So, @Krazy_Kiran gave me an idea to rant about Socitial expectations V/s Reality but I'm just gonna combine it with general expectations also bcos why the hell not?xD
Expect the unexpected! What you expect never happens because your expectation is set at a fucking high bar and the reality is really meagre compared to it.
Duck the world XD
~ First kiss~
E - when we kiss, there will be fireworks. He would caress my skin, I would feel alive, it would be magical and so surreal and then he would graze his jaw against my cheeks that would cause tingles in my body and *squels*
R- did you just sneeze on my face? Why the hell are you groping my body? Your facial fair just poked the inner folds of my nose!
Ewww did you just pass a chewing gum into my mouth? Disgusting piece of shit.
STOP TRYING TO TEAR MY BOTTOM LIP AWAY WITH YOUR SHARK LIKE JAWS!
~ SEX ~
E- we would make love all night and day, we would have breakfast in bed and shower together then he would make me orgasm again and again till I reach heaven above *inserts dreamy eye/ blissful state emoji*
I would finally get to lick my way with his abs *heart eye emoji*
R - umm *tries to hide body* why does he have so much chest hair? I can't see his fucking abs!
Oh shit did he just insert his carrot in my doughnut and pass out? Should I touch my hands around his pee-pee and take it out then walk away from here and run away from the country.
Is that... a tattoo of a fucking heart on his butt? Where are deep, dark, magical swirly inks?
~ Exams ~
E- This is an easy piece of cake, even a first standard kid could do it. Pffft I'm going to nail this paper big time. I'm after all a genius *pulls collar up*
R - yea ki hogaya? What language is this paper in? Do we even have this subject *scratches head*
Let me count the questions and calculate the marks I need to pass for this exam. Oh Lord! Help me pass this one and I swear that from the next exams I'll pakka prepare well and come.
~ Dreams ~
E - I will grow up to be a...
R- Kya? Beta, that's your hobby, you can't turn it into your source of income. LOG KYA KAHENGE? How will you get married if you get into this hobby of yours plus do you even get paid much in this stream
? Why did you waste your degree nalayak?!
~ Marriage ~
E - I will establish a career, chase my dreams, be independent then finally settle down after I hit 28-30
R - you are 20 now! Start learning the basics of running a house. Sharma nahi ati? Can't make gol rotis also. Saas kya sochegi? Tere pati ka khayal kaise rakhegi? Kaam karna seekh! (Have you no shame? You can't even make round chappatis/ Indian bread. What will your mother- in-law think? How will you take care of your husband? Learn some work!)
~ Review of Food ~
E - The pictures of the food got me drooling! Oh gosh I'm already hungry thinking about the pictures I saw online.
R - Dude! You told me that the food is cheap here but I guess we would end up washing the dishes if we order anything more than two plates and a drink.
Waiter , what's this? *points fingers over the cheapest starters on the menu*
Waiter - good choice madam, I personally love Po-tay-toe fingers because the crisps are golden friend dipped with a honey dew and a sprinkle of jalapeño sauce and tossed with white cream cheese sided with a orange- lemon zest ki dip.
Oh gosh, it sounds wonderful
After 5 minutes the waiter places a plate that has only one brown soggy french fry with a button size chutney and a parsley topped on the French fry.
Waiter - enjoy your Lé French fry madam.
I'm going to pay 200 bucks plus tax for this? I'm having trust issues from now...
~ Tutorials ~
E - ok the video looks so damn easy so I can make this stuff in hardly less than 20 mins or so
(Any video relating to food, DIY cosmetics, make up, nail art , cloth designs etc)
R - your house will be upside down.
As mentioned in the previous rant about knowing the basics of cosmetology, I looked at DIY home videos of waxing and I think I wasted nearly a kilo of sugar *face palm*
I watched like a million videos and I fucking did the steps ditto as mentioned but later on the wax just jammed up like a yellow stone O.o instead of wasting it I always broke a part of it by banging it hard wih a sharp object then melted it and immediately used it for waxing LOL
Fortunately, while buying a hair mask I spotted a few cans of waxing and without further ado I just bought the can and OMG IT'S SO PERFECT <3 the texture, the color, the odor <3 honey wax is the best.
