I rushed inside and headed to my bedroom, grabbing the big wool blanket off my bed. It was probably the only blanket in the house that would keep me from catching cold if I fell asleep outside.
I stepped towards the double glass doors as footsteps on the deck reached my ears, and I quickly grabbed my 9 mm from my bag. The light footsteps stopped outside my front door and hard knocks broke the silence.
'If it's Tony I'm gonna be pissed,' I thought as I unlocked my front door slowly.
I cracked the door open, raising my weapon, but familiar blue eyes met mine. My stomach reacted before I realized Steve was standing on my deck. His muscles twitched, and his hands were balled into fists, but the frown spread over his face, and worried eyes softened my anger, but only a little. The last thing I needed at the moment, was more conversation.
"Hey," he whispered softly.
I opened the door, not wanting to meet his eyes, regardless how my stomach and body felt. I safetied my weapon and placed it on the small table near the door.
"I thought the message I left was very clear?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest and turning towards the back deck, "I wanted to be here alone Rogers, before I ended up killing someone, so just go, I'll be home in a few days."
"And while it was clear, I really don't give a damn if you wanted to be alone, and since when did you start running away from me," Steve grumbled thickly from behind me, "we didn't finish our discussion, so I'm not going anywhere."
"Excuse me? We were very done with our conversation, you made that very clear, and you know what? Even if we weren't, I don't feel like talking about it now, I'm so angry..and.., confused," I croaked, and clenched my fist enraged, "so you know what just go, I'll be home later," I concluded, and made my way towards the deck.
I had to force myself to keep my back to him, because what I really wanted was just to forget about everything, and sink into his chest. Even as angry as I was, his arms always provided a sense of peace, and hope, but I kept my eyes forward, and fixated on the moonlight beckoning me back outside.
"Maybe..maybe we don't really have the relationship we thought we did," I stammered, refusing to believe that, because he was here wanting to talk, but I was spread thin, and my emotional vulnerability hurt.
"You know that's bullshit, and excuse me for being surprised to hear you're unhappy, so like I just said, we're not done talking, Mrs. Rogers," my husband decreed from behind me, his own anger permeating his voice.
I finally turned around and stepped up to him,"we're very fucken done, you hear me, Rogers? We're finished talking about this, I.."
He pushed me against the wall, swallowing my harsh gasp as his lips came crashing down on mine. The anger I felt was quickly replaced with heat and hunger.
The ache I'd been feeling for him, yearning for, since he left for his mission, slammed into me and almost took my breath away.
'Goddamn this man and his blue eyes.'
He lifted me up, till I wrapped my legs around his waist, and gasped while his body pushed into mine, hard enough to make the wood moan underneath our combined weight.
'This must be another dream,' I thought as my nails angrily cut through the white t-shirt he was wearing, ripping it off his back. He moaned into my mouth and gripped me tighter as my nails raked across his now bare back and shoulders. He moved me off the wall, allowing me to rub myself over the front of his pants, but quickly anchored me up against the wall nearest my bedroom door, his mouth never leaving mine. His body felt so hard between my legs, forcing me to cry his name out while he pushed himself against my mound.
"Steve.." I whispered once his hands pulled me closer and tightened on my ass, "what're you doing?"
"Throwing inhibitions out the window, and trying to figure out what you want, I still don't know what all that means, and I'm mad as hell, so open your door, (y/n), now," Steve ordered against my mouth, and licked my lower lip.
I fumbled with the knob and turned it, quickly feeling my bed at my back, but my body submitted instantly to his rage, without even questioning it, taking in what my husband said.
His strong hands set me down and quickly ripped my shirt off and leggings, leaving me naked in front of him. He kneeled down on the bed and kissed my neck, nibbling all the way down to my breast.
I arched my body up, groaning his name through clenched teeth, but everything I'd dreamed about was nothing compared to what Steve was doing at that moment, taking the control out of my hands, and tying himself to me, my way.
I reached down and grabbed the button of his pants, undoing them in one swift movement and grabbing his dick through his boxer briefs. I smiled when I felt him gasp on top of me, as I pumped his already hard shaft in my hand.
"Oh god," Steve gasped, looking down as her hand pumped him. If she kept going like this he'd end up pouring into her soft hands, and he didn't want that, he wanted to be inside of her, letting his body make the decisions for once, and hope for the best.
So he moved her forward towards the headboard and drove his mouth to the warm tight spot between her legs.
He was surprised when she screamed out his name and pulled his hair when he slightly ground his teeth against her clit.
