Chapter Eighteen
Lily nearly dropped her books as the hand dragged her behind one of the tapestries on the fourth floor corridor; her heart pounded in her chest as she squealed in surprise and she screamed again as she saw James standing in front of her, his tall frame and the very small space in which they were standing blocking her view of anything other than his chest. “Oh my god Potter!” she cried. “What was that for?”
“James,” he corrected her.
“I don’t care!” she shouted back. “Let me go!”
“I need to talk to you Lily,” he said, reaching out to grab her arms as she tried to extricate herself from him and the tapestry.
“I don’t care. Why couldn’t you have just come up to me in the common room like a normal person?” She glared at him and he quailed under the fury in her gaze.
“I’m sorry Lily!” he spluttered. “I just really needed to talk to you and I saw you walk past and I know you have a free period because we’re in all the same classes and I have one now so I thought I’d talk to you but I agree, in hindsight I should have just come up to you normally.” As his words tumbled out of his mouth he fiddled with the collar of his shirt and the two buttons which he had left open there, leaving his neck bare, before moving on to adjust his glasses and run his hands through his hair. He was obviously nervous and Lily felt a little bad for him; it was kind of sweet. Suddenly she realised that he had finished talking and that he was gazing at her earnestly, waiting for her to say something. “Um… fine,” she sighed, sure that she was going to regret it later, “what did you want to talk to me about?”
James’ face broke into a wide smile, the smile which had charmed so many professors and students, and he said, “Well it’s actually about Sirius.”
Lily wrinkled her brow in bewilderment. “Sirius?” she questioned.
“Yes,” he replied as Lily ducked under his arm and turned to leave, “wait, where are you going?”
She shook her head and said, “Out, James. Or do we have to conduct the whole of this conversation behind this tapestry?” James ruffled his hair and said, “Well I quite like the atmosphere of this alcove…” He dropped the sarcasm as soon as he saw Lily glare at him and roll her eyes and he continued, “But you know, it’s fine, wherever! Let’s go then,” and held the tapestry out for her.
“I just don’t understand how you know about places like this James,” she muttered as they headed back along the corridor.
“Well Sirius and I found this one when we were hiding from Filch one night in our second year,” he said with a blithe smile.
“Right.” She pursed her lips and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear as they headed up the stairs. “Well I don’t really know how you expect me to help with Sirius; he’s your friend.”
“Oh well it’s not so much about Sirius as about Cassie and Sirius,” James replied.
“Did he put you up to this?” she asked warily.
“No, of course not. Why?”
“I don’t know but I feel like there’s something suspicious happening here,” she said.
James ran his hands through his hair and gave her a stunning smile. “No, of course not. I just… I just wanted to talk to you because he likes her but now Rob’s… interested in her and I wanted to know whether you think that will go anywhere… or you know, whether you might be able to steer her towards him instead.”
Lily stopped dead and clutched her books tighter; her hands were itching to go to her hips but she couldn’t because of all the textbooks she was carrying. It took a moment for James to realise that she was no longer walking alongside him and when he did he turned to face her, his lanky frame illuminated by the candles which flickered in the halls. “What?”
“No,” she answered simply.
“No?” he asked, his face crumpling in confusion. “No what?”
Lily rolled her eyes and said, “No James, I am not going to do Sirius’ dirty work for him. Rob’s a perfectly nice boy and he likes Cassie; he could even make her happy. If Sirius likes her that much then he should tell her and see what she says and if she chooses him over Rob then fine but I’m not going to be treated like some go between. You ought to know me better than that Potter.” She was stopped as she turned to go by James crying, “Wait!”
Lily turned around slowly and crossed her arms in front of her chest, books tucked underneath them. “Why should I wait Potter?” she asked. “You lot are all as bad as each other; you’re not always the best around you know?”
James gaped at her in even more confusion as he searched his mind for anything to say. “Wait, I don’t know when this conversation turned into that, I mean I thought we had both decided to be civil to each other, but I’m not asking you to ‘do Sirius’ dirty work’ or whatever you think I had in mind. I’m just asking as one friend to another if you could see what’s happening. Look Lily,” he said as he moved towards her, his hands spread out entreatingly, “I was with him on the Hogsmeade weekend and it was horrible! He was so jealous. I can’t deal with that Lil! I need you to help me… please?”
Lily shook her head and rubbed the toe of her shoe along a crack in the stone of the floor. “I’m sorry James but it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just- People don’t exist to be won, if you want someone you have to show them that you’re the one they want and then wait for them to come to you. Personally I think he should just tell her and see what happens but if he decides not to… Well then he has to just accept that this could happen and if it does… he’ll have to live with it. You can’t control anyone, life doesn’t work like that. Anyway,” she sighed, “people change and thoughts, feelings, opinions change. Nobody is ever the same as they were the day before but that’s not necessarily a bad thing; everything which happens to us shapes us as a person and can show us a bit more about ourselves. Sometimes it’s those changes which mean that someone might love you where once they didn’t and this could be the change which does that for her. In any case you should make sure that he doesn’t just mope over her because there’s a fine line between obsession and wanting to be with someone and loving someone despite their faults and only one of those is ever really rewarded with love.”
“So you’re not going to help?” he said.
“I don’t think that there’s anything to help with James,” she shrugged. “If Sirius doesn’t realise that he isn’t the centre of the world and that other people lead different lives then perhaps it’s time he learnt. Like I said, you can’t control people. I suppose that’s part of what makes life… life, even if it means you’re sometimes steered in different directions. Besides, I’m sure you can handle him.”
