"Leah!" I heard a bloodcurdling scream pierce through the air.
This was not something I wanted to wake up to on a Sunday morning.
In the next second, my sister was bursting through the door and I nearly fell out of bed. First Elias, and now Morgan. Great.
"What is it?" I grumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. "What do you want, Morgan?"
My sister was supposed to be leaving today. Was that why she was freaking out, or was it for some other ridiculous reason?
She did this all the time, when we were younger. Ranting and raving and screaming about something that wasn't even important. So now, I wasn't exactly worried.
"Is this a plus or a minus to you?" she demanded, shoving something into my face.
Through my blurry morning vision, I couldn't tell what it was, so I grabbed onto it and took it from her. I felt my hand immediately grow wet.
I then realized it was a pregnancy test.
"Is that a plus or a minus?" my sister repeated. But I couldn't focus on that right then.
"I'm touching your pee."
My sister rolled her eyes at me. "Honestly, Leah."
"My hand is wet from your pee."
She now snatched the test out of my hand. "Well, then go wash your hands and then tell me if this is a plus or a minus!"
I shuffled all the way into the bathroom and scrubbed at my hands for a good five minutes, my older sister glaring at me impatiently from the doorway.
She now held the pregnancy test up for me to look at. "Once again," she sighed. "Does this look like a plus or a minus?"
I stated at the little plus or minus intently. To me... it looked like a minus. So I told her.
She bit her lip. "Well, it's a good thing I bought four different types."
I jumped away from the counter when I turned to see three other pregnancy tests that had already been used and were waiting for my sister to look at the results. How could someone even produce all that pee at one time?
Morgan ignored my jumpy reaction and checked the other tests. She frowned when she saw what they said.
"All are negative," she sighed, plopping down on the closed toilet and dumping all the pregnancy tests in the trash. I didn't know if that was the best idea, considering my mother might have found them and start questioning me, but I didn't say this out loud. "Damn it!"
I didn't know what I was supposed to say. Sometimes I forgot that Morgan wasn't a teenager anymore and was actually married, so at first I was surprised that she wanted to get pregnant so badly.
I sat down on the rim of the tub awkwardly, not saying a word. How was I supposed to comfort someone who was upset about not being pregnant?
I remembered when Morgan had been afraid that she was pregnant during her senior year, and I calmed her down pretty easily then. Of course, she then found out that she wasn't pregnant, so it was all alright.
And then there was Cassie. In our sophomore year, she thought she was pregnant, and she sobbed in my arms for hours before we found out that she really wasn't pregnant. She never told me who the father could have been.
My eyes widened when I saw that Morgan was now crying. She really wanted to get pregnant badly. How long had she been trying for?
"I'm sorry, Morgan," I frowned, reaching out and holding onto her hand. "This must be really important to you."
She nodded, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. "Yeah," she sniffed. "It's just something that Kyle and I really want, you know?"
I understood. It wasn't like I knew what she meant from experience, but I could understand why she would be upset. This was obviously something she wanted more than anything.
"I wanted to find out before we left," she informed me now. "Because if I was pregnant, I'd want you and mom and dad to all know right away. But since... since they were all negative, there really was no point, huh?"
I frowned. I really had no idea what I was supposed to say to her. She just seemed so broken, and it made me feel absolutely horrible. I didn't know what it was like to really want a baby and not get one after trying so many times, but... I was sure it must have felt terrible.
"But what if Kyle or I just can't have kids?" she whimpered now, and I could tell that this was something that she was really worried about. "What am I going to do? We both want kids so badly, but we've been trying and trying and nothing's happened!"
I now clutched onto both of her hands. "It's going to be okay, alright?" I told her. I really wanted her to stop crying before I started. I had always been the baby, not the other way around. Morgan had always been so much stronger than I was. "You'll be able to have a baby. But even if you can't, I know you and Kyle will be able to get through it. Because you love each other more than anything."
My sister now sniffed, pulling her hands away from mine so she could wipe at her eyes. She looked so scared, so vulnerable. It was something I hadn't ever seen before. When she had been dating Kyle in high school and she fought my parents about it, she never shed a tear. She was strong and yelled back at them confidently. But this was something that really scared her.