"Steve please...," she begged, meeting his eyes over her breasts, "I don't want to wait, just fuck me.. please..I missed you, and need this..I'm so sorry, about everything, please?!" She hissed, and scraped his shoulders with her nails, driving him crazy just with the slight sting, but he looked up at her, and smirked.
"You don't have to apologize for something you need from me, never apologize for telling me what want, ever, you understand?" He challenged, and watched as the shadows in her eyes disappeared, filling with content, and instant submission. His stomach clenched with just that one look, never really seeing it before, but taken aback by the rush of fire centering between his legs, "I'm gonna..I'm just gonna let go, for once, but honey, if I hurt you, say something, you understand?" He asked, always a little worried about his brute strength hurting her, but he was going to trust her, "say it."
"I understand, but I want you to let go, just be here with me, take it, I'm giving myself to you, blue eyes," she purred, and arched her back into his quivering frame, "and I trust you..with everything..you know that..please.."
"...please," I begged, ready to cum with his mouth parting my folds, but I wanted to feel him inside me, needed him inside me.
I could of sworn I got wetter once Steve growled as he threw his body on top of mine and roughly grabbed my legs to spread them open. He paused, and the sound of the forest nightlife along with our harsh breaths stretched out between us.
"I love you, so goddamned much," he whispered and roughly pushed his shaft inside of me.
I screamed once he stretched my walls, and buried himself deep within my core, without slowing down, and I gave myself up to it. I sank my teeth into the sensitive spot between his ear and shoulder, grunting when he grabbed onto the headboard and moaned.
"Oh," he gasped, stilling a bit, to calm himself, but he couldn't, and used the headboard to force himself deeper into her pliant body.
'This is what I've been missing?' He thought as he pumped into her, growing harder as she egged him on, and moved her hips against his.
He was desperate to know her this way, feel her fall apart in the ways she wanted, and she wanted it. He could tell by the way the sheets were already soaking wet underneath her curvy backside, and the wanton noises she was making. He just never imagined that this too, would bring an intimacy he never realized existed.
His wife was already falling apart underneath him, as he pushed himself inside of her, and tugged at her hair, forcing her face closer to his.
He admitted he liked the way her nails raked his back, he loved hearing her scream his name and curse.
He smirked as she grabbed his hand and slid his fingers into her mouth, biting them, and twisting her hot tongue around them.
He loved the impeding roughness, and harsh breathing, but her body was already tightening around his, ready for release, as he bit down on her nipple, forcing another harsh cry out of her mouth.
I moaned and yelled out his name as the hardest orgasm I've ever had burst between my legs, and we really hadn't even started. I whined once Steve pulled his shaft out, and teased my clit with the head of his dick, taking initiative, and doing things I didn't know he could, but if this was him letting go, then I wanted it.
I moved my hips, begging him to keep fucking me, to do whatever he wanted, but he was too focused on the space between my legs.
I looked down at our sweaty bodies, running my hand over Steve's taut stomach. In that moment the love I felt for this man had grown even more so, because with just this one act he was doing something I knew he wasn't entirely comfortable with, but my god it felt so good. We still had a long way to go, and needed to finish our conversation, but his rough hands, and determined gaze, was the only thing worth thinking about.
Our eyes met as he kissed me and pushed himself back inside my core. My throat was raw from screaming out his name, as he grounded himself to the hilt, and lifted my hips up off the bed, for better access.
"Steve, oh fuck," I groaned through my teeth, while he continued to groan and curse. I pushed myself onto my arms and met his thrusts, while reaching up and pinching his hard nipples.
"Christ," he moaned as his thrust became harder, and sloppier.
"I think you like that, so much, maybe you should cum for me," I demanded, letting go of everything in that heated moment, "cum for me Captain, come inside me."
Our bodies shook, and gleamed with sweat as we came apart together. Hearing Steve grunt my name and rut into as he came, is what sent my over the edge again. Our bodies twitched and spasmed as our high took us to a place we'd never been before. A place full of raw lovemaking, scratches and pounding bodies.
Steve collapsed on my chest, and tried to catch his breath.
"How was that Captain?" I asked in between breaths, kissing the top of his head, "um, I'm a little surprised..it seems like you kinda wanted that too," I admonished softly.
"Amazing as always, and..apparently I did," he replied, kissing the space in between my breasts, "but is it always over so fast?"
