A/N OMG im so sorry guys for the two month wait on this update...i had this all written out on paper...and it was soo much longer than this. I had a really long chapter planned but its like 3am and im exhausted. I honestly have had all the time in the world to write as ive been on a two week holiday, i just havent had the will power to do it. Im not even going to bother lying to you all about how ive been soo busy with work and school and stuff, because even though thats partially true, ive had plenty of time to write, just havent had to energy to. Sorry. So hopefully this will make up for wait and hopefully ill have another chapter up a few days..Forgive me?
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Chapter 19: "Sexy as hell, hey?"
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Arias POV
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Have you ever just laid in bed and gazed at the stars? Really looked at them? Admired them even? Stars are so big and beautiful, yet so small and unimportant. They are the galaxies own human beings. Have you ever thought about that? Compared them to us? Us humans?
We are all so small, yet so big. So beautiful, yet so hideous. Important, but at the same time, we are so irrelevant. Some shine brighter than others. Some live longer than others. The comparisons are endless...
Somewhere in one of the millions of galaxies, lies a star. A star that has gone through so much. So much that they have reached a point where they begin to collapse upon itself. It begins to create more and more pressure within the star before reaching its climax.
Some where in the world, there is a boy or a girl. And that human being has gone through so much. So much that they have reached a point where they begin to lose hope that everything will be alright. Lose every ounce of faith in themselves, that they can push through whatever they are going through. They begin to create more and more pressure within themselves, to a point where they can't deal with it anymore, they can't bare to tolerate it. They reach their climax and begin to erupt, sending them over the edge, which can lead them down many, many dangerous paths.
There is both a star and a human being being born this very second. Being brought into a world of such cruelty and brutality; a world of love and compassion. Every single second, a new form of life is being created and whether or not their life span is one of great length or not, there is no chance that it will be a smooth ride. But that does not -in any circumstance- mean that people need to cut it short. There is never an excuse for such actions.
All I'm trying to say is that, you shouldn't take life for granted. We are made and put on this world for two reasons. The first is to live and enjoy life to its fullest, and the second is to love. Now i know what your thinking, what a load of baloney, but at some point in your life, you have thought about that one girl or boy that you find cute or attractive.
That one person that you just want to go up to and talk to, but may or may not have been too shy to do so. That exact same person that makes you blush every time they talk to you or are around you. This may have happened to a million boys or girls. One when you were 12. Then again when you were 16, and another at 18. It could have happened with 5 different people when you were 21, but one of the main purposes in life is to find love and to grow old with them; start a family.
No one really understands this, or really takes the time to sit and think about why you are here and what you really want to achieve in life.
Well i do. Almost every night. I lay in bed, gazing through my window, out at the stars and become mesmerised by their beauty. I think about everything. I think about what has happened during that day or week or month, whatever, and comprehend why it happened, or what it means. I use this time to try to apprehend the reason behind everything.
Why did Louis kiss me? Why didn't he argue harder? Why didn't he try to change the dare? Doesn't he have a girlfriend? Doesn't he love her unconditionally no matter what they are going through? He's not a cheater so why would he do that? I mean its only a kiss, but when your in a long term relationship, a kiss can ruin everything. Why would he risk all that, for just one dare?! Its not worth it! And while i don't mind at all, i still can't fathom how he can do such a thing, when he still has a girlfriend. I know i wouldn't like it if my boyfriend did that to me, dare or not.
Why did i let him?! I knew he was with another girl but i let him anyway! I'm just as much to blame as Louis. I could have said no! I could have said to him that its not right and that he has a girlfriend! But me, being selfish, let my emotions and curiosity get the better of me, and refused to let the opportunity pass. i wasn't thinking and if i knew that i was going to feel so guilty afterwards i would never have done it!
I wonder if Louis is feeling the same? Is he feeling guilty? Does he care? Does he care that he practically just made out with another girl while he is, in-fact, currently in a serious relationship? Or is it just a guy thing? One more girl that they snog and suddenly they are all high and mighty? Like its a game to them? Just a number on a list? It makes me sick to even think of girls being objectified and I hope to god, that Louis does not think of it like that.
