Hey my lovely people!
Wooo finally updated.... Ehh I know I was a bit longer then I had promised. But the chapter got deleted like ugh so annoying. So yeah I've re written it. Not sure if I really like it and it's gone in a slightly different direction but oh well! It works. I will also be very busy the next 3 weeks but I promise to try and update again! :( Anyway I really hope you guys will enjoy it! Now don't forget to comment, share and vote! Means a lot xoxox
Recap-
I nuzzle further and whisper a goodnight. Thankful that he understands, that he is holding me and although tomorrow I have to be strong, tonight I can be weak for the first time I can fall apart and not be beaten for it but held and cared for.
It was new. A feeling I never felt. I slowly close my eyes and let the peaceful darkness take me
*Lacey's POV*
I woke from my peaceful sleep to see Bradley Connor and Tristan stood in the doorway that led to the back area that I and James were.
I feel James arms still around me and tighten slightly as I try to move, I look up at Bradley and his face is probably unreadable to most but I see the anger and hurt in his eyes.
I jump out of James' arms effectively waking him up as I do so.
'Lacey what's wrong?' He quickly questions as he jumps up reaching for me but stops when he sees the others. 'Oh hey guys, what we doing today?' He questions oblivious to Bradley's glare
'What was you two doing cuddled up on the sofa?' Bradley spits out in a voice so cold it makes me flinch slightly
'Oh er well la-' James is already stuttering so I quickly cut him off
'I had a nightmare last night and I was really spooked. I came out into the kitchen to get a drink and James was coming out of the bathroom he saw me and asked if I was okay. I hadn't noticed I was crying or shaking, he brought me in here got me to talk and then I fell asleep'
I look at James and raise an eyebrow to make sure that he agrees with what I say although he doesn't look best pleased, he understood. He finally understood.
I look back at Bradley and his eyes have softened although a part of me suspects he doesn't believe what I had just told him although Connor and Tristan believed me completely. Brady didn't, but he still reaches out and strokes the side of my face. It's then I understand that he must see the tear streaks that are now dried down my face.
His thumb runs across my damaged cheek and his eyes search mine. Everything around me is silent, I don't hear a thing as I connect my eyes with his, he has a hidden glint which I strangely couldn't identify.
He shuffles closer to me as do I, we are centimetres apart from each other, my heart is racing and my body feels like it's on fire as he cups my face . He throws me one last cheeky smile before our lips are fully connected.
It feels so new, everything we share ,a kiss it isn't the same, the feeling is more intense whether a simple peck or a full make out session. Its tender but oh so rough. I can't get enough. I'm completely addicted to him. I love it but in the back of my mind there's that feeling, that thought of how dirty I feel and used.
It had taken me a year before I was able to touch anyone intimately and I had eventually learnt to be okay with what happened, I didn't feel his hands anymore. Or his heavy breath. I didn't have nightmares but this. This is different. I feel dirty and vile as I share this kiss with Bradley. And I know why
He doesn't know. He has no idea what he's kissing. He doesn't know how vile I am or how used and dirty I am. He doesn't know that I'm a monster and that little thought kills me little by little.
He needs to know. But he can't . I can't have him know. I will lose him completely. I can't. James knows and he shouldn't. Bradley can't know. No he can't. I need to protect him.
I hear some gasps and I quickly shuffle away from Bradley's lips but stay close enough that his arms can wrap around me.
Tristan smirks as he points between us 'when did this happen then?'
Bradley scratches the back of his neck before ruffling his hair 'er the night that we played spin the bottle, that was the first time'
'So what your dating or hooking up?' Connor speaks up before slightly chuckling as James elbows him in the rips
'We're taking it slow. Not just hooking up but not quite dating yet' my heart flutters at his words and bury my face into his neck placing tender kisses to his sensitive skin
I hear a low moan come from his lips which causes me to pull away and giggle quietly.
'Anyway we came to get you to tell you that we have to do sound check now' Tristan informs us
'Oh alright perfect, James and I will freshen up and meet you there ' I explain before leaning in and pecking brads lips as he walks away with the others
James and I quickly get showered and changed before making our way from the bus to the arena.
'James I er would it be alright if we wrote a song together. I have an idea and would need some help' I ask nervously but he just chuckles at me
'Yeah cause I will, we can begin it this afternoon yeah?'
'Great.. Race you to sound check'
And with that I begin running into the arena with James running close behind
I made sure not to run at my full speed to give James a chance but I will still win which I will have no problem bragging about.
Finally reaching the arena I slow my running and walk up on stage my breath slightly heavier but nothing noticeable, however James came running behind puffing and sweating. As he stopped he leant over and placed his hands on his knees while trying to breath
'What happened to you mate?' Connor questioned while patting James on the back
'Had -breath- a race- breath- here-breath- with Lacey.' He stands up finally regaining his breath 'damn your fast'
I laugh and wink at him as I turn back to Tristan on the drums and Bradley by his mic. It's not long until James and Connor get in positions and they begin sound check while I watch.
