When the announcement that Gold would be ceasing to attend Oakwood academy, the whole school was genuinely disheartened. No one stayed that way though— not when Gold announced the upcoming tour with Chasing Silhouettes. However, when the tour dates came out, I found myself once again brimming with conflicted feelings.
“You didn’t tell me you’d be going overseas,” I said flatly, cornering Rian by the school gates as he arrived for his last day of classes.
Looking like a deer caught in headlights, he cringed. “I’m sorry! It’s a worldwide tour, Iris.”
Crossing my arms of my chest, I pouted at him. “How come you didn’t tell me this before?”
“I was going to tell you,” he said with an earnest expression. “I’ve been so busy lately though… I pushed it to the back of my mind because I didn’t want to think about it.”
“I’d be angry with you, but I’m too busy feeling happy that you guys are finally able to travel overseas to tour,” I mumbled, scuffing my feet in the dirt.
Rian cooed and pinched my cheeks. “What a proud girlfriend.”
I slapped his hands away. “I am proud.”
“Thank you,” he said sincerely, giving me a stunning smile. “You’re support means the most to me.”
“D-don’t mention it,” I stammered, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “You guys have an assembly this morning, right? You don’t want to miss that.”
Chuckling, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. “Yep. A final goodbye and thank you to the student body and the faculty. And another opportunity to advertise our tour.”
“I can’t believe it’s your last day. I can’t believe you’re taking off for the airport tomorrow.” I really couldn’t. The last week had flown by, just like the past month. I’d barely gotten to see any members of Gold. Honestly, I was feeling a little lonely.
Rian’s face lost some of its brightness, and the corners of his lips turned down. “I have to admit, I’ll miss this place. I’ve had the best experience of my life here.”
“I think I have too,” I responded, offering him a small smile. “I can’t believe it’s over.”
“It’s not over for you, Iris,” he told me, shaking his head. “Enjoy the rest of the year with your friends. Don’t think about me too much.”
“I didn’t plan to.”
He grimaced. “Always quick to the whip.”
I bumped my hip into his. “I’m kidding.”
“Rian! Iris!”
Rian and I turned around, seeing Kevin stumbling towards us. “Yun!” Rian greeted enthusiastically. “What’s up?”
“Luke and Noah are already in the auditorium,” Kevin told him, panting slightly. “The principal is waiting for you. The homerooms teachers are sending everyone in already. Hurry up and get there!”
Rian turned to the school building. “Already? So much heartbreak so early in the morning…”
I shoved him gently. “Get going.”
“Will you be listening?” he inquired.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I promised.
Leaning down, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. “Alright, see you soon Iris.”
Chloe, Kevin, and I sat front and center in the auditorium. There was an excited hum filling the room, but I couldn’t join it. I brought my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them. Chloe leaned against me, letting out a soft sigh. Noticing our glum, Kevin tried his best to wrap an arm around both of us.
“Cheer up guys, it’s not like they’re dying,” he said, poking at my cheek.
Chloe twisted her lips to the side. “Yeah. You’re right.”
“Just imagine the stories they’ll have for you guys when they get back,” he continued cheerfully. “All the dirty deets!”
“Dirty deets?” I echoed. “You think they’re going to cheat on us on tour, don’t you?”
Kevin’s face paled. “What? No! No that’s not what I meant!”
I grinned at him. “I know. I’m kidding.”
“Geez, I can never tell when you’re kidding Iris.”
Chloe giggled. “It’s her best quality.”
“Kevin’s right though,” I said, sitting a little straighter in my seat. “It’s not good to feel so melancholy. We don’t want to make them feel sad for having to leave. This is the best thing that could happen for them.”
“Right!” Kevin agreed.
“I’m pretty jealous,” Chloe started, a dreamy look appearing on her face. “Those guys will get to see each other play every night. That’s like, my dream come true.”
I rolled my eyes fondly. “Right, fangirl Chloe. Tell you what. We’ll go to every show we’re able to go to around here. As long as the drive is less than three hours.”
“I bet we could crash with them for further shows though,” Kevin added thoughtfully. Then, “What? You think I won’t be invited?”
Just as I opened my mouth to respond, the principal took the stage, introducing Gold to the audience. As if we didn’t know who they were already. As usual, Rian, Luke, and Noah oozed charisma as they took the stage. Where they belonged.
The first part of their speech was dedicated to the school, thanking them for the chance to attend, giving them a great experience, keeping them safe, allowing them to learn so much, and all that. Next was to the students as a whole, for supporting them and for treating them like normal students (which was kind of a lie, because most of the students didn’t).
