To @sheysimbajon, for being the best sidekick ever...
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~~~ CHAPTER 37 - SORRY ~~~
Ouch! That hurt my palm like hell.
It kind of shocked me how I managed to strike his face that hard! The prickling pain in my palm remained for quite some time. Neither of us said a word.
I tried my best to gather my thoughts together as I placed my hurting palm on the bed surface.
"G-Get out of here," I said finally within my ragged breathing.
Nigel rubbed his reddened cheek with his palm while he averted his face from me.
"You have no right to do that to me," I firmly expressed as I sat up on the bed.
It took him several seconds before being able to reply. I was sure he didn't expect that. For sure, the proud Nigelito Joaquin didn't expect to be slapped for kissing a girl! His unsteady breathing also seemed to be in sync with mine until he faced me once again.
"I'm sor...ry..." he pronounced those words, so heavily in his breath, like everything depended on that statement.
Sorry?
For what?
For stealing me a kiss? Or for everything he did to me?
Nigel, the person who didn't believe in sorries, said sorry to me? God, this was the very first time ever.
"I'm sorry for everything, Althea," he said holding my forearms this time. I clenched my fists as he touched me. "I know you hate me very, very much. I know I've been really mean and vexatious to you since we've known each other, but I'll make it all up to you."
"Are you saying you're sorry? The great Nigel Joaquin Sarmiento is saying sorry? Whatever happens to believing that faults can't be scraped out by sorries?" I said sarcastically as I tried to get out from the bed.
Quickly, Nigel grabbed my body by his hands. "Keep still. You have a cut on your knee," he reminded me as his arms encircled my waistline. He was still sitting at my side. I immediately felt goosebumps all over my body when I felt his arms around me.
"Stop all of these, Nigel. Tell me, how can I believe that you're really sorry when you have instilled in my mind that sorries couldn't bring back lost things? Remember? You don't believe in saying sorry? So why are you saying it now?" I asked him as I tried to unlock his arms from my waist. Everything really felt so awkward. He was, however, determined not to let me go. He remained firm at my side, much more his arms around me.
"To let you know that I've changed, Althea. Please, tell me what I should do for you to accept me..." He pressed his forehead on mine, making our noses touch each other. His breathing was tickling my mouth.
Accept him?
For two years, I had never dreamed anymore of being with him again and I became successful accepting to myself that HE NEVER LOVED ME and I COULDN'T FORCE HIM TO LOVE ME.
He was heartless and compassionless.
So, why was he trying to win me now? Because of mom's health, perhaps? Because this was what mom wanted to happen?
"Enough, I don't want to hear anything from you anymore," I tried to sound forceful as much as possible.
"I know I was the biggest jerk on earth but I'll prove to you that I've changed. I'll prove to you. Just don't leave me again, please..." Nigel, at this time, held my jaw with his right hand and, not expecting it again, his lips planted a kiss on my forehead.
The brute just kissed me again! Didn't he learn a lesson from my slap a while ago?
How presumptuous of him!
Angrily, I slammed my fists on his chest. "You never learn a lesson!"
And he even embraced me more, making me stop pounding him, and it made me even much harder to breathe.
One last time, his soft lips were pressed on my forehead. This time, he made his lips stay there longer and, again, there were those goosebumps all over my body. I wasn't able to get away from his arms which imprisoned me fairly hard, his taut muscles rippled in my skin.
Seconds later, he finally released me as he stood up and cast me a languid stare. "Okay, let's talk some other time when you've already calmed yourself down."
I will never calm down myself when I'm with you, Nigel, so just don't even try talking to me again.
Finally, he decided to leave my room. I watched his back as he marched to the doorway. Tone muscles in his buttocks flexed as he moved.
I stared at him until he was out of my sight. I wanted to shout to the whole world how furious I was and how unprepared I was of the thing that just happened!
So, this was what I would get from coming back here? To be stolen a kiss --- not once, not twice --- but thrice, in only about fifteen or twenty minutes?
I really hate you, Nigel Joaquin!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
It was a Friday and Javier came to the palacio at 5:30 p.m. to pick me up for his mom's birthday party. Javier said it wasn't a big party. Mostly, the people to attend were just members of the family and some relatives. However, it would be a formal event so I had to wear a formal dress. Knowing that it was to be a family affair, I actually told Javier of my intention of not attending but he insisted by saying that his mommy, the first lady of the province, wanted to meet me.
I got myself ready by 5:30 and, when I was told by a maid that Javier had arrived, I went out of my room. Nigel wasn't around at this time for he went to the forest garden. For sure, he spent his afternoon becoming an artist again. Glad that he wasn't around pestering me, I confidently strutted in the hallway with my black dress.
