"What the hell were you thinking and then you have the audacity to walk in here looking like some classless tramp? All that damn make-up all over your face. You must have forgotten that you are 14 and not 18. Get your ass in your room, you are grounded until further notice." My mom yelled. I couldn't even say a word. I knew it was coming. It was my own fault. I can't believe that I let some dude get in my head so heavy anyway but the night was unbelievable.
When I walked into my bedroom I looked at my clock that ready 1 am. All she did was yell, shot I was lucky. She must have really been worried. Usually defiance warranted a hand across my face. I honest felt bad though, my mom was shaking with anger and I couldn't blame her. I was all she had left and instead of being home where she expected me to be I was nowhere to be found. How did I let Tre convince me that what I was doing was ok? I knew it was wrong but when I looked into his eyes I couldn't say no.
I looked over at the phone. I was tempted to call him. My thoughts were spread over everything we had done in the past couple of hours. It seemed as though he had something left to say to me but nothing ever came out of his mouth. Just as I was about to get up and get the phone my mom came through my door and snatched the entire cord out of the wall.
"You parading around with some boy like a little tramp. No daughter of mine is going to be out here hanging with no nigga all hours of the night." She slammed the door behind her as she left. I was astonished. I shook my head and started to remove my clothes. They were the best clothes that I had. I looked at my bed and saw the outfit I had laid out for tomorrow and it suddenly hit me. I was supposed to call Tyler. I was supposed to ask my mom if I could go out on a date with him. Well I definitely wasn't going now. Maybe this was for the best. I don't know what was up with me today with Tyler anyway. I shrugged my shoulders and put away the clothes. It's not like I can do anything about it. No phone and I can't leave the house, I guess contact with the outside world is a no go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By Monday morning I was excited to go to school. My mom wasn't even allowing Kennedy to come over. I was literally alone with my anxious thoughts of Tre. Somehow I had convinced myself that the activities that we partook in on Friday were in no way a date but I needed to talk to my best friend about it to be sure. Oh course for some reason or the other Kennedy was not going to school today and I was devastated. I even resorted to begging but she said she wasn't feeling well. I walked into the building officially wanting to be somewhere else and that feeling was multiplied when I saw Tre standing with his friends and Rosie hooked onto his arm. I stared him down as I walked by.
"You got a problem." Rosie asked turning toward me as I passed her. I looked back at her as if she had an issue and continued moving. She wasn't worth my time. "What the fuck bitch?" I heard her yelling.
"Yo chill the fuck out." I heard Tre reply. I rolled my eyes and headed to homeroom. I was right. It wasn't a date. It was just some bull. Why would he do that? Why would he play with my feelings like that? I believed him. I believed that he could only be himself with me. I felt so stupid.
"Yo Nay what happened?" I heard Tyler's voice. I looked up at him from my head down position. I knew my eyes had to be red because I could feel them stinging with tears. His smile instantly faded and he bent down to be eye level with me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing I'm good." I replied turning away from him. He just moved back in front of me.
"Don't tell me nothing and your crying Nay." He reached out as if he was going to wipe my tears and I flinched away. Why was I feeling like if he touched me I would melt? He looked at me for a second and then slowly reached toward me. This time I didn't move. I felt the tears well in my eye, break the brim of my lashes and roll down towards my cheek. His hand came gently in contact with my skin just in time for him to catch the tear and wipe it away.
"Please don't cry. Whatever it is, it's not worth these tears on your beautiful face." He caressed my face softly. As tear after tear slipped from my eyes and I sobbed silently. He looked amazingly gentle, calm and sincere in his caring for me. I honestly didn't understand what was going on inside of me. I don't know how long he squatted beside my desk but I did hear the first bell ring signaling students to make their way toward class.
"Ty let me up." I said quietly. I walked over to my teacher's desk and grabbed a few tissues. I wiped my face and headed out the door. I needed to clean up. I didn't want Tyler looking at me with that mixture of sadness, caring and understanding. It was like everything in him was saying I'm here for you and my heart was starting to sway. I was starting to feel better just because of his presence and that shouldn't be possible. I hurried back to class not wanting to be late. Tyler was talking to some of the other guys from our class and I was grateful. I didn't want him to come over to me again. I wasn't sure how to handle him right now.
As soon as the bell rang to end class, I pretty much ran out the door. I had class with Tyler all day but I knew how to avoid him. I was tripping right now. The only reason why my heart was swaying was because Tre hurt me, other than that I wouldn't even look Tyler's way, right? I stood in the bathroom trying to convince myself that I had gotten over my crush on Tyler that was at its strongest just last year. I remembered the last day of school. All year I had been admiring him from afar. I mean all the girls did. Tyler is sexy. On the last day of school he had sat with me at lunch, he partnered with me for all class activities for field day, and he had walked me to my bus at the end of the day. I felt so special until Kristen Beagle made me painfully away that I wasn't as cute or popular as her. The hurt of that day cut into my heart and I instantly wanted to go home.
