Dedicated to my loyal, amazing and beautiful fans who I adore ♥
Chapter Thirty Seven
Everyone froze and once reality had kicked in, so did I.
My heart hammered against my chest. My mind, which had been filled with nothing but Mason, cleared and suddenly I became aware of each and every person in the room. The second Mason stepped back from me, I dared to open my eyes.
To my surprise it wasn't exactly the horror scene that I was expecting. Everyone stared, open mouthed at us and even the children had their eyes glued to Mason and I, but there were no pitch forks and abuse being hurled. My eyes followed the rows of faces until they landed on a very familiar pair. My dad stood behind Mason, his cheeks a little pink and a soft smile on his lips.
"Are you ok?" Mason whispered, drawing my attention back to him. I nodded, unable to speak. "I couldn't stop him." He bowed his head slightly, trying to hide the embarrassment that was obviously written all over his face.
I squeezed his hand in mine, "I'm not angry about that." I said and I was telling the truth. Yes, our packs found out in a different way than I would have wanted, but it didn't matter. Their opinion of us didn't matter and either way, they were going to find out somehow.
Giving me that small, corner of his lips lifting smile that sent my heart into a frenzy and knotted my stomach in the most pleasurable way possible, he turned to face my dad. "I understand your wife's feelings Mr Harper and I respect them, but she has to respect that Rain is my mate and nothing will change or stand in the way of that." With my hand still tight in his, he moved me around from behind him until I was standing beside him. "Of course I want your blessing and I haven't asked or proven in the best way that I deserve it, but she is safe with me and I would risk my own life to protect her. I'll treat her with nothing but respect and she will know every day how beautiful and important she is to me
The words falling from his mouth swelled my heart and by the looks of things, it had won my dad over as well. "You're mature for your age, son." He said with a warming smile. "And I believe every word you say. I know how important Rain is to you because my wife holds my heart in the same way. Please forgive what she has done this evening." The shame was for all to see
Mason held his hand out for him to take. "There's nothing to forgive. She's a mom and she worries."
I wasn't sure Alpha Vermont or Alpha Hudson would see it the same way, but I was grateful to Mason for saying that. "Still, that did not give her a reason to react the way she did." My dad shifted his attention to the two Alpha's standing still at the front of the room. "She just needs some time to come to terms with what's happening."
"As does everyone, Mr Harper." Alpha Vermont said. "I have welcomed Rainie into my family and my pack as my son's mate, but it's not just her who will risk sacrificing herself. Many of the woman and men here run the risk of losing their children."
He was right and I knew it, but that didn't stop the words cutting into me life a roughly edged blade. "She can have as much time as she needs." Mason said, turning toward everyone in the room. "Rain and I would like to have done this differently, but that doesn't matter now. We will have an announcing ceremony in two days, you are all welcome as our new, united pack."
Taking me by surprise, the room exploded into a round of applause. Each person cheering and giving us their congratulations.
Pulling me closer into his body, Mason's lips brushed my ear, "Looks like it's official, little kitten."
I smiled, not only to him, but the crowd of people who had their eyes solely focused on us.
* * *
You have to push harder, Rainie. Richard's voice echoed through my mind. You're not going to build strength if you don't push yourself to your limits.
I knew my strength wouldn't improve unless I did as he said, but I just couldn't get my body to push through the wall of pain. I had every image perfect in my mind; my family, my friends, my mate. Nothing would make my body push any more.
She needs to take a break, I told Richard, feeling my wolf weaken inside me. I can feel her getting tired, she can't do it.
There is nothing she can't do. He assured me. She is stronger than you can imagine. You're the one holding her back, she is ready for this. She can do whatever she needs to do to keep you safe, but you have to be prepared to help her.
Could she? There was no doubt my wolf was strong, but could she withstand the pain of training and still have enough left to keep us both alive.
You will not survive this if you base your existence on your wolf. Richard corrected me. You need to help her, you need to give her your strength to keep her going. Basing your survival on your wolf will leave you dead.
Hearing my wolf murmur her agreement with Richard made me accept that he was right. I couldn't expect my wolf to take on the fight alone, I would have to be there with her every step of the way.
My paws hit the ground harder, the dirt and dry soil being kicked up by my claws, I pushed hard. Harder than I ever had, harder than I ever thought I could.