*clears throat* sorry I just lost track of it
Oh oh! I just remembered one incident xD my cousin just loves nail art but she ain't good at it so we decided to scroll through some videos and decided to do water nail art.
During the first attempt the nail polish just submerged inside the water.
During the second attempt the nail polish floated but the other colors just jammed at. the top instead of spreading apart.
After 1028728172 attempts we got four fucking rings of colors and my stupid brother pop's out of no where and inserted his finger in the cup and the flower design got painted on his nails.
Me , my aunt, and 2 sisters charged ourselves on him while he was busy snap chatting the photo of that nail art saying how we forced him to do it and shit.
Oh how much I wish to to stay in a joint family *cries* being an only child in a neutral family is pretty lonely and it sucks.
Anywhales... Where was I? I DON'T TRUST ONLINE TUTORIALS MUCH NOW BECAUSE THEY MAKE ITSEEM AS EASY AS PIE .
I wanted to gift my mom a hand made teddy bear and after looking at the easy step by step tutorials I finally made something and my mom asked me why did I give her a voodoo doll :|
Fml -.-
~ Birds and bees/ puberty talks ~
E - your parents will make you sit down and explain everything calmly saying it's a natural process so that you don't feel uncomfortable.
R - condom commercial pops into the screen and your parents hurriedly change the channel. Your aunty talks to your mom if you started getting your menstrual cycle in hushed whispers.
If you find a sanitary pad at home, you won't get true answers. Everyone will spin something to waver you from the truth.
If someone thinks it's stupid to hide it from the kids about the "TOPIC" he/she will be pounced upon for even daring to think about it.
~ Attire ~
E - I guess it's ok to wear this, not much of skin is seen anyway so it's not a problem I guess.
R - Haye *collective gasps* this kid is getting western day by day. Does she even wear any Indian clothes at all? Look at how much skin she is showing !
Yeah, let me walk around to buy grocerries then play shuttle only in saree, let me sleep only in my salwar kameez, I will onmy wear my anarkali eventhough it's a 10 minute visit to my neighbours.
It's so not ok to wear something comfortable for me because I shouldn't forget my culture...
Don't start pissing off after reading this paragraph. I've written this from my very own experience :/ I had visited a friends place some time ago and the people at her house were like why are you wearing leggings with a kurti that has a slit? The neck is deep! OMG you have short hair *gasps* Indian woman are known by the luscious hair and you got it cut? You are not supposed to make changes with what God has given to you etc etc.
I never stepped foot into that house ever again.
It's ok to wear a sleeveless saree or netted saree where your stomach maybe seen along with your hands but it's not ok to wear something where a bit of your legs is shown?
Your saree maybe backless but god forbid if my top has one button undone because it's better I don't breathe rather thank showing some skin.
Oh so scandalous :/
Stop judging people by their attire because it's their bodies, if they are comfortable with wearing whatever they want to then it's their choice not yours or mine.
If a guy wants to sport a pony tail, wear a stud then don't go around bashing his sexuality.
Women may wear check shirts, shorts, but if they have a flat chest and short cropped hair you automatically call her a dude. Why?
Because stereotypical and common sense baby.
*mutters nonsensical words under my breath*
*spots a cartoon on the table*
O
n a side note, how many of you have tasted Hyderabad's Karachi bakery biscuits *_*
I was at Reliance fresh few days ago and spotted a box and I thought it must be a fake one because of so many reasons but I ended up buying a box but IT'S THE SAME BISCUITS! I GENERALLY DON'T LIKE BISCUITS BUT KARACHI BAKERY ONES ARE EXCEPTIONAL <3 SO YUMMY *HEART EYES*
Oh well, it's 2:30 AM , I have two exams left and I'm like potato :| usually our department finishes the exams first but this time every department has finished their exams and my department is the last one to finish the finals *cries*
Wait... I have nothing to do in the holidays other than being a useless log *gasps*
Anyone in chennai for a meet up? Around 10ish of you? Hop over to wattpad India on Facebook for a chennai meet up xD
I only know 5 people from here who are in chennai so...
Anyway got to go *sighs*
Happy birthday to whoever is celebrating heir birthday today <3
Oh and you all look so beautiful/handsome ;) baby potatoes are growing older !