Hi my dearest CaKers! A very long update for all of you, thank you for being my inspiration, well beside my girlfriend ofcourse. Please do continue to support my story by voting and commenting your thoughts and complains. I really do appreaciate all of you! You guys are the best readers. And I hope, after reading this chap you still stick with me.
For those who are asking for CarBara moments, sorry guys there is none in this chap. But don't worry it will come soon. It's part of the plot. I hope you guys understand. Thank you!
For those who are asking if i'm planning a book 2, I am thorn in between having a series of this book or having a new story. I already have a plot for the new book, if ever I decided to do it. I will release the introduction ahead of time, maybe before I finish this one, so you can tell me if you like it or not. It's not you typical CaKe story, because I wanted to explore a little.
Well, thank you again for reading my very long authors note. Love yall!
P.S Sorry for the wrong spelling and grammars.
-A
Kendall's POV
"Okay, listen up! The score board says CaKe is leading with 20 points." Joe's serious voice gathered everyone's attention and upon hearing what he just said, our dearest friends turn their heads on us and gave us what real friends would do if you kick their asses on doing something.
"Boo!!" They all said, and even gave us a thumbs down and some even stick their tounges out on us. But because both Cara and I are in a good mood, we just shrugged them off, and turn around to give each other a warm congratulating hug.
This is the best part of playing games, hugging your partner after, which in my case, I get the chance to feel the warmth of the person I love.
"Thank you for being my inspiration." She whispered at me, and I can't help myself but to smile upon hearing the words she just told me.
I am her inspiration. That makes the two of us then.
"It's my pleasure love and thank you also for doing your best." I answered back, as I gently pulled away from our hug. But just before I can fully let go of her, I turn around to look if someone is looking at us and when I found them busy doing God knows what, I smiled and place a kiss in Cara's cheeks. It's just a simple peck but I made sure to make her feel how happy I am right now that she's here with me.
I can feel her closing her eyes as if trying to cherish everything right at this moment, and that made me smile even more.
I really need to break up with him. I really do. No words can explain how much I love this girl standing infront of me.
"I will do everything for you." She whispered, and I can't help but to stare at my favorite blue eyes that makes me feel relax and at peace.
And can also make you feel hot at the same time right? My brain butted in, which made me blush hard, as I notice that Cara just started biting her lower lip while looking at me, which I really find.....
Sexy. My brain again had to finished the sentence, as I felt my throat drying up on how hot she really looks.
Come on! What will you do if the one and only Cara Jocelyn Delevingne just started to look at you and bite her lower lips?!
Give me a break love. I'm just human! I might forget about everyone around us and just kiss your lips right here, right now.
"Stop biting your lips, I only have a small amount of self control that's left." I seriously said, but instead of stopping she just gave me an innocent questioning look.
Oh God! And she doesn't even have any idea how sexy she looks right now. And that made her even hotter! If that's even possible.
But because I am in my playful mood right now, instead of answering, I decided to give her a doze of her own medicine. I flashed her a rare smile of mine, I smiled at her sexily, that I even felt goosebums all over my body after doing it.
Hey, I don't usually do this. You can't blame me.
And because she's still biting her lips, looking so innocent like a puppy, I can't help but to tease her more.
"I'm already dying to kiss you. Stop biting your lips, and let me do that for you later." I seductively whispered and even winked at her before turning around and started to walk away, because I felt like just another look of her biting her lips would take away all the self control that I have inside my body and I might just end up crashing our lips together.
----------------------------------------------------
After having snacks and little chit chats with Gigi, Selena and Kylie, I finally decided to search for Cara, since I've been avoiding her after that cute little incident that happened to the two of us earlier. Don't get me wrong, not that I'm embarrased about my actions, well maybe because of that too. But the main reason is, I really just want to cool myself down and take control of my emotions, and seeing her doing those things again won't do us no good.
I turn my head to my left side, and find the boys with Cara having talks about something, and I don't really have any idea about it. But by the looks of it, they look like they are having fun. They are even lauging so hard that Justin had to clench his stomach and Tyga trying his best not to spill out the soda in his mouth, while Joe and Cara tries to childishly slap each other.
I'm glad she's happy. I can't help but to smile widely, while looking at this version of her. This is the first time in a long time, that I've seen her this genuinely happy. It's as if she didn't have problems for the last few months, its as if she didn't had to cry her eyes out every night before falling asleep because of the decision we both made, its as if everything is okay and she's not broken inside because of me and my stupid fears. Because truth to be told, even though I already told her that I love her too, I know that deep inside, it is not enough. It will never be enough not until I break up with Harry. I know that she's okay with what we have right now, and she's not really expecting anything in return, but I can't hurt her like this forever. The hurt she's feeling would never stop until we can finally be together, out and happy. Shouting to the whole world, how much we love each other, and I don't really know how long it would take for me to be ready. And yet, she choose to stay with me, she choose to wait for me, she choose to smile and be happy for me not to be guilty.
She choose to love me unconditionally. She really is the most wonderful person in the whole universe.
She is beautiful inside and out. No wonder why everyone loves her, why everyone wants to be around her. She seemed like she always lightens the mood and always made people around her happy even if deep inside, she has her own problems.
"Stop staring, she might melt and you'll never get to see her again." Someone spoke which brought me back from my deep thoughts. I turn around and found my sister smiling at me knowingly.