"Well, I better go tell Kyle that it's a no," she sighed, pushing herself up off the toilet and toward the door. "I told him I wanted to be alone for this, so he's downstairs."
I nodded, following my sister out of the bathroom and toward the stairs. Kyle was on the couch downstairs, watching TV rather anxiously. He was obviously waiting to hear what news his wife had to say.
"So?" he asked, an excited smile growing on his face as he saw his wife make her way down the stairs. "What did they say?"
Morgan was frowning. "Negative. All of them."
Kyle's smile immediately deteriorated. I felt so bad for them. They wanted a baby more than anything, but they just weren't getting one.
"Well, we'll just have to keep trying, then," Kyle shrugged, and I couldn't help but make a face. I didn't want to think about them doing anything together. "We won't let this get us down! We have all our lives ahead of us."
He might have been talking positively, but he looked just as disappointed as Morgan was. But he wasn't about to show it, because I knew he didn't want to worry her.
"Okay, we should go now," Morgan informed her husband, who now flipped the TV off. "We'll be back in a couple of months for a visit!"
I followed both her and Kyle out to their car and helped them place their belongings inside. Morgan looked like she hadn't been crying at all, and I was kind of impressed by this. When I cried, it took me a while to look like I hadn't been.
"It's a shame that we have to leave," she sighed as she threw her suitcase uncaringly into the back of her car. "But it was a lot of fun."
I smiled at her. "Yeah, it was."
"We'll be back for your show," she assured me now as she made her way toward the passenger's seat. "I can't wait to see you as Sandy!"
I sure could. Being in a musical was nerve wracking.
I now turned toward Kyle once he was finished packing the car. "See you, kid," he smiled, wrapping his arms around my shoulders in a tight hug. "Make sure you take care of my stupid brother!"
When he pulled away from me, I opened my mouth to tell him that Derrick and I weren't really dating. Morgan cut me off before I could say anything. "He knows you two aren't really together," she informed me, so I closed my mouth once again.
Kyle shrugged. "Someone needs to take care of that idiot," he said simply. "Now that he and Leslie broke up, he needs a new babysitter. Of course, I don't think anyone could watch him as well as she did."
I couldn't help but agree. Derrick and Leslie were complete opposites from each other, especially before they had started dating. Derrick was with a different girl all the time, and Leslie had no one. After they started dating, Derrick stopped seeing other girls. Even after they broke up he didn't go off with any other girls.
"I'll make sure to take good care of him," I assured with a nod.
My sister and her husband then got into their car, and the engine started. "Goodbye!" she called out to me as she waved out the window. I waved back to her. When they were out of sight, I let out a long sigh. They had been around for so long that it was going to be strange without them there. The house was going to be so... empty.
I didn't feel like going back into my big, lonely house. My dad was at work and my mom was out with friends, so I would have been all alone, and that was the last thing I wanted.
So I decided to go to Blake's. Since it was Sunday, he didn't have anything planned, so it could have just been a day for the two of us. And after what he did with Mona the day before, I really wanted to see him and thank him.
So I got into my car and made my way to Blake's, just like I normally did whenever I wanted to surprise him. It was a little early in the morning, but I was sure he was awake by now. And if I woke him up, then we could go back to sleep together.
I knocked on the door once I got up to it, but he didn't come to answer it. I knocked one more time, and he finally answered it right before I could knock a third time.
He obviously hadn't just woken up, but I could tell that he had just gotten up. His hair was messy and his clothes were wrinkled. He looked adorable.
"Leah?" He blinked, his eyes going wide. "Why are you here?"
Honestly, there was no big reason. I just wanted to see him.
But now, Blake looked strange. He didn't have the usual look of surprise he had whenever I came over without telling him, and he didn't look scared like the time I had shown up and Mona was here. He almost looked... terrified.
"Is Carrie here?" I questioned, ready to throw myself down the stairs to hide from her. "Or your dad?"
Of course, I could always explain to whoever was there that that I was just visiting my friend, but I didn't know if anyone would believe me or not. I didn't think anyone really trusted Blake and I alone together.