“And of course, our special friends,” Rian continued, eyes locking with mine. “Iris, our student council president, thank you for showing us around the school on the first day, and becoming our first and best friend.”
“Yeah, Iris, we love you,” Noah added happily.
“And Yun, you too, for allowing us our first normal high school party,” Rian said, then did a double take at the principal. “Uh, that didn’t involve alcohol whatsoever… nope, not at all…”
I grimaced as Kevin burst out into laughter. Smooth.
“And Chloe, who seemingly is our number one fan,” Luke spoke up, his cheeks flushing slightly. “Thanks, um… for your support.”
Chloe beamed up at him. “He’s so cute!” she gushed.
Rian cleared his throat. “So, just a thank you to everyone as a whole. Although it’s only been a few months, it feels like a lifetime has passed. We’ve made friendships that I know will last forever, and connected with our fans on a level not many bands will ever be able to say they did. You’ve helped us grow as not only teenagers, but as Gold as well. So thank you.”
“Thank you,” Luke and Noah chorused.
“And I hope to see you all when we return to the U.S. on our tour with Chasing Silhouettes in a few months!”
Someone started clapping from the back. Then the rest of the audience joined, climbing to their feet. Iris, Kevin, and I stood up as well, catcalling and cheering. Gold took a bow, throwing on their most handsome grins, and departed, waving at everyone enthusiastically.
As everyone filed out and headed to first period, I stared up at the empty stage, a smile starting to creep onto my face. One day, I’d be standing in a crowd, not a school auditorium, looking up at Gold as they rocked the stage and the world along with it.
“They’re going to do great things,” I said aloud.
“Yes, they are,” Chloe and Kevin agreed, grinning stupidly at the stage along with me.
And now I got to be there every step of the way.
*
Goodbyes are always hard. Even when you know you’re going to see that person again. Even though you know they’ll call every night. But fortunately, I was a strong girl, and wasn’t all weepy like Chloe and Cindy.
“That kinda hurts my ego,” Rian told me, watching as Luke and Chloe clung together, Chloe snuffling into Luke’s shirt.
“What does?” I asked, smiling fondly at the pair.
“You’re not crying over me,” he responded, eyeing me critically. “Was I wrong? Did I mean nothing to you?”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t cry often.”
“I’m aware.”
“I will miss you, Rian,” I said, frowning at him.
He ruffled my hair. “I know. I’m just teasing you. It sucks that we have to say our goodbye tonight instead of tomorrow morning.”
“Yeah, I won’t miss you enough to get up at 4AM.”
“I wouldn’t miss me enough either.”
He caught my eye and we both laughed, our shoulders touching due to our proximity. I wrapped my arm around his waist and watched as Cindy and Noah blushed at each other.
“Mr. Callaghan didn’t seem as though he’d miss us too much,” Rian mentioned randomly. “Today was our last day and yet he appeared excited. You’d think the leprechaun would miss his Gold treasure…”
Unable to help myself, I laughed. “He’s probably glad he won’t have to worry about you setting the lab on fire.”
“That only almost happened once!”
“You almost set him on fire!”
“I did, didn’t I?” Rian responded, laughing hard. “I’m going to miss this.”
My smile faltered. “I am too, Rian. It’s gunna suck without you.”
He frowned down at me, flicking my forehead gently. “Don’t look so sad. You’re not the only one going to be missing someone.”
“What? I won’t be missing anyone.”
He grinned, opening up his arms. “Sure you won’t, Igloo. Come on, give me a hug.”
I sighed lightly, but stepped closer to him, resting my head against his shoulder. “It’s weird. I’m just imagining you getting to spend every day with my brother. And in Germany and Japan and all those places I want to go.”
“I’ll imagine your brother as you.”
“Please don’t.”
Rian laughed. “I’m kidding.” He tightened his arms around me. “Look, I already promised you I’d call every day. The days will fly by, I promise.”
Pursing my lips, I pulled away slightly. “It will fly by for you. You’re out living your dream.”
“Well, what’s your dream?” he asked.
I paused. What was my dream? “I… don’t have one,” I admitted, a little surprised by the answer. Everyone had a dream…
“Is there something you like?”
“Uh… cats… art? Photography is pretty cool.”
Rian nodded. “I got it. Wedding photographer.”
I grimaced. “Uh… I don’t think so.”
“Well, tell you what,” Rian started, grinning down at me. “When I’m gone, you think about that dream. And when I’m home, you tell me what it is, and we’ll work on it together.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What if I want to grow wings and fly?”