All this thinking it doing my head in. Ive done way too much thinking for one night and with that, i stand up and make my way out to the kitchen that I've had the pleasure of entering only once so far, now officially for the second time.
If your confused, let me fill you in. After that whole, 'Truth or Dare' game that we played, since we were playing it for quite some time, it got to like 1am and we decided to leave. Since i was drinking, i wasn't able to drive, therefore, Louis and Harry brought me home with them. They gave me the spare bedroom to use for the night.
Anyway, i made my way to the kitchen to grab a drink of water and some pain killers -all that thinking and alcohol had given me a headache- to find the light on, but no one to be seen. Ignoring it, i walked straight to the cupboards and grabbed a cup, -knowing exactly where it was from last time, when i tried to find a cereal bowl- and filled it with water from the tap.
"The pain killers are in the cupboard above the fridge." My heart skipped a beat as I jumped at the sound of someone behind me. I thought i was alone? I turned around the see a drowsy Louis, leaning against the counter, glass in hand. "Gosh! Louis you scared me!" I breathed out, trying to slow down my heart rate back to its normal pace. He silently chuckled to himself, facing towards the ground.
I reached for the cupboard, popping out two pain killers, as quietly as possible, before placing them in my mouth and washing them down with water.
"Couldn't sleep?"
I let out a sigh, shaking my head, "Nah."
"Me neither."
"Yeah, obviously." I laughed. "How come you couldn't sleep?"
This time he let out a sigh, "Honestly? I had too much on my mind."
"Yeah me too. To much thinking is going on in this noggin?" I joked pointing to my head. Louis raised an eyebrow at me in amusement. "Sorry. Its too late for jokes,"
"All good" He laughed. "So whats been on your mind?"
"Everything. You?"
"Cause thats so descriptive."
"You know what i mean!" I elbowed him in the side, causing him to chuckle softly. "What about you? What you been thinking about?"
"Everything, mainly Eleanor." He breathed out, sensing some obvious distress.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Sincerity clearly evident. I actually did want to know, it might clear up some of my own problems at the moment.
He motioned for the lounge room, before making his way over to that ugly blue couch of his that i hated just to look at. He plopped his arse on the lounge across from me, and rain his hand through his hair. There was a brief silence before he heavily sighed.
"I saw her, -Eleanor, i mean- in a shop the other day with another guy." He threw his head back and rested it on the back of the lounge, turning his attention up to the roof.
"Louis, that doesn't mean anything, they could have been friends or something." I said in hopes of comforting him.
"They were holding hands Aria, " he said monotonously.
"He might have been upset or something?" I tried to reassure him, but that came out more as a question, rather than trying to convince him otherwise.
"They kissed."
*cue crickets chirping*
"Oh," was all i could manage to say. That was the last thing i would have expected to happen. No wonder Louis' so distressed. I mean, it would be hypocritical to say she shouldn't have done that and that its deplorable, but if she's unhappy in this relationship then why is she locking lips with another guy? In the public eye of all places?
"Aria…can i ask you a question?" A barely audible whisper escaped from his lips. I smiled at him and nodded my head.
"Louis, of course. You can ask me anything."
He paused for a brief moment, before speaking. "Is there something wrong with me?"
My eyes widened in surprise. I was not expecting THAT!.
"WHAT?! Louis! there is absolutely nothing wrong with you! Why would you think such a thing!" I honestly could not believe that he would ask such a thing!
"Well then why does every girl that i seem to love leave me?! First i wasn't interesting enough, then i wasn't good looking enough, now what? Why am i so hard to love?" He threw his head in his hands, practically sobbing.
I quickly got up and sat next to him, remaking quiet 'shh' sounds, while rubbing his back, in attempts to comfort him.
