I wake up alone, the apartment silent. It's dark outside, the night so dreary. The only light in the apartment is the tv light flickering, small murmurs coming from characters mouths. The light allows me to sit up from cozy den. There is a small note laying on the table before me. Neat handwriting on a neon yellow sheet that read
' Troye,
I'm sorry that I left whilst you were asleep however I needed to get back and cook Sam tea as he was at uni today! I'm so sorry though I will see you tomorrow at the airport. Sleep well Troye Boi,
Connor.
Ps: I left my jumper on your bed so you'll have something to cuddle up to during the night if you get scared'~
Airport? Tomorrow? Vidcon! How could I possibly forget? I suppose whenever I am around Connor the world just fades away, the things I look forward to just don't matter because he is there and that is all I need.
Packing is one of the hardest things to do especially when you are in a rush. By the time I am finished I am exhausted. My back aches whilst obvious black bags are forming underneath my eyes. My eyes are struggling to remain open, closing and opening, closing and opening. Slowly I move closer towards my bed. The sheets are cold on my feet, my back, my body. Small goosebumps form upon the top of my skin, leaving me breathless.
All I want is for someone to help me sleep, someone to lay their arms softly around my waist, allowing me to bury my face deeper into their necks. For someone to care enough to talk with me until the late am about stupid things, dumb little ideas that we have that we wish to fulfill before we die however we feel as those we are running out of time. Someone to share everything with, to be relaxed with before drifting off into a deep sleep. I want someone, I want Connor.
Somehow just the thought of it makes me fall straight asleep.
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I arise to the sun, a small glimpse of light peering in through the whole in my curtains. The light seems to illuminate every inch of this heavenly paradise. The sheets, wrapped around my legs, loosely falling off my side. Lighting up the wooden floors, which seem to shimmer in the light. Lighting up the pieces of clothing that has been thrown around from last night antics. Lighting up my blushing face as I think of him and how I shall see him in less than an hour.
My flight leaves very shortly, around about two hours to be exact. Though I have a cab arriving in a half hour to take me to the airport. I've always loved travelling, the experience of an adventure and genuine thrill excites me though I haven't been good at packaging stress when it comes to situations like these, situations where anything could happen. Everything is not in my control. Anything could happen.
Thinking of the flight allows me to finally draw myself out of bed in order to get ready for the day. The floor is cold, too cold as my feet move across it. I am willing to get to the kitchen, a nice coffee to set the mood of the morning, the mood of the week. I have never been a huge fan of coffee though after my first experience trying it, I found it hard to say no to another cup.
Flashback:
"Troye, I made you a coffee, wake up," Connor speaks softly into my ear. I'm hidden witthin his white sheets, still in the same position from last nights movie night where I fell fast asleep before viewing the climatic end.
"I don't even drink Coffee Con, let me sleep," I groan, my body twisting and turning to get away from him though he is everywhere and somehow I find myself smiling into the sheets.
"For me, please. Just try it once for me. If you don't like it I won't make it for you again. But I've made it and I think you're really going to like it," He says, his eyes trained on my curls, still lifting up on to the pillow.
"Okay, just this once," I say as my legs make there way to the side of the bed as I stand, looking at Connor before making my way out of the room.
"Yass!," I hear him yell behind me before he sprints ahead of me into the kitchen, dissapearing from sight.
The coffee was great, more than what I had expected from it though the fact that Connor was so proud of his creation, so proud that I enjoyed something he had spent time on made it even better.
"Do you like it," He spoke quietly, his green eyes meeting mine.
" I love it," I smiled back.
And Connor never stopped. Every night he stayed over I would awake to a cup of coffee and a sleepy Connor. He would wake up ten minutes before I did and make me a cup. It just never stopped. Though it was perfect, the whole thing.
* Flashback Over*
The sound of a bell echoes around the house. I quickly hunt for my luggage before making my way towards the door. There he stands, a small white boy. He is lanky and short though extends his hand and introduces himself.
"Hi, my name is Johnny and I will be your driver today. If you give me your luggage I will place it in to the back of my car and we can begin our journey. I hope you enjoy the ride," He smiles as he speaks though his voice is monotone, everything said as if it has been spoken a million times before.
