First of all, I AM SORRY for not updating like I promised. My mind was occupied with things and I really can't write properly. I hope you'll forgive me! I won't promise aymore so that I won't disappoint you guys. Thank you for sticking with me and my story. It's near the end guys. Just stick a little longer.
This chap is just a short one and maybe the next updates will be just as long as this. I hope you guys understand. Thank you!
P.S Sorry for the wrong spelling and grammars.
Cara's POV
It's been a month, and it surely was the longest month of my life.
It's funny how you constantly miss someone, when you always talk to them everyday. You always call and skype them to just hear their voice and see their faces, expecting that the hole inside that heart of yours will be filled.
But it isn't.
It's still there and it's growing in every seconds that pass by.
And the only cure to that hole is the exact same reason why it's there in the first place.
It is a crime to miss a person this much?
I hope it's not. Because if it is, I am more than willing to go to jail and lock myself in.
I miss her, and I am not ashamed to say it.
I miss our night talks, the talks that sometimes lead us to small quarrels but always end up into a cuddling moment.
I miss the way her nose crunch up everytime she gives me an annoyed look on her face, when I disagree on her with something.
I miss all the slap in the arms that I get, everytime she laughs and she just can't express herself by just laughing, so she'll start hitting you.
I miss the warmth of her hug, that heavenly feeling that I get, everytime her arms draped around my body like I'm the most precious thing in the world.
I miss her lips, the lips that defines the word perfect.
But in the end of the day, I only miss her.
I miss my Kendall.
It's ironic that everytime they laugh through the phone call, it just makes you miss them more.
When everytime you look at them through that screen, you wished for time to move faster than the normal way, so you could already see them and hug them.
But life is just like that. You just need to go with it. You just need to accept and wait for that day to come.
The day that you'll be able to kiss all the sadness away.
"You're spacing out love." Kenny's voice brought me back from my deep thoughts.
I sighed a little, as I turn my gaze back at my phone's screen again. "I'm sorry, it's just that I'm missing you so much. If only I finished the movie like scheduled, I can fly out there already and we can have the vacation I promised." I said and gave her a sad smile.
Well, what sucks the most is that I'm the reason why we aren't together yet. I was supposed to be finishing the movie I'm filming this week, but I got sick and have to rest for awhile which cause for the delay of the shooting.
I heard Kendall releasing a huge sigh before answering. "Hey, don't blame yourself okay? You got sick and you need to rest. It's acceptable love. I don't want you overworking remember?" She said, but I still can't help but to blame myself.
"It's just that..if only-" I started to argue again, but Kendall immediately cutted me off.
"Love, that's enough okay? I trully understand. No problem with that. Besides, we'll see each other next week and have another long vacation." She smiled sweetly and that did it ladies and gentlemen, all the guilt inside me faded.
"I love you! God, I really do." I whispered, as I lean in my phones camera and let my lips linger on it as if it was Kendall's lips.
I heard her giggle. "You're so sweet love! And I can't wait to taste that sweet lips of yours." She said teasingly and I can feel my cheeks burning.
"Stop that Ken. It won't do us any good. It would just make us miss each other more." I said trying to hide the blush but I know that I miserably failed.
"Well, I'm sorry th-" Ken was about to say something again, but a knock on my door interrupted her.
"Cara, it's all set. You're on in three." A voice which I recognized as one of the set crews echoed.
"Okay! I'll follow, just wait a second." I answered, then turn my head back to my phone.
"And before I forget. You have a visitor waiting." The crew member added, which made my eyebrow furrow.
"Oh, sure. I'll meet them at the lounge. Thanks." I replied again, before I finally give my attention back to Kendall.
"Well, that's my cue to go now love. I'll call you tomorrow. Enjoy your--" I said, but I stopped in the middle of my sentence when I saw Kendall's brows furrowed.
"Visitor, huh?" She said in a mocking tone and I swear I felt like I swallowed an invisible lump on my throat.
Woah! Why do I feel like I have some explaining to do? I mean look at the way she's looking at me. It's as if she wanted to put a bullet in my head. I was now talking to myself, asking, why is she looking at me like that.
Chill the hell out C. You don't have to be nervous. You didn't do anything. I whispered again, as I take a deep breath and smiled at her.
"Uhm..yeah? Why? Is there any problem, love?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.
I saw her giving me a cold stare, and I felt chills running through my body.
What the hell is wrong with me?