"Hey…don't ever let me hear you say that again. Do you hear me? Any girl in the world would be lucky to have you okay! Don't ever put yourself down like that." And i meant, every single word that i said. Any girl in the world would be lucky to have him as their boyfriend, and i can guarantee a million girls would jump at the chance as well. It truly hurts me to see him this way. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this!
"Yeah right! Then why does it keep happening to me?!"
"Louis.." I began, looking him in dead in the eye, "what did i just say?" He sighed, not answering me. "Honestly don't say such a thing about yourself, you are a great guy and if they don't see that then thats their loss. Don't let a bunch of blind sighted girls make you feel worthless. They're not worth your grief and heartache." I said seriously. If they can't see what a great guy he is, then they are absolutely ridiculous.
"I loved her Aria. I honestly thought that she was the one."
"Louis it honestly breaks my heart to see you like this. But you've got to man up! Take the situation by the balls! Show her that you, Louis 'the tommo' Tomlinson, is an amazing guy, who is confident, funny and sexy as hell and no girl is going to take that away from you!" He looked up as soon as i said 'sexy as hell' and widened his eyes at my words.
"Sexy as hell', hey?" He smirked, all signs of self pity gone.
"Eh, your alright." I shrugged, trying not to laugh at him.
"Alright? but you just called me fucking sexy as hell!"
"Hey! just a second ago you were complaining about how ugly you were, now your acting cocky cause i said 'that'?" I raised an eyebrow at him in amusement.
He just shrugged. "caught up in the moment i guess, but it cheered me up. Thanks Aria. You seem to be doing a lot of that lately, hey?" A small smile reached his lips, in gratitude; as i returned it.
"What are friends for?" i asked, still smiling.
He didn't even need to reply that, instead he stretched his arms out and engulfed me in a warm hug, that i could probably say was one of the best hugs i have ever gotten, next to my mums. He pulled back after a moment and smiled, muttering another 'Thank you.'
"No problem, seriously." I spoke in reassurance.
"Soo..what about you? Do you want to tell me what you've been thinking about now that I've gotten that off my chest?"
I hesitated for a brief moment. Should i tell him? or let it go?
"Nah its fine. Im all good, I'm tired as hell anyway." I lied, letting out a fake yawn, while covering my mouth. Louis did the same, like it was some domino effect; even though i didnt really yawn.
"Yeah me too. I might head off to bed aye?" He stood up and stretched his arms out, while a small noise escape his lips before yawning once again and letting his arms drop back beside him.
I nodded in response and followed him down the hallway, stopping at the guest room.
"Well this is my stop." I joked, quietly laughing at my lame attempt of a joke; Louis laughing along as well.
"Goodnight Aria," he whispered, hugging me softly. I wrapped my arms around his waist, while his were around my neck, snuggling into him, taking in his intoxicating scent that i forgot to do before. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever, before he pulled away, leaving a lingering kiss on my forehead. "Sweet dreams love," he softly pecked my forehead once more before making his way towards his bedroom. I stood there, watching him until he made his way towards his door. He looked back towards me and smiled a small smile, before disappearing in his dark room.
I sure as hell wont be getting any sleep tonight.
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A/N Sorry its not that long..but like i said above hopefully ill have a new chapter up in a few days.. i have work tomorrow and the day after..-.-" like 4pm til midnight shifts so they are long dragging hours -.-"
BUT on the bright side !! on sunday my time So like 2 days...IM SEEING ONE DIRECTION IN CONCERT !!! <3 IN SYDNEYYY WOOOOOH!! BEEN WAITING FOREVER !!! <3 <3 <3 <3.. first concert of theirs im going to. My first concert was like a month ago when i saw P!nk and WOWOW!! she was AMAZINGGG. she flew over the crowd and i was like 3 metres away from her !! AAAHHHH!!
anywayy enough of my rant!!
Picture: gif of Louis and Niall skipping on stage.
TWITTER: @Doudy_laura
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sorry guys i dont use kik anymore...thats why i havent been replying to your messages. its been playing up!
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-Laura .xo