Brooklyn
I stormed out of Justin’s car angrily, my feet kicking the pavement as I walked with unnecessary force. There were several reasons behind my anger.
Reason one: I had just been a complete bitch to Justin.
Reason two: I was an insensible brat yesterday for doing what I did.
Reason three: I was disappointed in myself and had taken all of my upset on Justin, making me feel even worse.
I thought about going back and apologizing but, when I looked behind me, the car was no longer there. I had to go to school anyways, I was already late for second period. I felt like curling up in a ball in the middle of the street and crying my eyes out but I kept the tears from falling. You’ll breakdown later when you have time, I told myself.
I walked the rest of the way to school and sneaked in using one of the lateral doors so the caretaker wouldn’t see me. I went straight to my locker, praying I would have some spare clothes there, even if they were for P.E. The hallways were deserted since students were still in class. I had ten minutes until the bell would ring so I tried to be quick. Putting the combination on my locker, I opened the door and got my gym bag. I slammed the door shut with the rush, cursing myself for being so loud.
As soon as the metal door closed, I was greeted with the face of my friend Kelsey leaning against her locker, which was next to mine. I held back a shriek.
“God, Kelsey.” I whispered letting out a deep breath. I was lucky it was her who found me or otherwise, I was screwed.
She eyed me suspiciously. “So you slept over at Anna’s yesterday?” She arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
I opened my mouth in confusion, frowning and not knowing what to say.
“I called your house and your mom told me.” She explained. “But it’s strange how Anna was here for first period and you weren’t. And you clearly haven’t gone home to change your clothes.” She pointed at my outfit. “Mind explaining?” She inquired narrowing her eyes at me, urging me to spill the truth.
I sighed loudly. “I will but now I need to change into something else.” I lifted my gym bag to show her.
“Okay, let’s go to the bathroom. The bell is gonna ring in five.” She used a serious tone like she was mad at me. I simply nodded and followed her to the girl’s restroom.
“Why aren’t you in class by the way?” I asked curiously.
“I got permission to go to the bathroom.” She said dryly.
Once we were both inside, Kelsey closed the door and locked it, making me chuckle. “You know, other people need to use the toilet too.”
She shrugged like she didn’t care, which she probably didn’t at the moment. “They can go to the other ones.”
Well, someone was grumpy.
I took my coat off and rested it on the counter next to one of the sinks along with my purse. I pulled my top shirt over my head and searched for some other t-shirt in the bag. I found a klein blue tank top that would have to do. After I put it on, I still looked too much like yesterday and, if people here notice when you wear the same thing twice in the same month, let alone in two consecutive days. I could change my jeans for some sweatpants but I’d rather die. Inside my bag there was a pair of trainers I refused to wear too.
“This shirt stinks of alcohol.” Kelsey scrunched her nose, smelling my purple top. “What the hell did you do, Isabella?” She asked in both bewilderment and amusement.
“I told you I will explain later. And don’t call me that.” I fake shivered at hearing her calling me Isabella.
“Here, put on my shoes and I’ll wear yours. At least, you’ll look more different.” She handed me a pair of black ballet flats with a golden chain decorating them and I gave her my ankle-boots.
“Well?” I asked once the new outfit was complete.
“Not one of your best looks…” I rolled my eyes. “But it will pass.” She decided finally.
“Good, that’s all I want. I just want this day to be over already.” I buried my face in my hands, sighing, and closed my gym bag after stuffing my dirty top inside. Before doing so, I found a flower-patterned handkerchief in a pocket so I wrapped it around my neck, making me look a bit more sophisticated.
Kelsey gave me a nod before we went outside of the bathroom. Some girls looked at us annoyed because we had been blocking it but Kelsey just sent them a glare. “Stupid freshmen.” She muttered. She’s not usually like this but today she seemed especially upset. And I’m almost positive that it’s my fault.
I walked to my locker to put the bag and coat inside and get my books for my next lesson, which was History. Oh the joy. Kelsey and I were making our way to the class when a voice called my name, making me stop.
