It really is crazy how a person's life can turn around. There really is no way to tell whether that change will be good or bad. Occasionally there isn't even a change to begin with. Although most of the time there are only ever two extremes. Either someone who had a dreadful upbringing becoming better or someone who had an incredible upbringing suddenly ending up in a horrible life. A single decision can ruin it all for anybody. For Dudley, it was easily the first option.
A lot of the time, people who were bullies when they were younger do manage to turn their lives around but very few manage to turn their lives around in the way he did. He was a spoiled brat and he had everything handed over to him on a golden platter all the way up until he was seventeen but then he got forced into something he had physically no control over. There really wasn't anything he could have done but to go into hiding with his parents despite not having a clue of the seriousness and the scale of everything going on around him.
Now that he had put all of that behind him, he had come out of the other end of the spectrum a million times better than he ever could have imagined. A loving wife, genuine friends, a successful business, and a rather large house just outside the centre of London. If he was asked four years before what he would have been doing with his life, he probably wouldn't have said anything or he would reply a personal trainer. That was really the only thing he could see himself becoming a few years' prior considering he had the build and the drive.
Thinking back on it though, he really wouldn't have enjoyed doing that. It can be a bit boring now though considering he does work in an office most of the time but he is rarely ever actually needed in. Most of the time he can just do his work at home. Dudley may have had an amazing upbringing himself but he feels guilty for it especially since Harry was treated horribly for all the years he spent living under the exact same roof. He may have managed to get over everything and stop blaming himself but there is still a part of him that feels responsible- it probably will always be there no matter how much he absolutely hates it.
That is what a lot of unjustified favouritism does to someone, usually the one who gets a better life bitterly regrets it later on whereas the one who didn't get the better life can just get over it even though it may take years to do so. Dudley was lucky that as a whole Harry was very forgiving and always tended to look at the larger picture whenever it came to these types of situations.
Currently though, a visible weight had really lifted from his shoulders as he stood in the street his childhood house was situated on. The house had now been sold to a young couple who wanted to be close to the capital city but still be close to their family elsewhere in the far south of the country. They had chosen the house since Petunia had put it on the market as the price herself and Vernon paid for it twenty-two years before. Prices had risen considerably since then but she didn't feel comfortable asking for more than what she actually paid for it.
Considering it was a five-bedroom house it was already very desirable and it was even more desirable that it was close to direct links to a lot of cities. It had only been on the market for a month in total which was practically unheard of with the housing rates now but the middle-aged couple purchased the place for them and all of their children. Petunia handed over the keys a couple of weeks back and luckily the new owners were very understanding that it would take her a while to pack up everything and get settled into her new place.
It was weird, standing there yet not in the way he used to. The amount of times he walked down Privet Drive and assumed himself nor his parents would ever leave the place yet now the last person who lived in the house was finishing up her packing whilst actually having a civil conversation with the new owners. This was something new for her, she had always essentially lived under Vernon's powerful nature and it was a bit strange for Dudley to see. He hadn't spoken to Vernon since that whole argument but he had heard that he was now living in Brighton which was quite a fair distance from where he lived and from where Petunia was now going to live.
It was a good thing, seeing his mum so happy but at times he does feel like it is forced. Then again though, he had only ever known her as a slightly less control freak than that of his dad. Dudley had never gotten the opportunity to see her nice side and it made him swell with pride that she was doing fine. Not long after her declaration of standing by her son instead of standing by her husband she had kind of retreated in on herself. That is probably normal though for couples who have been married for a very long time going through a divorce.
Speaking of the divorce, all the papers had been signed and filed. Dudley had expected Petunia to keep her surname of Dursley so he was very shocked when he was told that she was changing it back to her maiden name of Evans. Petunia Evans. It didn't quite sit right but he had only ever known her as a Dursley and not any other name. He felt bad for her though because he got the opportunity that she didn't get to have.
He had the chance to properly apologise to Harry and he had done so. Petunia never got the chance to apologise to Lily for everything she put her through because her life was taken far too soon. Now not a single day goes by when Petunia doesn't think about what could have happened, what might have been had she saw the error in her ways before the first war officially started or Lily wasn't killed.
