Uh yea, so it's been a couple of days since I've seen Mark now. I'm.. Not that worried. No, yea I'm very worried. I mean, I know he can take care of himself and all but I still worry about him. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I don't know what I would do.
I've been going to work everyday. It's been the same routine for the past week. Wake up, go to work, go home, eat dinner, go to sleep. That's it. Yea it's pretty boring.
I've hoped that Mark would at least stop by my work to see me but he hasn't. I haven't stopped by his house either because I honestly don't know if he would even be home or not. And what if he doesn't want to see me? I don't know, just things like that have kept me from going.
It's Thursday today and I'm just counting down the final minutes until I can leave work. 8:58...8:59....9:00. Finally mother of god this felt like the longest day ever. I quickly gather up my belongings from the back room and lock up the store and make my way across the vast parking lot to my car. I come up to my car and turn the back corner of it while looking down to get my keys out of my purse to get into the drivers seat when I run into a figure on accident. My keys fall out of my hands and onto the rough black pavement.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I-I wasn't looking.." I say while grabbing my keys. I stand back up and lift my head to look to see who I ran into.
"Oh..it's you." I would be more excited to see him but I just feel so distant from him now, almost like when we first met.
He lowered his head slightly. "I..thought you would be more excited to see me." He said somewhat disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm.
Is he serious right now? He's just going to show up and expect me not to care that I haven't seen him for the past week or so? "I am, I'm just- I don't..know what to say. I haven't seen you in days, Mark." I said slightly raising my hands up in frustration.
"I know Cara, I know" he said while reaching for my hand but I flinched away. Mark looked at me with hurt eyes. "Care please don't"
"How do you expect me to act Mark? I have no idea where the hell you've been and you expect me just to act like it didn't happen?" I couldn't help but raise my voice at him.
"I told you why I haven't been around as much." He said in a deep voice I haven't heard in awhile.
"Mark, if you want to protect me so badly, shouldn't you be near me? You're little logic you've got goin' on there isn't making a whole lot of sense to me." I said poking his chest with my finger. He swiftly grabbed my hand and twisted it slightly, holding it by my side. I couldn't help but wince at the pain that inflicted in my wrist.
Mark slowly and intimidatingly inched his face closer to mine. "Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do." His grip got tighter with every word that ran out of his mouth.
"M-Mark stop, let go of me!" I said trying to yank my hand free of his grip. I finally managed to wriggle my hand out. I held it with my other hand and backed away from the man whom I love, seemingly change back to the way I met him. His usually soft brown eyes were a dark brown and didn't hesitate to stay locked on mine. His features softened ever so slightly at my need to get away from him. I stood there searching for what was going through his head, but he was more hard to read now than ever.
I didn't dare move from my unwavering distance between us.
"Look, I-I don't know what's been up lately but I'm sick and tired of it Mark. Ever since we went to that fucking warehouse everything has been different and I hate it. I can't stand it. I don't know where you've been for the past week and I have been so worried about you-"
"I can take care of mysel-"
"Stop talking! Just stop and listen to me! I don't care if you can take care of yourself. I want to take care of you. You take care of me, do you not think I want to do the same for you? Because I do. I don't care about your shitty "acquaintances" you have. I don't care about them anymore. I want you to be near me, I need you to be with me. I-I miss you, no matter how upset I am with you right now. You're getting so caught up in whatever they're doing that you're starting to return to the way I met you. Grabbing me, hurting me, yelling at me. I-I don't like that Mark. I like my semi-sweet intimidating-when-he-needs-to-be Mark. Please don't be this way anymore."
Mark stood there seeming as though he was running everything through his head, but his gaze never broke from mine. Oh shit, should I have said that to him? He's already pissed off. No, I know I should have said it because it needed to be said. I can't deal with it anymore. I can't. Just the thought of this continuing made a tear slide down my cheek ever so gently. Great now I'm crying. I dropped my head not wanting Mark to see.