I turned around to see Principal Werthers motioning for me to go. “I’ll see you later.” I mumbled to Kelsey as she sent me a ‘good luck’ look.
“Principal Werthers.” I greeted her with a sweet smile.
“Miss Reed.” She saluted back. Let’s say she’s not the nicest human being on the planet. “Would you please come to my office? It will be just a minute.”
I gulped hard. “Of course.” I followed her to her office, earning stares and murmurs along the way. I’m not precisely known for getting into trouble.
“Take a seat.” She gestured to a chair with her hand once we were inside.
I hesitantly sat, beginning to feel nervous. I fidgeted with my fingers in my lap while she took a seat on her black leather swivel chair across the table.
“I was told you missed the first two periods of class this morning and I would like to know why one of our best students suddenly stops showing up to her lessons.” She arched a brow sternly.
God, I’ve missed two periods and I’m already skipping school? This woman is paranoid.
“I was at the doctor’s.” I replied confidently.
“And do you expect me to believe that without a call from your parents?” She raised both eyebrows at me with a questioning look.
“I-I actually have a note from my mother.” I handed her the neatly folded paper I had previously written in “Justin’s car” (the real owner was still unknown).
She read it carefully, adjusting her glasses on the bridge of her nose before giving it back to me and letting her glasses fall on her chest, held by a brown string.
“Two hours for a medical appointment?” She questioned suspiciously.
Damn. Think quickly.”Well, you know how these things go. You always enter later than you’re supposed to because there are so many people.” I let out a nervous laugh.
“Don’t even mention it.” She put a hand up. “Happens to me all the time.” She laughed for the first time since I’ve known her.
“I know right? It’s crazy.” I joined her laughter praying she would let me go soon.
“You’re free to go now. I don’t want you to miss anymore lessons.” She ushered me outside. Once I was out the door, I sighed in utter relief.
“That was close.” I murmured to myself as I walked to class.
________________________________
“Okay, now that you have your food, spill.” Kelsey urged me while we took a seat at one of McDonald’s booths.
I popped a fry inside my mouth, chewing on it and enjoying the greasy flavor. It might not be the healthiest food ever but I haven’t eaten a proper meal since yesterday’s lunch so I’m hungry.
“Where shall I start? It’s a long story…” I trailed off.
“Start from when you left Anna’s house.” She took a sip from her diet coke, staring at me impatiently.
I thought about everything for a second. Should I tell her all of it? I mean, Kelsey is my best friend and she’s gonna support me with everything but I’m so ashamed of some of the things I did that I don’t want to relive them.
“Okay.” I let out a shaky breath. “I left her house and tried to find a taxi but her neighborhood is so dead, it wasn’t even night yet and there was no one outside their houses and no taxis either. I was walking when a man came to me and told me to give him every valuable thing I had.” I made a pause to check she was listening closely. “I didn’t want to so he took out a knife and pointed it to my neck.” Upon hearing the word ‘knife’, Kelsey gasped in horror and immediately examined my neck for any damage. “He didn’t hurt me in the end.” I assured her, earning a breath of relief. “So, suddenly, a car appeared and a boy came out, beating the creeper’s ass and therefore saving me.”
“Okay, let me guess. The boy was Justin, right? Those things only happen to you, I swear.” She shook her head and kept biting on her chicken nuggets.
“Well yeah, I still don’t know what he was doing there.” I partly lied because I knew it had something to do with why he suddenly had a car but I decided I shouldn’t tell Kelsey about that. “The thing is he told me to get in the car and we left. I thought he would take me home but…he insisted on taking me to a party he had because he thinks I don’t know how to have fun and –“
I was abruptly interrupted by Kelsey’s scream of disbelief. “And you went? Goddamn it, have you gone insane B?”
“Shh.” I hissed, bringing a finger to my lips. It was late because we already had the whole McDonald’s staring at us but I didn’t want to drag any more attention. “He wouldn’t let me say no.” I whispered/yelled. “Kels, I didn’t want to go. It wasn’t even in a weekend but I had to. I had no other ride.” I whined. She remained silent so I started munching on my veggie burger.
