When you make a mistake
out of frustration,
and you do something
you don’t necessarily regret
but you shouldn’t have done it,
it defines you.
Not in a labeling kind of way
but in an addictive way.
You do it once,
and you find yourself
falling into the same pattern,
over and over again.
“If you have to choose between two people,
choose the second one.
Because if you truly cared for the first one,
you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.”
But what if you choose the second one,
and they fuck you over?
What the hell are you
supposed to do then?
You can’t go back to the first one
because they are getting over you.
They are moving on.
The last thing they want
is for you to change your mind.
It’s not fair; for you or for them.
And that’s so fucking painful.
So, ultimately, you always lose.
Don’t do it once,
then you won’t have to struggle
with having to choose.
Every single time.
Habits are hard to break,
and this is mine.
My definitive mistake
that has caught me in a whirlpool
of pain, and confusion, and chaos.
My advice?
Just never make that mistake.