I know that she already knows something, but she just wanted for me to be the one to open up to her when I'm ready. I mean come on, from that wierd smiles to wiggling of eyebrows everytime she catches me and Cara smiling at each other, I can definitely tell that she already have enough proof to slap right in my face the moment I decided to talk to her and deny it.
"I'm not--" I was about to answer back but then she already cutted me off.
"Stop lying. Just don't say anything if its all lies." She said, and I can hear seriousness on her voice.
See? I told you she already knows something. And I was right! She already had gathered enough data to make me shut my mouth if I wasn't going to tell the truth.
"I know it all Ken, and I hope that you still remember that I am your sister, you can talk to me about everything. I might not be the most expert about those things, but I will try my best to help you. And you know that I'm here to support you no matter what. Right?" She slowly and gently said, as she gave me a sad smile.
I know Ky, and I love you so much for that.
As the words that I wanted to say got stuck in my mouth, I just nodded my head, as a smile form in my lips. I then lean in to her for a hug, as I whispered, "Let's take a walk after dinner." I said and hug her tighter as I tried to wipe a tear that had manage to escape my eyes.
I can feel her reciprocating my hug, as she slowly nodded her head in response."Okay Ken, let's." She responded.
"It's really your thing to make me cry, huh?!" I pretended to whined, but the truth is I am so happy that Kylie still loves me for who I am. Even if we didn't really talked about it, this conversation seemed already answered all of her questions.
"Oh you just realize it now?" She teased and I can't help but to playfully slap her shoulder.
"We should really stop before we start gathering their attentions." She continued and slowly pulled away from our hug.
"Thank you Ky. You just don't know how much this means to me." I hug her one more time just for a few seconds and she gladly accept it.
We both pulled away again and she started fixing her hair and even tried to wipe the tears below her eyes, as if her make up was already smudge and I can't help but to shook my head on her. "My makeup! You've ruined it!"
"You're still gorgeous! Stop being a bitch." And then there you go, we're back on pissing each other just like always.
"Yeah? I'm still pretty, prettier than you." She teased and even stick her tounge out.
Still childish as ever.
I just rolled my eyes at her, before turning around and started walking towards Cara. "Keep on dreaming Ky! It's free!"
"Asshole! Be thankful I love you!" I heard her scream and I can't help but to tease her more.
"Oh thank you! I love myself too!"
"Bitch!"
"Love you too Kylie!"
----------------------------------------------------
"It seems like you had fun pissing off your sister." Cara smiled at me and even shook her head as if finding my actions amuzing.
I just smirked back. "Oh yeah, never gets old." I answered and I just saw her giggled a little.
"Just like my love for you." I heard her whispered, but then I pretended that I did not clearly heard it, and ask for her to repeat it again, as I find her so cute everytime she mumble something out of her thoughts, without even realizing that she had said it outloud.bthat's one thing we have in common. "What did you say?" I asked.
But instead of repeating, I saw her flushing hard as she shook her head. "Nothing." She answered and I just smiled at her knowingly.
"Just like my love for you too." I chuckled, before grabbing her hands and entwined it with them, as I lead the way to where our friends gathered in a circle, discussing the next game.
----------------------------------------------------
"Ok guys! Huddle up! This is going to be the last game, since it's already getting dark or if Justin got lucky, and won the game, there is gonna be a tie breaker!" Joe explained.
We all just smiled at him and nodded our head, as he look at his girlfriend and let her explain the final challenge enthusiastically. "So, the next and final game is called, race to the finish. The first person to swim until the end of the safe zone, will win and have 20 points added to their score. " she said and finishes with a smile.
I immidiately look at Cara and I can see her looking at the sea with worry and fear in her eyes.
Maybe she remembered the last time she tried to swim that long, she had cramps and almost drown herself to death.
"I'll do this." I said, even though I'm also nervous as hell, as I am not that good at swimming. But then, its better for me to try, rather than to see her get hurt again.
No way I'm going to let that happen again.
She instantly shift her gaze at me, and gave me questioning look.
"Yes, Cara. You heard it right. I will do this. I can." I repeated, and gave her a reassuring smile.
But being the protective and gentle Cara that she is, I already expected this kind of reaction from her. She gently grabbed my hand and lead me somewhere far from our friends, where we can discuss this without them giving seeing us.
"No way! I'm not going to let you. I'll do this Ken. I can do this. Trust me." She said firmly, as if telling me that there is no point of discussing this at all. But being the stubborn Ken that I am, and because I also don't want anything bad to happen to her, I tried to argue back.
"Then there is no way too, that I'm letting you do it. Have you lost your mind?! You almost killed yourself the last time you tried to swim that kind of distance Cara." I said, and even emphasized the last sentence.
I can see her features soften, as her cheeks blushed a little.
She is the cutest, but I won't let her get away with this.
"So yeah, there is no way too." I repeated, and she just look at me with pleading eyes.
Oh come on! Not those puppy like eyes!
"I know that your concern for me Kendall, but I can't and never will let you go and swim that distance too, trust me love, your great at everything. Hell! You're the best in everything that you do, but let's be honest here, swimming isn't really your thing. I'd rather drown than see you suffer." She responded and I swear my heart was melting on every words that she says, and it's true though, swimming is not really a friend of mine. But then upon hearing the last part, I immediately slap her hand.
