Alex (girl)
Okay lang ba to? To let my guards down whenever he's near. To let my guards down if he's the one seeking for me?
What if I end up getting hurt again?
Friends, he said friends.
Right, pero kahit na. What if.....
What if you fall for him?
No, no I won't fall for him. Not him, anyone except him.
Naglalakad kami ngayon papunta sa sakayan namin. He's not talking but I sense he's a bit agitated.
"Okay lang naman sa akin umuwi ng mag-isa" pagbibiro ko.
"Oh no you won't" he said now smiling.
"Spill" I said still looking infront. "Spill what?" tanong niya. "Sabihin mo na kasi, para kang constipated sa itsura mo ngayon. May problema ka ramdam ko" I said now looking at him.
"I don't know" he said now putting his guards up. First time, he doesn't want me to know. Okay, I won't push him.
I just stay silent and kept walking.
He let out a loud sigh and spoke.
"Fine, I'll tell you. Only if you promise me that you will never ever blame yourself about this" he said.
"Bakit ano ba yun?" tanong ko. "Basta magpromise ka muna" he said.
"Oo na, promise" I said lifting my right hand in the air. He chuckled.
"Nagaaway kasi kami ngayon ni Maxine" he said. "Maxine? Sino siya?" I asked clearly unaware who she is.
"Girlfriend ko" he blurted out now looking at me.
Oh
Girlfriend
May girlfriend siya.
"Bakit?" tanong ko masking the disappointment inside my head. "She's jealous" he replied.
Buffled, I stopped dead on my tracks but quickly recovered and walked faster behind him. "Jealous? Kanino?" I query seeking for answer. Totally not me for all reasons.
"Sayo" he smirked brows furrowed. "Bakit ako?" I asked clearly confused. "May nakakita sa atin nung unang araw kita hinatid. They all thought me and you were something. Syempre lumilipad ang chismis" he implied.
Oh
I was rendered speechless. Why do I feel so disappointed and guilty at the same time? Why is he making me feel this way?
Why am I feeling so wierd about this?
"Hey, you promised" he nudged me "I'm not, napapaisip lang ako. Kung nagseselos siya sa akin, bakit yun pa yung hiningi mong kapalit?" I asked now curious.
He didn't answer, he just shrugged.
Why on earth is he so silent about this?
--
Iniba ko yung topic namin and now talking about something else. Nakasakay na kami ng jeep pauwi.
So he loves music, and a tennis player, a drummer, guitarist and bassist.
I totally forgot how much I love music because of that stupid gang I've entered myself into. Shame.
Hindi ko nga alam kung marunong pa akong kumanta eh. Nakakamiss din pala.
It wouldn't be possible for me to pay attention to what he is all saying. Nadidistract ako sa mga mata niya, sa labi niya, those gentle touches na hindi niya sinsadya minsan sa pag-aabot ng bayad.
Why am I so alert kung siya kausap ko? Oh my god
"Hoy nakikinig ka ba?" tanong niya sa akin. "Ah? Oo" I said nodding. What was he saying?
"As I was saying, mas gusto ang Maroon 5 kesa sa The Script. Mas live kasi minsan music nila eh" he said justifying why.
"I like them both. Magkaiba sila ng genre, yes. But I won't deny that both bands are really good" I said stating my opinion.
"Oh, malapit ka na. Magpara ka na" he urged me.
"Manong para po" I called and the jeepney came into a full stop. Bumaba kami ng jeep.
"Diba dun ka pa?" I asked. "Bakit ka bumaba?" I continued.
"Para makita ko na makakauwi ka ng maayos" he said smiling. "Sus, ang lapit lang oh" sabi ko. But honestly, I was so happy about it.
"Salamat" I thanked him. "No problemo. Like what I've said, just call...."
"My name and I'll be there" I finished his motto and heard him chuckle.
"Always" he said now serious.
--
Since that day, lagi na kaming magkasama. 2 weeks of laughter and happiness. He's different, he makes me feel important, special, beautiful, happy and loved.
I feel butterflies go haywire on my stomach. I blush around him.
Is it possible for him to want me too? Ganto rin ba nararamdaman niya pag kasama niya ako?
Be careful, you might get hurt. It isn't healthy for you to be that open to someone.
Does he know your past?
Does he know the old you?
Why you ended up here?
Can he accept you?
He has a good personality, good up bringing. Good background, and you?
What can you give? What can you offer? Be careful what you wish for, sometimes, it comes with a heavy prize.
She's right, I shouldn't be feeling this way towards him. But I can't help it.
Pano pag nalaman niya yung dating ako? Matatanggap pa kaya niya ako? Ofcourse I wouldn't tell him that, I'm scared.
He makes this place home.
I won't let any of my past take it away from me.
Caleb is also texting me, sabi niya gusto niya akong ligawan. Pumupunta siya sa school, nagbibigay ng kung ano ano. Every girl is drooling over him. Why me?
Why not them?
Ugh!!!!
I flipped on my side of the bed and stared at the ceiling. But then tried to close my eyes to clear my thoughts when my phone rang.
"Hello" I answered
"Hi Alexis" Caleb
Tinawag niya ako sa buong pangalan ko.
"Hello Caleb" Caleb
"Anong ginagawa mo?" he asked.
"Wala nakahiga lang" I said closing my eyes again.
"Sabado ngayon ah, bat di ka lalabas?"
"Nope. Tinatamad ako, ikaw ba wala kang gagawin?" I query and opened my eyes when I heard him sigh.
"Anything wrong?" I asked but regretted asking it. Bakit ba ako concern sa kanya?
Let him help you get out of that mess you put yourself into.
My subconscious suggested.
She's right, Caleb can help. I think.
"My mom and dad are filing a divorce" he said.
"Ay bakit?" I asked. I actually feel bad for him. Children don't deserve these kinds of problems.
Caleb don't deserve this.
"You wanna talk about it?" I asked kasi hindi siya sumagot nung tinanong ko kung bakit.
"No, I just want to......" he trailed off.
I stay quiet urging him to finish his sentence. Why does he always need to stop?
"Gusto ko lang makalimutan ng kahit konting oras lang tong problema ko. And I was hoping if you wanna go out with me?" tanong niya.
"Like a date?" I said chuckling.
"Yes, like a date" he said and I can see his face grinning.
"Okay then. Take the lead Caleb"
**