I laugh as I watch them prance around the stage making jokes and mucking around. While watching I decided to call Molly to check in
(Molly normal. Lacey italics. Bold is Lacey's POV)
Hello?
Hey Molly, you alright?
Oh Lacey yeah I'm fine,
I hear some movement in the background followed by Molly telling them to be quiet. It's then that I begin to get angry
Molly who's there?
Knowing she's home as I called my home phone and that someone whom I don't know is in the house. I hear her speaking before a quiet 'bye baby thanks for last night' and then more shuffling before I hear Molly's voice
No one Lacey what are you talking about?
Don't lie to me Molly, I'm not an idiot so don't treat me as one. NOW WHO THE HELL WAS THAT? It's then I realise I'm shouting as James quickly looks over
L-Lacey I- I I'm sorry
Molly who was it? I'm not going to ask again. I hope you know I have cameras placed in my home so I can always watch it to see
N-no no don't. I I went out last night and hooked up with some guy. I'm sorry, I was drunk and brought him back
Mhmm so you went against the rule of not allowing anyone in my home. There's a reason for these rules Molly, I'm not some weird over controlling idiot, I have a past that can easily catch up to me those rules are in place to keep you safe because you live in my apartment. You could have put your self in some serious danger Molly
What kind of past have you got Lacey for it to affect me? It was a simple hook up I'm sorry but your being dramatic
I have a past that is to vile to tell. All I can say is there are people that would do anything to hurt me, including hurting you. Your safe at my apartment completely and utterly until you let strangers in. I'm not being dramatic, I've lived with this. I'm being realistic
Your scaring me Lacey
Good. Maybe now you won't let random people in my home. Listen I'm going to call you later to check on you, I care for you Molly I want you safe
I know I'm sorry, I won't do it again
Okay, look we will be back in London in two weeks keep safe and if you want come to the Newcastle or the Nottingham show alright
Alright bye
--------------
I don't bother saying anymore before hanging up but when I turn I see James stood looking at me in concern
'Whats going on?'
'Molly had a hook up brought some stranger to my home but with what's happening with you guys and my past it's not safe for her to do that, don't worry it's sorted'
'Oh okay.. Well the guys are still going but I'm done. Wanna start that song?'
'Yeah sure'
We take a sit at the edge of the stage, I open my notebook which is actually my songbook and start at a new page as James brings his guitar
'So what's the idea?' He questions
'Well I sorta started it. It relates to my past but I've made it slightly different so it's not to dark, you know?'
'Yeah so sing what you got so far?'
'Okay.... He knows
Dirty secrets that I keep
Does he know it's killing me?
He knows, he knows
D-d-does he know
Another's hands have touched my skin
I won't tell him where I've been
He knows, he knows, he knows
*i stop and look at James to see him concentrating. 'Then on this bit I thought you could sing,' he smiles and nods for me to continue
'It's tearing me apart
She's slipping away
And I'm just hanging on to all the words she used to say?
The pictures on her phone
She's not coming home
Coming home, coming home'
'Thats all I got so far, I want it so there two different perspectives'
'Its good, really good. I was thinking that when I sing 'she's slipping away' you could repeat it but replace she with I'm and the same for she's not coming home.'
'Yes yes that's great okay, so let's work on the rest and we have to get a definite tune'
He nods and thinks for a whole before he smiles 'I liked the tune you sang it in but maybe just add a bit more chords to it' he begins to play and I quickly smile
'Alright perfect next verse yes?'
'Well when you was singing it reminded me of what I had written a few weeks ago, it's only one versus but it goes like this ...
When she looks me in the eyes
They don't seem as bright
No more, no more, I know
That she loved me at one time
Would I promise her that night
Cross my heart and hope to die'
I listen and I feel myself smile, the song really relates to James' and I situation with him knowing about my past and everything that's happened but it's quirky how we've changed it so it's not perceived as dark or serious to anyone else
'Nice i love it, I feel like we need something in between the two parts though' he nods in agreement and we begin to think of lyrics and go over ideas before It finally clicks
'This song is all about you knowing right?' And he nods 'so what about in between we have a part where your basically admitting to knowing, because I would start the song with 'does he know' before going on to 'he knows' and you would be cementing that?' I question
He nods and smiles 'so something like I know what you did
Just lie to me there's no other
I know what you did
I know what you did
Look me in the eyes, my lover
I know what you did
Tell me where you've been'
I nod 'mhm something's missing, it doesn't sound right 'I know what you did' we sit quietly for a few moments before I sing 'I know what you did last summer, just lie to me there's no other. I know what you did last summer'
James nods and we both write it down. This process goes on for another hour before I finally release that the drumming has stopped
I immediately look up and notice brad and Connor talking while plucking their guitars but Tristan's no where to be seen. I stand ignoring James as I shout out to the others questioning his disappearance
'He went to get us all water about 20 minutes ago'
'No he didn't, I was just bringing the water to you and I haven't seen him.' Dean says loudly
My heart stops.
Where is Tristan?
------
What do you think?
What will happen?
Where's Tristan gone?
What will Lacey do?
Will they find him?