"Don't say that! It worries me more!" I complained, and I can't help but to hug her right away.
"Let's just quit then. Let's just stay here and let them play. I'd rather lost the game, than seeing you in that kind of situation. Besides, Justin can win this and we'll have a tie breaker. " I whispered, as I remembered that day when everything seems to blurries, because of the tears continously flowing from my eyes, while listening to Poppy, explaining everything that had happened. That Cara accidentaly drown and almost died. That Cara is still in the hospital lying on a bed. And I can still remember, that right after that phone call, I immidiately took the first flight to Hawaii not finishing the photoshoot that I am into.
I heard her chuckle, and because of my curioisity on why she's reacting like that, I pulled away from her and my eyebrows even more furrowed when she just keeps on giggling, not even minding me.
"What?!" I asked, almost in an irritated kind of tone, but she just look at me and giggled again.
I pinch her in the side of her stomach to stop her from giggling, and I successfully did, as she winced in pain.
"Ouch! That hurts!" She said and fold her shirt to look and rub the spot that I pinched. And I felt a small pang of guilt upon seeing how red her skin got.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry love!" I panicly said, as I immediately lean down to look at it, and even blow on it thinking that it would lessen the pain that I cause. And just when I heard her giggle again, that is when I realize how awkward our position is.
Stupid Ken! Wrong move!
I composed myself up, and tried to hide the red color that is currenltly painted on my cheeks, as I right away stood up, and tried to divert my gaze everywhere else just to not look at Cara's smirking face.
I know that she is, I can feel it.
But then she just continued to chuckle and started to tease me, which made me even more uncomfortable than I already am.
"Why are you blushing?" She asked while giving me a smirk.
I immediately turn my gaze away from her and tried to deny it, but to my dismay, I just stuttered, which made my nervousness more obvious. "I-I'm not! Uh- I am not blushing." I denied, and I swear that the smirk she has on her face, grew wider upon hearing how stupid I sounded.
"Yes you are Kendall. Is it too hot to handle?" She replied, and I can hear the playfulness in her voice and can also totally see it in her face. She's smiling widely while her eyebrows wiggling.
Ugh! How can she be annoying and sexy at the same time?!
"Why, thank you. Just purely blessed that's all." She confidently spoke, which caught me off guard because just then I realized that I have said it outloud. And because I am so ashame of myself right now, all that I manage to do is to cover my face with my palm.
"Oh God!" I frustratedly exclaimed, as my cheeks still burning from all that had happen.
I heard her laugh for a little while, maybe enjoying all of this and that made me give her a daggering look.
"Stop! It's not funny!" I irritatedly exclaim, as I rest my arms against my chest and gave her a pissed off look.
Well that went well.
She stopped from giggling, and went back on looking at me, but she still have that smirk on her face.
"It is not funny, cause it's sweet." She said, as she gently grab me in my waist and slowly pull me closer to her. "You're the cutest love. " She smiled at me, now with that genuine loving smile of hers. And as if on cue, my arms automatically wrap themselves around her neck.
Oh this feeling again.
I can feel the butterflies in my stomach fight with each other again, the moment her skin touches mine. I can feel my knees getting weak upon staring at her ocean like eyes. I can feel my heart beating its way out in my chest, upon feeling her breath getting closer to my lips.
I'm badly want to kiss her. She's like a drug. She's so addictive.
I slowly closed my eyes, getting myself ready, patiently waiting for that sweet and soft lips of hers, to capture mine. Even if deep inside, I was already eager to lean in and just be the one to close the gap between us. I just can't get enough of her. I can't wait to show her how much I love her, and this is one way of doing it. To not let this little moments pass by without letting her know how much she really means to me. But sad to say, that this isn't one of the moments that I thought it is, as her lips never came to rest in mine.
"As much as I am also dying to kiss you right now, I bet they are already looking for us." I heard her whisper, which made me open my eyes.
I can see her looking at me sweetly, as she slowly caress my cheeks, and right at that moment, I knew that put myself to shame again.
Ugh! Did I just assume that we will kiss?! God, I hate myself!
"Hey, don't be mad. I hope this one will do it for now." She spoke, as if sensing that I am already at the verge of kicking myself in the head.
What does she mean? I silently asked myself, as I find that wierd for her to say. But then this woman standing right here infront of me, never failed to amaze me, as the next thing she did made my breath almost hitch and made me wonder,
How come I didn't realize how much I love her before? I'm so dumb.
She kissed my lips gently. It was just a simple peck, but I swear that my heart jumped in happiness, upon feeling how much she cares and loves me from the way her lips brush off against mine. Even though it wasn't the kiss that I am expecting and I didn't even had the chance to close my eyes to just get lost in that moment, it was still perfect and worth remembering.
It was the first time she stole a kiss from me.
"I'll just give you the rest later. Now come on, before they start putting up the puzzle together and we'll get doomed." She simply said, as she smile at me and grab my hand to walk to where our friends are, without even letting me say a single word.
Oh I can't wait to get that kiss back love. I won't let this all go.
