I was more than confused, I realised I was frustrated at both myself and him. He was right, I should have accepted the rejection when he first rejected me. There were countless opportunities. He was determined to make it work now and that scared me.
"Are you okay? " I heard a soft voice question, I glanced up to see Caleb looking at me.
"I-I'm," I cleared my throat, "I'm fine." I reassured giving him a small smile.
"Oh, shit." He cursed, making me look at him questioningly.
"It's girl 101 that when a she says 'I'm fine'," He mimicked the voice of a girl. "She is so not fine." He said in a voice of a student reporting to a teacher making me smile involuntarily.
"No, I actually mean it. I'm alright." Lie. I was definitely anything but alright. What he said made me feel hopeful. I hated it. Every bit of it. Why was it that under all this nonchalant behaviour I still cared for him?
"I'm going to bunk rest of the day. I'll see you tomorrow." I said walking away from the spot I had stood frozen in a couple of minutes ago.
"Hey, I'll come with you." He offered politely, following me.
"No, no, there is no need for that. I'll take this one on my own, don't worry. " I felt bad turning him down, he was after all just trying to make me feel better. But I knew I had to figure this out alone or with his help, I can't pull Caleb into my stupid mess.
I saw Caleb nod in agreement and side hug me.
"I'm here if you need me." He said smiling warmly.
"Thank you." I whispered to the boy who had come to care for me in a short span of a few days.
On the way to my car I thought of the places I wanted to go.
Making up my mind I sat in the car and started the engine.
"Come on, Delphi. You aren't weak." I muttered to myself, encouraging myself to make my way to the destination.
After two hours of driving I reached a forest in the dense side of the woods. I parked my car at the corner of the road.
A few metres of walking I found myself on a cliff. I swung my legs over the edge and sat on our spot.
"Why did you leave me alone in this cruel world, Ethan? You knew I needed you, but you still refused to stay by my side." I looked up at the cloudy sky and accused unwillingly. I hadn't visited this place in a very long time it didn't feel the same without him.
"Maybe it's my fate, I saw you leave and now him. You left me, my mate i-is, I don't know. Confused? Confusing?" I continued my talk to the sky, hoping he could hear me, help me. I knew it was too far fetched an idea but my heart got me to try anyway.
"I just don't know what to do anymore, Ethan. I've tried again and again to find myself after you left but every time I'm even a little bit close, someone or something pulls me away. Dad and mom are worried about me, Ethan. Maybe I need to go back to therapy." I sighed a sudden saltiness in my mouth.
Various reasons of my life taking a nose dive into hell came into my mind in a frightening slide show of events.
I placed my hand on my cheek feeling tears streaming down my face.
"Look, this isn't me. I'm losing myself again, Ethan and it hasn't even began. He's playing me. I don't want to be his toy or anyone else's." I knew my monologue was going nowhere so I stared ahead at the horizon.
I started swinging my leg, enjoying how free they felt. Loving the way they didn't care at all about how they are suspended in air. I could be like that, I wanted to be like that.
"What if-" I stopped myself at the ridiculous thought but couldn't help let my mind wonder a bit longer. "What if I come to you, Ethan?" I asked, the thought bringing a smile on my face.
I took a deep breath and a soft smile played on my lips as I closed my eyes.
"I love you, Ethan." I said, loudly, feeling my voice echo through the emptiness.
Just as I pushed myself over the edge someone caught my arm tightly, saving me from obvious death.
"What are you doing?" The voice so horrified it shook me but not enough to break me from my state of dishevel. I felt electric shocks travel up my arm.
"No, no. Leave me." I screamed, trying to pry his hands of me. "I want to go to Ethan! Please, leave me." I continued screaming as two strong arms wrapped around me. I started struggling against his hold.
"Think, Delphi. Think." He sternly spoke. "Your parents are still here."
The thought of my parents made me want to shrivel, I couldn't believe I was being so selfish.
