The next morning didn’t come easy, everything from the night before flooding back to me. I shook my head, remembering last night’s activities and how Niall had saved me. It left such a warm feeling in my body that I couldn’t push the grin away that was forming on my face. I looked over at him, passed out, on his back, snoring lightly with the sheets kicked off of his body. I had my head resting on his bicep while my back was pressed to his side, fighting off a tangle of covers as I tried to sit up.
Without waking him, I climbed out of the bed and opened my drawer, grabbing a pair of skinny jeans and tugging them on. I threw my hair up into a ponytail, rubbing my eyes sleepily while walking to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. While it brewed, I trudged out the front door and down to the mailbox, pulling out various envelopes and magazines. When I turned, I saw something in the middle of the road, glints of sunlight bouncing off of it. I walked over to it, shaking my head once I realized what it was; a cell phone. Niall’s, to be specific. I picked it up, walking back into my house and being as quiet as I could.
The coffee was done, so I dumped the mail on the table and grabbed a cup, pouring a cup and spooning sugar into it before I sat down, rifling through everything. I sighed when I saw the bills, tearing open one about the rent and feeling my heart drop into the pit of my stomach when it read that I was late. I had no clue how that was possible, considering I dropped the check off three weeks ago and it wasn’t due until a month after that. I laid that aside, opening and discarding all of the junk before I reached for my magazine and thumbed through it, deciding it was terrible and there was really no reason to read it.
I picked up the rent notice again.
Right at that moment, Niall walked out of the bedroom, running a hand through his hair and yawning. I watched him over the rim of my coffee cup, smiling as he struggled to find the mugs.
“They’re above the dishwasher ” I said, and he waved a hand over his shoulder before moving and grabbing one. He joined me at the table a few moments later, his brow furrowing.
“Have you seen my phone?” His voice was gruff with sleep, the words lazily coming off of his tongue and it felt like I’d plunged into a warm bath from all the feeling that I felt then. I held up the cracked and broken contraption in my hand, handing it to him.
“I found it this morning.”
“Hm, I must have dropped it last night.” We fell silent at those words, and I blushed furiously before trying to focus on the letter.
“What did you mean by what you told me last night?” He asked, and I looked up to him, surprised at his cool expression as the green cup dangled from his fingers.
“What do you mean?” I asked quietly, setting down the paper.
“About Darren.” Just the mention of his name made me angry and frightened all at once. I stood up, taking my empty cup with me. “Bleu.” Niall warned, and I heard him stand, following me.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said, putting the cup into the sink.
“You did last night.”
“That was last night.” I said, a hint of plead in my tone.
“So why not today? What’s wrong now? Are you scared to talk about it when you’re coherent and not crying your eyes out because of how scared you are-”
I slammed the cup down in the sink, water spraying everywhere as I whipped around, closing my eyes as tight as I could. “Dammit, I said I didn’t want to talk about it!” I shouted, slumping against the counter and putting my face in my hands. My chest was tight and a familiar lump in my throat, but I refused to cry. It wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it.
I heard Niall exhale, and when I looked up, he was staring to the left, his jaw clenched and hands balled into fists. “I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you. Not yet.” I whispered, gripping my arm with one hand.
“I just want to help you.” He sounded angry, but when he turned his gaze on me, I saw the hurt in his expression. It shocked me, really, and it made me want to hold him until it all went away.
“I know. But…I can’t tell you.” I said, trying to make it hurt less.
“Why not?” He growled, anger flashing through his eyes.
“Because if you think you were mad when you saw him at the club, when I tell you what he did to me, I don’t think you’ll be able to stop.” We both stopped, and I waited on baited breath as his eyes darkened and narrowed to electric slits, lips set in a thin line.
“Bleu, right now I’ve got ideas in my head that make me want to kill him, and I will if you don’t tell me what he did to you.”
“Why does it matter so much to you?!” I shouted, scared to death that he was actually going to do something.
“Because you matter to me!” He yelled back, and I didn’t realize that I was so tense until the breath whooshed out of me in that instant.
We stared for what felt like forever until I finally walked toward him, sliding my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, unable to resist the urge to put my arms around him any longer. He closed his eyes, lifting his hands to place them on my arms, his thumbs rubbing back and forth slowly. I slid my arms the rest of the way around his neck, reaching up on my tiptoes to bury my face in the crook of his neck, closing my eyes once he’d secured his embrace around my waist, his arms squeezing me in a comfort I’d never known. “Niall…” I breathed, trying to find the right words to say to him. “Mm?” He mumbled into my hair, his hands rubbing over the small of my back. “Niall, while I don’t doubt you want to know just so you can protect me, please, please understand the only reason I’m not telling you is because if you kill him, I don’t think I could live with you going to jail.”
