Baekhyun was standing five steps away from Park Chanyeol's office, with freshly printed advertising plans rustling in his slender hands.
Baekhyun didn't know what has gotten into him. A moment before, standing calmly in Jongin's office and watching the team leader print out the papers, he was burning with excitement. Finally he was going to get somewhere from the starting point. Finally he could ask things he wanted and learn about Chanyeol from himself, not somebody else. But now Baekhyun stood there, a hand reach away from the doorknob that separated him and the other man, and Baekhyun was afraid.
He was afraid of opening the door and understanding that he has no idea what to ask or what to say to the manager. Also, he was scared of Chanyeol yelling at him to get out as soon as he knocks, and saying that Baekhyun is no one but a mere employee who has no rights of stepping into the general manager's office. Or maybe even fear of tripping over his own feet crossed Baekhyun's mind at the spur of moment.
He was now just fully going into panick mode, and didn't know how to stop himself.
"Come on, Byun Baekhyun, get yourself together," Baekhyun murmured to himself angrily. "Just open the damn door and talk. That's the only thing you're good at, blabbering senselessly, so use it for a good purpose at leastonce."
Yet his feet remained glued to the same floor five steps away from the "damn door".
"Byun Baekhyun!" he hissed at himself and slammed the stack of papers at his forehead. "Ow!"
Blinded by the self-awarded ache right in between his eyes, Baekhyun felt the papers slip out of his hands and fly into the air freely. As he opened his eyes, the leaves were flying and landing all around the entrace of Chanyeol's office.
"Shit." Baekhyun murmured, and crouched down to get the papers back in his hold.
As he picked up half of the runaways, Baekhyun turned around to reach out for others, and his gaze met with a pair of shiny black leather shoes.
"What happened here?" a deep, husky voice asked, and Baekhyun's heart dropped to his stomach.
Of course it was going to be him.
Before Baekhyun's brain could even consider answering the taller's question, Park Chanyeol was already setting down his black briefcase down at the floor, and then he was crouching beside him. Calmly gathering the escaped leaves with his big hands, and settling them on his elbow neatly.
"Oh?" his eyes widened in surprise (quite adorably, really) when he saw the introductory page. "Jongin is done with advertising project already? He's fast."
Baekhyun's brain decided that then was a good moment to finally snap out of the daze, and the male collected himself quickly with embarassingly pink dusted cheeks.
"T-they're not done yet." he stuttered, and cursed himself mentally for that. "I have to discuss them with you, general manager, and bring them back to team leader."
Chanyeol's big eyes met his again, and Baekhyun was begging internally for him to avert his gaze somewhere else quickly, because one second more and Baekhyun was going to need an ambulance. Nerves were killing him.
"Oh." Chanyeol nodded, and stood up, reaching out a hand to help Baekhyun.
Baekhyun stared at it for a second like a complete idiot, and then finally dared to reach out his own.
Chanyeol's twice wider and bigger palm completely covered his kind of scrawny one, and Baekhyun felt himself being pulled up with considerate amount of strength. He was already standing in a second, and Chanyeol didn't even blink at the 60 kilos of weight he had just pulled casually with one hand. He was standing there, unaffected and emotionless as always.
"Thank you." Baekhyun bowed, and tried not to let himself think about how much of a fool he had just made himself in front of the general manager of PKO.
"Your welcome." Chanyeol told him, and reached out to give back the papers he gathered. "Come on in, then."
Baekhyun followed the taller into the office, and all that time his hands were gripping tightly onto the papers he held in his embrace. His heart was beating fast, his head was dizzy, and he had absolutely nothing in his mind as he sat down on the other side of Chanyeol's desk, and met the gaze of the man himself.
"So, we're supposed to look this through?" Chanyeol asked, pointing at the leaves that were pressed against Baekhyun's chest. "Or I just have to read it and mark my notes?"
"No, we have to discuss it, general manager." Baekhyun said, and pushed the papers at Chanyeol.
This was a good time for him to pull himself together and get into the character, for God's sake. He was going to be full of life and brave, not stuttering and embarassingly awkward like he was now. So, while Chanyeol was running his eyes through the text and focusing on the flaws, Baekhyun was gathering his mind together and preparing himself for the mission.
"Well, overall it's pretty good." Chanyeol finally said, and Baekhyun looked up at him. "I'm honestly not sure why Jongin would need my advice on his advertising plans, he's ten times better at this field than I am. But I suggest he puts some more thought into the Chinese advertisements, because they look slightly dull. And that's about it."
He was about to give papers back to Baekhyun, when the latter shook his head frantically.