However, she did have some kind of opportunity to show her true colours and that was through the only thing she had left of her sister- Harry. She won't lie by saying that she was fond of him because she never was but he was still family and to her family will always come first no matter what. Harry completely turned her life upside down in a way that she didn't want because then she would be faced with the constant reality over what happened between herself and her sister. That is what she thought though. That is what she wanted- but it wasn't what she needed.
Petunia needed the closure which was why she was spending today cleaning out the room that Harry occupied when he still stayed there. She had only been in there a miniscule three times before he left to fight in a war centred mostly around him. Luckily Dudley and Felicity both agreed to tidy the place up a few weeks ago and there was no longer a thick layer of dust covering absolutely everything. The room wasn't huge, but it was still pretty large. Eventually she ended up throwing most things away but two things she did keep. A single note she had found which was written from Dumbledore and meant for her. She didn't even know that Harry still had it.
The second thing she had decided to keep was the photo album. She wanted to take some of them out and frame them but she didn't want to freak out any guests in her new home with the moving images. She had been exposed to things like this since she was young and it brought back fond memories of when she didn't fight with Lily on a constant basis. Those moments were extremely rare and she treasured them in her mind. Petunia still hadn't forgiven herself, but she was ready to move on and close a chapter of her life and open a brand new one.
Dudley had been spending a lot of time with his mum the past week or so and he was slowly getting used to seeing her so happy all the time. She used to be absolutely miserable and that caused him to stop in realisation that it wasn't just him that Vernon was controlling over. Now neither of the pair had those restraints holding them back and could run around and not need to worry about his reaction. Eventually he is going to have to face Vernon again but right now he is very content in simply staying out of the situation and aiding Petunia in doing such a difficult task.
It's always difficult to leave a place that you spent over half of your life in but she seemed perfectly fine. Her new house was drastically smaller and only had two bedrooms but it was all she needed. The leftover money she got from her old house along with the sizeable amount she agreed to with a pre-nuptial contract with her estranged husband gave her a decent amount so she wouldn't ever have to work yet not really need to worry about debts either.
So when Petunia emerged from the house with the final box and transferred it to the moving van a huge weight had lifted. There was so many bad things that happened in that house and now they were finally ready for change. Dudley rode in the van with his mum on the way to her new house which he hadn't been inside yet- only seen the exterior. She was adamant that he shouldn't see it until it was more or less completely finished. It was only bits and pieces left to go in anyway, all the furnishing had been completed over the last few days.
Once they arrived, Dudley was actually surprised at just how small the place was. Then again, it was only Petunia living here from now on so she wouldn't need a large house. He was given a quick tour of the place and helped her unpack the last couple of boxes not long after. It still felt weird, everything that was going on that is. A small part of him still expected to see Vernon sitting on an armchair eating a giant lump of greasy food whilst watching the television. It wasn't a bad strange though, it was a very eye opening strange.
Dudley watched as Petunia's fingers trailed very gently over the leather of the photo album almost as if she was scared it would disintegrate with a heavier touch. It was the only thing she really had left of her sister though and it meant an awful lot to her. Through these pictures she got to experience what Lily's life was actually like and hopefully she would be able to look at those pictures and not think 'what if' one day. It wasn't going to be any time soon, but maybe.
Just maybe.
The pair of them talked for quite some time afterwards. It was still a very odd dynamic for them to just sit there and have a regular civil conversation without interruptions. The only times this ever happened before was really on holidays and birthdays. They talked about anything and everything. Dudley asking Petunia whether she would consider working again since she hadn't for a long time (Vernon insisted often that women should only work in the home) and Petunia asked him if he ever considered expanding his business.
Now, he won't lie to himself never mind lie to anyone else because he has considered it. The only thing that ever really stopped him from making a move that big was leaving his family and close friends behind. He's always naturally assumed that to do something, he would have to be there. He could easily have someone else do it for him or he could arrange things via a phone call but it was never the same as actually being there and seeing it with his own eyes. He was still young though so he had plenty of time to decide on his possible future business ventures.
