"Mom," Fabian says as he pours her another glass of wine. "everything okay?"
"Y-Yeah," she wipes her eyes and drinks the wine rather quickly.
"Cecilia, what'd you do?" Fabian glares at me.
"What?" I furrow my eyebrows. "so this is my fault?"
"You fucked up our father so might as well be thinking about fucking up our mother now."
"Fabian-"
"No, actually it's that Jamie guy that you're fucking," Fabian interrupts our mom.
"Screw you," I snap. "at least I actually have respect for the people I've slept with."
"Yeah right."
"Fabian, stop it," my mom yells at him and I drink the rest of my wine like its a shot of tequila. Tequila would be nice right now. "leave her alone."
I stand up from the table and walk to the front door, calling a cab to come pick me up since I haven't gotten back into driving yet. At least my leg is healed enough so that I don't need the crutches anymore. My mom steps into the room toward me and sighs.
"Cecilia," she motions me to come over to her. I walk over and wrap my arms around her. "I'm so sorry he is acting like this. I'm glad you told your boyfriend about your father. He deserves to know the deepest parts of you." Boyfriend.
"Thanks for understanding, mom," I smile and notice Fabian in the doorway to the kitchen and he grumbles. I then roll my eyes and pull away from my mom, noticing the cab car pulling up to my mom's house. "I'll see you soon, I promise." I flip off my brother and kiss my mother's forehead, stepping out of the house. Once I seat myself in the cab, I tell him to drive me to a bar. Probably a bad decision on my part but at this point, I couldn't care less.
The cab driver tries to ask me why I want to go to a bar so desperately but I pretend to ignore him, feeling awkward about his presence. I stare out the window at the gloomy sky and the tension I've felt ever since getting shot is insane.
Once the guy pulls up to the bar, I let out a sigh of relief and tip the driver and step out of the cab. I mess up my hair a bit to try to give it some volume and my inner high schooler-or as Smitty would call it, hoe-kicks in. Or maybe that's just the excessive amounts of wine that I drank at my mom's talking. Either way, it's back.
I make my way to the bar and lean over the counter, showing my cleavage off to the bartender. What the hell am I doing?
I grab a twenty out from between my boobs and hand it to the guy, asking for the strongest drink they provide and he smirks at me, grabbing the money. "Anything for you, beautiful."
I watch him, making my drink, and I flick my tongue across the front of my top teeth. A random hand taps my shoulder, and I turn back around to see a tall blonde guy who looks like he could be around my age.
"What's a pretty lady like you doing alone at the bar?" he questions me, snickering.
"Getting a drink, trying to lose myself," I reply, the bartender setting my drink beside my arm. "maybe hook up with someone decent." What the hell is wrong with you, Cecilia?
"Well, my name's Matthew and I happen to think I'm decent enough," he mutters in my ear, placing his strong hand to my upper arm. "so, if you're willing to give me a shot, I'm open."
"I'm Cecilia," I bite my lip. "and I'll think about it." Get out of this situation before you actually hook up with the guy. As Matthew steps away, I glance over at my drink. I bring the glass to my lips, already feeling how drunk this will make me. Oh, goodie, the guy will definitely want to sex you after you've drunk an entire glass of this and around twenty shots of tequila. I probably should've just gotten a ride home. The more that I drink, the better I feel. Even better, the more horny I feel. Maybe Matthew would be a good choice.
"Wait a second," the bartender says, stopping me from standing up from the stool I've been seated in.
"Hmm?"
"Where do you think you're going?"
"The bathroom," I reply, my voice higher pitched than usual.
"With that Matthew guy?" he questions me. I nod. The bartender scoffs. "I don't think so."
I roll my eyes. "Why not?"
"He's around this bar all the time," he tells me. "picks up ladies and they come back in here beaten."
"So?" I shrug. "your point is?"
"I'm just looking out for you."
"I can take care of myself," I snap, leaning over the counter, grabbing the tequila bottles and a few shot glasses. I pour the liquor into both of the glasses. Both the bartender and I bring the small glasses up to our lips and lean back, letting the strong liquid slide down our throats.
"Not when you're drunk, you can't," he grabs my glass and pours more tequila into it. I watch with satisfaction and grab the glass eagerly. I shrug, repeating the same action another time.
"Another one," I smirk.
"Another one?" the bartender grins, pouring more if the bottle into my shot glass. I nod, taking more and more shots of the acidic drink until I finished the entire bottle of tequila. "that's all the tequila I've got."
"That's all I need," I slur.
"Shoot, hide back here," the bartender says to me and guides me over to behind the counter where all of the alcohol is held. "do not make a noise and whatever you do, don't show yourself."