But before he could even answer me, a new voice rang out, "Who's at the door, Blake?"
At the sound of this voice, I froze. What was she doing here so early in the morning? What was she doing here at all? And why was she coming down the hallway from Blake's room?
Mona blinked when she saw me. "Oh, hi, Leah," she greeted. "What are you doing here?"
Like she had any right to ask me.
This wasn't like it had been when I visited him for his birthday weeks before. Then, Mona's hair and makeup was done. Then, she was fully clothed in a cute green top and blue jeans. Now, her hair was messy and her makeup was smudged. She was wearing one of Blake's shirts that was wrinkled from her sleeping in it.
Was that the same shirt Blake was wearing the day before? It looked like it. But I couldn't know for sure. I couldn't tell through my tears.
"Leah..." was all he was able to say before I took off toward the stairs. I couldn't deal with this right now. I couldn't deal with him, I couldn't deal with Mona, and I couldn't deal with this whole situation.
Blake ran after me without a second thought, leaving Mona behind in the apartment alone. I hoped she was smart enough not to follow us.
Being more athletic than I was, he was able to catch up with me just as my foot hit the bottom step of the stairs. He grabbed onto my arm and didn't let go.
"I can't believe you," I sobbed, unable to control it. "I can't believe you'd do something like this to me! After everything we've been through! After everything you've said!"
Blake shook his head almost urgently. "Leah, nothing happened between Mona and me."
"That's why she came out of your room," I spat. "That's why she was wearing your clothes just like I did after we... after we..."
I couldn't talk about this. I felt my entire world crashing around me.
"We need to break up," I told him, completely serious through my tears.
"Leah, please, listen to me," he pleaded, and his grip on my arm tightened. It wasn't to hurt me, it was because he was panicking. "It's not what it looks like!"
Wasn't that the excuse everyone used?
"Sure it's not what it looked like!" I shouted back at him now, ripping my arm from his grasp. "Why would she be in your apartment, Blake? Why would you even let her into your apartment after everything she's said and done? She still likes you! Still loves you, even! Why would you let her in your apartment, even if you didn't do anything?"
Blake's eyes were so sad. He looked like he could have cried just as hard as me at any moment. But I really hoped he wouldn't, because I didn't know how I'd react to it.
"Nothing happened," he assured.
My eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you."
He ran a hand through his hair. "Leah..."
"She's wearing the shirt you wore yesterday," I whimpered, scrubbing at my eyes now with the back of my hand. "You think I don't know what happened? She's wearing the shirt that you were wearing yesterday!"
The day before, Blake had been wearing grey V-neck. That was what Mona was wearing now.
"No, she's not," he told me, shaking his head. "That's just another shirt of mine that looks like the one I wore yesterday. I swear. If you want me to, I'll go get the shirt I wore yesterday to prove it to you."
I shook my head, taking a step away from him. "No. I don't want to see it."
If I did, I would have just continued on crying even more. I just wanted to go home. I wished I hadn't ever seen this, but I was glad that I did. Because I was sure Blake wouldn't have told me if I didn't catch him. And then I would be living a lie.
"I dropped Mona off at her house after the pizza parlor, but then she got into a fight with her step-mom, so she came over," Blake explained to me now. "I let her sleep in my bed, and I slept on the couch. We never slept together. Not in the sexual way, and not in the actual way."
"The bed..." I gulped, fighting back more tears. "The bed where we..."
The bed where we slept. Where we talked. Where we...
"Leah," he sighed. "I did nothing with her. We slept in different rooms. I wouldn't even think about hurting you. I love you."
I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears. Why did I have to cry?
"You still let her stay even though you know how much she still likes you!" Blake looked like he had no idea what he was supposed to do as I yelled at him. I wasn't surprised. "You know how badly she wants to get back together with you, and you still let her in!"
That was what angered me the most. He told Mona that he wasn't interested, but then he let her sleep in his bed. That was definitely a mixed signal.
Blake was just too nice. And I couldn't date someone who was too nice. Because then I would be the one that ended up hurt, just like right then.