I heard loose rocks scrap the pavement underneath feet as Mark slowly made his way right in from of me. He stood back a bit not knowing if he should advance all the way. I quickly wipe the few tears that fell and looked up at his now soft brown eyes that I have come to adore. He tilted his head to the side and motioned it back slightly. "Come'er" he said opening his arms up.
How does he so effortlessly always make me come back to him. I guess, in part, it's me effortlessly making myself always go back to him. I walk into his open arms that I call home. I lay the side of my head against his chest and listen to his quick heartbeat start to slow down. He let his chin rest on top of my head as we stood in the vacant parking lot.
After a few still moments, he finally spoke up. "I'm sorry Cara. I know I say that a lot but I mean it every time." He let a few moments pass before he spoke out again. "You know, you may not know this but I..well I was thinking we could..start to do normal couple things more often. Like go to the movies and stuff. I don't know..I was just thinking. It's whatever."
I stepped back to look at his face to make sure he was, in fact, being serious. Oh my god how can he actually be that cute? "But we're not a normal couple, now are we?" I said smiling up at him slightly. He smiled his little cheeky smile that I can't help but fall for every time.
"Cuz you see" I said bring my hand up to my chin and stepping back. ""normal" couples would usually meet at a coffee shop or something and make a decision together on wether they would like to go out or not. But you see, we didn't do that, now did we, Mark?" I said smirking at him.
"Oh whatever, you couldn't have stayed away from me if you wanted to, sweetheart." He said smirking right back at me and adding a little wink. I blushed at his small action and tried to hide it but failed. "Everything I do still seems to make you blush, how cute. I like having an affect on you." He said smirking.
I laughed at his comment and smiled. "Mmm, I remembering trying so hard to get away from you but you just couldn't seem to stay away from me, now could you, sweetheart?" I said mocking him and raising one of my eyebrows at him.
"Like you didn't want me to." He said wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me towards him. He lifted my chin up so that my eyes met his and, without warning, locked our lips together for an awaited kiss. I pulled back and meet the toothy smile of my loser of a boyfriend.
"Mmm, I'm still mad at you. You're not off the hook yet." I said smiling at him.
"Please, by all means, do you're worst, sweetheart." He said smirking at me. I blushed so hard I thought I could've had a fever. Dammit, he just loves to make me blush. He noticed that I scorned myself mentally for blushing and lightly chuckled. I rolled my eyes and smiled.
"I'm going home, I'm tired." I said while going to unlock my car. I turned back around to look at Mark, who was still waiting there to make sure I got in the car.
"Cara." Mark said in a soft, low voice.
I turn back around to face him. "Yea?"
"I was just wondering if I could...stay the night with you tonight." He ran his hand through his hair almost as if he was nervous about asking.
I stood there thinking about it. Should I let him stay over? I mean this is the first time he's spoken to me in awhile. And I still don't know why he wasn't around for the past week or so.
"I don't know Mark...." I said dropping my head a bit.
"Come on, I haven't been over in days" he said throwing his hands up.
"I know that's the problem." I said bluntly. "I just don't think it's a good idea for now, I-I'm sorry." I stuttered trying not to make eye contact.
He just stood there looking, searching for any sign of hesitation I had. He dropped his head and looked at the cracked pavement beneath his feet. I watched quietly, every move he made. He stepped closer to me, now only inches apart. He kept his head low and grabbed my hand, running his thumb over the back of it.
"Please text me or call me when you get home so I know you're safe, okay?" He said making eye contact with me.
"I will, I promise."
He leaned down only slightly to kiss the top of my head and with that he walked off. I watched him for a couple of seconds as he did wondering if I made the right decision. I think I did. I mean, don't get me wrong, I miss him but we can't just get right back into the swing of things again after he's been away. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated, but he's my kind of complicated.
I'm soooo sorry this took forever to write. I've been so busy and it also took me awhile to figure out how to write this chapter. But I got some help from Wraythskitzofrenik so a big thank you to her. Also her story is awesome so you should go check it out. So yea. Okay.