“You can skip the part when you get drunk because I already know you did.” She spoke harshly and I felt even worse. Tears were welling up in my eyes again. Now I have another person to add to the list of people who I’ve disappointed. “Just please tell me you didn’t kiss Justin. I’m pretty sure he wants to kiss you and you being drunk seems like the perfect opportunity.” She said slowly, inwardly hoping I wouldn’t say I did.
I looked up at her to see she had her eyes closed like she was mentally praying. I couldn’t help it and I let some tears slip out of the brim of my eyes. She sucked in a deep breath and then let it out, opening her eyes again to look at me.
“Don’t cry.” She came by my side and embraced me before wiping my tears with a napkin. “I’m not gonna tell you I’m proud of what you did but we all make mistakes.” Relief swept through me when I realized she wasn’t mad at me. “Well, I’m not so sure kissing Justin is a mistake.” A smirk drew on her face and I immediately flushed scarlet.
After a while of eating in silence, she asked tentatively. “Do you regret it?”
“Regret what?”
She rolled her eyes like it was obvious. “Kissing Justin.”
I opened my mouth but words didn’t come out. I hadn’t figured out the answer to that question myself. “I-I don’t know.” I glanced down at my finished meal and played with my fingers in my lap. “I mean, I feel horrible because I’m supposedly with Nate but I just couldn’t help it and I can’t exactly say I regret it.” I explained, biting my lip at the memory of Justin’s soft lips on my own. It had probably been the best kiss I had been given in my short life, one of those that sweep you off your feet.
“What do you mean you’re supposedly with Nate?” She asked in confusion.
“He hasn’t asked me to be official yet.” I shrugged.
“From my point of view, he assumes you guys are already together so he doesn’t feel the need to ask you. You do everything couples do, go on dates, kiss…” She trailed off convinced of her point.
I replayed her words in my head. What if she’s right? What if I’m stupid for waiting for him to ask me to be his girlfriend? What if I already am? That would mean I cheated on him. Really cheated on him. A pang of guilt ran through my tired body. But the worst question that my brain asked itself was: what if I honestly don’t regret kissing Justin? I mentally thanked Kelsey when she kept talking, saving me from drowning on my own doubts. No, I wasn’t ready to answer that yet.
“You know what? Forget about last night, it’ll only give you a headache.” She waved her hand dismissively and quickly changed the topic. “Yesterday, when I called your house, your mom and I were talking about your birthday party. You don’t have to worry about anything, we’ll take care of it.” She smiled happily. She’s always loved preparing parties.
“Okay.” I replied, trying to sound enthusiastic but failing as my mind kept hopelessly thinking about last night.
“We should go back to school; last period starts in fifteen minutes.” She glanced at her watch and then stood up. I followed her outside the place and we began our 10-minutes walk back to school.
“Kels, would you mind taking me to pick Tommy today? I don’t have my car with me.” I asked, realizing that I had to pick Tommy from practice and my car was in my garage because I didn’t take it yesterday. I also realized that I would have to see Justin again.
“Of course not.” She replied all smiley. “But wait, why don’t you have your car?” She knitted her eyebrows together in misunderstanding.
“Justin drove me to school this morning.” I scratched my neck awkwardly.
Kelsey’s mouth formed a perfect ‘O’ shape. “You slept with Justin?” The shock was evident in her voice as well as in her features.
“What? No! I wasn’t even in his room.” I shook my head feverishly. A part of me would have liked waking up to his face. This is not the best moment to think about that, don’t you think? I listened to my conscience and went on with my explanation. “I slept in his brother’s bed. Oh, and could you text Tyson to tell him to come with Justin? I had an argument with him before so, while I try to work it out with him, you could talk with Tyson.” I suggested, hoping she would do that for me or at least for herself.
As I had expected, it wasn’t hard to convince her. “Okay, I’ll do it. But only because you’re my bestfriend.” She tried to suppress a giddy smile.
“Sure Kelsey. You know you’re dying to see him.” I poked her ribs before crossing the school’s doors and running to our last lesson.