"I didn't do anything with her," he assured me now, but that didn't take any of the pain away. "Please, Leah. Please believe me."
I took a deep breath. "I do believe you."
And I did. I did believe that he didn't do anything with Mona, but that didn't mean we would have the same outcome the next time this happened. Next time, something might have actually happened between the two of them. And I was sure that there would be a next time.
Blake let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I don't know what I would do if—"
"We need to break up, Blake."
"But..." He swallowed hard. "You said you believed me."
"I do. But... maybe everyone was right," I whimpered, another tear sliding down my check. "Maybe we are unhealthy. Maybe we're not meant to be together."
Blake took a step toward me, the hurt evident on his face. "Don't say that."
"No, I have to!" I shouted, stepping away from him when he reached out for me. "Everyone says we're unhealthy. We've refused to admit it. Have we just been delusional this whole time?"
"I know what delusional is," he muttered, his voice low. "That's not what we are."
"It doesn't matter what we were," I whispered, but then forced myself to get louder. "What matters now is that I see it. I agree with them."
"No, you don't. You're just upset."
"And I have the right to be upset!" I screamed, stomping my foot. "Even if you didn't do anything with her! Do you think I wanted to see her in your apartment wearing your shirt like you guys just got out of bed together? I don't! I hate it!"
Before Mona, I never had to worry about another girl ruining our relationship. There was a time when I had been jealous of Jane, but that was before I knew who she really was and before Blake and I had even gotten together. Before Mona, we only had to worry about guys interfering, like Sean or Derrick. Even Mr. Meyers. Back then, I couldn't even imagine how it would feel to be jealous or worried over someone.
"Leah..."
"Just accept it, Blake," I practically croaked. "Now you won't have the burden of dating me."
Blake looked at me incredulously. "You're not a burden!"
"You've sure acted like I am!" I felt sick to my stomach, but I wasn't going to let this stop me. Even if I threw up, I wasn't going to change my mind. "You've blown me off for Mona, as if she's your girlfriend!"
"Babe—"
"Don't call me that!" I screamed again. I couldn't believe him! "You should know better than anyone how much I hate being called that! What happened to you? Do you even notice how much you've changed? What happened to you?"
He said nothing.
"We need to break up," I repeated, quieter now.
Blake shook his head, taking a step toward me and reaching out for me. "Please, no," he pleaded, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opened them up again and looked at me, they were filled with tears. "I love you. Please, please, don't leave me."
I bit my lip. "Blake..."
"I'll do anything," he told me now, grabbing onto my hand and placing it on his chest, right over his heart. "I'll do anything you want. I'll go and kick Mona out. I'll never talk to her again. Please, Leah, please don't leave me."
I shook my head, blinking back even more tears. "Stop it..."
"I love you more than anything." He was looking right at me, but I couldn't look at him. It hurt too much. Hearing him choke over his words was hard enough. "You're the reason my heart beats. You're the air I breathe. You're everything I could have ever hoped for. You've changed my life for the better. You loved me through all my faults, even after you found out how screwed up I am. You're perfect. You're perfect for me. You're beautiful, and understanding, and an amazing person, and... and I'm a monster. I can't imagine my life without you."
"It's for the best," I told him.
He wouldn't let me tug my hand away. "No, it's not."
I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to break up with him. But I had to. It was for the best. Everyone as right. We really were unhealthy, and secretly dating was just making us even unhealthier.
"Don't leave me," was his final plea.
"I'm sorry, Blake," I sniffed, taking a step away from him, pulling my hand away from him. "But it's over. It has to be. Goodbye."
And I took off before he could stop me. But now, he didn't run after me. He just stood there, watching me go, and once I was gone, he punched the wall so hard that it left a dent. Then he collapsed down onto one of the steps, his head in his hands.
Now we were both sobbing not too far from each other. I was in my car, and he was on the stairs. We were so close, yet so far.
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This is the chapter I've been waiting to write ever since I started writing this book. >xD
Thanks so much to ohsnapizari for telling me about the song on the side! It's like ridiculously perfect for this chapter. I remember watching the movie when it first came out and this was, like, my favorite song from it. Other than Bet on It. :3
Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FAN! <3