"If I may," Baekhyun prayed desperately in his thoughts that these words wouldn't be the last ones he said in PKO. "I'd like to say something about those plans, general manager. If I'm not being rude."
Chanyeol tilted his head, surprised, but it didn't look like he was mad. At least he wasn't throwing Baekhyun out or scoffing at his words.
"Okay." the taller then agreed easily.
Nervous, Baekhyun breathed in, and gathered the courage to look into Chanyeol's eyes.
Damn it, he was handsome. Just Baekhyun's type, too. Those puppy-like brown eyes, squishy cheeks, plump lips. And not only that, let's not forget his height, strength and -
EYES ON THE MISSION, BYUN BAEKHYUN.
"Well, general manager, I honestly think this whole plan needs to be re-thought. It's too similar to the old ones." Baekhyun stated with a calm voice, although he was anything but calm. "People get tired of similarity in advertising, and they don't even pay attention anymore. If we want to be noticed, we have to be notable. Different."
And as Baekhyun said the last word, he was actually praising himself for sounding at least a bit reasonable.
"And to be honest, team leader said he was out of ideas." Baekhyun then created a lie at the spot nonchalantly, noting in his mind to warn Jongin about it later. "And he said that I could try myself out in this if I wanted, but with a help from someone higher. Someone who knows everything about the company and it's history. Which is no one else but you, general manager."
Chanyeol listened to him speak carefully. He didn't show emotions, didn't laugh at the absurdity of Baekhyun's words, he just listened. As if Baekhyun's words were as worthy as his own, as if Baekhyun was an equal. And that didn't fail to make Baekhyun's heart skip a beat.
Park Chanyeol was indeed admirable. He never looked down on anyone.
"I see." the taller calmly said when Baekhyun stopped talking. "I understand, Baekhyun sshi."
Now it was Baekhyun's time to widen his eyes. Did Park Chanyeol actually remember his name? Even having heard it only once? Woah.
"I trust Jongin's decisions whole-heartedly, and I kind of understand why he hired you as well. Yet he could have told me himself that he was lacking inspiration." Chanyeol sighed heavily. "Okay, let's do so. If you create something better than Jongin's plan in two months, Baekhyun sshi, I will personally make you in charge of the advertising field. More specifically, you can be the advertising manager."
Baekhyun's lips parted in awe. He could not believe his own ears. Was his plan actually working?.. Was Chanyeol going to let him be there and ask him stuff?
"And I will help you with the questions you will have." Chanyeol approved Baekhyun's thoughts as he turned to his computer and turned it on. "So you can ask whatever you want."
Oh, don't worry, I will.
"Of course, general manager." Baekhyun nodded.
He then couldn't help but let his lips curl up into a smile.
"Okay, then." Chanyeol glanced at him, and strangely, his gaze stayed on the shorter male longer than it should have.
There was a thing about Baekhyun's smile. It was like a ray of sunshine in the middle of a clouded rainy day, when nobody is expecting the light to come. That smile was just as unexpected, yet so warming and beautiful. So beautiful, that Chanyeol couldn't make himself to turn his eyes away from it now.
"I will be going then, general manager." Baekhyun stood up and bowed at Chanyeol, still smiling. "And I will come when I have more questions to ask you. Probably quite soon."
"S-sure." Chanyeol nodded, and turned away.
He couldn't let Baekhyun see the disappointment on his face. But wait, why was he suddenly disappointed? Because Baekhyun is leaving?
Might be so.
It has been a while since someone smiled so genuinely and happily at him. Actually, he had a hard time remembering anyone smile at him like that for the last few years. And seeing Baekhyun smile like that to him felt..nice. Soothing. As if he wasn't that alone in the end.
"Goodbye for now, general manager." Baekhyun lastly said before opening the door and stepping out.
When the door behind the new employee's back closed, Chanyeol leaned back on his chair and sighed. No, he couldn't let himself wish to see Baekhyun's smile. No matter how much it soothed him or made him feel happy. It was a distraction, distraction from work which he had to do, the work that was the purpose of his living.
He couldn't allow himself anything but work.
With a heavy sigh, Chanyeol gathered his attention once again and turned to his computer. Although the memory of a certain brown-haired man's smile still retutned to him unwillingly everytime he closed his eyes.
***
Exhausted after a long day, Jongin turned the keys in the lock, and, lightly turning the knob, opening the door to his apartment.
As always, it was dark and silent, no one else but him residing in the whole flat. The lights turned on automatically. Since was a wealthy man's place, it was spacious and had more than four rooms, but Jongin lived here alone. He had moved in right after graduation, when he was promised a permanent place in PKO, and since then, he was staying there. All alone.