---------------------------------------------------
"Where have you been? We've been looking for the two of you. The game should start now, before the sun settles down." Selena's worried voice was the first one to greet us. I can see our friends looking at us the same way, except for two persons. Kylie and Joe. They have that knowing smile on their faces. Well, with Kylie I totally get it, I know that she already knew everything, but the thing that bothers me is that, does Joe knows as well? It's pretty obvious actually, with that look on his face while looking at Cara. He definitely knew something.
I need to ask Cara about it later.
"We just need to strategize a bit, without you people hearing it." Cara's answer save me from my deep thoughts.
"Hey I thought.." I slowly tugged the hem of her shirt to get her attention back at me and remind her about the talk we had earlier.
"And we came up to the idea that, we won't play the last round to give you guys a chance to win the game. Since all of you seems so competitive and all." She continued and even said the last part in a joking manner. As for myself, I immediately release a huge amount of relief, that she considered my suggestion earlier and that we both don't have to argue about it again.
Atleast we are both safe and sound. That's more important than winning.
"Oh, okay. But you could've easily said that you're chickening out." Justin remarked, and we just rolled our eyes on him.
"We both just want each other safe, you know what happened to Cara last time and I'm not that good at swimming too." I explained, which made all of them nodd their heads in understanding.
The game went on without the two of us playing, Cara and I just stayed at the shore looking out for our friends and also, being the judge on who's gonna reach the end first.
I slowly drape my right arm around her waist, and look at her. Her eyes are being illuminated by the ocean and the sunset, and I swear, it was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen.
"You're staring." She mumbled and smirked, as she also wrap her arm around my shoulder still not facing me.
"I'm not, just appreciating." I replied as I remember the day she reasoned that out on me when I caught her staring at me. I can see her smile getting wider, as a red color began to invade her cheeks.
When will I get use to her cuteness?
She then turn her gaze to meet mine, as she tried to control her smile. "You're learning." She chuckled.
"Learned it from the best." I winked at her and she just shook her head as a response.
----------------------------------------------------
"Damn dude, thank you!" Cara keeps on teasing Justin, as the latter just keeps on rolling his eyes.
Well, you can't blame him though. He's a bit pissed at himself. After winning the last game, we were both tied with 20 points each, and because of that, we all decided to have another tie breaker game between our team and theirs. And because all of us are damn tired, Justin suggested to just play rock-paper-scissors and guess what? Who could've thought that we can still win this game?
"Psssh. Whatever." Justin huffed still annoyed at himself. "So, what's the favor you want from me?" He asked, as he calm down a bit, upon feeling Selena hugging him from his side.
Cara and I both looked at each other, as we still don't have any idea of the things we want from them. Hey, its because we are the underdog here you know, and both of us just can't believe that we still have the chance of winning after not playing the last one.
"We still have to think about it, but dude, really, thank you." I said again, which made Justin narrow his eyes on me, while our friends burst out laughing.
"Not funny Kenny." He said again but I just stick my tounge out at him.
"Enough of that kids. Dinner is ready." Joe spoke from behind, as he placed the steaks on the table.
----------------------------------------------------
After eating dinner like a caveman, teasing each other like there is no tomorrow and having talks which means catching up, mostly with Cara, since we haven't saw her for a whole month, we all decided to just end the day because everyone is surely a hundred percent exhausted.
"Well, this day is one of the best days ever." Cara remarked, which made all of us agree with her.
"Even though I fucking lost to a childish game that I suggested, still it was fun. You guys are the best." Justin chimed in, and we all just gave him a smile.
"This is the kind of vacations, we all going to tell our childrens in the future." Tyga joined in, and even turn her gaze at Kylie which made the latter blush.
"Oh my God, please don't make me so emotional." My litlle said dramatically, pretending to be in the verge of crying, but we all just laugh at her.
"But seriously, you guys are the most amazing people in this world. Thank you Justin, for making this happen and congratulations too, for the first time, you had a great idea." I said and even joked in the last part which made JB roll his eyes at me.
"To the most wonderful people in my life." I said, as I raised the glass of wine I'm holding and offered them a toast, which they happily obliged. I turn my gaze to the girl sitting in my right, and gave her a thank you smile.
"For you, my love" I whispered, and I saw her biting her cheeks to prevent herself from smiling, but the redness of it sell her out.
"For you." She replied and gave me the same smile that I'm giving her.
----------------------------------------------------
"Well, have a good sleep everyone! Tomorrow is our last day, so we can all go in our separate ways, to go to the places we want to visit. But please be back after 5, since it's going to be our last dinner here." Selena said, and we all just nodded our head as we greet each others good night.
"Well, you go ahead love. I still need to go for a walk with Kylie." I said, as Cara already take a hold of my hand, ready to lead our way inside the villa.
"Oh, okay. I'll just walk around then, and I'll wait for you at the door, so we can go to our room together." She replied, and even smiled at me.
"It's okay Cara. You can go ahead, I know your tired and everything. You don't have to wait for me, besides I don't know how long it will take." I suggested, as I really don't want her to stay up late just because of me. I know that she is so exhausted, after playing the games and heck, she even climb a tree. So I trully wanted her to take a rest and sleep already.
"No, it's okay. I still don't want to sleep. I'll wait for you okay?" She insisted again.
"Cara, I know how dead tired you are. I can see it in your eyes. So please, just go ahead and rest. I don't want you to get sick or something." I argued back but this one just won't back down easily.