It was my first day back at training and I had to work on catching a scent. Richard said it would be tough, but I couldn't imagine how tough it would be until I started.
I had no idea what I was looking for, but I guessed it was some item of clothing drenched in the scent I had to find. One thing was for sure, I didn't realise just how out of touch I was. The scent, though still subtle in the air, was slowly being masked by the smell of fresh wet grass and damp soil. The delicate fragrance from the flowers wasn't making it any easier either.
You're not focusing enough, Richard scolded. You're not letting your wolf do what comes natural to her.
Wasn't I? I could feel the power she had over me and how every one of her senses had sharpened in an instant as she took in everything around us.
She's still having to fight your human form for full control, he told me. You're an animal Rainie and your instincts as an animal are what you need now.
Was I that out of sync with my own wolf? We'd only been on a couple of runs in the last few weeks and it had been even longer since I let her relish in her animalistic instincts. Maybe this was the price I had to pay for pushing her to the side for my own selfishness.
Searching a few miles in front of me to make sure there wasn't anything that would leave me on my butt, I focused on the human side of me and concentrated on relaxing myself.
At first, my body became a heavy weight that felt as if it was pulling me down and I wasn't sure that would benefit my wolf at all. Then, a weightless sensation spread across my body almost as if it were lifting each part into the air. My heart rate slowed and my head became a little light. I suddenly felt like I was disconnected with my actual body, leaving me to be nothing more than a floating wraith. It was a surreal feeling that I had never experienced.
Despite the strangeness of what was happening to me, my wolf didn't seemed fazed by it at all. In fact, she was thriving on it. For the first time, I felt completely animalistic. I didn't feel human anymore. Just like I was watching a wild beast sort out her prey. Whilst my heart beat steadied in my chest, hers raced, quicker and quicker with each step she took.
Endless miles of the rolling greenery was being covered quicker than I had ever known. Before I could make out a mixture of brown and green from the trees, but now, I could barely see anything. Though that didn't mean I didn't know what was in front of me. In fact, I knew where everything was. This new found feeling carried my vision further than I ever thought possible.
The dewy scent of each blade of grass was strong, but my wolf knew what she wanted. It wasn't the delicate smell of bluebells or the earthy scent of soil. It was the scent I was here to track and she knew exactly where to find it.
Another few minute passed and the scent from the clothing was suddenly wrapped around me. Her snout dropped within inches from the ground, drinking in the scent until she found what she had been looking for. Buried in a small mountain of soil was a blue, cotton shirt.
Basking in the small victory, an overwhelming sense of pride warmed my body. That was amazing, I gushed in awe of her. I didn't know you could do anything like that.
We did it.
No, I had nothing to do with what just happened, all I did was take a step back and give you the control you needed.
She playfully snapped at me. Whatever I can do is because of you. I rolled my eyes knowing this was an argument I would never win. Now you need to take over again.
Wait, what? How? I had absolutely no idea what I had to do.
Can't you just undo whatever you did?
I would if I knew how the hell I managed to do it in the first place. I don't know what I did, I just relaxed and felt myself kind of separating from you.
Try that again, only this time focus on coming back to me.
I wasn't sure this was going to work, but I had to give it a shot, right?
I figured that if relaxing lifted my body from my wolf, then tensing may work bringing us back together.
Starting from the bottom of my body and working my way up, I concentrated on tensing each muscle, imagining my wolf and I becoming one again. Slowly, I could feel myself becoming heavier, no longer the floating wraith above her, but gradually entering my wolf shaped form again.
It felt as if the second I was back in my wolf's body, tiredness drained my energy. It worked, can you feel me again?
Yes, you've weakened a lot, she told me.
Padding back to Richard took the last of my strength, though I appreciated my wolf for taking a lot of the weight. Dropping the blue shirt from my mouth in front of him, he beamed a smile at me. "Well done, Rainie."
I bowed my head in a show of gratitude. Thank you.
Ruffling the fur on my head, he crouched down in front of me and took hold of my snout in both of his hands. "The more practice you have, the easier it will become. You won't always feel this tired from it."
That was good to hear.
I wasn't sure if what happened between my wolf and I was common or it was just pure coincidence that I had managed to do it. Either way, I figured it was best to find out. I don't know how I did it.