He was shocked though, when Petunia brought up the topic of magic. It was really the only first time she had willingly brought the said topic up of her own will and not because she felt obligated to speak about it. Not much time passed before she asked him how things were going with gaining a relationship with Harry again. His answer was a simple word with four letters. It was the first word that came to his head that explained everything because things were going good in that area. There was no longer any awkward silences between either of the two cousins. In fact, they were now joking with each other which would never have happened a few years ago.
Although deep down he still felt immense levels of guilt over everything. He really couldn't have done much to prevent it all happening but the questions still plague him each individual day and most nights when he is trying to sleep. What might have things been like did they have the same exact upbringing? What if neither boy was spoiled rotten and was treated equally? What if secrets weren't kept from either of them concerning their heritage? After all, Dudley was related through blood to a witch even though he never got the chance to meet her.
Now that he thinks about it deeply, he probably would have been jealous of Harry being a part of a world of fantasy that he would only get to dream of. Would he have ever been as jealous as Petunia was when Lily got her letter? He was beginning to understand Petunia's logic to everything, although it was still wrong. She didn't want either boy to be riddled with jealousy and crippled with guilt so she tried her best to give them both different lives. That way when Harry got his letter because she already knew he was a wizard the second he was placed on her doorstep, Dudley wouldn't feel quite so left out as he had a better upbringing. Petunia seemed to notice how Dudley had spaced out and the exact reason why, and her words shocked him majorly;
"Dudley, people won't forgive you fully unless you can finally forgive yourself."
Not long after those words left her mouth he had to leave in order to catch his train back to Fulham. It wasn't a long journey, only an hour and twenty minutes but he swears it felt like years. What did Petunia mean with that exactly? Surely accepting that nothing could be changed and moving on was exactly the same thing as forgiving oneself? He couldn't have done anything so there really wasn't much of a point in him moping around and asking himself questions that would never be answered. He was beginning to move on in his life, was he on the path to forgiving himself too?
How can he forgive himself in the first place when it was mostly all because of him that caused everything? If he wasn't so attention seeking, he might not have been spoiled rotten and if he wasn't spoiled rotten Harry might have had a similar childhood to him. He shook his head a little in an attempt to rid these unanswered questions. He's still dwelling on the past and all the what-ifs as opposed to dwelling on the present and the future. The past cannot be changed so there was literally not a single point in trying to figure out the different scenarios to the situation.
Is this what Petunia meant about him forgiving himself? It was the only thing he could think about that made sense to what she was saying. Despite him not having the best relationship with his mum, she was a very good listener and always gave good advice on life situations. This was an amazing thing of course but it annoyed him when she essentially spoke in riddles that took a long time to figure out the deeper meaning of her words. He wondered at times how she didn't have a degree in psychology with her level of thought.
That was really the one thing that irritated him about Petunia the most, that she never got straight to the point on giving advice in any shape or form. Although he was smart enough to not bug her to ask her to elaborate further with her complicated words of wisdom. Now that it was beginning to come into Summer, the heat had drastically increased. Hence why Dudley was only wearing a plain white top along with trousers. There was no point in him bringing a jacket because he would have felt as though he was melting and would have been dripping in sweat.
It wasn't even technically summer yet and to an extent Dudley was really hoping to have a warm summer and not be stuck with the typical monsoon like rain. Again, he shook his head because now he's probably just jinxed it for everyone. For the whole walk he kept his eyes on the ground in deep thought. What did Petunia mean? Overthinking on the matter is probably only going to make it worse but now it's just going to annoy him until he does figure it out no matter what.
By the time he had gotten to the station and sat down, he was a few minutes early. Much to his surprise the station was rather deserted, since it was technically the rush hour it should logically be packed with people. Then again though, he wasn't going to complain. This meant that he wouldn't be overhearing numerous others conversations on top of his overthinking. It was definitely going to annoy him for the rest of the day and possibly a few more days afterwards. If only she gave him some kind of hint...
He didn't have much time to think because soon the train had pulled up at the platform and he cringed outwardly at the annoying screeching noise it made against the steel lines. That was a sound he never would and wouldn't want to get used to hearing. It was a bit strange, being on a train with almost no people on it. By now he is very used to the hustle and bustle that came with living just outside of London City. He was lucky right now that he had managed to catch a direct train because he usually had to get two so he didn't need to worry about running between different platforms at a connection. Before he really knew it, his eyes got really heavy. He'd been rather tired the past week or so with helping Petunia finish packing and setting up her new home and with his work.