I giggled, "no, I mean it can, especially when there's alot of built up tension, but it can last however long YOU want it too. That's what I wanted, for you to be the one to take us higher, and take the initiative, with this YOU'RE in control, and can make me wait all night, or do whatever's tucked inside your mind... I didn't last very long either," I teased, and relaxed under his frame.
Steve kissed my chest again and made his way up to my lips, "I love you, and I'm up for whatever you want babe."
"I love you too," I insisted sleepily, crossing my legs behind his waist. I moved my hips again and watched him shudder on top of me, "I'm really glad you came after me Steve, but I thought...I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or upset earlier, but what did you mean by 'throwing your inhibitions out the window? I don't understand," I asked curiously, and touched his face.
My husband fixed his eyes on mine, and I fell into those deep blues, "I couldn't just let you leave like that, I.. I wanted to go after you, but I.. was just so surprised, and being called vanilla, didn't help," he ventured and rolled off of me, pulling me with him, so my head was laying on his chest, "I never really gave or even thought about doing things differently, because I wanted you to show you how I felt. I probably should of thought of it though, but Buck gave me some advice after you left," he paused, and ran his fingers down my back, "I was mad as hell when he finally explained what you meant by your vanilla term, but Buck said there's alot a man can do when he throws his inhibitions out the window. At first, I didn't really think I could do something like that, I'm always thinking about the next step, or the consequences, but when you opened the door and I saw you, I think I finally understood what he meant. I need you in more ways than just the one, just like you need me, I just.. I don't really know what that means, or how too," he admitted, and kissed the top of my head.
"Steve..." I mumbled, closing my eyes and rubbing my face against his chest, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept it from you for so long, I was just scared, and restless, but that doesn't mean I don't love how loving and delicate you are with me, I just.., there's so much more we can do, and I was just scared."
Steve grabbed my face and slowly brought it up so we were facing each other.
"That's what I don't want, I don't want you to be afraid to tell me anything," he whispered as his blue eyes searched mine, "sometimes I still get so envious of the relationship you and Tony share, cause you go to him for almost anything, and don't get me wrong I understand, because I do that with Buck, and Sam, but I want that with you too. I mean we do have that, but you're my wife, I want you to be able to tell me what you want, or what you need," he sighed, and briefly closed his eyes, astonishing me with his admittance about Tony, "when we got married, we promised to be open, and communicate, because it's something we should have, but also because I don't like secrets, neither do you. I love you so much, and I found the one person who makes all that bad stuff worth it, and I'd probably do anything you layed out in front of me, because of it."
"Steve?" I whispered, while my eyes teared up, and my heart started beating erratically, "I love you too, so much, and I promise I'll..."
Steve interrupted my thought, by softly kissing my lips and pulling me over his body, which had me straddling his waist. His hands were soft on my hips as he rubbed circles against my skin with his calloused thumbs.
I groaned and I felt him harden underneath me, while our kiss deepened, and my hair fanned over us. My shaky hands reached down and slowly slipped his length back inside me, enjoying the slight sting, and pressure building up in my abdomen.
I leaned back and watched Steve's eyes widen as I began grinding my hips back and forth over his waist.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, as he sat up and wrapped his arms around my body.
I smiled and brought my mouth back to his, dragging my tongue over his lips. His breath hitched as I slowly lifted my body up and down over his, reaching behind me and gently raking my fingernails over his sac.
"Oh god," he gasped again, once I gently squeezed them and began rocking faster and faster over his bulging shaft.
"We can ease into this," I mumbled against his mouth.
I was already a moaning mess with his member so deep inside my womb, but as he bit down on my neck, my third orgasm ripped through my body, causing me to come down harder on his length. My sensitive nipples brushed against his chest, but I grabbed the back of his hair and roughly pulled his head back. Our eyes never left each other's as I bucked back and forth on top of him.
"Like hell, I'm... oh FUCK!" He growled into my mouth as warmth coated my insides, adding to the wet sheets.
"Steve!" I yelled, my voice hoarse from screaming his name over and over again, as I shuddered, urging my body to keep going.
"Jeez! Don't... don't stop," he urged, falling back on the bed as I kept bouncing on his dick.
The noises I was making seemed to egg him on, since he grabbed my ass and began bringing my body down harder over him.
"Fuck me Captain, harder!" I yelled, growling when his hand started to massage my breast, "yes, right there, fuck me, fuck me, don't stop."
My body was so sensitive and hot, that once his teeth bit down on my nipple, and his fingers slipped between my folds, rubbing my throbbing clit, I was gone, taken on a wave of feeling and Steve.