"Thanks," I say. "I'll just go hop in the car, thanks for this,"
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The drive is short and soon enough I see the entrance to the airport. I was always fascinated of the airport when I was a kid, there was always something about it. It was mostly the people watching, everyone was going on a journey somewhere and I wanted to figure out what it was. Mum used to always growl me off for lurking around people's belongings, snooping to find things out though I was excited and curious. It's a big world we live in.
Shortly we reach the entrance and Johnny quickly grabs my luggage as I get out of the car. As I go to stand a rush of wind is felt around my body. It's cold out, the wind more powerful than it usually has been though the sun is still shining blissfully. We usually have weird weather especially when seasons are changing.
"Hey thanks for the ride!," I say as I hand over twenty two dollars into the young boy's hand.
"Not a worry, enjoy your flight," Johnny says before slipping into the car and driving slowly away.
I spin around to face the entrance of the airport and am amazed by the amount of people, the amount of crowds that lurk around every corner. Lining up for food, for drinks, for the bathroom. All waiting for something.
I quickly make my way inside, the warm air instantly hitting my skin. I always appreciate warmth especially in places where I am stressed. I look up slowly, and there he is, Connor. Looking down at his phone, his thumbs twiddling as he stares.
"CONNOR!," I yell and his head whips up, a smile instantly appearing upon his lips.
"TROYE!" He roars before running towards me, his arms are open wide, inviting.
And eventually they are wrapped around me and time just stops completely. Until he pulls away.
"Hey, I'm really sorry about leaving last night, I just had to get back an-,"
"Connor, it's fine, you had things to do, I get it," I cut him off. He is always worrying too much about things, it's a flaw but I mean, at least he cares.
"Look, Troye I gotta tell you something it's kind of important," He begins to speak. His eyes are looking down at the ground almost as if they are afraid to look up.
He's hesitant, he always has been. It's just something about him, the way he worries so easily, the way his forehead crinkles together whenever he is fretting over something. The way his eyes will look down, wandering only at aimless pieces of dirt, or a tiled floor. His worry and nervousness worries me for how can something be that bad?
"What?" I ask, reaching one arm up to touch his shoulder for comfort. My eyes reach and instant tingles run down my spine.
"Troye, Connor, How y'all doing? I missed y'all so much," A voice speaks from behind me ruining the mood of the conversation, cutting us off. The voice is bouncy and positive. I spin around and come face to face with none other than Tyler.
"Tilly", I squeal before wrapping my arms around him, instantly feeling more aware of everything.
Tyler had always been a massive part of my life, he has always been someone that I could turn to about anything, absolutely anything. He always made me happy, drained the sadness out and just filled me with warmth. We would stay up together and just do stupid things, drinking booze on the bed and sleeping in the mess from what we spilt. Though our friendship was tamed when he moved to LA, away from home.
"I missed you so much boy, how about we go get a drink at the cafe? Zoe will be here in a few if you want to go catch her Connor," Tyler says, his voice is higher than it usually is, probably because of a lack of sleep, or excitement.
"You two go ahead, I will wait here for Zoe" Connor says playing with his sleeves. He backs his way slowly to the main seating area around him as I grab my luggage and start walking off with Tyler.
I hate to leave him alone, just sitting there though I never usually see Tyler. We've got this whole trip planned, these busy days ahead of us where I may never even see Connor or even get time to sit with him. Yet alone have a conversation or a cuddle at night. I feel guilty, so guilty watching him sit alone in this busy place, where a million faces focus on everyone and everything.
"Ty, I love you heaps and all but do you think we can stay with Connor? I just feel bad leaving him on his own..," My voice trails off as my eyes vert back to Connor. He looks so sad, just staring at the ground as people pass by him, all staring at him, probably wondering why he is alone.
"Oh, does someone have something for Connor hmm?"Tyler teases and I can feel my face begin to burn tomato red. He is joking, completely sarcastic though there feels like there is a genuine lump in my throat, holding back any words, any sentence from forming and being spoken. There is a genuine lack of words and in that moment all I can do is nod, up and down.
"Aww, of course we can go back Troye, Zoe will be here soon anyway!" He spits out before turning around, grabbing my hand and making us run back to Connor.
The world is spinning too fast as I run, blurs of faces, buildings, lines all blocking my vision being repeated one after another. It's a never ending spiral. It's not that I don't run, most times I jog just to release energy however my body is so thin, so tiny that an inch of movement can sometimes exhaust me. Though Tyler doesn't know this and so the running continues.