//
Puddles were everywhere, it wasn't anything new. Numerous kids were running around the rather small playground in their individual groups. The girls that were gossiping, the boys that were playing a game of football in the makeshift goals, some mixed groups talking about anything and everything. Two people stood out though, but for all the wrong reasons.
One of the boys was in a group with a few other boys and nobody ever dared to mess with them. It wasn't just because they didn't want to get hurt but also because they knew that they would face the ringleader's dad's furious rant if they spoke up against them. Despite them all only being ten or eleven years old, they had a reputation that was very well known and not just in their primary school.
They never pretended their arrogance, their attitudes stayed with them in classes and it had resulted in numerous detentions and suspensions. There had even been talks to expel them but there was no way that Vernon Dursley was having his son removed from school under any circumstances. Nobody bothered trying to outsmart the overweight man so they were only ever given warnings.
So it wasn't a surprise when all the other groups kind of shied away as they walked through the playground looking for their favourite punching toy. What was disgusting about it was that this wasn't an inanimate object- in fact it was the leader's younger cousin who was orphaned. Harry never belonged in any social group but he wasn't ever really treated badly from other people- well, except for his cousin and his gang.
They called a lot of times trying to pinpoint the scrawny boys exact location. It wasn't difficult to spot him considering he only ever wore Dudley's hand-me-down's and he was a lot larger than Harry. However, this gave the younger boy an advantage- he was very fast. He'd managed to outrun them many times so surely today was no exception. Like most days, Harry had opted to hiding behind a large bin in a corner, almost completely obscured from view.
What made the situation sadder was that nobody had the guts to stand up for what was right. Then again, they were all kids and they didn't exactly know much better anyway. This was a normal occurrence and Harry caught someone giving him a weary glance which told him that they were looking for their favourite punching toy once again. With this he curled in more to try and shield himself further from view even though he knew it was going to happen no matter what he did. Perhaps he could hide until the bell rang because then there was no way they could get to him. However, that meant he would get it worse the next day.
He saw them round the corner not long after and as usual every other group cleared a path out of terror for them to walk through. What did he ever do to deserve this? He made the mistake of staring for too long because soon baby blue met forest green and they were soon running towards where Harry was hiding. It only took him a fraction of a second to react and he was soon running as fast as he possibly could. Unfortunately for him though, the others were all getting faster as each day progressed and they appeared to be very evenly matched currently.
Dudley kept his focus solely on Harry but what he didn't expect was for him to be there one second- and not there the next. They all stopped and looked around wildly trying to figure out what had just happened exactly. How did he just vanish like that? They had all seen him, so where could he have gone? Suddenly, one of them pointed to the roof and they all awkwardly looked up to see Harry's head peeking over the side of the stone wall.
//
Dudley woke with a start at the memory. He'd almost completely forgotten about that and it was weird to have it replay so freshly in his mind like it had happened minutes before. It hadn't though; it had happened over a decade ago now. He also realised with a start that he was close to his stop and he was very glad to have woken up when he did because he didn't really like the idea of catching another train with these extremely uncomfortable seats. The carriage was still pretty deserted bar a few people at the opposite end and they weren't looking at him.
Why was he dreaming that in the first place anyway? Guilt began to eat him up once more to the point he was sure if he attempted to eat something he would vomit it straight back up. Just like that, all of those old feelings came back and he grew considerably paler. He realised right then that he had pushed the majority of the memories aside to the point that he wasn't sure if they were memories or just dreams. He knew this time though that it wasn't a dream, that did actually happen.
It hit him suddenly what Petunia had meant and he felt incredibly stupid for not realising the deeper meaning sooner. He still felt guilty over everything and now he really realised that he had not forgiven himself. That is what she meant. She knew just by looking and speaking to him that he had been ignoring what had happened and was trying to simply get on with life but that was not how it worked. She was right, he would never be forgiven if he couldn't forgive himself.