“I don’t think it will be particularly pleasant,” James muttered as Lily set off up the stairs. He jogged after her and fell into step beside her, wordlessly climbing each one at the same time that she did. They were two floors up before James said, “I’m sorry Lily; I didn’t realise that it’d make you angry.”
“It’s fine James, I’m not angry,” she replied tiredly. “I just think Sirius needs to think about what’s best for Cassie.”
“What about what’s best for him though?” he asked. Lily fixed him with a pointed look and said, “I don’t know James but if he really does like her then I’m sure he would rather have her be happy than anything else.”
However, it didn’t look like Sirius would have to worry too much; after the one trip into Hogsmeade and a couple of hours spent chatting to each other in the castle their relationship seemed to peter out. Rob was not, for some unknown reason, invited to Slughorn’s Christmas party and in the days coming up to it the four girls discussed what to do.
“I’m surprised that you’re actually coming to this Cass,” Lily said as she worked through her Transfiguration essay.
Cassie peered over the top of the book she was reading and said, “Well you know me, I never could resist a party.”
“More like the free food,” Mary sniggered and the book wiggled in the air slightly as she shrugged. “That too,” she agreed. “But really I just thought I ought to turn up to at least one event during my time here; all of you are going anyway so who would I have to hang around with that day?”
“You have other friends,” Lily pointed out dryly.
“Yeah but none of them are as cool as you lot,” Cassie said. Suddenly Lily’s quill flicked ink across her pristine parchment and she glared at Cassie as she undid it with her wand. “Keep your feet to yourself Jones!” she cried as Cassie smiled at her, feigning innocence.
“Well I’m going with Frank,” Alice said as Mary groaned. “Oh we don’t have to take dates do we?” she cried in dismay.
Lily shifted round the table a bit and returned to her essay, eyeing Cassie warily. “Yes I think most people do.”
“We can probably just turn up together though,” Cassie added. “I doubt anyone will care that much.”
“Won’t you be taking Rob though?” Alice asked.
“I’d rather not,” she replied casually. “It would be nice to spend that evening just with you; I like him but I don’t want to be inseparable from him.”
“Fair enough,” Mary said as Lily leafed through her textbook. “Guess I won’t bother finding anyone either then. What about you Lily?”
Lily hummed noncommittally as she skimmed the paragraph she wanted, looking for a sentence she could quote which she was sure she had seen there earlier. Everyone’s eyes – well apart from Cassie who had returned to her book – were on her but it took a minute for her to look up. “What?”
Alice smiled as Mary said, “I asked you whether you were going to be taking anyone to Slughorn’s party. A certain Mr Potter, perhaps? You seem to be getting rather friendly with him of late.”
Lily rolled her eyes at them even as she felt her cheeks heat up. “I highly doubt it,” she said coldly.
“But you’ve been getting on so well lately,” Cassie teased from behind her book, “I saw you walking together a few days ago and I didn’t hear any shouting.”
“Yes you have been surprisingly quiet on the Potter front recently,” Alice agreed.
“Could it be because she no longer has anything to complain about?” Mary whispered as Lily returned to her essay.
“He does seem to be acting rather more maturely at the moment,” Alice replied.
“I haven’t seen him hex anyone in ages,” Cassie added. “Oh actually that’s not true; I saw him curse a Slytherin a couple of weeks ago.”
“Yeah but wasn’t that the one that was dangling the first year upside down?” Alice said and Cassie’s nodding head was just visible behind her book. “So Lily,” she said, turning to the blushing redhead instead, “James Potter?”
“Yes?” a voice said from behind Lily and she shut her eyes. It was bad enough that her friends thought she liked him but for him to witness it – knowing them and seeing the evil glint in their eyes they were going to tell him that she liked him and then she’d never live it down. “You called?” Alice and Mary exchanged mischievous glances and Mary shrugged. “Oh it’s nothing Potter, don’t worry,” she said. “We were just talking about you.”
James looked intrigued and he smiled, ruffling his hair restlessly. “Oh really?” he asked, trying to sound disinterested. “You were?”
“Yeah, Lily,” at the mention of her name Lily tilted her head so that her face was shielded by her hair and tried to focus on her work, “was about to explain to us why you two are suddenly such good friends. Obviously she likes you now and we were just wondering what happened,” Alice explained, shooting an amused look at where Lily was cowering in the corner, tucking herself further and further down between the sofa and table.
“And we were thinking maybe she likes you,” Mary added as James turned to look at the mass of hair which now hid Lily as she gathered her wits about her. “They’re lying Potter,” she said as she shook her hair out, “they just think it’s funny. Really we’re just working and talking about McGonagall’s Transfiguration essay; somehow your name come up, maybe because you actually did it for once.”
James pouted and said, “So you don’t like me Lily? Wow that hurts, I thought that we were going to get married and have twelve children; that’s what you said last time we talked.” Alice and Mary giggled and even a snort from Cassie emerged from behind her book. “Also I completely reject that last accusation; I do all my work! Barely any of it’s late any more too.”
“Go away James,” she said, rolling her eyes as she smiled, “go and annoy your real friends.” James gasped and laid one hand on his chest as he feigned hurt. “Ouch Lily, you wound me.” He strolled back over to where Remus was sitting and working while Peter was counting his Chocolate Frog cards. Sirius, on the other hand, was rolling around on the floor laughing as a cushion – bewitched by Remus – hit him repeatedly over the head.