________________________________
We hopped off Kelsey’s black Range Rover as I took a deep breath, like it would build up my courage to speak to Justin. I spotted him and Tyson sitting on our usual bench, talking. They didn’t see us at first but as we were walking towards them, Tyson looked our way, making Justin look too. For a millisecond our eyes met but he looked away. He was pissed and I couldn’t blame him. Kelsey was oblivious to this since I hadn’t told her what had actually happened and she didn’t ask me either. She was just gonna tell me I’m a bitch – something I already figured out myself – so it’s better this way.
Once we reached them, Tyson stood up and our fists collided in some kind of handshake we had settled the night before. “Sup BB?” He called me by my nickname, causing me to laugh and Kelsey to wrinkle her forehead.
“Hey, Ty.” I nodded my head.
Then he engulfed Kelsey in a hug and they disappeared from our view talking animatedly about whatever.
The air went thick with tension as I took a seat next to Justin. He didn’t even flinch at the cracking noise of the wooden bench or acknowledged my presence whatsoever. I was afraid to talk, afraid to move and even afraid to breath.
When I reunited the courage to speak, I just mumbled a ‘hey’. Justin didn’t respond, making me sigh. He was really upset.
“Justin.” I whined. “Can we talk?” I asked, receiving silence once again. “Look Justin, I’m sorry okay? I didn’t mean what I said and I’ve been feeling like crap all day for it. I didn’t want to snap at you, it’s myself I’m disappointed with and I took it all out on you. Please, forgive me.” I let it all out without breathing in between.
Justin finally turned his head to glance at me and blinked. I awaited an answer – even if it was cursing me – feeling nervous under his stare. “You were a total bitch.” He stated simply. Jeez, thank you for your bluntness. “But I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have forced you to come.” He eventually said, guilt glistening in his beautiful hazel eyes.
“No, I agreed to come so it’s technically my fault. I’m just angry with myself for being so careless…and I admit I was a bitch.” I sent him an apologetic look, biting my lip and glancing down at my lap.
“I won’t ever let you drink again.” I heard Justin cracking a smile, causing me to lift my eyes.
“Please.” I mimicked him as my lips curved up.
“I see you changed.” He pointed, eyeing my improvised outfit.
“I tried but I’m in desperate need for a shower and a bed.” I let out a soft laugh, tucking lost tendril of hair behind my ears.
Justin looked at me in understanding. “At least you didn’t wake up with a terrible hangover.” He shrugged. That would have been the cherry to the pie.
“By the way, how did you know where I was yesterday when you saved me from that thief?” I inquired, remembering he hadn’t told me anything about how he had gotten the car or how he was in the same neighborhood as me and at the same time.
“I didn’t know. You just oddly happened to be in one of the loneliest streets of New York City. Seriously, what’s with you and being in dangerous places?” He shook his head pulling his eyebrows together in amused confusion. “I’m starting to think you’re a thrill-seeker, Brooklyn.”
“I don’t. It’s not my fault that my friend lives in such a creepy neighborhood, it’s even worse than yours.” I whined making him chuckle as I propped my legs on the bench, hugging my knees.
“It’s a rich zone, that’s why there are many thieves around.” He explained. “You were lucky he just wanted your money and not your body.”
I cringed at the thought. “I wasn’t gonna give it to him.” I muttered looking away. “What were you doing there then?” I questioned suspiciously and honestly curious about it.
He inhaled deeply before returning his attention to me. “The fact that it’s a quiet, empty neighborhood has its advantages. I just decided to drive my just-stolen car home going that way because I knew no one would see me.” He shrugged. “Including the police.”
I reflected on it for a minute before replying. “Seen as you saved my life I will turn a blind eye on the fact that you broke the law.”
“I wasn’t expecting less.” He smirked triumphantly.
“But it doesn’t mean I approve of it.” I warned him. No matter what I told him he wasn’t gonna change his criminal ways so why even bother trying? It sounds weird calling him a criminal when he’s such a nice guy once you get to know him. And to think I thought he was scary the first time I saw him…
After a few seconds he kept staring at me. “What?” I chuckled amused.
