39.
Saffron's knees are shaking uncontrollably, her heart is beating hard in her chest and she can feel a tightening her chest, a compression which is stopping her from breathing. She abruptly clutches Fern's wrist and opens her mouth to speak but a strangled gasp escapes her throat and she knows it's happening again. Everyone in the quiet waiting room quickly look at Saffron and Fern tugs her lightly and guides her to the disabled toilets.
Fern locks the door and Saffron collapses to the ground, gasping for air and help as she feels his body pressing up against hers, his words burning through her ears as she struggles to free herself from his clutches. Patting her lightly on the back, Fern talks softly to Saffron and coaxes until she's calm and able to speak coherently,
"Ohmygod Fern I'm falling apart," Saffron sobs as she, her shoulders shaking,
"No you're not! Look, in the next couple of days I'll look up some charities or professionals who can help you with these attacks," Fern states defiantly, still rubbing Saffron's back. Exhausted, Saffron nods and their heads snap to the door when there's a hard urgent knock. Hoisting her up, Fern opens the door and they both smile apologetically at the man who impatiently enters the toilets. Using her hands as a fan, Saffron tries to dry her tears,
"You look beautiful," Fern says softly, rubbing Saffron's upper arms in a comforting motion. Inhaling and exhaling, Saffron tells herself she's fine even though she doesn't believe it herself. After a couple of minutes, they enter the waiting room once more and just as they're about to sit down, Saffron's name is called by the nurse who pops her head round the room. She smiles cheerfully at Saffron who attempts but fails to return the smile.
Fern slips her arm through Saffron's and they walk together down the hallway to the end where the nurse opens the door into her small office. Both Saffron and Fern have been in these waiting rooms many times for many different reasons but an abortion has never been one of them. Both of them knew despite them being extremely cautious and careful this incident could be inevitable. However Saffron never imagined the circumstances of how she got pregnant and the imminent for an abortion.
"So, I imagine you are here for the abortion pill?" She smiles widely, her tone calm and even, no judgement and scorn. Fern and Saffron nod their heads in unison,
"How many days far gone are you?" The nurse asks typing into her computer rapidly, glancing at Saffron,
"12 days," Saffron answers flatly, her mouth dry and chalky. She feels sick. The next question overwhelms her and makes her nausea. Saffron quickly excuses herself and runs down the hallway and hurls herself into the nearest toilet cubicle and throws herself onto her knees and throws up her breakfast. Fern bolts upwards and apologises to the bewildered nurse. Before she leaves she states,
"The man is not her partner nor her boyfriend, nor her friend nor a one-night stand. He is simply a bastard."