on her body.
She had been tossed and turned like a washing machine, pulled and tugged in all the different directions that my life entailed.
“What happened tonight… is the sole reason why my life will never be safe enough for you. I can try all I want but at the end of the day, no matter what I do, you will never be anodyne. I can’t keep you hidden while trying to protect everyone else in my life.” I whispered, my throat burning. “I know deep down in my gut that I should let you go and never turn back. I should let you live your life the way any normal person should. You shouldn’t have to be scared that the next person you talk to may be out to get you because of me…” Holding back the tears that threatened to surface, I blinked them back. “But I’m a fucking selfish man and I can’t let you go.”
I growled to myself in anger, “I can’t let you walk out of my life and I can’t walk out of yours because you are the only person who keeps me sane. I already lost my family, I can’t lose you too.”
Kissing the top of her head, I wrapped my arms around her body. “I’m going to make sure they pay what happened tonight. Mark my words baby girl, what they did to you… to my mom, it’s going to be avenged and when I do get my hands on them, I’ll make sure they know just the type of hell they put you both through.”
Closing my eyes, I envisioned a place where nothing else existed but just the two of us. The world where once upon a time ago, things were okay and my life wasn’t falling apart by the seams