Seven days. It had been three days of school. It had been six days of news coverage. It had been seven days of hiding from reporters and had been seven days without Rayner. He hadn't returned a single call, text, or even email. Yes, I emailed him.
"Rayner, please pick up." I pleaded leaving yet another voice mail. If he ignored me much longer I promised myself to go to his house. Jackson had been working at the club full time as of lately so that meant I had some alone time when I wasn't at school or working. I currently was watching another replay of the chaos that happened a few nights ago. Someone had been able record the entire thing Friday night. I finally shut off the television because I couldn't watch another second of it.
Christmas was a week away and I was officially on break but I couldn't relax with this crap on the TV or knowing Rayner still was not speaking to me. I decided to do what I always did when I was feeling down. Shop. Christmas tree, lights, ornaments, any and everything Christmas was tossed into my basket. I had gone absolutely nuts, my therapist would have had a field day telling me exactly why this kind of impulse buying was unhealthy and the list of medications he could prescribe me. Christmas could never be the same without family but I was going to force Christmas to feel like Christmas.
I'd even gone as far as buying peppermint and pine tree scented wax for my Scentsy. I was out of control. $468. Downright mad. My apartment had been turned into a winter wonderland extravaganza. Jackson was going to flip, I knew he'd know I was clinically insane the second he walked in and saw the snow machine and the townhouse I'd set up in the middle of the living room. I decided I didn't care and blasted some Christmas music while putting the ornaments on the bright pink Christmas tree I'd purchased.
Jackson couldn't have chosen a worse time to walk in the door. I was in my feelings lost in a stupid Christmas song my parents danced to every year in our family room. "Hooollyyy shit." Jackson dropped his jacket on the floor looking around at the overly decorated apartment. "Why does it look like Christmas threw up in here?" His face was still full of shock as he looked at my tear filled eyes. "Tor?" He questioned. "Are you okay?" I could have laughed, "That was a dumb question, of course you're not." He ran a hand through his hair stepping over the nativity scene and Kato, who was currently eating baby Jesus. "Listen, I'm not good at this. So be patient with me. You gotta talk to me though. What's with all the decorations?" I shrugged sitting down in a pile of tinsel and beads. Jackson plopped down in front of me, and Kato came over too nudging his head under my hand in my lap.
"I don't know what got into me." I started laughing because I realized how ridiculous it looked in here. Jackson chuckled beside me. "I just was feeling down and I-I buy things when I'm sad. I just wanted this Christmas to feel like Christmas." He looked around the room clearing his throat. "Okay... You succeeded and then some, I think." He said slowly analyzing my reactions. I couldn't help but laugh now feeling embarrassed by my outburst of impulsiveness.
"Should I take some of it down?" I asked and he stood up examining the room for the millionth time shaking his head. "No I think it's great Tori!" He was just being nice. "We can-" He didn't finish his sentence as the wind was knocked out of him after tripping over my townhouse crushing the North Pole. He groaned both of us laughing near hysterics at this point. "Maybe you could tone it down a bit?" I nodded helping him back to his feet. "I'll help you starting with broken Santa and his elves." He decided. I chuckled running to the kitchen grabbing a trash bag. We filled a few bags full of the decorations I bought with full intentions of returning them.
"Hey, maybe instead of returning the decorations we could donate them? Maybe it could be therapeutic?" He smiled at my decision nodding his head. "A good deed for the holiday." He approved. Jackson helped me load the decorations back into my car and rode with me to the Salvation Army so we could drop them off. They thanked us gratefully and I was happy knowing I could bring some Christmas cheer to someone.
Jackson turned down the music in the car to talk. "So I hate to prod but why did you go all buy crazy?" I sighed flashing my signal to take a left turn. I wasn't sure if it was the holidays making me emotional, or Rayner not talking to me. "Rayner?" I shrugged stopping at a red light. "Maybe a little bit of everything." I admitted. "Wanna go somewhere with me?" I asked hopefully his eyes twinkled in the now dark car. He licked his full lips nodding his head slowly. "Yea I'd go anywhere with you Tori." He answered making my stomach flutter like it had when I first met him. I felt sort of guilty that I was enjoying the attention he was giving me.
