(I was informed by one of my comments that the song i wrote the lyrics down to in one of my rants are pretty dirty. I agree and i don't advise listening to the song on the sidebar UNLESS you are already an Asking Alexandria fan. I am also dedicating my last chapter to Nadie_Rae because she is the one who inspired me to rant)
38. Act your age! Okay, your character is like thirteen right? Mhmm yeah and she is draped over this guy who is like seven years older than her? Oh, okay now I understand your story is about a girl who still plays with Barbies and believes in the tooth fairy who decided to act out the last music video she saw right? Oh no, it’s about overcoming her fear of love? Well she sure is overcoming something. Come on man! She is thirteen and the guy is old enough to be her young uncle. You may say that she is taking over what she wants but what she wants just so happens to be illegal in most countries! And what is she wearing?! A dress small enough to be a wristband! Who are her parents? I have never, ever met parents who allow their thirteen year old daughter to do to that. I’m thirteen and I couldn’t get a Facebook or technically watch PG-13 movies until my 13th birthday. I know, I know those are just some first world problems.
39. Authors notes in the middle of the story. I could be really getting into the story; so much that I am ignoring the outside world basically. Then right in the middle of the paragraph I see “Zomg! I was totallyyyyy gonna stop here but I decided not to so ENJOY” or “whoa what do you think is going to happen next???? Keep reading and you’re gonna like see it :)))” That just yanks me out of the story. If you were going to stop but continued the story you don’t have to remind me the exact place you planned on cutting the chapter. You could just leave it at the end of the chapter in a little footnote. That is just really aggravating. Also in your little reminders you seem excited to just ruin my experience of reading the story.
40. Mentioning random celebrities in your story. “That guy over there was just too cute. He had dirty blonde hair and he seemed pretty fit. He totally reminded me of Garret Ecstasy!” That is an example of mentioning a random celebrity in your story. I doubt the millions of wattpaders on this site know exactly who Garret Ecstasy. If he was a character in your story, I would understand because that is a big part of your story. But if you’re just mentioning him and he has nothing to do with your story then you aren’t helping me enjoy the story. And for those of you reading this thinking ‘Who the heck is Garret Ecstasy dangflabbit!’ he used to be in the band Blood on The Dancefloor. So if you are mentioning random people in your stories well “you dun’ goofed!” Sorry, Blood on the Dancefloor reference.
41. When authors get mad when someone leaves a comment giving you advice on your grammar mistakes. “Oh my god! Y r u ppl being mean to meeee?! I am only humanee!!! $0 wh@t if the storii h@d speeling mestaks! I useed txt t@lk cuz th@t h0w we @ll commmunicayt now rite?!?!? lyke wat is wong wit dat?” Your readers are there to support you and help you. Don’t get all pissy because the fans have trouble reading because of all the spelling and grammatical errors in your story. Truthfully, when people comment on my stories about any errors I fix them for that chapter or any chapters that had received that comment and I write them down so I know what I have to fix for all the future chapters.
42. Giving unreasonable demands in order to post another chapter. “Okay in order for me to publish another one of my awesome chapters, I will need 250 more votes and 300 more fans (: kthxbai!” That is very annoying to see because basically you are saying that you are no longer writing and only a wattpad wish on a star could help. If you do make it to the ridicules amount you then get up and leave Wattpad in shame because you know you just gave us that amount to prove to random people on the internet that you are popular.
43. Song lyrics in the middle of the story. “I can’t believe Amanda thinks I love her! I am just using her to my advantage, because you know I’m a dude and ALL dudes are like that right? I even bought a ringtone just for her so people think I actually love her. Oh gosh here she is calling now. The ringtone I bought went off,”:
“Hope they hear you screaming for more
Your thighs were made for cheeks to graze
My lips, your poison
They bring you down to your knees
Your thighs were made for cheeks to graze
My lips, your poison
They bring you down to your knees”
One, I love this song so good job with picking a ringtone. Even though you are a sexist pig, you have a quality taste in music. See, I bet if I wrote down all the lyrics you guys would just skip over it and read what I am writing now. If you don’t know the song it is annoying to see it in a story. Also, kudus to whoever knows the song. Psst, its “Not the American Average” by Asking Alexandria. Listen to it if you want but it has A LOT of screaming.