I meant for it to be serious, but Niall laughed so loud and suddenly I jumped. His laugh was contagious, and I found myself smiling. “Love, is that what you’re really worried about?” He asked, and I furrowed my brow, confused at why he would think that’s funny.
“Well, yeah. I don’t want you to get arrested." He chuckled lowly, running his hands along my sides now, a grin taking over his features.
He leaned down, pressing his forehead to my own and stealing my breath. “Would you come visit me in prison, Bleu?” He asked, and I twisted my mouth, thinking about it.
“Hmm. No.” I said, breaking away from him.
“What?” He asked, and grabbed me by my hips. I tried, but failed, at keeping the smile off of my face, grinning when he wheeled me around to face him, a smile on his face. “You heard me.”
“Gah, I’m hurt.” He said, putting a hand over his chest a feigning pain.
“Oh, shut up.” I said, pushing away from him and escaping before he could grab me again.
“You really wouldn’t come visit me?” He called, and I turned to look over my shoulder.
“No!”
“Guess I’ll have to keep out, eh?” He asked, winking at me. I rolled my eyes, disappearing down the hallway. He followed me, appearing much faster than I thought he would have. “Did you just roll your eyes at me?” He asked, and I squealed as he ran up behind me faster than I could get away and started tickling me.
“Niall! Stop!” I laughed, bursting into another round of giggles. Eventually I just gave up, sinking lower and lower until I was a laughing, dying mess on the floor. I could hardly breathe, and he was standing over me, laughing himself.
“What the hell?” He asked, laughing again.
“Don’t tickle me.” I giggled, looking up at him from the floor.
“I’m sorry.” He said, and next thing I knew, he was right above me.
His hands were braced on either side of my head and every part of his body was pressed to my own. I could hardly breathe as it was, and this wasn’t helping any.
“It’s okay.” I breathed, his head tilting to the side and studying me, causing a blush to creep on my cheeks. He smirked down at me, moving in to press his lips to my exposed neck. His kisses were gentle and warm, surprising me. “Don’t you have work?” I whispered, clutching his shirt in my hands until my knuckles were pressed against his ribcage.
“Mm, I can be late today.” His lips moved up my jaw line, sucking lightly. He moved to the hollow behind my ear, finally letting his teeth nip at the sensitive skin there. I couldn’t hold back the gasp as shivers shot through my body, clutching Niall to me tighter.
His lips moved to my own, finally closing the distance between us. His body dipped down to mine, a moan emanating from his throat as his arousal pressed into my thigh. My name passed through his lips before capturing my bottom lip between his and sucking lightly. “Are. You. Sure?” I asked through kisses, but he didn’t reply.
My phone started ringing right at that moment, blasting high pitched notes through my house. I pushed Niall off, or tried to, but he had different ideas, shielding my body with his. “Niall. Let me up.” I said, pushing on him, but he just kissed my neck and wrapped his big arms around my waist, pulling me back down with him. His hair tickled my chin and ear, and as hard as I tried I just couldn’t get him off of me. “Let me up!” I shouted, rolling my eyes as he laughed.
“Give me a kiss.”
“No!”
“Yes.” He mumbled, kissing my jaw again.
“Fine.” I said, pressing my lips to his. It was meant to be hasty, but he had different ideas, deepening the kiss until shivers were running down my spine to my toes and back up again. When I pulled away, I was dazed and fighting to get on my feet. I reached the phone just in time, sliding my thumb along the screen to answer it.
“Hello?” I asked, trying to sound put-together.
“Hello. Is this Bleu Rochester?”
“This is she.” I said, wondering just who this could be.
“Hi, Bleu. This is David Stevens, your landlord. I was calling to ask if you knew you were late on your rent.” There was strain on his voice, and I knew he was trying to be nice about it. My heart thumped slower and there was a ringing in my ears.
“Oh, yes. I got the letter this morning.” I could feel Niall’s eyes on my back, but I tried to ignore it.
“Oh, okay, good. Do you have any idea when you’ll be able to pay it?” I knew I had savings, but I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to tap into that just yet.
“Yeah, I’ll have the check mailed as soon as possible. I’m really sorry, I won’t let it happen again.”
“Alright, just as long as you can pay it. Have a great day.”
“Thank you. You too. Bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up, my head swimming.
I turned to find Niall leaning against the counter in the kitchen, arms crossed lazily over his chest as he narrowed his gaze on me. “What was that about?” He asked, his tone deeper and less playful than before.
“Nothing you need to worry about.” I said, dropping my phone on the counter.