We pulled into a small park that was filled with Christmas lights. It was much colder than it had been when we first left and I was regretting only wearing a sweater and scarf. Jackson must have noticed my shivering because he wrapped his arm around me pulling me into his side. I leaned my head against him staring up at the big light up stars they'd scattered throughout the trees some how lighting up the path we walked on. "I've missed you." I admitted. "When I didn't know where you were I worried endlessly. I'm glad you're okay Jackson." He smiled down at me with that boyish grin. "There's so much I want to ask you..." This had him grimacing.
"Tori, I don't want to tell you. I'm not ready." I nodded in understanding. "We will talk about it but not tonight okay?" He reached into his pocket taking out a pack of cigarettes pausing to light one. A habit of his I had never been a fan of. "Sorry I just get stressed out when I start thinking about that night." I nodded in agreement wondering what kind of torment he had gone through that I hadn't seen. There was hurt behind his eyes and I felt badly I hadn't thought about this before. I wasn't the only one putting up a front everyday."Jack, are you okay though?" His eyes searched mine for something. He nodded his head smiling weakly.
"I'm going to be. Now here," he shrugged off his hooded jacket while holding his cigarette between his lips and slipped it around me encasing me in mint and ash. "your lips are purple." He chuckled leaving himself in a thick long sleeved knit sweater that was of course black.
We wandered around the park gazing at all the lights that twinkled like Jackson's eyes. "Shall we head back home before we turn into icicles?" He proposed holding out his hand. "We shall!" I took his hand allowing him to lead us back to my car. I decided to let him drive us this time while I adjusted the heater and radio. "Jackson?" He looked over at me his face less grim than before. "Thanks for being here." His lips turned upward and for the rest of the car ride home we were silent.
I took Kato out once we were back in the complex much to my displeasure because I was already cold. At least I still had the coverage of Jackson's thick jacket that I had zipped all the way up and one hand shoved in the pocket while the other held a firm grip on Kato's leash. He'd managed to escape from me one too many times. I was a small girl and he was a not so small dog. While I was in the privacy of the moon I fished my phone from my pocket and dialed Rayner for the hundredth time this week. Again it rang to voicemail much to my frustration and he didn't show any sign of calling back. So I shot him a good night text telling him I loved him and that I hoped he'd talk to me soon. Didn't know how well it would do.
I kept my eyes on the text and saw that he'd read it which made my heart sink because I knew he wasn't going to message me back. I shoved my phone back in the pocket of Jackson's hoodie and tried to push away my frustrated tears. Rayner was so stubborn and I couldn't understand how he could be a rock all the time. My phone dinged in my pocket and my heart soared when I saw Rayner's name with one new message. I opened it as quickly as I could with my phone barely registering my chilled fingers.
I love you Tori.
I was okay with his simple sentence because he had finally spoken to me. I grinned like an idiot my fingers furiously moving ready to type a message back when a familiar deep voice sounded from behind me. I swung around coming face to face with the only one I've wanted to see all week long.
I smashed into him with brute force he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me while Kato wagged his tail sniffing his shoes. "I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair, but I'd forgiven him days ago. He rested his head against mine. "Let's get out of here?" He smirked at me which had my insides churning. "Come stay with me tonight." He insisted. "Kato too." He pleaded petting the dog that was begging for his attention nipping at his fingers gently. I didn't really want to leave Jackson alone in my apartment but I also couldn't say no to this invitation.
"Of course." I agreed and he leaned into my mouth placing a soft kiss against it. "I'll wait in my car, I don't want any trouble." He told me nodding his head in the direction of his parked vehicle. I hated that he and Jack were fighting. It literally put my stomach in knots. "Come up." I told him hoping that maybe we could clear some of the bad air between them. He shook his head licking his lips looking at me with a pursed face.