"Okay then. Don't let your visitor wait. Take care and don't forget to call me tomorrow." She simply said without any expression on her face and I don't know if it's my cue to bid my good bye or not.
"Umm? Love? Are you mad at me?" I asked, just to give myself a peace of mind.
The last thing I want is the two of us fighting.I don't want us ending a day this way. Being in a thousand miles away from each other is already enough torture for the both of us.
"I'm not mad. Why? Are you doing something that will make me mad?" She asked, even raising her brow even more as if trying to intimidate me.
I immidiately shook my head as an answer and smiled at her. "I'm not doing anything and I'm not planning to." I said with all honesty.
She just nodded her head and bid her good bye once more. "Okay. If you say so. Take care and call me tomorrow. I love you." She said in a more calmer tone than earlier.
"I will. Take care of yourself too. I'll call you tomorrow. I love you too Ken." I said, and wave my hands at the screen before ending the call.
---------------------------------------------------
I was now walking towards the lounge room to see who my visitor is, because I really wasn't expecting anyone. My friends are busy with their own lives and Pop haven't told me that she'll visit me because it's impossible. She's in a vacation right now with the fam. I gave her that chance to unwind after everything that I put her through and she gladly accept it. Because come on! She really deserves a break.
I had already talked to her about my current situation with Ken, well like Kylie, she's okay with it but doesn't like the fact that Kendall is still in a relationship with Harry. And she freaked out a little about it at first, but I'm glad that I handled it well, which only end up with me getting a poke in the head.
So, who is this visitor of mine? Because it's surely not Poppy.
And as soon as I reach the lounge, I saw a lady sitting in the couch with her back facing me.
She looks familiar though.
---------------------------------------------------
Kendall's POV
After that video call with Cara, I can't help but to let my mind be clouded with things.
Visitor?
"Ugh. Who visits a friend in this kind of hour. It's almost 11 in the evening in London." I huffed not realizing that someone just entered my room.
"Woah! Chill out Ken! If you and C are fighting don't put the blame on me." Kylie chuckled, trying to tease me but me being in my 'not in the mood to give a fuck' kind of state, I just decided to shrug it off.
I just sighed and lay back in my bed, watching Kylie roamed around my room looking for something.
"What the fuck Ky?! Can you please sit down?" I said, trying to get her attention and I successfully did when I saw her sitting at the edge of my bed.
"What are you looking for?" I asked
"I was just trying to look for my ring. The one with the heart shape thingy." She answered back. "But nevermind, I might have just misplaced it or something. It'll come out soon. I mean that's what happens everytime, right? You stop looking for something and they'll come getting in your way without you even noticing it." She longly explained, but I just shook my head at her.
"That's deep." I commented and she just giggled.
"Just like the sigh you just gave me earlier. What's wrong Ken?" She asked, then she turn her head to face me.
I was now arguing with myself whether to tell her what's bothering me or not. But knowing Kylie for all my life, I know that she wouldn't let this thing go without me spilling out everything.
"It's Cara.." I answered, diverting my gaze everywhere else just to not meet the teasing look on my sister's face.
"Ofcourse it's Cara! Whoelse in this world can make you feel that way." She sarcastically replied and that is why I rolled my eyes on her.
"Hey, don't give me that look. Would you just please elaborate further." She continued, looking at me intently as if waiting for every single word that's gonna come out from my mouth.
"It's just that..I miss her..It's been a month..God!" I can't help but to cover my face with my palm as frustration and sadness gets the best of me.
"And I hate that I can't do anything to see her, because my fucking schedule is loaded too! I feel guilty about doing zero efforts while she works her ass of that movie and even got sick just to be with me! This is so frustrating! I don't even know what I'm trying to say." I exclaimed in annoyance, and after finishing my sentence, I buried my face in my pillow.
"Ugh! And I'm feeling this way! Knowing that she doesn't like it if I'm acting like this! It'll add up to her burden! Damn it!" I scoffed again, and that's when I heard Kylie laugh.
"Holy shit! The effect Cara has on you! Damn girl! You're fucking capital I to the N to the LOVE with Ms. Delevingne! I wished I had recorded that! It's so cute!" Kylie said while trying to control herself from laughing.
"Bitch." I hissed but she just stick her tounge out.
"But seriously Ken, I know that you miss her so much. Well, I can see it through your eyes and yeah, what you just did awhile ago just confirmed that you really do miss her so much. But Kenny, don't get mad at yourself! You're doing the best that you can do just to finish all your works and so that you can spend the whole next week with her. I think both of your efforts are fair." She answered simply and I can see the concern look on her face.