Until it doesn't and we both stand, bodies exhausted though still straight up in front of Connor. Connor with his hair so golden and brown, hanging over his eyes as he looks down. His eyes are hidden.
Until they are not and he stares at us, a small smile playing on his face. Somehow his smile drowns out the crowds in this airport, this massive place full of a million faces and all I see is his.
"What are you two doing back so soon?" He asks, his eyes connected to mine, never leaving even for a second.
"Troye here missed you so much that he made us come back and stay with you," Tyler begins to nudge my side as he speaks. I feel the blood rush to my face, my heart beating faster in my chest. I can feel Connor's stare on me, looking up and down almost looking for an answer.
"I just didn't want to leave him alone," I begin to mutter to the floor. "Don't be a dick,"
Connor and Tyler just laugh as we all begin to sit down.. Myself beside Connor and Tyler on the other side. We begin to talk like old times, about stupid jokes, dumb pranks that we pulled on people and just old memories. It feels natural, so lovely to just sit there and joke with old mates. I never really found myself fitting in when I was younger and now that I've gotten myself a group of people that I love, people I find myself loving every minute with, I'm happy.
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Minutes past, half an hour, an hour and then she arrives. Zoe.
She was always late for things, never on time due to personal things, or so she said. She was always happy though sometimes I see through her, see that she is sad inside, she is struggling with herself, finding who she is. She joins us in the airport, upon this crowded seating area. Where the three of us sit, looking like the happiest people in the world because frankly, we are. None of us notice her presence until she speaks up.
"Excited Boys?"
"I'm more excited for the plane ride to finally begin, we've been here for ages," Connor groans, his eyes looking directly at Zoe. She is wearing a blue jumpsuit, though it fits her body so well, so perfectly, She is so thin, just so perfect as a person.
She giggles at Connor's comment, her shoulders relaxing as she sits beside Tyler.
"We should probably start heading to the gate, our flight takes off in about fifteen minutes," Tyler screeches, looking down at his ticket. I hate flights, always have, probably always will though I'm sitting next to Connor and somehow that calms me down.
We all stand up, slowly grabbing our luggage. The more nervous I get about flying, the more faster time goes by. It seems the more I dread things, the faster they come by. All around me people are smiling, they're all excited to go places though I dread even the simplest of flights. Everyone is happy, giggling. Connor is giggling, throwing his head back at something Tyler said. They're so happy. Zoe is smiling at them in admiration, everyone is happy and they all remain happy until we make our way onto the plane.
The plane is big, lights on so I can view the faces of everyone. Some are nervous, some are happy, joy for their trip. Some are sad like they are leaving some type of paradise, maybe someone they loved. Though my face is probably the most sickening as I sit down in my seat. They announce they are beginning to take off and my heart drops into my stomach.
"Tro, Are you okay?" Connor says his hand slipping into mine.
"I'm scared. I don't want to do this, I want to get off, I want to go home Con," I shake as I speak, my hands becoming something I can't keep still. My eyes are trying to focus on Connor, on his eyes, his nose, his face on him though every look becomes dizzy as the plane moves, jolting slowly before zooming up further into the air.
"Breathe Troye, I'm here. Look at me, just look at me, at nothing else but me," He speaks, his voice is soft, smooth as he looks into my eyes. My hands are squeezing his hands tighter though I'm still terrified.
"I can't Con, I can't, I want off please," I look desperate, I hate being in the air, I hate this plane ride. I hate this, I want to get off, I want to get home. The air is trapped, warm and I'm scared. Faces stare as I look around and it's terrifying. I hate flying, I absolutely hate it, every bit of it.
"Come here, come here, it's okay," Connor softly speaks before pulling me into his chest allowing me to breathe in his scent. I'm so scared though Connor always calms me, the way his arms wrap around to fit my waist perfectly soothes me completely. He is everything I ever wanted in someone and now he is.
He begins to hum, sweet tunes filling my ears. I don't even know what he is humming, some random tune that sound so familiar, so soothing until it becomes nothing as my eyes close, still wrapped up in his arms.
10 Minutes of the flight gone, another 340 to go..
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So, That's chapter two. I've been writing a lot recently so hopefully I can keep up with a schedule or something. Tell me what you think.
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