Dear Lara,
This mechanical arm makes me angry. I can't go into any place with metal detectors. They beep loudly, and then I'm asked to leave the premises. And then sometimes I get this urge and I have to calm myself down before I punch the guy with my metal hand.
It's hard.
I have the foggiest of memories about being a well mannered young man, but once rage floods my system it all goes out the window. And I want to destroy and kill everyone in my path. Become the Soldier again. Let that person take over.
He could survive better than I ever could. That man is cold, calculating, and can hide better than anyone I know. Steve would have a helluva time finding me. I'd be nearly invisible.
So, sometimes I do let him guide my actions. Sam and Steve have been losing my trail easier. And that makes me glad.
I'm not ready for what happens after he finds me.
Steve shouldn't be so keen to find out, either.
Sincerely,
James Barnes