Just as I was about to leave the bathroom in walks who else other than Rosie and her two lackies. I rolled my eyes to myself and headed towards the exit but they blocked me.
"I've been waiting to see you all day." Rosie said. I gave her an unimpressed look. "You need to stay away from my man." The sound of her voice was annoying to me. I almost said something but I decided the best approach to this was silence. I really didn't want to have to fight anyone. Not that I was scared but I had a perfect school record and I wasn't trying to mess that up because of someone else's ignorance.
"Looks like the little rat is scared to talk. Tre only gives you attention because he feels sorry for you. You don't have nothing, you look like nothing, and you'll never be nothing." I couldn't help the snide smirk that came across my face.
"I'll never be nothing. Do you mean I'm going to be everything?" I thought to myself learn how to talk bitch, double negatives were taught in 5th grade.
"No I mean you ain't going to be nothing." She said getting loud and getting in my face. I just shook my head and moved to walk away. Donkey and Diddy Kong were still blocking my path though.
"Look Rosie call off your guard dogs and let me go to class. I don't have time for this for real." I said finally feeling irritated enough to entertain the petty fest.
"Who you calling a dog bitch?" One of the girls lashed out. I didn't even acknowledge her ass, I was staring down Rosie.
"Stay away from Tre."
"Tell Tre to stay away from me. I don't want him anyway. He the one always following me around like a puppy. So get your mind right." I turned and pushed through the two in the door way before leaving the bathroom. I can't believe she just tried to confront me. The tardy bell rang and I was pissed. I went to the tardy station for a note and then to class. When I walked through the door Tyler was staring straight at me. I rolled my eyes and headed to my seat after the giving Mrs. Gregors my tardy note. I can make it thought this day.
I made it to lunch without contact with Tyler even though he was trying. As I walked out of the lunch line though I couldn't avoid him anymore, he walked right up to me and grabbed my arm. He pulled me to an empty lunch table and forced me to sit with him.
"Are you avoiding me?" He questioned. I sighed and focused in on my lunch. I popped a fry into my mouth. "Really Nay?"
"What you want me to say?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm avoiding you."
"What did I do?" The look on his face pulled at my heart. How could he look so sincere? I sighed again before giving in.
"You didn't do anything. I had a sucky weekend. I got on punishment which is why I didn't call you. Sorry."
"I thought I did something."
"No it wasn't you."
"What was wrong this morning?"
"Nothing, I'm just feeling emotional." I lied. He looked at me with raised eyebrows and then nodded knowingly.
"Yo lady time."
"Ty shut up." I laughed for the first time today. I smiled at Ty and looked off behind him only to come eye to eye with Tre who was looking not so happy. I let my smile drop but I tried hard not to be suspicious. "So how was your weekend?"
"It was cool." He grabbed a fry from my tray.
"I guess something's never change." He looked at me strange. "You always ate my food in middle school too." He smiled.
"But that's because you never ate it all." He laughed.
"Because you ate most of it." I replied.
"Ok ok. I used to be hungry."
"You still are." We laughed together.
"Nay I have a serious question."
"I have a serious answer." He shook his head at me.
"Why didn't we go out in middle school?" I looked at him confused.
"What you mean?" He looked at me blank faced. "I mean, I didn't know you liked me in middle school."
"Nay, I used to try to do anything for your attention."
"Yeah right." I was not hearing this right now. Luckily the bell rang. I stood up reaching for my tray but he grabbed it from my hands first. I just stared at him as he smiled and headed for the trash can. I don't know why but I followed him. We walked to class together, neither of us saying anything. When we reached the door, he stepped back and let me go in first. My cheeks felt warm for some reason. I just went to my seat and put my head down. I could not focus on anything the teacher was saying. My mind was filled with thoughts of Tyler liking me. How could he like me? In middle school, he flirted with all the girls. We sat together at lunch from time to time and we hung out in gym together from time to time but nothing that screamed I like you.
All he ever did was pick on me and start play fights really. I peeked up from my head down position and took a quick glance in his direction. He was looking at me. I quickly put my head back down as a blush took over my face. Why was I feeling so giddy right now?
The rest of the school day passed quickly and I was honestly feeling stuck. I didn't know what to say to Tyler and I knew he would want to talk. I really wanted to avoid him. His revelation had made me over process every memory I had of him. Could it really be true that the guy I crushed on all through middle school was crushing on me too?
When the bell rang, I rushed out of the classroom toward my locker. For some reason I was feeling very happy with myself. This could not be because of what Tyler said but I knew it was no matter how I tried to deny it.
"Hey Nay, you be runnin or nah?" Tyler said coming over to me with a bright smile on his face. I rolled my eyes.
"Running from what?" I questioned with my head down sure to look in my locker because I knew if I looked at him then the blush would take over my face.
"Me girl." I knew he had that smile on his face. He looked so innocent when he smiled like that. I pulled myself together enough to give him the blank stare. He burst into laughter and put his arm around my shoulder. "I'm joking, I'm joking." I rolled my eyes and shrugged him off before continuing gathering the books I needed for homework.