He parted his lips and I stared at them for a second, feeling my cheeks heat up. “Do you regret kissing me?” He blurted out, catching me totally off guard.
My eyes widened and my mouth opened but words didn’t come out. Why is everyone asking me that when I haven’t figured it out yet? Justin’s eyes were boring into mine with an emotion I couldn’t quite make out. Did he not regret it? My head was a mess.
We were fortunately interrupted by Kelsey’s squealing voice.
“Brooke! I was telling Tyson that Justin and he should come to your birthday party, right?” Her hopeful eyes gave away that she was head over heels for Tyson.
The boys looked at me expecting an answer. “Of course.” I breathed out, still in shock by Justin’s previous question.
“Great.” Kelsey squeaked clapping her hands. We all laughed at her childishness, although the sounds were hollow, no emotions inside from my part.
Soon, the kids came out and we headed back home. Justin’s question lingered in the air unanswered but, after thinking about it during the whole ride home, I think I came up with a response.
________________________________
I came out of the bathroom in my clean, comfy pj’s that consisted of checkered long pants in grey with a red ribbon to tie them at the height of my hips and a white off the shoulder ¾-sleeved t-shirt. I slipped in my fury red slippers as I dried my hair with a small towel. I had never needed a shower so much in my life.
I lay on my bed, feeling all my muscles relax above the softness of the mattress and the sheets. I was falling into unconsciousness when the door to my room opened and someone came inside, making me groan and unwillingly open my tired eyes. I wanted to tell them to leave me alone but, when I saw Nate, I stood up at light-speed.
“What are you doing here?” I inquired, straightening my clothes and feeling self-conscious since I was in my pj’s with no makeup on.
“We just wanted to check on you. We didn’t see you at school today.” A sickly high-pitched voice spoke from behind Nate and, soon, Natasha appeared by his side, smiling.
Why doesn’t it surprise me that she tagged along? She would use any excuse to go with him. I inwardly groaned, rolled my eyes and pulled at her hair. If only I could really do all that.
“I didn’t see you guys either but don’t worry, I’m good.” I tried to sound nice and polite but Natasha’s obsession with my whatever-you-wanna-call-it (aka Nate) was annoying me.
“We didn’t tell your mother that you skipped two periods.” She whispered winking at me but, behind the friendly act, there was something else. I was just hoping they wouldn’t ask where I was.
“Thank you. That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” I fake smiled at her. I know she was the one supposed to say that sentence but I just wanted to stress it.
“Of course.” I don’t know what game she’s playing but I’m getting sick of her fakeness. I don’t know if we’re still friends because all she seems to want to do is bother me. “Do you guys want me to leave you some alone time? I can wait for you outside.” She directed that last part towards Nate.
“You don’t need to wait for him, Natasha.” I said but it sounded more like a question.
“Unless he wants to walk home, I have.” She stated, giggling stupidly.
I glanced at Nate in utter confusion.
“My car was stolen yesterday.” He explained. “Natasha offered to give me a ride to see you.”
“What? But…how?” My confusion only grew bigger.
“I was at the gas station paying for my purchase and, when I came out of the shop, my car was gone.” His eyes burned in anger.
“Oh my God.” I gaped, covering my open mouth with my hands.
“I know right? I hope they find the lowlife soon.” Natasha intervened, gently squeezing Nate’s biceps.
But at that moment I didn’t care about her sudden show of affect. All that ran through my clouded mind was the fact that the possibility of Nate’s car being the one Justin stole was of a 99.9999%. All the pieces fitted in. An expensive car that could only belong to someone rich, how it looked familiar when I first saw it, the fact that it was stolen yesterday. I wanted nothing more than to be wrong. I was between a rock and a hard place, between lying to my boyfriend and betraying my friend – whom I had also kissed. I bit my lip hard, to the point that blood came out.
“Wow, Bella, you look even more affected than me.” Nate chuckled. “Don’t worry, okay? The police will find it.” He wrapped his arms around me in a protective way and kissed the top of my head as I rested my head on his chest. The pressure of the guilt was so unbearable that my stomach was blazing, making me think I was gonna throw up. The contact with Nate had made me remember my kiss with Justin. My breathing threatened to get uneven and I pulled away trying to calm down.