The soft, wrinkled skin between his brows knitted together. "What do you mean?"
You said I should let my wolf take full control, right? He nodded, urging me to continue. Well, I tried that and... I wasn't sure how to explain what had happened. We sort of... separated.
"Separated?" He repeated.
Yeah, I didn't feel as if I was in her body any more. I realised the more I tried to explain it, the stranger it sounded. Like I was floating above her. I could feel her and see everything she could, but she was doing it alone. I was just watching.
"This isn't something I've heard of before, Rainie." By his expression I knew he was just as confused as I was. "Have you spoken to Mason?"
No, I didn't know I could do it until today.
Rubbing his chin, he thought for a moment before continuing, "You should tell him what happened. Though you haven't mated, Mason is a strong wolf and comes from a very pure line of full blooded wolves. This may be something you share as mates."
Could Mason do the same with his wolf?
I guess that would make sense. There are a few things that we can both do because of our bond. I told him, remembering the time I could see, feel and hear exactly what he could even though I wasn't with him.
"I'm not surprised." He smiled. "It will make you both very powerful leaders when the time is ready." Brushing his hand through my fur once more, he stood from his position in front of me "For now, training is over. You and your wolf need rest, you both did wonderful."
Thanks, Richard.
* * *
As the ice cold water trickled over my sore muscles and burning skin, I would have believed I was in heaven had I not known better.
I didn't end up staying in Bella's, she had a date and the last thing I wanted was for her to cancel it because of me, so instead I was staying with Nicky.
It probably wasn't the best idea considering how my mom had behaved, but I wasn't ready to face her yet so I had no other choice.
Slipping into a pair of shorts and an old tee, I twisted my hair into a messy knot on top of my head, then left the comfort of my temporary bedroom and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
It had been a while since I last stayed here and I had missed the bustling sound of the kitchen. Whilst our pack didn't share a house like the Harbour Pack, there wasn't a night you would find most of them hanging out at Nicky's.
The Hudson house was pretty much the Taj Mahal compared to mine. Our pack might not have been rich, but that didn't mean Nicky's family weren't.
Two eyes met mine as I dragged myself into the kitchen. "How was training?" Nicky asked, shoving a spoon full of tomato pasta into his mouth. I just about managed a grunt. "That bad, huh?" He laughed.
Dishing out a bowl of the warm pasta for myself, I took a seat opposite him. "I've missed a lot." Who was I kidding, a lot was an understatement.
His head bobbed up and down slowly, "You'll get there." The reassurance didn't help much. "It'll take time, but Richard will make sure you know everything you need to and that you're ready."
I chewed on the tomato-y goodness before speaking again, "You really think we'll have time. We don't know when the fight is. For all we know they could be preparing themselves right now for tonight."
With a small smile on his face, his hand reached over and rested on top of mine. "That's not going to happen, Rainie. They'd be crazy to attack us this soon, they need just as much time as we do, probably more."
I didn't say anything. Nicky was obviously confident in what he was saying, though I couldn't fully believe it. The Redblood Pack was built on instinct, they did what they wanted, when they wanted. Their reputation didn't exactly scream organised planners.
Sensing my hope of a topic change, Nicky finished the last of his dinner and set the plate aside. "Have you spoken to your mom yet?"
"No and I don't want to."
My quick reply caught him off guard. "You can't just ignore her. Yeah, she's crazy as hell and definitely not the most well liked pack member at the minute, but she's still your mom and she was just looking out for you."
"Nicky, she freaked out in front of everyone. She insulted our Alpha and the Alpha of another pack."
"She's scared, Rainie." He spoke with the voice of an Alpha, calm and understanding. "Her only child has found that her mate is none other than the Alpha of another pack meaning you have to leave us and then she's told you have to go up against a pack full of ruthless murders. Don't you think you should cut her some slack?"
I understood where he was coming from but that didn't make it any better. "We'd already spoken about all this. After you guys' had come to dinner and she took off at your mom, we talked about it and she said she was fine and that she knew why I had to do it. She had accepted it, so why change her mind now?"
With a simple smirk he said, "She lied."
"What?"