"So about this date we were supposed to have..."
"I already told you what happened with th..."
"Shh girl, let me finish dang." He said cutting me off. "Since I know your mom not letting you off the hook no time soon, how about a study date?" I looked at him like he had ten heads.
"What you mean?" I questioned confused.
"What do you think about me coming over to your house and we study. Maybe we could talk, get to know each other, decide where we're going to go when we go on a real date..." He looked at me hopeful. I couldn't lie, the thought of Tyler at my house had my heart about to bounce out my chest.
"Ty I'm on some serious punishment right now. I can't even talk to Ken."
"But I really need help..." He whined. I cut my eyes at him and he put on that angelic smile. I shook my head.
"I'll ask her."
"That's all I ask for." He replied and smiled at me again. He looked super excited and it made me melt but I wasn't about to show him that. I pushed him and closed my locker. As soon as I did I felt my arm being grabbed and my body being pulled down the hallway. I looked back at Ty who was looking pissed off and then I looked up to see Tre wearing a similar expression.
"I'll see you later Ty." I called out to him because it looked as though he was about to go off. He looked at me strange but looked resolved.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He replied as Tre and I turned the corner. I moved to snatch my arm away and proceed to flip but when I looked up at Tre the look in his eyes was telling me to shut up and just walk. He looked into a classroom and as soon as he saw it was empty he pulled me inside and closed the door.
"What the fuck?" He questioned in a harsh whisper. I looked at him mind boggled.
"Who pissed in your corn flakes?"
"I ain't in the mood for smart ass remarks. You haven't so much as called me since Friday and then today you booed up with that lame ass faggit nigga. You haven't even said a fucking word to me." Officially I was pissed.
"What you mean? What was I supposed to say to you with you cuddled up with Rosie all damn day. Besides we both know that little outing didn't mean anything." I replied.
"The fuck you mean it didn't mean anything? Nay I told you shit that I don't tell anyone."
"Ok and?"
"And?"
"Yeah and. You are supposed to be my best male friend so of course you should feel comfortable talking to me." He looked at me confused and then frustrated.
"Really Nay? Friends?" His tone and inclination said a lot but I subconsciously refused to acknowledge it. Tre and I were just friends and that's all it would ever be. He had Rosie and soon, maybe, I would have Ty. I looked at him.
"What would you call us?"
"I would call you my girl." He said it so smoothly and without hesitation. I actually started laughing.
"You so funny." I said calming my laughter. "Why you always playing? I'm not even your type."
"What's my type?" He questioned.
"Big booty Judy."
"You got a lil onion on ya shawty." I stared at him with the blank face and he started laughing. I don't know when it happened but the atmosphere around us instantly lifted
"You know your girl was trying to fight me today?" I sat down on a desk and looked at him.
"Oh word. I ga ah. She be doin ta much." He replied.
"The most though." I added.
"So wha bout our date? Ya ha fun."
"It was fun different definitely." He nodded in smiled. He stepped between my legs and rubbed my thighs. It still amazed me that he was the only guy I didn't mind touching me.
"Nay, why ya ont take me serious?"
"How can I Tre? You always playing." I smiled at him. He smirked back at me. His eyes were saying something but I wasn't sure. He moved closer to me. His legs were spreading mine but I hadn't really noticed. I was looking in his face trying to figure out what his eyes were trying to say to me passed that slick smirk.
"I on't eva be playin witcha though." His hand was resting on my thigh.
"Yeah you are." He suddenly moved and hooked my leg over his hip and grabbed the back on my neck. He leaned in close to me.
"I ain't though." I could feel his breath on my lips and my brain froze before the alert started flying. He was just about to kiss me when I put my hands on his chest and pushed with all my strength. He stumbled back a little with a laugh.
"Gur, ya act like I wa gonna take it or som'in." He chuckled but his eyes told me push me away or I'm going to have my way with you. I just stared at him and he suddenly stopped laughing.
"Ya aight?" he questioned. I slide off the desk.
"I got to go. My mom waiting for me to get home. I'm on punishment."
"Nay wait. I wa just playin." There it was again that feeling that everything between us was a joke. Why do I keep getting my hopes up with Tre? I just need to let go of this little crush. He always pushes my limits and nothing good has come of me being friends with him. He is the reason why I'm on punishment now. I need to just leave him alone.
"I'm good. I got to go though. I'll see you later." I smiled but inside I was feeling a tangle of emotions that made no sense. I was hurt, relieve, sad, angry and happy all at the same time and I couldn't understand any of it. As I left the classroom, I had the distinct feeling of wanting to see Tyler. Whenever Tre upset me it was Tyler that brought my spirits up and right now I needed that. I was sure that he was long gone until I walked outside the building and saw him standing against the railing. He looked at me with that smile and I melted. I smiled and bounced down the stairs towards him.
"You ready?" He questioned.
"Are you planning to walk me home?" I asked. He nodded and I blushed. We didn't say a word as we headed toward the bus station to my house, I felt a peace inside though.