"Fine. To be honest, I'm tired. But I can't sleep without you there beside me, so that would be useless. I want to know your safe first." She simply said, as if what she said was just normal and it wouldn't make the butterflies in my stomach appear or it wouldn't make my heart jump in happiness. And what made me so giddy and happy? Is that I can really see in her eyes how concern she is for me.
Oh love, how can you be that sweet? Have you eaten all the sugars in this world?
"Fine. But atleast wait for me in the living room. I don't want you getting colds or something." I surrendered, and she just smiled widely and nodded her head in agreement, like a child being granted by his/her parents to go out with his/her friends for the first time.
----------------------------------------------------
"I don't know where to start." I admitted, as Kylie and I stopped from walking. It's already been ten minutes of quietness that's invading us. But not the awkward kind of silence but rather the peaceful one, it's as if my sister is letting me get ready and gather the words that I wanted to say.
"Well, we both know that you love her, so why don't you start with that." She said, which made my jaw drop and my eyes almost buldge out from its pocket in disbelief. Yeah, I know that she's already sensing something about me and Cara, but I did not expect it to be like this.
Am I that obvious?
"Well, actually you are Ken." She answered and that's when I realized that I have said my thoughts outloud.
There is going back now Ken, just tell her everything. Atleast let one of your family member knows that you're in deep trouble. My brain butted in which didn't help even just for a bit to calm my nerves down.
Why is it so hard to admit? When first of all, Kylie already knows. This is just like confirming if it is true or not. Why does the words I wanted to say just keeps on hanging on my throat? When I already had practice all of this before engaging in this conversation? Why do I need to be afraid? When it is my sister that I'm talking to and I know that she will love me no matter what. Why?
Because you're a stupid coward. And there is the answer. Thank you brain, for admitting that yourself.
"Ken, you know that you can tell me anything right?" Kylie's voice disrupted me from my thoughts.
I turn around to face her, and the first thing that I saw made my heart ache, I saw sadness and disappointment in my sister's eyes.
This is what I'm afraid of, my family getting disappointed in me.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being like this Ky. I didn't choose this. Please don't be disappointed in me." I said, as tears began to flow in my face. I can't help but to turn my gaze down, as I began to explain everything. "I-I just..I love her Kylie. Damn, I-I'm inlove with her. God! I do lo-love her so much..I-I know that this is no-not what you are expecting, bu-but I can't te-teach my heart who to love." I manage to say in between sobs, and covered my face to wipe my tears.
"Hey, hey, calm down. I'm not and never will be disappointed in you Ken." I felt my sister's hands hugging me and even began to rub my back to calm me down.
"I-i'm such a mess. I'm i-inlove with Cara but I-i'm in a re-relationship with a guy that I-I do-don't even love." I continued to sob, as I felt like all the pain inside my chest resurfaced again.
I guess hiding your feelings for someone cause so much pain too.
"I-I don't know w-what to do Ky..wh-what would th-they say? D-dad ju-just came out..we ca-can't afford to-to have another issue a-about this.." I said, and I even felt pathetic for myself right now. Infront of Cara I'm that strong woman but deep inside, I am just as afraid as a child who got lost in New York.
"Hey, calm down Ken. Just breath for a little." She said, and even hug me tighter which made me calm even just for a little.
"I just can't lose her. I can't..I love her so much.." I admitted as I close my eyes and tears began to ran down my face faster than before, as the thought of Cara leaving me pained me even more. "I just can't.."
"You won't lose her Ken. Trust me. she loves you just as much." Kylie's words strike me right in my heart.
Why am I doubting her? She promised me that she'll wait and will never let me go. I should just trust her, just like the way she trust me. Because even though she all have the reasons to leave me and be with someone else, she's still there holding on tight. Trusting me with every inch of her.
"I'm so stupid." I mumbled, as I hated myself more upon realizing how stupid I am.
"For doubting her? Yes. But for loving her? No. Loving her is yet the best decision you have ever made and fighting for her will be better than your best." Kylie said, which made me look at her in awe.
Oh how I love my little sister so much.
"So let me clear this to you, I am not and never will be disappointed in you Ken. Admitting your feelings for her is the bravest thing you have ever done. And that makes me even prouder that you are my sister." She said again, and smiled at me. "And I know that the family will feel the same way too. So please stop torturing yourself, and do the right thing as soon as we get home." She continued, and right at that moment, I can feel my tears rolling down, not because I'm sad and afraid, but it's because I'm happy and for the first time I wanna be brave.
"Thank you! Thank you Kylo! You are the best!" I hugged her tight as I felt a huge amount of relief in my chest.
Finally! I have someone to talk to.
"So all you have to do is break up with him and tell the fam. I'm sure that they will understand Ken. And if you're not yet ready to out yourself in public, then tell that to Cara. I know that she will understand, you just have to be honest with her." And a round of applause for my sister everybody.
When did she got so expert with this kind of topic?
"Okay, Ken? And like what I always tell you, if you want to talk about anything, my door is always open. You don't even have to knock." She finish and smiled at me. I just nodded my head and hug her tighter, as I continously whiper the words 'thank you'.
----------------------------------------------------
Cara's POV
I guess the deal went well. Atleast she could've texted me. I thought to myself, as I tried to recognize if there is someone inside the house. And to my disappointment, no one is there and all the lights where off.