“Oh, really? Because if anything is going on that could hurt you, I do need to worry about it.”
“Niall, I’m not getting hurt.” I snapped, finally turning my gaze on him.
“Are you sure? Because you look a little wound up and I don’t consider someone this tense to be okay.” He said, gesturing to me standing there.
“I’m fine.” I spat, but his eyebrows quirked up at the way my voice sounded.
“Then why don’t I believe you?”
“I don’t know! Maybe you have trust issues!”
“I don’t think so. I think you’re just being defensive.”
“Because it’s none of your business!” I shrieked, throwing my hands in the air. I sighed, closing my eyes, thumping my head down on my arms and resting them on the counter. It was completely quiet, except for the dull thump of my heart in my ears and my shallow breaths. I was praying I wasn’t about to break down again.
Then I felt his hands on my shoulders, thumbs pushing down on my tense muscles. Electricity shot up and down my body, and I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped my lips. His hands were so warm and strong yet gentle and I don’t think I would ever get enough of them. He leaned down and suddenly his lips were on the back of my neck, his thumbs slowly moving up the sides and rubbing the knots out.
“Do you want to talk about it, Darling?” He mumbled against my skin, for once actually caring if I wanted to answer his questions.
“No. Not yet.” I grumbled, clutching the edge of the counter as his hands pressed on my lower back. I heard his low chuckle, but I ignored it.
“Do you like that, Bleu?” He asked, his breath still hitting the back of my neck.
“Mhm.” I moaned, right as he dug his hands into my muscles again.
“How about I stay with you today? I’m sure I could call in.”
“Niall,” I said, turning around and forcing his hands away before I fell asleep.
“I don’t want you missing work just because I had a bad morning.” I said, my mouth tilting down at the corners. He came closer, my back pressing against the edge of the counter as his warm hands cupped my face.
“I want to make sure you’re okay. And I can tell you don’t feel like doing much of anything. We should just spend the day in bed. You and me.” I placed my hands on his wrists, fighting back the tears. I was so stressed, and arguing with Niall wasn’t helping any. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes.
“You’re not my boyfriend, Niall. Why are you doing this?” I asked, clenching my jaw and swallowing the lump in my throat.
“Because I want to make sure you’re alright.”
“I’m fine!” I cried, my eyes snapping up to look into his own.
They flicked over every inch of my face, inspecting me. His mouth was set into a thin line, all traces of joking gone. “Then how come I don’t believe you?”
“Maybe you have trust issues.”
“Yeah, I’m the problem, right.”
“You are! God, you always try to get inside my head and I don’t need you to take care of me!”
“I only try to get inside your head because I can’t figure you out! And I think you’re a damn liar if you think you don’t need me to take care of you! You may think you’re made of fucking steel, Bleu, but you’ve already been broken and I can see it. I’ll be damned if anything happens to you from here on out, so stop trying to push me away. I’m not your punching bag.” He was all fire, eyes blazing and chest heaving.
“If you don’t want me to push you away, then stop getting closer!” I shouted at him.
“Do you think it’s that easy?” He growled.
We were inches apart, neither backing down. I could feel the heat on my cheeks, my eyes narrowed with anger. This was what I did. This was what I was good at. I could push anyone away, or so I thought, but Niall wasn’t budging. I didn’t know whether to admire him, or hate him for it.
“Maybe you should fight it, if you’re that tough.”
“But here’s the thing, Love.” His accent was thick with anger and frustration, and I didn’t know if I should admire him or push him away even more. “I don’t want to, and I can’t.”
Niall's POV
She was so small, yet she had more fire in her than I think I did. She was so different from all these other girls that would submit in the blink of an eye, but no, not Bleu. And it kind of got on my nerves.
“You’re the one I want, Bleu. And I’m not going anywhere.” I said, watching her eyes narrow even more, if that was even possible. She settled back, her fists clenched by her sides and her jaw working and grinding down words I could tell she wanted to say. She probably wanted to punch me in the face, too.
She turned and walked away from me, heading towards her bedroom and away from me. “Bleu.” I warned, turning on my heel and following her. When I reached the doorway of her room, she had her hands in her hair and her eyes closed, just standing there.
“Just…leave me alone right now. I’m going to take a shower.” She said, thumping towards the bathroom off the edge of her room. She slammed the door, shaking the windows in the house.
I sighed, walking over to her bed and flopping down. The covers were strewn everywhere and the pillows were on opposite sides of the bed, not even touching. I closed my eyes, rubbing at them with the heels of my palms, yawning. The water turned on, and I heard her mumbling things through the walls. I smiled to myself, remembering how…amazing she looked just moments before.
God, what am I doing.