“You should rest, love, you look tired. We’ll see you at school on Monday.” The way he called me ‘love’ sent a new wave of guilt through my body and I thanked god the moment they left my room.
I collapsed on my bed but, to my surprise, tears didn’t come out. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to relax. When I was more or less okay, I dialed Justin’s number on my phone and waited for him to pick it up.
“You’re already missing me, Princess?” His cocky voice rang through the speaker.
I ignored his flirty hello. “Justin, you need to give that car you stole back. It’s Nate’s car.” The anxiety was visible in my voice as I emphasized the word Nate.
“What? Are you fucking kidding me?” He screamed. However, he didn’t sound faced by it, he sounded almost amused.
“Justin, I’m totally serious. You don’t know how much power his father has and he will move heaven and earth to get it back. You can end up in jail, Justin, this isn’t a joke.” I said hurriedly, internally praying that he would listen to me and that nobody would catch him. Even though I didn’t want to admit to myself that the biggest of my concerns was Justin and not Nate or his car, deep inside I knew it was like that. I still had to find out why.
He didn’t reply at first. “I’m afraid to tell you that I can’t give him his car back.” He said smoothly. Was I the only one having a panic attack? Apparently yes.
“What do you mean you can’t?” I asked tentatively, the cracked nailpolish on my nails being scrapped further by my teeth.
“Look at the street down your window.” He commanded softly, like that was relevant at the moment.
I reached for my glasses and put them on, considering I wouldn’t be able to see anything otherwise. Once my eyes looked through the graduated lenses I could make out the lights of the buildings surrounding me but the people walking down the street were just blurry ants.
“What am I supposed to see?” I squinted my eyes trying to find something familiar in the distance.
“Can you see and orange car?” He asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” I replied after spotting what seemed like an orange sports car. “Why?” I furrowed my eyebrows together. Is he seeing it too? I’m confused.
“Okay. Can you see the person leaning against it? He’s talking on the phone.” He added, the tiniest hint of seriousness in his voice.
My eyes were narrowed into slits by now and, even like that, I could hardly make out the silhouette of someone leaning against the sports car.
Then realization kicked me in the guts. “Oh no, Justin. Please tell me you didn’t…” It wasn’t necessary to finish the sentence. I could hear his smug smirk through the phone. “You’re crazy.” I hissed in disbelief, not being able to believe that he had sold Nate’s car to get this new one.
“Wanna see the car?” He asked like he hadn’t just committed a criminal offense that could make him rot in prison for the rest of his life. “It’s pretty cool.”
“No, I don’t. Seriously, you…you…” I struggled to find the words to express what I wanted to say. “You’re not normal.”
“Ooooh.” He dragged the ‘O’ like he had just realized something. “I know why you don’t want to come down. You’re scared of having to answer my previous question.” If I had a pair of binoculars, I’m sure I’d be able to perfectly see that insufferable smirk of his plastered on his face.
I stopped looking at the window and swallowed hard. Damn, I had forgotten about that and it only made matters worse to bring the subject up right now.
“I’m tired and I wanna sleep, that’s all.” I mumbled with no emotion.
“So after I came all the way down here to see you, you ditch me?” He faked a hurt sniff.
I let out a very small giggle. “Are you trying to blackmail me, Bieber?”
“Maybe, Reed.” He replied smugly. “Is it working?”
When I didn’t answer because I was too busy chewing on my lower lip, he continued. “I promise I won’t make you feel uncomfortable.”
“Like that’s possible.” I snorted.
“Please.” He repeated in a baby voice. Why am I even considering this?
“Fine, but I’ll only be there for a few minutes. I really am tired.” I said hesitantly.
He hung up before I could change my opinion.