Jongin walked inside, took off his shoes and placed them beside the door, so that he wouldn't have to search for them in the morning. It was one of the neat habits he managed to train himself into. Honestly, he wasn't the tidiest person in the world - some of his clothes were scattered here and there, and he had always failed to convince himself to wash the dishes right after his meals - but he was tidy enough. His apartment was always clean of dust, and in the end he lived quite neatly for a guy.
After quickly putting some water into the pot, Jongin set it to boil and at that time checked his e-mail. Working in a place like PKO meant you had to be reachable at any minute, and especially if you were someone in charge of other employees. Luckily, there were no new letters, so Jongin could loosen his tie and finally get out of the uncomfortable dark blue jacket he wore to work.
He took a shower while his ramyun boiled on low heat, and got out of the bathroom wearing a lose t-shirt and sweatpants he always wore at home. It was not like anyone could see him anyways. So everyday when Jongin got home, he could take off the mask of a competent team leader, and go back to his simple and lonely 23-year-old self. The young and desperate guy, spending his youth in this dark, silent flat.
When it was done, Jongin ate a bit of his ramyun, but since he ate it almost every night, he soon got sick and threw half of the bowl away into the trashcan. With the unnatural and spicy taste still lingering in his mouth, the male decided to make himself a cup of tea to get rid of it. He picked mint-flavoured tea and filled one of his tea cups with hot water. Jongin then carried his tea to the living room and settled it on the coffee table, while he himself sat down on the couch to listen to some relaxing music.
As soon as Jongin's fingertips found the remote control, soft and calming notes of Debussy's Clair de lune filled the room. It was one of the songs Jongin played every night when he got back to his apartment and didn't know how to get rid of his sadness. Music helped him to fill the silence that this empty apartment was always drowning in, and it also helped him to remember. To remember Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo loved Clair de lune. He was always playing it on his phone, and humming to it as he walked or did his homework. It was one of his most- favourited songs, so of course it was accompanying him everywhere the boy went and whatever he did. And whenever Jongin was trying to say he had enough of Debussy and this song which's title he couldn't even remember then, Kyungsoo would always say he-
Stop, Jongin said to himself, and closed his eyes tiredly. Don't do this, Jongin. Just stop.
He knew that Chanyeol would glare or even scold him for thinking about Kyungsoo. And maybe he was right for doing that. But Jongin couldn't, just couldn't get Kyungsoo out of his mind, more importantly, his heart. He was there for good, and even if Kyungsoo was no longer there with him, hugging him or smiling up at him with those heart-shaped lips of his, Jongin loved him. And he always will, no matter what.
So why was he running away from his memories? He was screwed and inlove anyway. And Chanyeol couldn't see him now. He wouldn't know. And Jongin wants, he wants so badly to return to the past at least for a second. So, with the background filled of soft and gentle notes, Jongin's thoughts slowly drifted away to that one unexpectedly warm day in October six years ago..
The strap of his backpack was really getting on Jongin's nerves.
He was already ten minutes late to his class, yet Jongin was still running along the side-walk another ten minutes away from his highschool. Meddling with his backpack, cursing it's damned strap that picked just this moment to rip in half, angry frown- he was a typical seventeen-year-old.
It was the beginning of October, the green leaves on the trees had already turned yellow and orange, and the ones who reached the ground were already torn into muddy brown shreds and carried around on people's shoes. The things girls carried around were no longer sunglasses, but colourful and bright umbrellas. T-shirts were switched to coats, flip-flops changed to sneakers, and summer was already gone. Autumn was here.
Jongin ran along, holding the top of his backpack in a fist, and raking his fingers through his hair. Some passers-by followed him with their eyes indifferently, some girls sighed at the sight of a such handsome young man running past them, and others didn't even spare a glance. Jongin was used to everything - from being stared at to being ignored. He took all kinds of treatments in the highschool which's last year he was in. So he just ran, ran, until his eyes caught onto something, or rather someone on the other side of the street, and he slowed down.
It was a boy, a lot shorter than himself, yet seemingly close to his age. Cute one. He was also carrying a backpack on his shoulders, crouching a little, and holding a stack of books pressed firmly against his chest. The top book of the stack was open, and the boy was trying to read at the same time as he was walking. Stupidly.
But it was not him reading that caught Jongin's eyes, and left him alarmed. It was the boy's right sneaker, that's shoelace was untied and dangling around. And furthermore, a bicyclist metres away, who was staring at his phone while riding and going dangerously fast. Right towards the boy, whose attention was still on his books.