"Not yet." He firmly decided leaving to his car with my dog so I couldn't change my mind. Instead of going up the stairs I texted Jackson I was going to Rayner's with Kato and not to wait up. He responded with a simple:
Good luck.
I slipped in his car shivering at the touch of Rayner's leather seats. He blasted the heater once I was inside shifting into reverse speeding down the road the few miles to his home I had only seen a handful of times because we spent more time at my place. I followed him inside unzipping the jacket I'd inherited and draped it on the bench beside his door also kicking off my boots. His house was dark besides the lamp he'd left on across the living room. The tile floors made it colder and had it feeling more open. I held onto myself while he unleashed Kato allowing him to sniff out his new surroundings.
He placed his keys on a single hook and kicked off his shoes like he'd done a million times then walked into the kitchen placing a kettle filled with water on the stove. He motioned for me to come closer as he leaned against the counter top. I obeyed standing in front of him feeling like a small child. He squeezed my upper arms pulling me flush against him. He stared at me with such intensity I was growing uncomfortable. He tucked some stray hairs behind my left ear brushing all the hair to one side and knocking my sweater off my shoulder.
His rough skin grazed my collar bone and massaged my shoulder. His other hand curled into the hair at the nape of my neck and pulled me closer. Rayner kissed the exposed skin trailing his lips from my neck and to my shoulder. I shuddered with delight keeping my hands pressed high on his chest leaning my head so he could cherish my neck more.
He looked back into my eyes caressing my cheek still not saying anything and I was finding this silence sexier than I should have. His mouth was on mine again this time just as gentle but with purpose. His tongue danced with mine as his hands lowered their way down my body holding me firmly around the small of my back squeezing my ribs. He had never been so sensual with me. Things were getting heated as we battled our frustrations toward each other out with passion.
The screeching kettle on the stove broke us away too suddenly and Rayner kissed my forehead tending back to whatever he was planning on using the hot water for. "Go sit down. I'll be just a minute." He proclaimed, so I did what he said and sat on the couch in his hardly lived in living room.
Moments later he brought in two steaming cups of what appeared to be hot chocolate. My bones still ached from the cold even after our heated mash up so I thanked him quietly accepting the mug balancing it on my knee that was pressed against my chest. We sipped in more silence and I was beginning to wonder if he was going to say anything at all.
"Come." He instructed taking my cup and setting it on the coffee table. He grabbed my hand hoisting me up and leading me to his room. It still looked pretty lonely in here and I suddenly felt bad that I hadn't visited more. He whistled for Kato who hopped on the bed cuddling into one side of Rayner while I took the other. I laid my head on his chest and he massaged his hands in my hair. I closed my eyes enjoying the close proximity of him. "Tori?"
"Hmm?" I mumbled tracing circles into his chest. He leaned his head on his arm turning his body entirely toward me. He bit his lip almost staring through me. His fingers trailed down my arm and he sat up completely while I followed in suit. He pulled my sweater up over my head leaving me in my white camisole.
"I missed you." He breathed joining our lips once more. "I want to get to know you better." He said between kisses. "Have Christmas with me." He smiled genuinely for the first time tonight. I nodded my head agreeing to anything he was saying as to get his lips on mine faster. Kato hopped down leaving the room once we started making out. It felt as if Rayner and I were meant for each other. His heat and my own collided in wonder for what felt like ages and I wanted it to last all night. He left me breathless as he hovered over my face propped on his elbow again brushing hair away from my face.
He was acting strangely but I didn't want to upset him anymore by asking too many questions. No words mattered right now after what we'd done. All that mattered was the way our skin felt pressed against each other and the sound of his breathing while he stared into my eyes with his. His fingers grazed my lips once gently and then he voiced what he'd been thinking.
"Live with me." I hadn't anticipated that one.
Vote! Comment! I'll be back soon!