Don't get me wrong, I just feel like Barbara and I had a bond. That even if I just met her for a single day, we talked and laughed like two old friends having the time to catch up with each other again. I just feel like, there is something inside me that was already attached to her. But not in a romantic way, okay? I love my Kendall and nothing can ever change that. It's just that, Barabara, she's special. She's special in a way that I can easilly open up to her and it felt like I have known her my entire life.
"Looking for something? Or should I say someone?" A voice interrupted me from looking out at the other villa beside ours and upon hearing it, I immediately recognize the owner of it.
"Nope. Not at all." I answered back at Joe, and gave him a smile.
He arched his brows at me, as if not believing my lies.
Well, I'm bad at it.
"Then why are you here outside, looking like a giraffe, jumping like a crazy person while trying your best to have a better view if someone is in there." He asked casually, and even pointed at the other villa.
I just sighed in defeat, as I know that I was already caught in the act and there is no way out. Besides, I'm not doing anything wrong right? I'm just looking for a friend that's all.
"Fine. It's just that Barbara haven't texted me if the deal went well, or if she's back. You know, I just want to.." I was explaining my side, but the accusing smirk on Joe's face made me stop.
"Hey! It's not what you think okay?! I don't like her that way! Not that she isn't likable because she really is beautiful and amazing, but my heart is already taken. And I love the person who took my heart so damn much, with all of me." I defended myself, and instead of removing the smirk on his face, it grew even wider than before. Not because of accusation but because of amuzement.
"Wow! You really are defensive! I didn't even said a thing about you liking her." He shook his head and chuckled a bit. "I know that Cara, and I know that you don't like her like that. I'm just teasing, but right now I'm having second thoughts." He teased again, but I just rolled my eyes at him.
"I'm just explaining, because Kendall might hear you and I swear to God she's going to kill me." I explained again, and even look to our sorroundings if there is a sign of the girl that I love.
Thank God there is none.
"So, you and Kenny, huh?" He nudge my shoulder which made me immidiately cover my mouth with my hand.
Oh shit. Did I just had a slip of tounge?
Not that I'm not planning on telling Joe, because come on, he already knows everything. It's just that I haven't told Kendall that Joe knows it already and I don't want her to freak out about it. Although, I trust Joe because he's already a family and I know that Ken trust him the same way as I do, but I also know that Ken isn't ready for this. For someone knowing about us. But then again, I am just so lucky that I had to admit it myself again without Joe asking.
"Uhm.." I started, but the words in my mouth just won't come out. I paused for a while and turn around to face him. He looks so disappointed in me.
I knew it. He knows already. I'm sorry that I can't keep my own words.
"I know C. I can see that she makes you happy and you make her the happiest too. I know that you have been waiting for this moment, and you know that I supported you from the very start. But not like this C, this isn't a good way to start." He said, and I can hear the concern he had for me, for us.
"I know Joe. Believe me, I know. And I hate myself for being selfish. For being like this. I hate myself for not even feeling a single drop of guilt everytime we hold each other. But what can I do Joe? I love her so much that I am willing to give up everything just to be with her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being this. But I wanted to be honest with you, I am not going to stop. Atleast not right now." I can't contain myself anymore, as I let a tear escape my eyes. I just hate myself right now.
Oh God! I hate being insensitive.
"You are the most selfless person that I have ever known and this is the only time you wanted to do something for yourself too, but Harry is a good guy Cara. No one deserves to be in that kind of situation. You don't, Kendall don't and Harry doesn't deserve it too. I am your friend and I will always be here for you, that is why I wanted you to do the right thing first." He continued and I felt like I have already been stabbed multiple times right in the middle of my heart, but what makes me despise myself more right now?
Is that even though everything that Joe has stated is true, it still didn't change my mind.
I released a laugh, a pathetic one. A laugh that says 'I fucking hate myself', and I can see Joe's concern eyes looking at me with symphaty, but I don't deserve that.
I am the least person to deserve that.
I turn my gaze infront, not wanting to look in his eyes, as I take a deep breath and speak, "I'm sorry. But not right now Joe. I atleast want us to enjoy this vacation and make our mermories last. But I know, that the time will come and we have to fix everything, and we will Joe. I just want her to be ready for that. I don't want her to rush into things. I want her to be sure."
"I understand, I will always be here for the both of you. Don't hesitate to talk to me if you need to, but that doesn't mean that I'm a fan of what you're doing. I'm doing this because you are not only a friend Cara, you and Kendall are my sisters." He answered, as he patted me in my shoulder and gave me a smile.
"Thank you Joe. Thank you for everything."
"No problem. Have a good night babe." He said, as he turn around and went inside the house.
This day is like a roller coaster ride. Made me feel different kinds of emotions.
----------------------------------------------------
Just right after her left, Joe's words have been hunting me. It was like my favorite song, it keeps playing and playing inside my head. But the only difference is, this one doesn't make me happy but it made me sad. It made my stomach whirl around, not because of the butterflies inside me, but because of the words being so true that it made me feel like throwing up. His words strike me and it hit the right spot, right where my consience is.
"Is it just me, or you really are giving me a silent treatment?" Kendall's voice saved me from my deep thoughts. We were now both entering our bedroom, and both of us didn't even said a single word right after greeting each other in the living room. Silence fell upon us, the whole time were walking towards our bedroom and it surely is awkward and tense.