Jongin saw the disaster coming, and he was not going to let it happen right in front of his eyes. Not caring about his own safety, the seventeen-year-old jumped out into the street, while the traffic lights were on the last flashes of green, and fled to the boy's side. The bicyclist was already steps away, earphones stuffed into his ears, and eyes still not moving from the screen.
The boy was walking on, not noticing anything around, when suddenly Jongin appeared at his side and threw his arms around him. Since the boy's arms were full of books, the taller couldn't grab his wrist or at least shoulders to move him away from the danger. So, in the rush of the moment, Jongin thought about nothing, and captured the shorter boy's waist to pull him away from the bicyclist's path. He pulled him to his side, and the byciclist drove past.
The two guys stumbled and Jongin fell backwards, feeling the other boy and books fall together with him as well. He closed his eyes, praying not to get hit square in the eye by the corner of some damn book, and waited for the painful collision of his back and the hard asphalt.
And it came.
"Shit!" a painful yelp escaped Jongin's mouth.
Somewhere beside him, Jongin also heard a tiny yelp, and a minute later he realised he was still holding the other boy, arms still wrapped around his tiny waist securely. His pain-clouded mind managed to wonder why the boy was so small and how old he actually was. Is it possible he just saved a middle-school kiddo? The boy looked older from the back...
"Oh my God, are you two okay?!" Jongin heard someone ask, and opened his eyes.
Some ahjumma was looking at them worriedly, and looked like she was about to call the ambulance.
Jongin sat up, pushing the other boy's back to sit up as well, and smiled dizzily at the older woman.
"We're okay, ahjumma. Don't worry."
The shorter boy squirmed against Jongin's chest and quickly stood up, face dyed in all shades of red.
"Be more careful then, kids." ahjumma nodded, turned around and walked away, sometimes looking back.
The passers-by turned spectators, seeing that no one was hurt, looked away as well and continued walking their own ways. Jongin pushed himself up on his heels, gathered the books back in a stack, and looked up at the shorter male.
"Hey, idiot."
The boy turned to look at him with wide, huge eyes, and Jongin felt his heart flutter in surprise.
Damn, this boy was down right beautiful. Pale, almost white skin, dark, big eyes, heart-shaped lips. Did he just save a model?
"D-don't ever do that again!" Jongin scolded the boy, trying to look cool and angry at the same time. "That bicyclist could have run over you in a blink of eye! You could have been handicapped for life!"
The boy just listened, all pale and seemingly scared, watching Jongin scold him with huge eyes. He didn't say anything back, didn't defend himself and didn't even move an inch away. Just listened.
"Shit." Jongin cursed as he stood up and dusted his blue jeans. "You're one big idiot, man, I tell you that. You can't even tie your shoelaces right, huh?"
The boy didn't answer, but his gaze shifted to his shoes. It looked like his eyes widened even more (if it was possible), as if he was surprised his shoelace could be untied. And even that act of his left Jongin's heart fluttering and confused once again.
Before the boy could move or do something, Jongin had crouched down once again, and reached out his hands to catch the escaped shoelace. He felt the boy move in uncertainity and startle, but, allowing himself to grab the smaller's ankle, Jongin stilled him.
"Stop moving." he murmured, and tied the shoelace back in place.
He could feel the beautiful boy's questioning stare burn his back. He himself didn't exactly know what he was doing. But all he knew was that, even though his back ached like hell, Jongin was glad he was here at this moment. Glad to have helped this beautiful stranger.
"There." Jongin said, and stood up once again, right in front of the pale boy. "Learn to tie your shoes, and look at the road, okay?"
The boy just looked up at him, and Jongin forced himself to look away as he walked around the boy and ran off to the school. His heart was beating furiously against his chest, sending tingles to the very ends of his fingertips, and making him feel light. Something in this unexpected meeting was just... unforgetable. Maybe it was because he just saved a person from being run over? Yeah, must be it..
Jongin forced himself to forget the beautiful boy and his huge eyes as he entered the classroom and got scolded by the teacher. He bowed, apologised, and then immediately looked through the students to find his best friend. There he was - crouched in the very back seat, Chanyeol was looking at him with his chin burried in his palm, and his backpack resting on the seat beside him. Jongin smirked, and made it's way towards his table.
"You're a month and half-an-hour late, you know." Chanyeol said to him, not angry, not disappointed, just Chanyeol-ish.
"Sorry." Jongin smiled at him. "I missed you, Yeollie. How was the school?"
"Nothing too special. How was your vacation in America?"
"Four months from June to October, a month taken away from the school year - of course it was awesome, how do you think."
"Mr. Park, Mr. Kim, would you please keep it down till the break? It's only ten minutes away." the teacher grumbled, and the boys bowed at her apologetically.