He lifted his hips, pushing himself farther and harder into my quivering womb, while harsh whimpers left our mouths as our bodies collapsed onto one another. We were both sweaty, sticky messes, but I felt closer to him now than I ever did before.
"If we do that again, I think we'll both die," Steve snorted, trying to catch his breathe.
"Agreed, I actually don't think I can move," I replied, reveling in the fact he was still inside me, and I was probably going to pass out from exhaustion, with him right here with me.
My eyes closed, succumbing to the well earned sleep that had now taken over my mind and body.
"I'm assuming that was just a small taste of what to expect here, but I didn't know it could be like that?" He whispered, kissing the top of my head, surprising me with his curiosity.
"Hmmmm, and just think, we haven't even really started the fun stuff, but that was a great start Captain," I retorted, snuggling into his warm body. The sweat making the mild breeze, seem colder on my hot skin.
"Let's take a nice hot shower doll, then we'll curl up and go to bed, or maybe actually talk about everything, and what you mean by fun stuff," he whispered, easily getting up and carrying me into the large bathroom.
"We can do whatever you want, and I love you Steve," I mumbled, kissing the middle of his back as he started the shower, "and I'm sorry I took off like that..how'd you even know where I was?"
"Uh, I called Tony to see if you were headed over there, when he said no, and hadn't talked to you, he had FRIDAY map out where you could be going, since she wasn't exactly forthcoming with information," he admitted, and tilted my chin up, "when I saw the direction you were headed, I remembered you had a cabin up here, so I took a chance. And I love you too, more than you know," my husband added, helping me into the warm shower.
Hot water sprayed over me, relaxing my muscles and the stress I was feeling from earlier, but I turned around after a few quiet minutes, and wrapped my arms around Steve's muscled frame, once he got in.
"I didn't think you remembered I had this place," I sighed happily, realizing I wanted to share this place with him, and have him be a part of it, "I really don't know what I've done to deserve someone like you," I whispered, pulling his body under the hot water.
His blue eyes looked deeply into mine, as he pushed some wet hair off my face, "I feel the same honey, I never thought that I'd find someone again, I'd all but given up on being with someone, on a family, on a home, and too be honest, you caught my attention a long time ago," he confessed, and brushed my cheek with a kiss.
"What?" I stammered, frowning up at him, "but you..?"
"I know what I told you it was the day you put me on my ass during training, that everything fell into place," he added quickly and let a smirk spread over his pink lips, "but honestly, I noticed you, and..this small flutter.." he paused, and relinquished a long sigh, "in New York, when Coulson dropped you off, and you landed in the middle of all of us, and smiled like some lunatic. You even winked at Tasha, and Tony, before flipping off Clint, and unshackling your batons. You popped your neck, and that long hair of yours was down, and that damned uniform was tighter than Tasha's..I had no idea who the hell you were, but my first thought..well, was wow, and all I could really do was listen as you barked orders and took over..there were so many times after that, you do realize you're the one who saved my life on that carrier, and nearly killed Buck?" He smirked, putting his hand on my chest, using the other to caress my cheek.
"Steve? I..I don't know what to say?" I mumbled, as tears swelled in my eyes, taken aback by his confession, "and I was doing my job on that damned carrier, since you were literally begging Buck to kill you, and I couldn't let him escape.."
"Was that really the only reason Mrs. Rogers, cause you sure seemed to care quite a bit once you got me to shore," he mentioned haughtily, and held my face in his hands, "I still don't remember much, but I remember your eyes, and your lips moving, you looked angry.."
"I was mad, you asshole, I thought you were gonna die, and that's all I needed was Captain America dying on my watch for being stupid," I chuckled, before I brought his lips down on mine.
All the worry and fear I felt earlier was completely gone, this man was my everything, and since I believed him, had caught his attention years ago. I wished I would of noticed sooner, but life had a way of distracting me from what I had in front of me.
Before I met Steve and after my break up with Tony, I told myself in my line of work I wouldn't be able to meet someone or get to know someone long enough to have a relationship.
Hell, I felt the same way Steve did, about relationships in the beginning.
I really didn't have much, I had Phil, Natasha and Tony, but other than that I really felt alone in the world. I kept that small fear hidden from everyone, but once Steve came into my life, everything changed, he seemed to brighten the shadows in my dark corners.
"I love you," I murmured against his lips, as his hands gripped my bottom and pulled me even closer to him.
"I love you, more than anything in the world, till the end of the line baby," he yawned, kissing my forehead, "now let's shower before we end up, you know.."