I hate myself for making her feel uncomfortable. I better get my shit together or else I will lose this battle. It is only the first day, and there are more bigger things and problems that are coming to us. I better get myself ready, because I don't want to lose her. I can't afford to, not now that I know that she feels the same way for me. All I have to do is to wait for her to be ready and hold onto her promise.
That's it and everything is gonna be okay.
"I'm not love. I'm just tired." I lied, and I can see her narrowing her eyes on me, as if trying to see if I'm telling the truth or not. And who wm I kidding? She already knows me so damn much, she instantly knew that I'm lying.
"What is it? You know that you can tell me anything right?" She asked, as she lead me to sit on the edge of our bed.
She then take a hold of my hand and intertwined it with hers, maybe trying to comfort me and she successfully did, as I felt my nerves calming down.
I released a deep breath that I didn't even know I'm holding, as I turn my head and meet her beautiful brown eyes. And at that moment, all I can see was concern.
"I'm sorry..it's just that.." I started but trailed off, as I really don't have any idea on how to tell her what Joe has told me.
"Hey, just breath in and relax. It's just me love. You don't have to worry." She said and began to rub my back to calm me more.
"Joe and I had a talk, Ken. Joe knew it all along, I told him everything, even before I confessed my feelings for you." I admitted and closed my eyes as I expect her to shout at me and freak out about this, but nothing came. I slowly open my eyeas and look at her, but she's just looking at me with a smile on her face.
"So that explains the looks he's been giving us." She said, and even shook her head in disbelief. She then face me again and ask me to continue.
"And he's not happy about this, on what were doing." I continued and waited for her reaction, but just like earlier, none. She just ask me to explain further and that is what I did. I told her the truth. I told her everything.
"He told me to do what is right, that nobody deserve our situation but it still doesn't justify our actions. He told me that he is happy for me, that finally I found my happiness but he is not a fan of what were doing. He wanted us to start right."
I can now see tears falling from her eyes, and I immediately felt a huge blow in my heart.
This is what I hate the most, seeing her cry.
"I'm sorry! Oh my God! I-I'm so-sorry.." She sob so hard, that I felt my body getting weaker and weaker in every tears that rolls down her skin.
"No love, don't be. Stop crying...please.." I engulfed her in a tight embrace, as if this is a matter of life and death. I held onto her, thinking that any minute now, she might change her mind and decided to just stop everything. To just let me go.
No way! I won't let that happen.
"Love..please..none of this is your fault. It's all my fault! Please don't blame yourself.." I pleaded, as I place my hands on her cheeks and wipe all of the liquids away, but it just keeps on falling. It won't stop and thats what made me more afraid.
"I'm sorry.." That's all that I can hear from her, repeating it from time to time, while still crying her hearts out.
Why is she saying sorry? Is this it?!
"It's only been a day. We'll get through this. Please don't let me go. I can't." This time, I didn't hold back my tears anymore. I let them flow freely, as I let my lips kiss every part of her face that I can reach, letting her feel how much I trully love her with every piece me. I made sure to make every kiss longer and not to miss a part of her skin, afraid that one single mistake from me and everything about us will change.
"I can't lose you! Not now, not ever. Please..please don't let me go. I'm willing to wait Ken. If it would take years for you to get ready, so be it. Just don't let me go. Just don't push me away." I pleaded again and now I was the one crying.
"Please don't let me go." I repeated, and that's when I felt her hugging me back.
"I won't. I will never let you go. I'm sorry for being weak, but I will fix this love. It might take time, but I will. I promise and I'm sorry for causing you so much pain, I'm sorry. I really am." She said, as she gently place her palms against my cheeks and wipe my tears away.
I look at her, and all I can see is sincerity in her eyes. "I love you.." I whispered, as I close my eyes and waited for her answer. I wanted to remember everything from this moment. How my heart beats with hers, how quiet and peaceful our sorrounding is and what her voice sounds like as she say those three words back at me. I wanted it to be engrave inside me forever. I wanted not just my heart but also my soul to remember it. So when struggles and problems test the two of us, and my heart is broken at that time, my soul can always lead me back to this moment and continue to fight for us.
Fight for love.
"I love you more than you'll ever know." And right after hearing her answer, I knew that in the end, all of this is worth it.
I slowly take her hands from my cheeks and placed small kisses on the back of her palm. I can feel her looking at me, and that made me turn my gaze to meet hers. Her brown eyes is still red and watery, you can definitely tell that it's fresh from crying. I tuck the loose strand of her hair behind her ears, and take that chance to memorize the beauty infront of me. I let my thumb caress her cheeks, and tried to wipe all the trace that's left from crying. I can see her smiling upon my action, as her cheeks began to turn red.
"Can I kiss you?" I asked, I don't know why I did, but I felt like I just need to.
I can see her biting her lips and fighting herself to smile, as she nodded her head at me. "You can." She whispered back, and her voice send chills down my spine. I can feel my heart knocking inside my ribs and my stomach just began to turn upside down making all the butterflies appear.
This isn't the first time that we will kiss, but everytime that we do, it really feels like it is the first.
