‘… yes, I think she’s fine… okay I’ll show you later… no… yep… alright, bye.’ I wake up with someone talking on a phone their voice loud but distant and I realised I was on my bed.
‘Hey, you alright?’ I open my eyes and find Daniel standing next to my bed. I moan and rub my face.
‘H-how did I get here?’ I ask rolling over and finding Jack right next to me, I flinched at his cold touch under the blanket and ignored the tingling warmth in my arm. ‘I brought you both up here,’ he smiles warmly, ‘found you on the floor near the kitchen.’
I sigh and sit up, looking at the door remembering that I was meant to be angry at him.
‘Look, I’m sorry about what happened last night-’
‘It’s fine,’ I cut him off looking back at him. ‘Just, don’t worry about it okay?’
He looks down for a second then looks back at me, ‘you’re right…’ he trails off as Jack starts to moan, we both look at him for a moment and get lost in our own thought. ‘I think I should go,’ Daniel says walking toward the door; I get off the bed and walk to him.
‘I’m guessing you heard about me and Billy?’ I start. He turns around and looks at me stopping right at the door, ‘yeah.’ He looks down in embarrassment and grief, then looks back up and catches me smiling at him.
‘What?’ he starts to smile even if he didn’t know why. ‘Nothing,’ I look down trying to wipe the smile off and making my mouth a straight line, he chuckles.
I lean on the frame of the door and look back up at Daniel realising he’s gotten taller.
‘Aw, Daniel’s growing!’ I tease starting to giggle. ‘I know right!’ he exclaims laughing with me, then he stops, looking at me serious, up and down. ‘… and Remy’s, well… Remy!’ he winks at me and starts laughing again. ‘Grommet,’ I hear him say under his breath my mouth opens in mock-horror before I swat him softly on the arm and start giggling again like a little kid.
When we start to calm down I see Daniel looking at Jack behind me, and he goes quiet. ‘Well, it’s good that we’re all okay now. But, uh, I have to go do something,’ he smiles then walks off to the stairs.
I stop him half way as I stood at the top of the stairs, ‘Daniel...’
He turns around and looks at me, ‘uh, thanks,’ I smile, ‘it was… nice, of you. Especially for bringing Jack.’
He smiles and nods and then he was off.
When I walk into the bedroom Jack was gone, and I started to panic.
‘Jack, where are you?’ I whisper not wanting anyone to know I lost him, ‘Jack,’ I hiss, walking around my bedroom. No answer. I walk downstairs slowly and quietly, looking around for anyone that might see me. ‘Jack,’ I whisper once more. He couldn’t have just left without me knowing, he’d have made some noise with the state that he’s in and all.
I walk to the front door and look out the window, but I couldn’t really see anything.
Nice and slowly, I said to myself.
I open the door and walk out of the porch looking for Jack, ‘Jack,’ I said a bit louder. I could barely see anything in the forest because the sun was already setting behind the house.
So I decided to walk around the forest for a bit. ‘Jack!’ I called, ‘where are you?!...’
I walked around until stars were shinning in the dark blue sky.
Even if I’ve only been walking around for an hour or so I got pretty tired so I decided to walk back to the house remembering the deal, unfortunately.
I walked and walked until I realised I was lost. I wasn't exactly sure which way the house was, all I knew was that it was dark and cold, I was shivering and I could barely even see anything.
‘Jack! Where are you?!’ I screamed one last time, not walking. I hear a noise somewhere behind me and turn around fast, scared and alert. ‘Jack? Is that you?’ I ask quieting my voice and steps cautiously and walking toward the noise.
No answer.
‘Show yourself,’ there was still no answer. I turn around about to walk off but then I see a slight figure, ‘Jack, is that you?’ I walk toward it. I was almost close enough to see who it was but then it runs away.
‘Stop running!’ I screamed, ‘whoever you are, come here and be a man!’ I turn around and find someone towering over me, I recognised him.
‘I’m here,’ he says, the voice ringing in my ears. It was the really tall man; mean and scary and oh so shiveringly cold looking. He grabs my arm and pulls me closer to him. ‘I’m bringing you back. Why do it aye? Billy and The Warden are furious now.’ I try to make him let me go but he’d just grip harder, I look up and see the white of his eyes staring into mine.
‘I didn’t run away I was just… trying to find something, it got dark and I got lost. Now let me go,’ I struggled and got at least one step away his hand still placed firmly over my elbow.
He laughs, ‘yeah? I’ll believe it when I see it. And so far, from what I hear, ain’t no way I’m trusting you,’ he hisses.
‘Let. Me. Go,’ I say looking up at his moonlit face, ‘what so you can run away?’ he starts to smile about to laugh at the idea.
‘I’m not trying to run away! I just wanna get back home and get to bed!’ I start to raise my voice at him and he grips my arm tighter, looking at me more serious. ‘Scream at me again and you ain’t going anywhere, from here on now,’ he growls.
‘Look, I don’t care if you’re going to be following me just please, let me go, I'm not some dog you can pull around!’ he ignores me; looking away, and then starts pulling me somewhere despite my angry glare.