Talking with Javier, mom was at the living room when I descended the stairs. They both stood up when I reached them.
Javier immediately kissed my cheek and I blushed. It wasn't because there were butterflies in my stomach or something. It was just mom was there and she seemed not happy with Javier kissing me. She frowned at me.
Mom, please...
I kissed her in the cheek. "Bye for now, mom. Don't worry about me. Javier is going to take me home tonight," I assured her.
"Yes, definitely, señora," he said smiling.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Javier and I arrived at their mansion just right on time. All in formal attire, the attendees were composed mostly of the governor's family members and closest relatives.
They were all seated in the living room when Javier and I appeared. Each of them had a wine glass in his or her hand. They all looked at me as I stood in front of them. It was as if they were scrutinizing me, from head to foot and vice versa.
"Ladies and gents, may I introduce to you my very special friend, Señorita Althea Ruiz."
Mrs. Melanie Suarez, Javier's mom, smiled at me as she came near me. She immediately kissed my cheek. "Hello, Miss Ruiz. I'm glad you..." she cast a glance at Javier, "I'm glad you came."
"Happy birthday, Madam," I greeted her.
"Thank you, dear," she replied.
All the others did the same, they kissed my cheek. The men who were present there were very well-known politicians in the province. The women were known to be their supportive wives. Some, about five of them, who were about of the same age with Javier and me, were Javier's cousins. He was, as I previously learned, the only child of the governor and Madam Melanie.
"So, you're the long lost foster daughter of Señora Carol Sarmiento?" One of Javier's cousins, a girl, asked me.
Long lost. It sounded like I went astray for those two years I was gone...
"Yes," I replied candidly.
"Oh! The supposed-to-be bride of Señora Carol's unico hijo?" another girl cousin asked.
I hesitated to answer at first. Who wouldn't know it in Sta. Fe?
"Please, don't bring it up anymore, Candice," Javier came to my rescue.
People in this town couldn't still forget my engagement to the Master of the Fields, could they?
"It's a long time already," I said, probably with my reddened face right now.
"Oh, sorry. Yeah, it was a long time already." Candice smiled acidly. "Why did you leave the palacio by the way? You kind of like made a big commotion in Sta. Fe, do you know that? It was quite a scandal."
"Okay, enough. Let's move on, guys. Dinner is served," Mrs. Suarez cut the conversation of which I was totally thankful.
Javier grasped my elbow. "I'm sorry about Candice, Thea," he whispered in my ear. "She's kind of like the blacksheep of the family."
Though a bit humiliated, I still managed to give him a smile. It wouldn't be fair to Javier if I'd walk out from here just because of a thoughtless, tactless remark from one of his cousins. I was here for Javier anyway and for his mother, who appeared nice to me, and not for this tactless cousin of his.
Everyone in the living room transfered to the open-sided lanai where the long table was set.
Having Javier at my right side and one of his aunts at my left, I sat on a chair and joined the dinner. Much of the dinner time, they talked about politics. Javier's dad, the governor, was planning to run for the senate in the next senatorial elections. Javier also announced his future plans for the town mayoralty right after completing his law studies.
I was thankful that they focused on politics because, at least, they forgot about me and my previous... scandal, as Candice said. Was it really?
After dinner, Javier brought me to their garden. We sat side by side on the concreted bench beside the fountain.
"It's my first time to bring a girl here and meet my family," he began, showing his even teeth widely as he beamed at me. "Mom likes you."
"Well, thank you for that," I said.
Actually, his mother, the sophisticated Mrs. Suarez, seemed very nice. Some time during the dinner, I caught her staring at me... and when she learned that I was watching her, she gave me a big smile.
"I'm really glad you came tonight, Thea, because I've wanted you to meet my family and them to meet you. And now that it happens, I'm so over the moon. I'm really happy," Javier talked apparently exalted. "Thea," he addressed me in a whisper as he held my right hand, "I love you. I love you very much. Please, give me the honor of calling you my girlfriend."
Yes, I had already decided that one of these days, I would give him what he wanted and bring our relationship to the next level. And, besides, he had been very consistent since we were in senior high school. Wasn't it enough for me to consider him? Perhaps, tonight would be the perfect time to say "yes" to him.
However, after I heard that unfavorable statement from one of his girl cousins, I instantly changed my mind. Perhaps, I still needed more time to think about Javier. As Kara said, there was really no need to rush on things.
I looked at Javier and I felt that I was making things unfair to him. He should only be the one I should consider. I shouldn't jeopardize him for what his family members did... but family was a big thing to me. If I'd have to accept somebody in my life, it would be someone whose family could accept me as me.