Okay, that calmed me a bit.
"Now, let's be honest here and tell me what the fuck is really bothering you." She continued, as her brows held up and I can't help but to smile at my sister.
She really knows me so well.
"Fine." I defeatedly admitted, as I sit on my bed with my back leaning against the head board. I deeply sighed as I tried to weigh in on how am I going to tell her what's really bothering me.
Just tell her the truth.
"It's just that, I feel like..Cara..what if she..ugh!" I started to voice out my thoughts but I just can't really put my words together.
"Hey, it's me okay? Take it easy You know that you can tell me everything right? I won't judge." She said as she held my hand.
I once again took a deep breath, as I gathered my words and put it in a sentence. "I'm worried..i'm worried about Cara." I started that earned me a confused look.
"What I mean is..what if she give up on me? On us? What if there is someone there beside her that can take care of her? That can make her feel the way I should make her feel? What if-" I was telling Kylie the emotions that I'm feeling inside me, when she cutted me off and covered my mouth.
"Shut up." She said and I was about to sway her hands off my mouth when she just slap my hands away.
"Let me cover your mouth so I can talk without you interrupting me with your load of shits." She said and I just shrugged her off, then let her do what she wants.
"First of all. That's stupid! Cara would never cheat on you." She started which made me react.
"Isjndhskk!" I wasn't able to argue because her hands covering my mouth prevented me from doing so.
I didn't said that she's cheating!
"Shut up and just let me talk. Like what I was saying, Cara would never fall out of love with you. Damn girl! Have you seen the way she looks at you? If that's not the definition of love then I don't know what is." She explained again, and this time I remained quiet.
"Secondly, long distance relationships are hard Ken. I mean with your situation, I know that it's even harder. But you just have to trust her with all your heart. You know Cara, the last thing that she wants is your heart being broken. She loves you so much that even if she sees a picture of you and Harry together, she still trust you. If I was Cara I'll be bitching about it you know. But nope, Cara loves you that much. So what I'm trying to say now is, be fair and trust her the way she's trusting you." She continued again, and I can feel my heart aching upon realizing how unfair I was all this time.
She trust me and I can't even do the same. God! I hate myself!
She's choosing to believe me with everything that's going on and I'm here bitching because she has a fucking visitor?! How childish Kendall!
She took her hands away from my mouth as she stood up and smiled at me.
"Now, chill the hell out, sleep and call her tomorrow and tell her how much you love her. Come on! You'll see her next week. Cheer up!"
"Ugh! Now I hate myself more than ever. Thanks Ky! Love yah." I said and kissed my sister's cheek.
"Okay. I'll get the hell outa here before you get clingy and shit. Love yah too." She replied and walk out of my room like a queen as always.
Oh Love. I'm sorry..I'll be better for you..for us.. I whispered to the air as if Cara can hear the words that I'm saying.
She's still here, sticking up with me even if she has all the reasons in this world to leave me.
She's always choosing the word stay.
It's already been a month since my 'secret relationship' with Cara started and Harry and I are still together. And God I hate myself for that. For lying to him and to everyone around us. And I'm hating myself even more because everytime that he held me and kiss me, I know that I'm breaking Cara's heart into pieces. But still, she choose to love me.
She always choose to fight for me and I'm beggining to hate it, because I can't do the same for her. I am still not ready to fight for her and to choose her even if every single time she had the chance, she always chooses me.
"I fucking hate myself." I whispered, as I close my eyes and try to just sleep all of my problems away. It's only 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I still have three hours to sleep before my flight to New York for a photoshoot.
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Cara's POV
She really looks familiar. I whispered to myself as I look at this girls back and hair. I don't know why but I felt like my heart started to beat a little faster than normal.
Why the hell am I nervous? I asked myself and tried to calm it down as I reach just a meter away from my visitor.
"Uhum." I fakely coughed trying to get her attention, since she's busy looking at the magazines in the table.
And as soon as she turn around and face me, a huge smile invaded my lips.
Standing infront of me is the girl I haven't seen for almost two months.
"Hello, Ms. Sigh is deeper than the sea." She greeted and gave me a one charming smile.
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The end! Joke. What I mean is the end of the chapter. Well, don't forget to vote and comment! Just a few more chapters. Big drama coming!