"Mister," I hear that Matthew guy say. "where's that cute female that had her nice butt sitting on this stool?" That is just disturbing now. I can't believe I actually wanted to hook up with him.
"She left a few minutes ago," the bartender answers him, clearly lying. "I'm sure if you go to the right outside you'll be able to find her."
"I swear to god if I catch you lying to me, you're my wolfhound's dinner," Matthew seethes. Oh, come on. You look like rabies infested wolfhound.
I bring my head back so I have multiple chins and make a disgusted face. The man jogs out of the building, furious and I glance up at the bartender, asking if it's okay to stand back up.
"You need to get picked up before he finds out I lied," he kneels down, holding his palm out for my phone. I fish in my pocket for my phone and hand it to him. I watch him press on one of the contacts but I'm too drunk to really see their name and the person seems to answer right away. "hello-wait a fucking moment, you have a boyfriend?" He pauses and listens into my phone again. "Oh yeah, sorry this is her phone...she's stuck in a bar and definitely not in the state to be driving at all." I giggle, looking up at some bottles of Smirnoff and I try to stand myself up to grab them but the bartender slaps my hand away and presses me back down on the floor. "Jesus, don't touch that." He says to me and I whine, my tongue itching for the vodka. "Can you come pick her up before this rapist that was hitting on her a while ago comes back?"
"Give me that," I reach up and snatch my phone out of his hand. I press it to my ear and hiccup. "no need to get me, I'm having so much fun!"
"Cecilia," I recognize Jamie's voice say angrily into the phone. "I'm coming to get you no matter what."
"No fun," I pout.
The bartender grabs the phone from my hand and says the name of the bar into the phone before saying 'thank you' and hanging up. The guy picks me up from my spot and quickly brings me to the back of the building to hide me by a back entrance while asking another person to take over the bar for him.
"I just have one thing to say," the bartender says to me.
"What?"
"This guy calls you babe yet you don't once think to remember that you have him when Matthew was trying to lure you in," he crosses his arms over his chest. My phone is still in his hand and I sigh.
"I didn't ask to be a stupid drunk," I laugh deeply. The guy lets out a deep breath and he jumps slightly as my phone probably vibrates in his hand.
"He's here," he mutters and carefully opens the door, searching the alley. A car is shining its headlights on it but doesn't seem to move. The bartender types something into my phone and gives it back to me after closing it. I put it back into my pocket and the headlights showing start moving closer to us and I do some weird pose that I thankfully probably won't remember in the morning.
"You'll be lucky if your brain blocks that from your memory," the bartender snorts and walks up to the car. He shakes the man's hand and the guy gets out of the car. I sadly have no clue who it is that is walking toward me but I don't even care at this point, that's how out of it I am.
"Jesus Christ, C, you're a freaking mess," he grabs my shoulders and I giggle, hiccuping again. He leans the seat back and guides me and sits my body down on the seat. He buckles the seatbelt for me and closes the door carefully. Before I can really see much, I'm out cold and the only other noise that I hear is a car door closing and nothing else.
Jamie
The heat in my car finally starts turning up to the temperature that Cecilia needs and I stare at her slouched figure in the seat beside me. I sigh, smelling the strong aroma of alcohol reeking off of her. What happened that caused her to be like this? Even worse, why am I so goddam pissed at her for doing this? I understand how drunk she is but the bartender that served her the drinks told me how she was pretty much sober when she first spoke with the guy. Then afterwards she got served the Bacardi one-five-one. I might need one of those one I get more of the story from Cecilia.
She spoke to a dangerous guy behind my back. She even went to a bar without me. She and I made an arrangement that we wouldn't go to these places without each other.
I pull into the back driveway and poke her cheek, seeing if she'd wake up but she stays unconscious. I'm lucky she even has a pulse right now since the Bacardi one-five-one is practically a path to death. Sighing, I stand up out of the car and close the door. I throw the keys up and catch them in my hands then put them in my front pocket. Once I reach the passenger seat, I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath.
I open the door and unbuckle her seatbelt. I carefully readjust the seat and pull her body up lightly so I don't hurt her. She whines in her sleep and I pick her small body up. She aimlessly wraps her arms around my neck, pulling herself closer. As she does this, I smile but also frown knowing that she wants me but also knowing that she could've had her body touching another man.
Once I manage to get us into her place, I let out a breath I've been holding and turn the kitchen light on. I walk over to her room and set her on her bed, taking her shoes and socks off of her. I then proceed to her coat. Lastly, I remove her jeans and move her body carefully so her head lays on the pillow. I bring the cover over her body and turn the lights off, leaving the room.