He took a deep breath, lifted himself from his seat and walked around the table until he stood next to me. "Nothing changed her mind," He said, crouching down beside me, "She was never okay with it, how could she be? She told you what you wanted to hear to make you happy and probably to get you to forgive her for embarrassing you."
Is that what she did? "Wouldn't it have been easier to tell me the truth instead of hiding how she felt and then acting crazy in front of everyone?"
"Would it have made any difference?"
"A difference to what?"
"Whether you would be in the fight or not."
I wanted to say it would have done, but I think we both know that would have been a lie. My mom's feelings were important to me, of course they were, but they wouldn't have made my decision any different.
Bowing my head, I shook it. "It was a mom protecting her daughter." He said. "Don't be too harsh on her."
"Has your dad said anything about it?"
It was his turn to shake his head. "He was pissed, but he understands."
He might have understood, but I didn't want my mom to have to take any punishment for what she'd done. "Maybe I should go and talk to him." I suggested.
Smiling, he stood from his position. "He's in his office."
* * *
I could count on one hand the amount of times I had been in Alpha Hudson's office. There was never any reason for me to go in, but I guess when Nicky takes over as Alpha that will change.
"Come in." The command was muffled by the thick, wooden door that stood between us.
As I entered the large, dimly lit room I took a slight bow before speaking. "Alpha Hudson, can I speak to you?"
Looking up from his paperwork, he smiled. "Of course Rainie, but please call me Tom. It's improper for our future Beta to address me in such formal terms. Is there problem?"
With my gaze meeting his, I shook my head. "No." I answered. "I wanted to apologise for what happened in the pack meeting."
Before I could say anything else, he held his hand up. "I am an Alpha Rainie, but I am a father first and I understand her emotions."
"That doesn't excuse what she did." I said.
He considered this, "No it doesn't, but it does give her a pretty good reason to act out of character, don't you think?"
"But you were angry with her." I stated. Actually, there was no mistaking his anger. The veins in his neck had looked ready to pop.
His throaty chuckle filled the room. "I will admit, I was angry. Your mother crossed the line disrespecting her Alpha, but my wife has nothing but good words to say about her and as you well know, mates can be very persuasive." The words brought a look of love and devotion to his eyes. "As I have said Miss Harper, I am a father before I am an Alpha, do not think I don't have the same feelings about Nicky. Like you, he is our only child and if I could spare him from the fight, I would in a heartbeat."
Feeling my body slouch and my shoulders hunch, I admitted, "I don't know what to do."
"First, you should take a seat, I've never been one for formal meetings." He smiled, moving the towers of paperwork away from him and placing his pen on the desk. "Second, you need to understand the reality your mother and father have to face."
That wasn't necessary. "I already know that, Alph—Tom." I quickly corrected myself.
"I'm not sure that you do." He said, bringing the whiskey filled tumbler to his lips. "The reality is that there is a greater possibility that you will die than there is that you will return to your family."
His word were harsh and brought an unwanted taste my throat. "Whilst Alpha Vermont and I will do everything we can to ensure your return, it is not something we can promise."
"I understand that." And I did, I knew the risks that were involved in this fight.
"You do, but do you understand how this affects your parents?"
I thought about his question. Did I really understand what my mom and dad were giving up letting my fight? Had I taken any time to really think about how they would feel if I never returned?
"I didn't think so." Tom answered for me. "What your mom did tonight was foolish, but it was understandable."
"I need to fight." I told him. "When Nicky asked me to be Beta, I couldn't believe it. I never thought I would be good enough and I certainly didn't think anyone else would think I would be." My wolf's heart filled with pride. "Mason told me about the Redbloods and I believe in why we are doing this. As the future Beta that means I have no other choice."
For a second that felt like eternity, Tom stared at me. There was no movement, no emotions expressed on his face, he just stared at me. "Nicky made the right choice when he announced you, Miss Harper."
A light shade of red tinted my cheeks. "Thank you, Alpha."
Suddenly, a question formed in my mind that I couldn't stop myself from asking. "What about Carmen?"
With his eyes boring into mine and the strong gulp of his beverage slipping down his throat, I knew he never expected it. "Carmen?"
His fake confused look didn't work, "Jude's mom." I stated. I wanted to continue and ask her why he had left her and her son to be treated so badly, but I held back.