I start struggling and used my other hand to try to pull my arm free, ‘let me go!’ I kept saying, but he just kept ignoring and griping tighter.
He didn’t stop walking and it felt like we walked further than I did by myself, ‘where are we going? I'm really tired; I think I might pass out.’ I exaggerated, he laughs, ‘better for me if you do.’ I stop walking and make him turn around, ‘can we please stop? Its pitch black, I can't see anything, I'm tired, I'm hungry, my feet hurt and I really would like to go home now!’ I scream. He stops straight away like he got frozen then turns around slowly staring straight at me making my stomach flip and wish I hadn’t yelled.
‘I-I’m sorry, it’s just, I really w-wanna stop right now and rest. Please?’ I ask the edge and anger fading fast from my voice taken over by tiredness and fear. He considers me for a long time, and then looks at a tree nearby. ‘Fine,’ he says then drags me to the tree and pushes me to the ground so I landed hard on my bottom.
‘Ow!’ he holds me down and starts pulling out rope, ‘W-wait, what are you doing?’ he ignores me and ties my hands, tight, behind my back. ‘Do you want to rest or not?’ he asks, tired and bored.
‘Why do you have to tie me up for? How am I supposed to sleep with rope around my wrists, behind my back?!’
‘I dunno. You’ll figure something out.’ He smiles, teeth just visible in the dark. He pulls out a longer rope and attaches it to the one on my wrists, then ties it to the tree. ‘Okay, this is a bit too much-’
‘No, not enough,’ he says then puts tape on my mouth.
I look up at him glaring wishing I could burn holes in him just by staring long and hard enough and he sighs happily, ‘see, even if I hate you, I like you better like that. No screaming, no wingding, no telling me what to do, no talking.’ He looks at me struggling for a while then walks off. I start panicking and start screaming with the tape still on, but he didn’t even look back.
‘Remiah! Where are you?!... Remy!’
I wake up still tied up to the tree. ‘Remy!’ someone calls; I open my eyes and find myself lying on the forest ground, then I see a blurry image of someone walking around nearby.
‘Remy!’ they call again. I try to scream but it was no use because of the tape on my mouth.
‘Remy!’ the voice got closer and closer. I tried screaming some more hoping whoever it was could hear me, and then I see Zach walking toward me.
I struggle to sit up, watching him as he got closer. His face was plain as if he didn’t even know who I was.
He towers over me, glaring, and then helps me to my feet. We stand there watching each other for a moment, me blinking rapidly wondering what just happened and why I'm here and him… well just being him and staring at me without emotion. Then he pulls out a knife from his pocket, as soon as I saw the sharp, shiny metal I got scared and moved back a bit. He lets me go and walks to the tree cutting off the rope, and then comes back, ‘why’d you do it Remy?’ he asks holding my arm.
I stand there not sure what he meant, and the fact that my hands were still tied up behind my back and tape was still around my mouth.
He looks at the knife in his hands and puts it back in his pocket, and starts pulling me with him.
I start murmuring something but Zach couldn’t understand because of the tape. He looks at me but keeps walking, pulling me in his lead.
After a while I hated the fact that I couldn’t talk or even scratch my own nose so I tried to make him notice me by pulling away from his grasp. At first he acted like I wasn’t there just pulling and pulling me to the way he wanted to go. But I didn’t give up.
I tried to shake him off and move away from him but his grasp grew tighter and tighter.
‘Dang it, Remiah. Stop it!’ he warns reluctantly.
I stop walking and he looks at me angrily, I look down but when I look back up his not so angry he almost looks sympathetic, and I was caught off guard by his calm features I didn’t even realise that he took the tape off my mouth slow and gently.
He cuts off the rope and contemplates me for a while before walking off, leaving me watching after him. I stand there for a moment then catch up, walking next to him trying to keep up with his fast pace.
‘So why’d you do it?’ he asks after a while slowing down a bit and letting me catch breath.
‘Do what?’ I ask, hoping he wasn’t talking about the basement scene. ‘Why’d you run away?’ he looks at me thinking.
‘I didn’t,’ I reply. I knew he didn’t believe me because he looked away, so I pushed on. ‘I just went out to look for Jack because I thought he ran away. And because he was so weak I went out to look for him,’ he looks at me again, unconvinced. ‘I kept walking until it was dark and realised I was lost. After a while one of your guys found me and left me tied up to a tree.’
This time I look at him thinking, but he doesn’t say anything he just shrugs and keeps walking.
Then I thought about Jack. ‘So, do you know what happened to Jack?’ I ask optimistically.
‘Dunno,’ he replies and starts walking even faster. ‘What do you mean you don’t know?’ I ask disappointed, but he doesn’t answer me.
‘We’re here,’ Zach says as the sun was setting in front of us. I sigh but keep walking and he slows down to walk next to me.
I walk in finding everyone in the kitchen; Nick and The Warden; angry. Jack on a chair; still hurt and looking worse than before, Billy on his side. And some others; crowding all around as if they were in a meeting just before.
Nobody talks for a while making me feel awkward and a bit intimidated. Apart from The Warden glaring everyone else wasn’t looking at me, all avoiding my gaze.