I tip toe into the kitchen and turn those lights off too before leaving the place and locking the door behind me. Walking out to my car, I stop for a moment, turning back to stare at the door into the dark building.
The drive back to my house with Tyler and Katie is depressing and heartbreaking. But sleeping in the same bed with Cecilia would kill me from the inside out.
Tomorrow morning I'll just have Tyler go pick her up and bring her here so she and I can talk everything over.
I pull into the driveway at my house and turn my car off. I step out into the cold air again and stride up to the door and ring the bell. Eventually, Tyler walks up and opens it and his face goes from happy to worried. My hair is stuck to my forehead, I'm teary-eyed, and my clothes are a mess. I'm a mess.
"Did she ever show up?"
"I got a call from a mother fucking bartender," I push past him.
"And?" Tyler questions.
"She nearly cheated on me," I yell a little too loudly.
"How do you know?"
"The guy told me she was flirting with a guy that could've raped her," I just about punch a hole in the wall. "you should've seen how goddam drunk she was too."
"Jamie, calm down," Tyler takes a step toward me.
"How am I supposed to calm down?" I snap. "I can't tell if I'm more angry at myself or at her. She was practically sober when talking to that asshole but I wasn't there to keep him from touching places on her that are mine and mine only." Only I can touch her pussy.
"I know that Jamie," Tyler says back to me. "but she's safe at home, now. If you want, I'll go pick her up in the morning and bring her here so you two can talk things over and you can take care of her since she'll be hungover pretty bad."
Cecilia
I've thrown up twice in the past hour and I have a massive headache. My body feels so messed up and I have no memory of last night after leaving my mom's house.
I put my hair up in a messy bun and put a Michigan State sweatshirt on over my black tank top. The next thing I hear is loud knocks on my front door and I stand up from the floor next to my toilet to go answer it. To my surprise, it's Tyler and I slowly open it.
"Cecilia, put some shoes on," he crosses his arms over his chest.
"Jesus, why?"
"I need to give you a ride somewhere," Tyler replies.
"I've been puking for the past hour."
"You're hungover, just come with me," he tells me, not sounding happy.
"What the hell?" I practically swallow throw up. I bring my Uggs on to my feet and step out the door with him. "why is being hungover this big of a deal?"
"All I'm going to say is good luck when you see Jamie."
I stop dead in my tracks. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You'll know soon enough," Tyler sighs. "look, I'm sorry I'm being rude right now but what happened last night...it really wasn't okay."
"I don't even remember going out last night," I take a seat in the passenger seat.
"I just hope Jamie isn't a complete dick to you," he drives off away from my place and most likely to his, Katie's, and of course Jamie's.
I put my face in my palms and rub my temples, trying to bring this horrible headache to a low. I just wish I knew what I did. But I guess I'll know in a few minutes. I also wish I could never know.
I start tearing up as we pull up to the house that Jamie is inside of and I can't help but make up scenarios of what could've happened that would get him so mad at me. I unbuckle my seatbelt and slowly stand up, feeling nauseous. But I keep it in until I can get inside of the place. I whine, quickly walking to a bathroom and kneeling down, throwing up into the toilet for the third time. What the hell did I drink last night?
"I had a feeling the Bacardi one-five-one would come back up eventually," Jamie mutters, clearly angry. Tears threaten to fall as I stand up to wipe my mouth and flush the toilet. Jamie steps out of the room for a moment, grabbing a glass of water and hands it to me, telling me to spit it out in the sink. I almost hesitate to take the glass from him from pure fear. When I do, he crosses his arms over his chest. Katie walks up from behind him, her blonde hair in a fishtail braid and looks at me. I blink and turn myself so my back is facing the two of them. I bring the glass to my lips and let the water move around in my mouth before spitting it out in the sink.
I turn back around to see Jamie walking away and Katie stands in the doorway. "He's not as mad as he looks, I promise."
"I don't know, he looks pretty pissed off if you asked me," I bring random strands of my hair away from my face.
"Trust me, he can't stay mad at you for this long," she tells me. "right now, I'd say he's just extremely hurt."
"And I'm oblivious as to why he is."
"Just go find him and he'll tell you," she tells me and I sigh, stepping past her and I walk over into their kitchen and look to my left to see Jamie laying on the couch.
"Can we please talk about this in your bedroom?" I whisper so only he can hear. He nods, standing up and walking past me and I sigh, knowing whatever happened definitely wasn't good. I follow him up the stairs, the muscles in his back tensing up, knowing I'm staring at them to get my mind off of his anger. Not working though.