"Javier, it's... it's just that..." I answered hesitatingly as I tried to put my words together.
"Okay..." he muttered, grinning as he held my hands now with his. He seemed to get that I wasn't still ready. "I can wait. I can wait, Thea. At least, tonight you got to meet my family. As I've said, this is very important to me."
I nodded my head but I couldn't help it. I really pitied him for my prejudiced decision-making.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Javier took me to the palacio. All through the ride, he was very jubilant and talkative. Clearly, he was very, very happy.
It was almost ten o'clock when we arrived. He walked me to the main door. Before we parted, Javier held my left hand and whispered to me, "Thanks a lot, love."
Love?
"J-Javier?"
"Please, it's been a long time that I want to call you that," he said, squeezing my hand.
"But we're not---"
"Yes, we aren't yet but I'd like to think that you are exclusively dating me."
Exclusively dating? Yeah, I guessed we were. I wasn't dating anyone else but him.
"O-Okay..." I uttered.
"Thanks again, love," Javier reiterated before leaning down to kiss my cheek.
I closed my eyes to make sure of the specialness of this current situation. I needed to take note of this thing I was sharing with Javier to make sure if I did have feelings for him.
Then, I heard the creaking of the main door of the palacio to my left side.
Both Javier and I knew that the door had just been opened. Javier groaned as his kiss ended up very quick and interrupted. We both turned our faces to the person interrupting us.
Nigel stood in the doorway, hands in his shorts' pockets. He was sedulously gazing at us but I couldn't read what was on his mind.
"Good night, love," Javier said, appearing calm although I could tell he was irritated with the interruption.
"G-Good night, Javier," I expressed, trying to recover from shock due to Nigel's sudden appearance.
Trying his best to be polite in spite of what happened, Javier turned to Nigel. "Good night, Mr. Sarmiento."
Nigel didn't reply... like the jerk that he was.
Javier didn't mind anyway. He held my right hand and kissed the back of it. "Bye, love," he gazed at me for a while and then turned to leave. When he was finally in his car, I waved my hand at him.
"Bye, Javier. Take care," I said, still waving my hand. I stood there for a couple of minutes as I watched his car disappear.
I swirled around and was surprised to still see the great Nigelito Joaquin standing there by the doorway. Our eyes met.
He didn't say a word. He was just looking at me intently.
Getting my wits back, I tried not to mind his presence. As if nothing happened, I walked past him with my big strides. I then heard the closing of the main door behind me.
So he didn't follow me. Good.
I was on the first step of the staircase going to the next floor when I felt again his presence. Suddenly, I saw him at my left side and, not even asking for permission, he grabbed my left hand.
"What are you doing?" I asked as I stopped climbing up the stairs, totally flabbergasted with his gesture.
"I just want to hold your hand," he replied quickly.
What?
"What?" I repeated what was in my mind. "Come on! Release it, will you?"
"No, I'm not releasing you," he said, starting to go upstairs and pulling me gently. His pace going up was slow, enough for me to keep up with it.
I really couldn't understand why he was doing all of these crazy things to me. And I couldn't help it when my heart went on drumming like crazy every time I had this contact with him.
"Know what? This is all nonsense," I rebuked him when we were halfway, in the winding staircase, to the next floor.
Instead of releasing me, he even managed to intertwine our fingers together and he continued to take steps up the stairs at the same time pull me, not harshly though.
Finally, when we reached the second floor of the palacio, in the midst of the great spacious hall, I made a halt.
"This is really nonsense!" I repeated as I attempted to get my hand off him.
He ceased walking as well and faced me. "If seeing you with another guy happened years ago especially seeing him kissing you, I probably would just sulk in my studio or anywhere away from you or better yet let my jealousy arouse the monster in me by scolding you or insulting you or beating the guy myself," Nigel said strongly yet calmly, like he was trying to control himself from freaking out. "But now, I want to show you that I've changed. Even it hurts me to the core, Althea, I will try my best to be as cool and as patient as possible."
Jealous? Years ago?
Sulked in his studio? Fought with me? Scolded and insulted me? Beat the guy?
Okay. The last one happened. How could I forget him beating Dylan that very same night that I ran away?
"You were jealous before?" I uttered absent-mindedly. I didn't want to entertain the thought but my stupid mouth still asked about it.
"You have no idea..." he said, bending down at me and locking his gaze with mine. "You have no idea what you've been doing to me. You have no idea how many times jealousy put me in rage or made me a stupid non-talking creature before. You have no idea how jealous I was with all the guys surrounding you and, tonight, you have no idea how hurt---"
Raising my right hand up, I chimed in, "Wow! That's indeed news to me! You were jealous of the guys surrounding me? Oh, my! You were jealous like you were in love with me? Come on, please, don't make me laugh, Nigel Joaquin!"