Sighing, I put a white hoodie with a lining fur over my shirt and zipped it up so I wouldn’t get cold. Then, I changed my slippers for my Tom’s. Eyeing myself in the mirror, I decided that I didn’t look all that bad. It was a very casual pajama look but it was dark outside and I didn’t need to impress Justin, did I? My hair was almost dry, waving down my covered back and, out of pure laziness, I didn’t put on my contacts. I adjusted my black, plastic rimmed glasses on the bridge of my nose before locking my door and opening my window. The chill air hit my face, sending goose bumps down my exposed skin. I let out a whinewhen I saw the long flight of stairs waiting for me. I wish I could go through the front door but what excuse do you make up for going out so late in your pj’s? The fire escape would have to do.
I walked down slowly, not glancing at the street so I wouldn’t get sick from the height. I descended the never-ending metallic stairs that made weird noises under my weight. Once I reached the floor I was slightly flushed but it would be nothing compared to ascending them later. The things I do for you, Justin.
I saw him standing next to his car, looking as gorgeous as ever under the colored lights of the busy street. I put the hood over my head to hide myself from the people walking by. When Justin saw me, he sent me a toothy grin and my lips fought to mirror his, unable to contain my wishes of smiling back. I noticed, from this closer distance, that the car had two black stripes, one across each side of it.
“Hi.” I greeted, stuffing my cold hands in my pockets.
“Hey.” Why does he have the sleeves of his gray hoodie rolled up while I’m freezing? “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”
“I usually wear my contacts.” He nodded. “Do you mind if we get inside of your…car?” It felt weird saying the word because it technically wasn’t his but whatever. “I kind of am in my pj’s and don’t want people to see me.” I hugged my body awkwardly.
“Sure.” He opened the door for me and I climbed inside, him joining me a few seconds later on the driver’s seat.
“Nice ride, shawty.” I said trying to imitate the tone he had used with me the first time I saw him.
He chuckled, catching my joke. “Thank you. But don’t call me shawty.”
I thought about how much everything had changed since that day. I would have never in my life imagined myself sneaking out of my house to meet a boy who had just stolen my boyfriend’s car and sold it illegally to get a new one and who has gotten me in more trouble in a month than I have gotten myself in my whole life.
“What are you thinking about?” He questioned, turning on his seat to face me.
I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them, ignoring his glare as I did so. Boys and his love for cars. “I was thinking about how much my life’s changing because of you.” I said sincerely.
This surprised him and from the corner of my eye I saw his lips slyly twitching upwards like he was proud of that.
“Well, you’re changing my life a lot too. I had never come to see a girl without the purpose of fucking before.” The way he bluntly admitted that made me gasp.
I shook my head. “You’re unbelievable, Justin.”
“So I’ve been told.” He replied cockily as I rolled my eyes.
Silence fell upon us once again. It was a comfortable silence but I knew what he was thinking. I knew what I was thinking. It took just one meeting between our eyes for him to formulate the lingering-in-the-air question.
“Are you gonna answer me?” He asked softly, his fingers fidgeting with the keys of the car in nervousness. I never thought I’d see the day Justin Bieber would be nervous.
My lips remained sealed. Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure about my answer. I thought I had figured it out before but now I was confused again.
“I already know the answer, I can tell from your expression both now and before but I need to hear it.” He whispered and it sounded like he really needed it and it pained me. I can’t openly admit that I don’t regret it because it’s wrong in so many ways.
I sighed. “Justin, don’t make me say it please.” My eyes saddened whilst I was saying it. I needed time. Time to think if I really liked Nate, if it was possible that I felt something for Justin, to decide what was more important to me right now.
Justin’s hazel orbs flashed with hurt but it went as quick as it came. He nodded understandingly. I wanted to cry for what seemed like the hundredth time today.
“Just let me know something and I promise I won’t ask you anything else.” He made it seem like he wasn’t begging me, but deep down I knew that whatever it was that was bugging him was eating his insides alive. Could it be possible that he was somehow developing some kind of feelings for me? That our kiss actually meant something to him?
I nodded for him to continue, fearing what was about to come out of those perfect lips of his. “Would you do it again?”
Although I didn’t speak, the answer was formulated by my brain before I had time to blink.
Does now count?