He opens the door to his room and takes a seat on the floor, pointing to his bed, telling me to sit on there. His covers are a mess and I lay on the mattress, bringing the first cover over my shaking body. Whatever happened, I can't blame him for not wanting to be affectionate right now. I lay my head on his soft pillow and stare up at the ceiling. I clear my throat. "What happened?"
Jamie looks up and just stares at me without saying a word.
"What did I do?" I whisper. "I'm scared, Jamie, I bet I messed it up like all of the other girls." He puts his face in his hands and groans, rocking his body back and forth on the floor.
"Y-You basically cheated on me," he finally answers.
"How?"
"You went out to a bar," Jamie tells me. I groan, wanting to cry but the amount of sadness I feel is too much that I can't cry. "the bartender called me and he said 'you have a boyfriend?' and at first I sat in your kitchen assuming you were flirting with him but then, when I go to pick you up, I find out you were soberly flirting with a man that could've raped you."
"Why the hell don't I remember any of that?" I finally let a tear stream down my face.
"I honestly don't know," Jamie rubs his face with his hands. "maybe the drink you ordered killed your memory."
"What'd I get?"
"Bacardi one-five-one," he replies. "you asked him for the strongest drink they serve."
"Why am I such a mess without you?" I rub my hand over my forehead. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I'll be fine without him, it never works. I can barely keep my life together anymore. If Jamie isn't there, I'm not there.
"I don't know...I don't see what's so special about me."
"You're like a drug, Jamie," I whimper. "it's said that the only drug you can get the best high from is people and you give me that high. And when I'm not with you, I feel like I'm absolutely desperate to get anything similar to what you give me. I bet that's what I did and I'll never forgive myself for it."
Jamie mumbles something like 'I love her' under his breath but I can't tell for sure that he said that. He probably doesn't even love me if that's what he said. Everyone I've dated told me how it's impossible to love me so how can someone else, who I'm not even dating, love me.
"What did you say?" I ask him.
"W-What?" he looks up at me, a shy expression on his face. "oh, nothing."
I decide against prying him and turn on my side, trying to ease the stomach ache that I still have. My wince from the pain in my head and whine because of how terrible my body feels. I close my eyes, curling up beneath the thin sheet, in Jamie's bed and I eventually feel sleep creep up on me. I can barely sense his stare but I know he's gazing at me. I feel the bed shift and he lays down next to me, rubbing my shoulder. He whispers something under his breath but before I can make out what he says, I'm fast asleep.
My sleep is dreamless and it feels like I'm asleep for a year but around two hours later I wake up from Jamie sitting up beside me. I slightly jump, not remembering where I am but then realizing how I'm still in his room. I stare up at him but I quickly look down at the covers on top of me, remembering why I'm here in the first place.
"Anything for you, beautiful."
"What's a pretty lady like you doing alone at the bar?"
"Maybe hookup with someone decent."
"I'm Cecilia...and I'll think about it."
Small pictures off last night start pouring into my brain and my breathing becomes irregular.
"No," I cry staring at Jamie. I stand up from his bed and walk across the room, rubbing my face continuously. "fuck, I fucked it up like I did with my dad. Like Iris, Stephanie, Faith, and Lucille did."
"Cecilia," Jamie slowly stands up. "you didn't do anything that you had much control over. Don't blame yourself for all of this. Please don't beat yourself up."
"I let the goddam bartender flirt with me!"
"I know, baby," he sighs.
"I let all of this shit happen while the man that I love sat at my place not knowing anything is happening," I sob, not being able to process anything that I'm saying and I immediately cover my mouth after realizing what I just told him. "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say-"
Jamie interrupts me by quickly stepping over to me and pulling my body against his. "Baby girl, never be sorry for saying that."
"Why not?" I sniff.
"I'm all about being spontaneous, taking risks, I'm down for falling so deeply in love with you because I've already fallen in this dark abyss in the form of you and I still haven't found the bottom," he whispers, not looking away from me. "never tell me you're sorry for saying 'I love you' or referring to me as the man you love because I know how much you've been fighting saying it even when you want so bad to."
"I couldn't hold it in any longer," I let a few tears stream down my cheeks.
"Don't cry, please," he mutters. "I don't want you to feel shame or sorrow about anything that's happened last night or this morning."
"I'm so sorry for hurting you," I apologize again.
"I forgive you, just make sure I'm with you whenever you go out," Jamie cups my cheeks, being fully serious now. "I don't want to be the prince that comes to rescue his princess after she's been alone for thousands of years under an evil queen's spell. I want to be the prince that's always there to wake her up every morning with true love's kiss even when the evil queen is watching. We could make her jealous and she'll remember what she doesn't have that we do have. I want to be there before you're put under a spell before anything bad happens to you."
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