“Then I’ll hunt down the world’s largest bird and borrow some of its feathers to help you build a pair.”
“You’re so cheesy,” I accused, but grinned at him nonetheless.
Rian gave me his trademark smirk. “Cheesier than provolone.”
“That wasn’t a very Gouda joke…”
“Now who’s cheesy?”
“Heh, not me…”
Rian stared down at me, expression serious again. “You’ll do that though, won’t you?”
“Do what?”
“Think of a dream.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I will. And when you get back, I’ll let you know.”
“Good. Ah— that looks like our driver,” he suddenly said, squinting into the distance. “I guess it’s time to go back to the hotel…”
Our gazes met and I felt my heartbeat increase. This was it. This was the last time for a long time I’d get to see Rian in person, feel his warmth, touch him… “Damn it,” I swore, throwing my arms around his neck.
“I agree,” he chuckled, holding me tight. “I wish we had more time.”
“Me too.”
“When I get back we’ll have all the time in the world.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Rian pushed me away, his hands going to my shoulders. “Iris…”
Standing on my tiptoes, I leaned forward and kissed him. He smiled and kissed me back, his hand on my neck. After a couple moments he pulled away and pecked me on my forehead. “I love you, Iris.”
My eyes widened. “Rian—”
“Iris!” Noah called, flinging himself at me. “I’m going to miss you so much!”
I staggered under Noah’s wait, unable to take my eyes off Rian. He seemed pleased with himself, grinning brightly at both the blonde and myself. I didn’t know why I was so shocked— of course Rian loved me. But to hear it from his mouth…
“Won’t you miss me?” Noah asked, all puppy eyes and hurt expression.
“O-of course I’ll miss you!” I told him, peeling my gaze away from Rian. “You’re one of my best friends!”
Satisfied, Noah proceeded to squeeze me to death. “We’ll be back before you know it!”
“We can Skype and stuff,” Luke chimed in, appearing at my left, dark hair disheveled. Chloe probably attacked him.
Suddenly a lump rose in my throat. “Crap,” I croaked, blinking rapidly. “I don’t cry…”
“It’s okay,” Noah assured me with a kind smile. “It’s sad.”
“I’m going to miss you guys so much!” I cried, throwing my arms around both of them. Seconds later I felt another pair of arms circle us and Rian’s head appeared in my field of vision. Then Chloe, then Kevin, and then Cindy.
We stayed that way for what felt like forever. I did my best not to cry, but couldn’t stop a few stray tears from falling. Rian brushed them away, squeezing us tighter. When we finally broke away from each other, I stared at my feet, a little embarrassed.
“Well,” Rian began, gaining our attention. “Keep in touch?”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Really? That’s the best you have to say?”
“You guys better come to our shows,” he warned, eyeing each of us in turn. “If I check the guest list and one of you isn’t there, I will personally come to your house and drag you out to the show.”
I grinned at him. “We’ll be there, Rian.”
He nodded. “Good.”
“So this is goodbye, huh?” Chloe sighed.
Luke squeezed her arm. “Only for a little while.”
A car horn blasted through the night and we all jumped. Cindy let out a startled squeak, causing us all to laugh.
“Someone’s impatient,” Rian muttered. “Guess we should get going.”
“Wait, Rian,” I began, stepping toward him. “What you said earlier—”
Rian placed his finger on my lips and shushed me. “Save it. You couldn’t have thought of a dream so fast.”
I pushed his hand away. “What? No—”
“Think on it,” he said firmly, catching my gaze and holding it.
“That’s not—”
“Stay safe, Igloo,” he ordered, giving me a quick squeeze. Then, as if a second thought, he kissed me again, this time much more passionately.
“Ow, ow,” Kevin said, elbowing me in the side.
I broke away from Rian, feeling my face flush. “K-Kevin!”
“Bye guys,” Rian called, waving at everyone.
“We’ll send postcards!” Noah promised.
“We won’t enjoy visiting many different countries too much,” Luke joked, grinning at himself.
One by one they disappeared into the idling car. Rian was the last one in, turning back slightly to throw us a rock sign. Without realizing it, I signed him back. Then the door shut, him from view. I watched as the driver left the parking lot, and continued watching until the car was long gone.
“Why do I almost feel like we just sent our dogs to the kennel?” Cindy asked, breaking the silence that had settled. Then she paused, blushing. “N-no that was mean…”
I snorted. “Actually, I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
“We’ll get them back soon,” Chloe said optimistically.
Right. Two months until graduation, and then one more month until they were touring the east coast back in the U.S. It was nothing. Soon, Rian would be back home and in my arms again.