Till the end of the lesson, the two of them just threw each other meaningful glances, but otherwise didn't talk. Jongin ached to tell Chanyeol about the boy he met in the morning, and ask if it was possible to know which school he was going to. Not that Jongin would want to meet him or anything. Just theoretically speaking.
Okay, he might kind of want that. Just a bit.
"I want to see all of your classwork and homework done! Tomorrow!" the teacher warned everyone when the bell rang, and students unitedly groaned.
"Hey, Yeol." Jongin tapped on his best friend's shoulder, and waited for the latter to turn at him. "Something happened to me today..."
"Oh, and everyone, please listen to Kyungsoo for a second, he has something to say about the school festival."
"What happened?" Chanyeol asked, as the teacher left the classroom, and the class president stepped in front of the students. Jongin didn't know who was picked as the class president, and he didn't care. So he didn't even turn to look at him. He just opened his mouth to tell his friend the story.
"So, I was running late today, and right beside the school-"
"Good morning!" a gentle voice of the class president interrupted Jongin again, and he turned around to glare at the guilty one in annoyance.
His eyes met with the same pale, beautiful boy he saved, and he was standing in front of him with his school's jacket on his shoulders and the same tie. The same white shirt that Jongin was wearing. And also the same pants.
"What the actual f-"
"So, I won't take much of your time," the boy said shyly, and rubbed his nape. "I just want to ask everyone, who is interested in helping out in preparations for school's festival, to come here to this classroom at 5 PM. We will talk about what we're going to do and-"
"Oh shut up, Kyungie. You're annoying.." some girl said over her shoulder hatefully, and continued chatting with her friends.
Nobody cared about the boy, nobody even turned their heads to answer him. Jongin stared at his classmates in disgust and horror. How could they treat someone like that? Wasn't he even human in their eyes?
Jongin was about to stand up and tell his classmates off, but as he turned his head, he noticed the boy was already gone.
"Damn it." he muttered silently.
"What is it?" Chanyeol asked him, surprised at his friend's strange behaviour.
"Who was that?"
"Kyungsoo? He's new here, entered in September." Chanyeol said as he leaned back on his chair and swayed his legs. "We get along pretty well, actually. I ate all my lunch with him while you were gone."
"Kyungsoo?" Jongin repeated. That was his name. So soft, so fitting to be his. "So he's the new class president?"
"Yeah. And don't be mistaken, he's really nice. He's not cocky like Seunghyun was."
"Kyungsoo." Jongin once again repeated the boy's name absent-mindedly.
"Let's go eat lunch. I'll introduce you to him." Chanyeol said, and stood up.
Jongin stared at his best friend for a second, lost in doubts. It was going to be awkward. And embarassing as hell. Not to mention that he called the boy idiot, mocked him and then walked off just like that. Hm, not the best way to start a friendship.
But did he want to do it? Meet Kyungsoo again?
Jongin pushed himself up from the chair and smiled at Chanyeol as the taller threw him a questioning look. The two of them walked out of the classroom, and Jongin was smiling to himself, because he was so sure.
He did. He really did.
Jongin didn't even realise his knees were now in front of him, and that he was hugging them close to his chest. The last notes of the song had sounded, and he was overwhelmed. The memories were still so alive, so fresh in his mind, as if he had just met Kyungsoo yesterday.
A lonely tear made it's way down Jongin's cheek, and he realised he had been crying for long. Yet he didn't even feel it.
Lonely tears turned into sobs, unnoticed crying turned into sorrow of the heart, and Jongin crouched, hugging himself as tightly as he could. Seeking any kind of company, any kind of warmth, any way of escaping loneliness. He was so alone, and he needed Kyungsoo.
So much.
When his sobs finally died down, Jongin opened the small notebook Chanyeol gave him when he just moved in. His best friend asked him to mark it everytime he thought of Kyungsoo. And Jongin did, although he never intented to show it to Chanyeol or anyone. If Chanyeol asked, he would just lie.
Jongin opened the notebook, and flipped through the pages, all filled with just one word, repeated for a thousand times. He found the ending of his own made endless labyrinth of words, and scribbled down the same word once more.
He pulled away from the notebook, and all of the words molded into one - because in the end they were one, just split into a thousand of pieces - and Jongin read it to himself, feeling the ache in his heart sharpen once again.
보고싶다*
"If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing.
If you don't have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it's not enough."
-Ann Landers
*I miss you
______________
I hope you guys are enjoying this the way I do :)
i wanted to ask you something, there's this other chanbaek fanfic that's really really good and I was wondering if you guys would want me to post it here, on Wattpad, solet me know in the comments pls
annyeooong~~