‘Sit down,’ The Warden commands after a long enough silence. I do as told looking at each and every one of them in the kitchen. The whole silence and staring starts once again until The Warden’s startling voice breaks it, making most of us jump. ‘Out.’ He says without taking his eyes off me, ‘I want to talk to the girl in private.’
Some of them were a bit unsure as if something bad would happen, which made me a bit worried. As everyone walked out of the kitchen and downstairs or to the back, The Warden went quiet all of a sudden and looked very disappointed as well as furious.
I looked at him and took a deep breath before talking, ‘okay look…’ I started, ‘I didn’t run away. I just thought that Jack ran away so I went out to look for him but I got lost after a while and-’
I stop cut off from The Warden’s loud and insulting laugh. ‘You can do better than that Remiah!’ he says, barely keeping the edge out of his voice. ‘I can't believe it! You can't think of anything else, so you drag your weak little boyfriend into it. HA!’ He says loud and bitterly, making me jump out of my seat fast and angry. He barely even flinches as my chair hits the tiled kitchen floor.
‘He’s not weak or little! And he’s way better than you! You-you’re just a worthless rat that uses people, and everyone hates you!’ I spit out angrily, hiding what was truly in my mind.
‘Yeah? Well you’re just a little girl that likes to go messin’ around with any guy she comes across.’ He says calmly knowing it stung me inside and out.
I try my best not to look hurt and grew back the anger fast, ‘what are you trying to say?’ I dare through gritted teeth closing my hands and forming them into tight fists.
He contemplates me before answering. ‘That you’re a no-good-dirty-little-girl,’ he says slowly as if penetrating it through my brain – which it did.
Angry and lost for words I punch him without second thoughts. Caught off guard his neck swings to the side and his face contorted. I looked down at my fists in front of me and then back to the angry Warden.
Oh-my-god-oh-my-god-oh-my-god! I chanted to myself, so scared I almost wanted to cry, but I held my ground.
The Warden moves his chin side to side as if fixing it before cracking his neck to one side then to the other as if my punch was nothing to him.
No blood, no bruises, no broken noses. Clearly my punch really was for nothing.
As he fixed himself up in a matter of seconds I couldn’t help but stand there. I watch as his jaw soon tenses and his eyes narrow down at me, he starts to glare and I look away but I could still see him in the corner of my eye.
‘Remiah Shantello. First person to ever crack a punch at me in a very long time,’ he says shaking his head. ‘I miss the feeling,’ he chuckles bitterly, the sound echoing through my body and making me feel small and shallow. I finally look at him and it looked like he was ready to lunge at me and grab me by the throat but I ran off just in time without any backward glances.
This time I truly showed my fear.
I ran to my bedroom boiling with both fear and anger wanting to throw things around, but before I knew it I find myself breaking down into tears. I cried as quietly as I could and wished that I never had the guts to run away to the other side of the island in the first place.
I wished that I hadn’t had the chance to meet someone like Jack because if it wasn’t for me he would have been here.
In fact I wish I wished I wasn't born, so maybe then Nick wouldn’t have been through so much pain and frustration, and maybe my Mum would be with Nick and they could have lived happily ever after.
My sobs soon turned into hiccups as I listened to the murmuring voices below, my thoughts started unravelling and memories came rolling back.
But as I sat on the floor thinking I wondered – Maybe there never is such thing as a happily ever after.
‘Remy?’ someone calls, and then I hear footsteps walking up the stairs. I rub my eyes and nose and get up off the floor, trying to make it look like I haven’t been crying. And to my surprise it was Nick, ‘Remiah,’ he calls once more before walking into my bedroom. As soon as he sees me he automatically knows I’ve been crying. ‘Aw, Remiah, baby,’ he says sadly embracing me in a hug.
It was a bit awkward because he hasn’t called me “baby” since I was eight, but as he hugged me I didn’t even care anymore. I felt more relaxed than I have ever felt for about a decade, and I could finally feel my body and heart relax. As we hugged I started to sob again thinking about the last time I hugged my father meaningfully. He rubs my back as he starts telling me that sometimes we can't always get what we want and that life and people aren’t always fair.
As he was talking I realised that he too was shedding tears, his voice started to break and he had to stop every now and then to take a deep breath. He lets me go wiping his eyes and holds my shoulders so we were eye to eye. I take a deep breath in but it came out wobbly and scared something that doesn’t usually happen to me.
‘I love you Remiah. And I hope you know that.’ He says, gazing deep in my eyes and then kissing me on the forehead softly.
I love you. I replay it over and over in my head, I love you. The words meant something to me but they were distant as if I’ve never heard it said to me before something from a foreign language that I couldn’t translate.
I wanted to say it back but it felt like my lips were glued together, ‘I-I love you too,’ I finally managed to whisper smiling back, eyes still a bit teary. He embraces me once more before leaving half smiling, both happy and sadness in his eyes.
I stand there for a while feeling my heart repair itself as if the parts of my heart that has fallen off came back in that exact moment with Nick; my dad.
And I realised how much I actually did love him and how much he loved me, it’s just neither of us showed it.
I touched my heart and sighed with relief still staring at the door wondering if it was just a dream or something that actually came true.