Chapter 15: This Is What Teen Girls Go Through. "That Year"
My eyes were dried out as we sat in the empty coffee shop called Starbucks. The cashier didn't give as a second glance, only left back into the kitchen without turning back. I stared blankly at the hot chocolate in the medium sized mug my cold hands were wrapped around. It sat on the wooden smooth table in front of me. In the booth next to me sat Evan who was extremely silent since he found me in the alley.
James had stayed behind, calling his people that were going to make sure the mess was cleaned up. All this explained to me as soon as we had ordered the hot chocolate.
Evan had asked what happened and I told him word by word, since it was forever plugged into my memory. Why was this happening to me? I saw how this worked in movies but never had I thought it'll leave me some numb. So dead. My hot chocolate had long since gotten cold and I hadn't taken a sip from it once. Poor Jeremy.
I didn't even know the guy all that well but it hurt me so much and so deep, seeing anyone die like that would have made me feel this way. My finger was on that trigger along with his. I had killed him. And every time that thought went through my head, my heart beat went pounded in my ears and my head went foggy.
Then I went numb.
I unwrapped my hands from the mug and covered my face. I couldn't even cry anymore. I wanted to, but I'd long since went dry. I was only seventeen years old, what was I supposed to do? Going to the cops was just plain stupid. I couldn't or I'll go to jail. They'll file me for murder and I'll be there for the rest of my life. They'll just find my fingerprints on that damn gun, on that fucking trigger.
And then it was all over. They wouldn't even believe my story, including the fact that I had no witnesses, it'll go downhill from there. And my father, he'll hate me, think poorly of me. I felt Evan's arm go around my shoulder and I turned toward him, bearing my face in his chest.
He was so warm, the smell of him filled my whole body. It comforted me, but not so much that I didn't still feel broken and terrible. Both his arms went around my shoulder and I felt his chin rest on top of my head.
"Kylie. I'm so sorry. If I'd stayed away from you, this wouldn't have happened. It's my fault you've had to go through this. I'm so sorry."
His chest vibrated when his deep voice came rumbled out with words. I took my hands off my face and pressed my cheek against his chest, listening to his fast and strong pounding heart. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and whispered.
"It's not your fault. It's not my fault. It just happened." I could feel him ready to deny it but I continued on talking, trying to convince myself more than anything, "There's nothing we can do about it now. We can't change we did. God knows, I wish I could. I shouldn't have come here, to Chicago."
That was right, I should have stayed back where I was. I never had so much pain mentally ever. I was overwhelmed with it and I felt like I was slowly drowning into a pit of nothing. Was this how Evan felt every day? Doing the same job Jeremy did? What risk did have to take? Why did he get involved in the first place? What was this dangerous job? I couldn't think of nothing but assassins and secret agents.
"Kylie..." Evan said, breathing out my name. His back stiffened as he let out a deep breath and began to speak again, "I used to be a normal teen, like any other kid you saw at school. But on my sixteenth birthday, my father... died."
I squeezed him tightly before relaxing my grip. What it must have been like, on your birthday for one of your parents to die? He took another breathe before continuing to speak, "A few days later I came home to people searching our house... My mother was locked in the bathroom and I saw a guy take some boxes of drugs out of my father's office room."
Drugs? Drug dealing? My brain was speeding up the process quickly. They were drug dealing. But why? I forced myself to concentrate on what Evan was saying. His pulse had jumped sky rocket and I knew he must be putting himself back into the old memories.
"They saw me looking and asked if I was the son of my father. When I told them I was... they threatened me. Told me I had to go with them or my mother would be tortured... and then killed. So I went."
I waited patiently as I felt Evan's arms tighten around my shoulders. "They made me take some of those drugs that were in the boxes... They did some horrible things... I rather not go into detail about that. You know... beating and uh... sex. They told me I had to work for them, that I couldn't include anyone else into it or they'll be killed. My job precisely is to deliver the drugs and get the money. Jeremy... he was pulled much deeper into it than I was. He needed the money for his twin sister that's currently the only family member he has left. So his job was the get the drugs from other people and not let the police catch him. And for the money, he was to kill the people that were getting too close to knowing about our business."
He stopped talking, taking a deep breath. "I really shouldn't be telling you this, Kylie. These people, they're dangerous. They'll kill to keep their drugs and money. If they found out you knew, you'll be killed."
I was stunned and shocked into silence. It all too much to accept. All too much for one person to handle. I pulled away from Evan and pressed my hand to my throbbing head. Drug dealing. Killing. Beating. Raping. I was pretty much waiting for the part where he might as well told me the day of my funeral. It was all too much to take in.