44. LOTS OF CAPS LOCK IN STORY. TO ME CAPS LOCK IS LIKE YELLING. SO ARE YOU YELLING YOUR STORY AT ME? BECAUSE THE LITTLE VOICE IN MY HEAD READS IT LIKE IT IS SCREAMING. I AM GETTING A REALLY BAD HEADACHE FROM READING YOUR STORY LIKE THIS! See that was annoying and painful.
45. Taking 102 chapters for the two main characters to fall in love. How many freaking obstacles are there. I understand that there are common ones like they already have a spouse or the parents don’t approve but some are just made up. Really, “the lead character got hit with two cars at the same time then turned into a werewolf that ate the drivers. The cops then saw so he had to run off to Rio and you may never see him again.” It took all my strength not to punch myself in the face for writing that. I have no idea where that had come from but I hope they part of my brain that made that up gets locked in a freezer forever.
46. Brother and sister realationships. See, if we were in Egypt during the B.C. time or we were all Greek gods or goddess that would be fine because that was the normal thing. But we are now in the time were we don’t have to get up to change the channel, so yeah that isn’t normal anymore. It’s illegal and creepy! That last book I read that involved incest was “Flowers in the Attic”. Even in that book they made it clear it was weird and illegal. The thought of me EVER dating or doing anything with my brothers besides things that siblings do makes me a bit sick. Ugh, I’m gonna stop now because it’s just so creepy. DollyLoxx wanted me to write about this so happy early or belated birthday DollyLoxx.
47. Switching from Canadian spelling to American Spelling. I have a problem with pointing out little mistakes in other works but not mine, so forgive me if you have never noticed this before. But “Grey” is the Canadian spelling of “Gray”. Please do not switch spellings between sentences. Truthfully, that doesn’t bother me THAT much because it is a tiny mistake but some Canadian spellings are more noticeable. For example “Centre” is different from “Center” so please don’t mix that up. Sorry for picking on the Canadian spellings of thing but I don’t know other countries spelling habits so I’m just gonna mess with you Canada.
48. Stupid parents. Let me rephrase that, the authors portrayal of parents who aren’t in the know of what is going on in their children’s lives or not there at all. Teenagers should not be out all week partying at 21 and/or over clubs. If you find your child’s fake I.D. you don’t just brush it off YOU HIT THE KIDS WITH A BRUSH. Just kidding, I bet you guys were thinking. “Woah Ashanti got all violent on us.” But really if your kids are “Playing tic tack toe naked in their parents basement” (Thank you Ke$ha for that perfect example) you failed as parents and you should return them or something.
49. The hot teacher in most stories. Where are you finding these teachers at? Because none of the teachers at my school looked the way you describe teachers your stories. Mine are all old and stuff and most of them are girls so yeah I’m a bit jealous of the eye candy your character gets every day.
50. Upgrading at unconventional times. This happened to me about five seconds ago. I went to go turn the page then it told me that wattpad is updating come back in a few. Then I’m all fuuuuu and I’m fuming mad. But, I drank some ice tea then calmed down so yeah I’m cool with it.
Back after what seems like an eternity. I’m in eighth grade and I can’t stand it! I was just so pissed at the stupid rules that I didn’t write, well now I am back so yay! Notice I changed the way I am writing this rant, more sarcastic quotes in each number. This is my last rant for the things that annoy me on Wattpad because not many things annoy me on Wattpad so I am making each of them long. After this I will be making “what annoys me” so it would be what annoys me in general. Enjoy!