My first night back in England was lovely in the sense that I reunited with my mother, stepfather and my brother. Seeing them after such a long time was lovely and distracted me from everything else that was going on in my life. But by the next day, once they were all back at work, I felt completely alone. I wanted Gerard to be with me. I missed sleeping beside him. I missed his smile and his laugh and his cute slightly high-pitched voice. I missed him holding my hand.
Call me if you sort your head out.
That was the last thing he had said to me. I had ruined everything all because I was too afraid to be vulnerable and allow myself to be sad saying goodbye to him. I couldn't let this be the end of us- we were too perfect together for one petty argument to break us apart.
I had to call him.
I picked up my phone and dialled his number.
"Hello?"
"G, it's me," I said, feeling comforted by the sound of his voice.
"Isabel."
I felt nervous that things weren't going to go to plan because Gerard tended to call me Isabel when we were being serious. When things were good, he'd call me Izzy.
"I'm so sorry G," I sighed. "I've been an idiot."
"No Isabel, you were right," he said. My heart sank.
"I wasn't right," I said with tears in my eyes. "Things will work out, I was just freaking out and too afraid to spend my last night with you because I thought the goodbye would be too hard."
"Isabel, it's not a good time right now," he said. I felt panicky as I tried to think of a way to save the conversation, but then I heard something in the background. It was a woman's voice.
"Are you w-with somebody?" I stuttered.
"Hey Isabel!" I heard from the background. It was Sophia.
"Seriously Gerard?" I said. "I've been gone for two days!"
"You said it was over!" he shouted.
"Did you get over it in two days?!" I cried. "You didn't even give us time to talk it out!"
"Goodbye Isabel," he said before hanging up the phone.
I broke down into tears, realising that I had ruined everything between Gerard and I.
Gerard's P.O.V
I hung up the phone, a lump in my throat as I held back tears. I looked around at everyone in my living room. Frank, Ray, Bob, Mikey, Annie and Sophia sat on the couch and stared back at me.
"Why the fuck did you say hi to her?" Frank spat at Sophia. "You wanted to upset her didn't you?"
"Don't start on her," Annie whispered to Frank, snuggling up to him.
"Babe, she's a snake," he hissed back, but everybody heard. "I don't even know why she's still here."
"I came around to make sure Gerard was okay," Sohpia responded. "I heard that Isabel left, and I wanted to ask if he was alright. I didn't know they were on the rocks."
As she said that last sentence, she smirked at Frank, making him angry.
"I'm fine," I growled. "Why don't you just get out?"
"Gerard we can still be friends," she said, but Frank interrupted.
"Don't make me kick you out again Sophia," he spat. "Just get the hell out of here."
Sophia got up and stormed out, slamming the door shut behind her.
"Stop letting her into your house," Frank said in anger. Annie stroked his arm in an attempt to calm him down. They were a cute couple. Watching them made me miss Isabel.
"Why are you making it more complicated than it needs to be?" Ray asked me. "You can just accept her apology and everything will be back to normal."
"I don't know," I sighed. "I kept telling her that things would work out, but how will it? She needs to get a good job here to get a green card, and I have no opportunities in England to work on my art. Maybe I should try and work on my art first."
"Are you crazy?" Annie said. "You and Izzy are the best couple I've ever known. You're completely perfect together!"
"Yeah I know," I sighed. "But...I don't know. I just think a few months apart won't be the worst thing in the world."
"I think you two are both confused," Annie responded. "But I think if you leave it too long you're gonna lose each other for good."
"I'm just gonna explain to her that we should focus on our careers and then see where we're at," I said. "I don't want her giving up good job opportunities just for me. Izzy didn't study hard to give up everything for me."
Later that night I called Izzy and told her that. We talked for hours about how we would make it work; about me coming to live in the UK or her coming to live here in the states. We talked about our relationship and how we saw the future. We both refrained from talking about marriage. We just made out that we were a good couple who were apart. I felt like we both knew that we were more than that.
But that was it.
Isabel had left the US. And because of that, we couldn't be together.
But we both knew it was only temporary.
****
Isabel's P.O.V
It had been three months since I had moved back to England. Gerard and I had agreed that it was for the best that we be apart. We decided that we weren't the type of couple who could do long distance- we were the type of couple who wanted to be together 24/7. It would only ruin the relationship.
We had kept in touch for the first couple of weeks, but then Gerard got a job at the Cartoon Network in NYC and I heard less from him. I was working full time in a supermarket to make money whilst he was working full time, and the time difference meant that he was working when I finished work, and we were both always too tired to make time for one another. Gerard had become somewhat of a strange and distant memory, like a nice dream. It broke my heart to not talk to him, but he didn't message me and I started to feel like he didn't want to message me. Working full time made me exhausted and I didn't have a lot of time to think about Gerard, as I would work from 9am until 5pm and then crash when I got home.
As Autumn made it's way back around, I continued my daily routine by waking up and dragging myself to work. I made it to work at 9am and sat in the canteen to make a coffee and watch the morning news. I made my coffee and watched the news before starting my shift. Another boring day at work; I stacked shelves and made small-talk. By 2pm, I went for my break and sat down to watch the news yet again.
"Oh my god..." I mouthed. I stared at the TV screen in shock. New York City was plastered onto the screen in smoke.
"Isabel have you seen the n-" called my friend Sarah as she burst into the canteen, but she stopped when she saw that I was watching the TV.
"Oh...m-my god," I repeated as I listened to the news.
"Breaking news from New York City as American Airlines Flight 11 has collided into the North tower of the World Trade Center
"Sarah is this real?" I asked in a panic. I stared as the live news focused on the smoke billowing out of the building. From the corner of the screen I noticed something approaching fast. It was an airplane. Everything around me went silent as I stared in horror. With my own eyes, I watched an airplane fly into the South tower. Sarah stood and stared in silence with me. I felt completely stiff. On live television I had just witnessed an airplane fly into a building in New York City.
New York City.
9.05am.
Gerard.
I stood up and ran outside. My heart was racing. I couldn't bear to look at the television anymore. In shock I had forgotten that Gerard worked in New York.
Gerard worked in New York. He took a boat across the Hudson. To get to work at 9am. Gerard must be in New York. He must be there. He must have seen it.
He could have been involved.
"No no no no no," I cried to myself as I took out my phone to call him. My hands were shaking so much that I dropped the phone. Before I could dial his number, I saw a name pop up on my phone. Mikey.
"Hello?" I said with a shaky voice.
"Izzy have you heard from Gerard?" Mikey shouted in panic.
"No! No I was about to c-call him!" I shouted back. He hung up. I dialled Gerard's number and called it.
No answer.
I called again.
No answer.
I called again.
"H-hello?"
"Gerard!"
"Izzy, Izzy what's up?
He sounded distant.
"Gerard I've just seen the news, I need to know you're alright," I cried.
"I...I'm fine," he said. "Izzy I have to go."
"Gerard, I-"
He hung up the phone. Something wasn't right. I was so afraid.