"You liar!" Liam gasped, "you betrayed me. How could you? I thought we had something going on."
"Yeah, annoyance. Now cork it before I just open the door and kick your butt out!" I yelled from the front seat of the van.
"You wouldn't."
"If she doesn't I will now shut up!" Kara stated calmly with a growl at the end.
"Fine. But feed me. That's the least you guys can do."
"Ugh!"
"Thank you," he chuckled. God! I want to rip his head off. What do I get myself into seriously?
***
"Hey, yeah can I get a number 5." I said into the intercom.
"No pickles!" Liam's voice echoed from the back.
I let out a deep breath. "No pickles please."
"Can I have a toy?"
"Kara! Hit him or something!" I yelled pulling my hair.
"Excuse me?" The girly voice from the speaker spoke.
"Oh my gosh, not you...sorry. I have a five year old in the car." I glared at Liam, who chuckled once again.
"And you hit him? Ma'ma, I think I'm going to have to call the cops."
"No, no, no. I was talking about my...dog, yeah he peed and it smells awful. Phew!" I faked trying to calm the lady down.
"A dog?! I'm calling the animal abuse hotline, don't move!"
"Ouch!" Liam cried as Kara smacked him across the head.
"Oh my god! Did you hit the dog? Help! Help!" She yelled. Her voice echoed on full on panic mode. This was not good.
"Let's get out of here," Liam laughed.
"No shit," I growled, "but there's a car behind us!"
"Shit, shit, shit. Just cut through there," Kara said here her face full of concern. She pointed to the sidewalk that went along side the drive though of McDonalds.
"Hold on!" I revved the white van's engine all it could possible go and jumped on the sidewalk. The high sidewalk scrapped the bottom of the van making an eerie scratching sound and making sparks fly from down under causing the cars from behind to honk and shout.
"Stop them!" The tiny blonde-headed girl shouted as she ran out the Mcdonalds waving her hands around like a mad person, "come back here! Let me save the dog!"
Leaving her behind, still shouting I plunged into the traffic. Cars honked and a few flipped me the fat bird, but I didn't care. I needed to get out of here and hide the van pronto!
_________________________
Joke # 15
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
lol reminded me of Kara and Babel