Jealous? What a stupid word for somebody to say who didn't even have this word in his vocabulary!
I pulled my hand again and, this time, he finally released it.
"So funny, Nigel. Remember? Jealousy is not found in your vocabulary?" I exclaimed sarcastically. However, not wanting anymore to hear whatever he would say, I went on walking towards where my bedroom was located.
He followed me. "Have you had feelings for Suarez since you two were still in highschool?"
What?
I turned around and faced him once more. "Feelings for Javier?"
"Yeah... During those times when I thought you were really into our engagement, did you have feelings for him already?"
Oh, God! I was about to lose control now! How could he think of this? How could he accuse me of this?
Well, yeah, I wished I had feelings for Javier during our senior high school together. It would have made my life a lot better today!
"Remember that charity ball we attended more than two years ago, Althea? Remember that charity ball where you and that Suarez danced together?" he asked.
Instantly, my mind clicked and recalled that event. Who would ever forget that night? It was that night when Nigel kissed the guest singer in the midst of everybody present. It was that night when Nigel had become really violent that he roughly kissed me in the patio and even almost forced himself to have sex with me in the living room. It was that night when I began to realize my stupidity.
"What about that charity ball?" I asked with my cracking voice. Why did we still have to dig the dirts of our past? Those were events that I had tried to forget. How could I move on successfully if Nigel would still dwell in the past? I didn't want to go back in there anymore.
"You danced with him, cheek to cheek. You embraced him like you two were really that close. You don't know how confused my brain was at that time to see you with a boy that I barely knew and you even went out of the hall with him, sitting with him, side by side, on a bench in a dimly lit spot. I could have just punched him right that moment but I tried to keep my cool," he said, his voice was also cracking.
Oh, my God!
"It was because you danced with that singer! Tell me, Nigel, what was I supposed to do? Just stand and watch my fiancè dancing with another woman?" I retorted, turning around to go to my room.
"Because you were stealing glances with that Suarez," he said, grabbing my elbow. "All through out that dinner, both of you were exchanging glances. Damn, I couldn't f-cking explain to myself why you were acting that way. I got a feeling that you were attracted to him."
"Oh, my God! That was so already in the past! Why are we still talking about it?"
"Because we need to talk about it," he insisted. "I want to know if you have feelings for him since you were in high school."
"Either I have or don't have feelings for him since my high school days, that's no longer your damn business," I said sharply. "J-Just leave me alone."
"Althea..."
"You're telling me now that you were jealous of him? Do you really want me to believe you? For how many times did you deny in the past that you were never jealous of anyone? So don't expect me to believe you, Nigel Joaquin, because if I will, I'll also think that you're the most hypocrital guy on earth."
"Althea," Nigel said my name as he gripped my elbow harder.
"Please, just leave me alone."
He released me finally. "Sorry... I'm really sorry, Althea."
There was that damn word again.
I couldn't bear to hear him saying that word. I just hated him saying that. I began to take a step to go to my room.
"I'm sorry for everything," he said as I was walking away.
I walked fast until I reached my room and, for the first time in two years, a tear fell down my cheek because of him. For two years, I vowed to myself to never cry for this guy once more. Tonight, my self-control failed me.
No matter how hard I tried to deny it, deep down inside, the pain was still there. It had never been really gone. It was just there.
Because the heart that had been hurt for so many, many times in the past would never forget at all.
It's now too late for you to say sorry, Nigel, because I have long given up on you... and I intend to stand my ground.
Pride. The damn PRIDE. It was something that I lacked before.
Now, PRIDE was something that I had learned to practice after everything that had ever happened between the two of us. And it was something that I intended to keep for good.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
A/N
Thank you very much for reading.
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Shoutout sa tanang mga Bisdak nga mambasahay ani nga estorya! Akong dakong hangyo sa inyo, ipa-feel pud inyong presence oy! Botar pud ba! Pindota nang star sa ubos. Unya gusto pud ko mobasa sa inyong mga komento na Binisaya. Sigi na, guys, suporta sad ba sa inyong ubos na higala... 😉😉😉 (Para sa tanang nakasabot, iisa ang tiil!) Hahahaha! Bitaw, daghan kaayong SALAMAT!
Gosh, I really love my mother tongue... It's something that you can instantly use when you seem to have a hard time saying things in English... you know, during those times when you just feel like you've already used up your stock of English vocabulary. Hehe...
Have a nice day, everyone!
Always,
(sapphiregirl22) ~_^