Obviously his father had some drugs he didn't pay off for some money. Drug dealers came to get it. Found out dude had a son, so decided to replace the father with the son so they could still get their money. Jeremy was already in it at that time, running and killing off people for his twin sister. Okay, okay, okay. I get it now. But with this information I seriously wished I hadn't bothered. Because now my life was at risk, now I was in danger. It was all too goddamn much.
Don't panic, Kylie. Just don't panic. My insides were totally panicking. What if someone came for me tomorrow? What if someone killed my father or his wife? What if Ryan or Dexter died next? Wait a flying minute!
"Don't Ryan and Dexter know about your business?"
Evan looked at me and said, "They think I'm gambling."
I let out a defeated sign. They didn't know the truth. Something far worse than gambling. I just wanted to bang my head down on this damn table. Oh my god! I knew I had to accept it, to suck it all in and just go with it. But it was harder than it seemed. I just saw someone die, how could I just go along with it, I don't know what the future held anymore. What time was it for fucking sake? I had school in the morning and then therapy. What the fuck was I going to do? How the hell could I make it through the damn day? Dalton might pop up with a gun if I wasn't careful enough.
Oh my god, when did my life become so complicated? I had a feeling it was going to be more complicated than before. Shit, I couldn't take this crap. Now that I knew what was going on, I had more concerns about my well-being than before.
"Can't you just quit?" I asked, looking at the table, trying to find a way out of this.
"I would have done that if I could, Kylie." He replied with the most obvious answer.
What the hell was I going to do? This was life, reality, there was no damn easy way out of this bullshit.
"What the hell are you-are we, going to do?" I asked, looking him in the eye. He had to have the answer, he had to saw something fucking convincing before I got nuts.
He stared at me with those dead eyes and emotionless face. I shook my head and stated my thoughts,
"Oh hell, we're going to fucking die. That's it, period. We have no future. I haven't even started on my damn bucket list yet! I'm only seventeen years old, there was so much I wanted to do, to see. And now it's gone, it's all bloody gone. Right before my damn eyes. It's over."
His face dipped into something of deep sadness. "I'm really sorry, Kylie. I shouldn't have told you what was going on."
I shook my head at him. "I was going to find out eventually." Another thought appeared in my mind.
"Is James one of 'them' because I remember him saying you work for him?"
Evan shook his head. "He's my partner but he has a higher status then I do. He's usually the one to accept the jobs and pick a destination, that sort of stuff."
What has this turned into? Men in Black, Bad Boys, Red, The Terminator? I couldn't stand it. This was seriously fucked up.
"This is some bullshit. Goddammit why the hell does life have to be so difficult? All this shit, the killing, the fighting, the money, and for some drugs? Are people really that fucking needy? Can't they just buy the stuff off of eBay or go to a damn black market or some shit like that. Is it really that hard?"
Evan was staring at me with that emotionless look again and it made me want to snap at him to.
"You curse too much, Kylie."
I threw my arms up and dropped them quickly, "You have a problem with my cursing when you're in the middle of a life and death situation."
He shook his head and said, "That's the one thing I don't like about you. Cursing are for people who can't find enough English words to speak properly, Kylie. You give me a headache with all of it. It's annoying."
My mouth instantly went down to a frown. I still couldn't believe he was talking about this and we had to plan out a way to not die right now.
"Okay, so I curse too much. What other things don't you like about me Evan?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, anger swirling around on my insides. I couldn't help I talked like a sailor, I was kind of born with this mouth. Plus old habitats die hard.
He shrugged. "That's about the only thing."
"Fine. I'll dial it down." I scowled, turning my head to the side so I wouldn't have to look at him anymore. I was surprised when I felt his hands on each one of my cheeks. Gently he pulled my head until I was facing him. I stared into his eyes, noticing that his hair was out of the side of his face, pushed behind his ear.
Evan stared at me intently and I noticed a scar about the eye that was always hidden. It was a huge and deep curve, on the started at the right side of his forehead and went down to the end of his eye. It was rigid and ugly, disturbing his usually beautiful face. His face was very serious and there was a gleam in his eyes that I've never seen before.
"Kylie Smith." He said, starting with my full name. "I'm going to protect you. I've put you into this mess and I'm going to make sure you come out alive. Okay?"
I stared at him before I lifted my hands and placed them on his hands. Than I did something I never thought I was going to do. Because, I've just met the dude like two days ago and I didn't really know him. But already I've felt like I've known him for more than just those few days. I felt like one of those girls that start a new life and had a happily ever after.
I've felt like this was that year. The year filled with something more than just happiness and a joy. It was that year where every teen faced they're deepest fears, overcame their problems, learned from their mistakes, and found happiness. But I wasn't going to past over this and have that happiness and joy, not until I realize who I am and not until I had Evan by my side. To seal my own promises to myself, I leaned forward and kissed Evan.