"You're an inquisitive little thing, aren't you? Exactly how you've always been." He said, his memory no doubt going as far back as my childhood.
Ignoring his comment, I pushed for more information. "Will she fight with us?"
Taking a deep breath, he fixed his eyes on me. "No, she doesn't belong to either pack and therefore has no reason to join us."
Though he spoke with a clipped tone, I sensed an underlying sympathy for her. "But she lives with the Harbour Pack, doesn't that make her apart of them, and now once we're officially a united pack, a part of us in some way?"
He shook his head, his forehead creased. "No." Was his simple answer. "She is merely a guest."
Was he kidding me? I snorted and mumbled, "She's not treated like a guest."
He obviously had no idea what I was talking about. "Peter holds Carmen in high regard. The pack might not approve of the hospitality he has given her, but they will follow his order."
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I held back. I had made a promise to Carmen that I wouldn't repeat anything said between us that day and I was going to keep it. "Jude's not going to fight either, is he?"
The same fondness clouded Tom's eyes as they had the night of the food fight. "Jude is a strong boy and would be an asset to any pack, but rules are rules."
"Where will they go?"
He smiled and folded his arm, leaning back into his chair. "You'll have to ask him that. He and Carmen will leave shortly and return when it is all over."
Talking about Jude made me realised just how much I missed him. It felt like a lifetime that I hadn't spoken to him for. He was my friend, one of my best friends, and I felt as if I had done nothing but ignore him. It wasn't easy with Mason hating him so much, but that didn't mean it was impossible.
"Tom, can I ask you something?" My voice was low. I had to admit, I was a little nervous and I had no idea whether he would answer me or not. He nodded. "Did you know Carmen before she moved in with the Harbour Pack?"
His eyes remained unwavering on mine. Of course, thanks to Carmen already telling me, I knew he had been friends with her in school, but I couldn't tell him that. "I did." He began. "Carmen and I were met when we were teenagers, we were close." He took a deep breath, "We all were."
Continuing with the pretence that I didn't know anything, I pressed. "All?"
"Alpha Vermont, Michael, Carmen, Delilah and I." He clarified, "There were a more of course, but you wouldn't be interested in their stories, would you?" I knew it wasn't a question he needed answering. "We went to school together, we were in many of the same classes and gradually we became friends."
"Did you know Jude's dad?"
He nodded, "Yes."
Sinking further into the chair, I waited for him to speak again. "It was easy for us to become friends, especially with our packs being on such good terms." As he spoke, his face held the small smile of warm memories. "There were a lot of memories made between us, most of which I'll cherish for as long as I live. My favourite being when I found that Delilah was my mate." I smiled at the heartfelt emotion that crossed his features. "Of course, all good times must have their bad. Tension between Michael and Peter gradually became worse as it did between Michael and myself. Red blooded males destined to be Alphas – no matter how close – would always have their differences."
"What happened?"
His shoulders lifted lazily. "We drifted apart. We had our training to focus on and our own packs."
For some reason, I didn't believe him. There wasn't much Carmen would say about what happened, but I sensed it was more than just a group of friends drifting apart as Tom was telling me. "Why did Carmen leave?"
"Very inquisitive, Rainie." He repeated, giving a low chuckle. "A good trait for a Beta." I smiled. "Carmen was seventeen when she found her mate. As all females are when that time comes as you well know, she was overjoyed." His eyes darkened with sadness. "Unfortunately, her mate didn't quite feel the same. He didn't believe she wasn't good enough and that she would be a disappointment."
My heart constricted in my chest, my wolf remembering the emotions she had felt when Mason said those words to me.
"He was wrong," Tom told me confidently, "She would have made a fine Luna. She was strong, independent and confident. She knew exactly what she wanted and she would stop at nothing to get it. Sadly, for her mate that wasn't enough."
I had only met her a few times and even I knew she would have been the perfect Luna. Remembering my conversation with Carmen, her words played over in my head. I already had an idea she was rejected and now Tom had confirmed it.
For her to be a Luna her mate had to have been an Alpha. "Tom, who was Carmen's mate?"
His eyes burned into mine, holding an emotion I couldn't name. Then his words had my heart stop in my chest and my eyes widen with shock.
"Her mate was Michael Vermont."