I started shivering violently as he picked me up and took me to the car. My fighting streak long gone.
"Leave me alone, please." I pleaded in blatant desperation.
"No, I won't." My mate stated pulling me closer. Determination to bring me to sanity could be heard in his tone.
He secured the seat belt around me and took a moment to take me in. He didn't touch me again, only walked over to his side after a second. Perhaps he was assessing my mental state.
"What happened?" He asked but I didn't want to answer, I was too ashamed of what I had done. I lay my head on the cold window and stared outside.
"Who is Ethan?" He questioned again. Was. My head remained in its place along with my eyes, a small nagging voice in my head was begging me to tell him.
Realising I wasn't going to answer he drove silently, the radio humming a soft note.
The whole ride tears made their way down my cheeks but I was numb, my surroundings blurred.
The car soon came to a stop.
The sound of the bell ringing sent a set of shivers down my spine, the memories of that day returning, I had been standing in the same place. With the exact same expression.
I saw my mother open the door, just like that day.
"Oh my god! Delphi!" She gasped but I couldn't respond, my mind living in the dark past. I was shaking, the only reason I was still standing was because of the man beside me, the only new one in the scene.
"Alpha." She bowed her head in respect as I stared at the wall reminiscing.
"Robert!" She called out in panic beckoning us to enter.
"What is-" I heard my dad's voice a stop abruptly as he took in my shaken state.
"Where did you find her?" Someone asked, their conversation was muted, happening in the background while my mind played the memory at the forefront.
"Where have you been?"
"Where is your brother?"
"On a cliff, hours from here. Neutral territory." He replied as I looked at my pale hands, remembering how they were covered in blood.
"Whose is that, honey?"
"Delphi, honey. Please. Don't do this to yourself. Ethan is in a happy place." At dads words I felt a sob break through my body, the wounds of the previous meeting still fresh.
"Better place? Don't make me laugh, dad." I couldn't recognise my cold voice. I was sure the path to a better place was marked with a different sign.
"Alpha, thank you for bringing her here." My mother softly thanked him.
"What is happening to her?" He asked in a hushed voice which I could clearly hear.
"She is mentally unstable. It happens when she is under extreme pressure or if she is reminded of-" I cut her off.
"Nothing. I'm perfectly alright. Thank you for saving my life. I'd like it if you leave." I said, coldly.
"Saving? What are you talking about?" My mother gasped clinging on to the slip up.
"Nothing, I'm talking about nothing. " I looked at the grey haired boy and continued, "Leave."
"He is our Alpha, Delphi. Be careful of how you treat him."
I snared at her words.
"Be careful how you treat him, mother. He is the one."
"You-" My mother started but my father soon went to the rescue being the only one seeing logically in this situation.
"Thank you, Alpha. Please leave. You have hurt our daughter enough." He said looking at him directly.
"And I'm going to hurt you more, if you don't leave." My mother added forgetting about her lower ranking and the packs hierarchy.
"It wasn't my intention." Sylvester replied remorsefully. I could feel his sadness but I knew not to trust it, many things in this world can be faked and emotions were one of the easier ones.
I chuckled humorlessly.
"No, it totally wasn't, guys." I sarcastically added waving my hands in the air.
"It's me, all me. I love the pain." I sounded scary to my own ears I don't know what they thought of me.
Should I care? No.
"Delph-"
"Don't you dare utter my name." I growled angrily but he silenced me with a growl of his own. A more powerful one. Seeing as he had taken enough insult for one day.
"I'll say whatever I want."
"Then, say it when you are not around me." I looked in his eyes.
"I don't have time for more drama, Alpha. You have done the needed. I hope the player inside you is satisfied and the wolf, dead." I didn't wait for his reply, just turned and headed up the stairs.
I didn't need him.
No.
I was perfectly alright alone.
*****
What do you think of Delphi's new attitude? Did she just try to commit suicide? :0
Comments please!
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Love,
Rojesta 💜