I locked my eyes with hers for a brief moment and I can see her brown orbs sparkling with happiness. I took a deep breath, to relax my heart for a little, before I gently cupped her cheeks and lean in for my most awaited kiss.
It was just a simple peck on the lips at first, letting our lips just rest against each other. We both close our eyes, trying to savor this moment that we will surely remember for a very long time. I can feel myself already getting crazy inside, but I tried my best to keep my composure. I knew that I wanted more and I hope that she feels the same way too. Taking the risk, I slowly move my lips in a sweet and tender way, giving her a chance to stop if she doesn't want me to continue. But luckily for me, she did not. Instead, she move her soft and thin lips in sync with mine.
It was a slow and passionate kiss, making us feel the love and care we have for each other, that no words can ever explain. Our lips are dancing with the beat of our hearts. But just like music, it also have different rythms, as our kiss began to be more aggressive. The slow dance were having earlier begin to change into a show down. We were both kissing each other hungrily, like a child eager to taste his/her very first ice cream.
I let my hand travel from her face tracing down to her shoulder, caressing them and I can feel her hand taking a grip of my hair, as she deepens our kiss.
"Oh Cara.." I heard her moan, as I bit her lip asking for an entrance, which she gladly gave me.
She slighltly open her mouth and I took the chance to put my tounge inside and play it with hers.
"Love.." She manage to moan again, as I suck her tounge out gently but still the kind of sucking that can make her knees weak.
I slowly pulled away from our kiss which made me immediately recieve a death glare from her. But I also didn't miss the fact that she's looking at me with so much desire in her eyes.
"Hey, relax. We also need to breath." I joked trying to turn the mood lighter, although deep inside I was already feeling so hot and I feel like I will burn any minute now.
But instead of answering, she just rolled her eyes at me, as she grabbed me by the neck and crashed our lips once again.
Woah! Feisty!
I gently lay her down in our bed, making sure that she's comfortable with our position with me on top of her. When I recieve no objections at all, I let my hands now continue to travel down in her stomach, slowly rubbing it while our tounge are still fighting each other wildly.
"Hmmm.." She release another soft cry, as I began to suck her tounge again.
I can feel her having goosebumps all over her skin when I began to explore inside her shirt. I trace my fingers from her stomach up in between her valleys still covered with her last piece of clothing.
"Oh God!" She moaned loudly, as I cupped her left breast and gently played with it. But then I immediately stop myself from doing it, afraid that she might doesn't like the idea.
I pulled away from our kiss once again as I look at her, with my apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry love, we could.." I was about to ask her if she wanted to stop but she just interrupted me, by putting her index finger against my lips as she silence me and took the chance to take her own shirt off.
"It's okay..We should continue." She whispered at me seductively and it surely put another wood to add fire in my now burning body.
I slowly kissed her once again, but before she can even respond to it, I trailed my kisses from her lips to her jaw line, slowly licking every inch of her skin, until I reach her ears. I lick her there and I nibbled it too, making her gasped for air. "Cara.."
"Are you sure about this?" I asked and I can hear her moan her response, maybe getting tickled by my breath against her skin.
"Yeah.." But then, her answer seems unsure.
Atleast do the right thing. And Joe's voice had began to hunt me again, which made me pull away a little from her. As my conscience began to run through my body again.
"I think we should wait.." Kendall's nervous voice save me from my thoughts. "But please believe me when I say, I wanted this so bad just as much as you do love. But I think we should wait. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for giving you-" She was now rumbling words, sounding disappointed and frustrated with herself and I can see that she's in the verge of crying again. That is why I cut her off with a simple peck on the lips.
"I totally understand, and don't worry, this can wait." I smiled at her, and wipe the tears that had manage to fall from her eyes. I really do understand, as I know that it is atleast the only right thing that we can do.
Wait for the right time.
She was looking at me still with sad eyes, as she asked, "What did I do to deserve someone like you?"
I just smiled at her and lean in to kiss her forhead. "That's the same question that's running in my mind right now, what did I do to deserve someone as perfect as you?" I asked back and she just giggled a little while pinching my cheeks. "Oh please Cara. I'm the farthest thing from perfect."
"That's not true Ken, because you are the definition of perfect." I countered back making her blush even more.
She wrap her arms agaist my neck, as she kiss me on my lips. "You're the sweetest love." She said with so much love in her eyes.
I just wink at her and give her a genuine smile. "Only for you Ken. Only for you. Now let's get your shirt back to its proper place and we both need a good rest. Last day tomorrow, remember? I can't wait for us to spend it together." I excitedly said, as I help her put her shirt back on.
"I can't wait too. Good night love." She said, as she lean in and kiss me in my lips.
"Good night princess, see you in my dreams." I kiss her forhead one last time, as we both lay down on our bed.
I felt her nuzzling her head against the crook of my neck, as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I then, also drape my arms aroud her shoulder and tuck her in for the night just like always.
"I love you."
"I love you too Delevingne."
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Hiya! Longest chapter! Phew! It's my first story so I want to apologize if I didn't reach your expectations in writing a romantic scene. Oh God, I almost killed myself writing this chap. I hope you still enjoyed it tho. And I know that you guys hate me for making Cara selfish, but hey people that is inlove tend to forget everything around them as love conquers their everything. Jk! It's a part of the plot! Thank you again for reading and please don't forget to vote and comment! Love yall!